148. How to Enter Your ~Discipline Era~ and Start Respecting Your Time to Change Your Life

So, I always get told, whether it's through comments on Instagram or YouTube, or honestly, there's a lot of people in my quote unquote real life who have said this to me that I am the most

disciplined and structured person that they know. And how do I do it? How do I

they know. And how do I do it? How do I stay organized with work? How do I maintain a social life and have time for hobbies and also stay sane all at the

same time? How did I stop being lazy and

same time? How did I stop being lazy and become so productive? And honestly, I want to clear things up a little bit

right on the get-go. First, I am not productive all the time. Obviously,

nobody is. But what I am is disciplined all the time. And there's a big difference between productivity and discipline. You probably aren't lazy. I

discipline. You probably aren't lazy. I

always get a little bit like not mad but we'll say sad when people call themselves lazy because a lot of times laziness isn't necessarily

your fault and you probably aren't lazy like I wasn't lazy either. What you are if you feel lazy is burnt out and overstimulated. Maybe you are

overstimulated. Maybe you are understructured. you are emotionally

understructured. you are emotionally disregulated and you're trying to rely on motivation to carry through on habits that actually require systems. Okay? And

we talked about this in the episode last week, so you can go back and listen to that, too. I think that's a good

that, too. I think that's a good precursor for this episode. But

generally speaking, when people call themselves lazy, what they usually mean is like, "I can't follow through on the promises that I keep to myself. Even

when I care about something, I procrastinate. I know what to do, but

procrastinate. I know what to do, but then I just don't actually do it and execute on it. And I waste time and then I feel guilty about it afterwards, which

I can relate to all of those things. But

what is so important to distinguish here is that that's not laziness. It's a lack of discipline skills. And discipline, in my opinion, has a little bit of a

branding problem. We have been taught

branding problem. We have been taught that discipline means forcing yourself to do things that you don't want to do or white knuckling your way through life

or becoming like a very rigid and joyless version of yourself. And this

framing really turns people off to becoming disciplined before they even try because they think that oh if I become disciplined and structured then everything in my life becomes rigid and

so black and white. But the reframe that changed everything for me when it came to discipline is that discipline is a form of self-respect in action. It's how

you show yourself that your goals in your time in your future matter more than your momentary discomfort. So this

episode is going to be all about how to move from being what I'm calling lazy adjacent to being focused, consistent, and effective in a way that's both

sustainable and realistic. It's not

extreme. It's not necessarily like the aesthetic product productivity that we see online that I honestly feel like is a little bit empty. It's just skills, practices, and habits that are going to

give you real results, especially if you really want 2026 to be the year that you actually like quote unquote lock in.

Before we get into the rest of the episode, a quick reminder that I do have a new Substack. It's called Beyond Your Budget. And on Thursdays, so my podcast

Budget. And on Thursdays, so my podcast episodes come out on Wednesdays. On

Thursdays, I release what is essentially the written companion to this week's episode. So, in those um Subscri

episode. So, in those um Subscri Substack essays, oh my goodness. I go

through in more detail what we talk about on the podcast. I'll link out different resources or, you know, show pictures and things. So, if you are

enjoying the show and you want a little bit more, I recommend subscribing to my Substack. It is currently free. I mean,

Substack. It is currently free. I mean,

these articles will always be free and it's always linked in the description.

So, I would love to see you there because this year when I'm thinking about my own discipline in lock-in for 2026, I'm very, very, very focused on long form content. I'm having a lot of

fun here with the long form of it all just because I really think that the future of content is long form and it's much more fun for me to connect with you

in this way. Like I absolutely love reading your comments and hearing from you and hearing that the things that I'm sharing and the things that I'm experiencing in my own life resonate with you too. It makes me feel much less

alone and hopefully it makes you feel the same. So, with that in mind, let's

the same. So, with that in mind, let's get into the rest of today's episode.

So, before you can actually become disciplined, you have to stop mislabeling the problem, especially mislabeling it as laziness, which has a

very negative connotation. The issue

with laziness explicitly is that it implies a character flaw. Discipline

problems are generally or almost always structural and they're usually related to life admin overwhelm which again we discussed last week. So I recommend you go back and listen to that episode. But

there are a few common reasons why most people feel lazy. First being they have too many decisions that they need to make. And if everything in your life

make. And if everything in your life requires a decision, your brain naturally is just going to opt out. This

is analysis paralysis. It's why, you know, you can get really overwhelmed if you have a lot of emails or you have to figure out what to eat for dinner and like these very simple tasks just feel totally impossible. You probably have

totally impossible. You probably have decision fatigue and you don't even realize how many times throughout the day you're making decisions that you may not even really need to be making if you

did a little bit of like structural admin on the front end of every week.

The next reason is that you have no clear standards. So if you don't have

clear standards. So if you don't have rules for yourself, you negotiate everything. I talk about this a lot when

everything. I talk about this a lot when it comes to consumption rules and improving your SP in improving your spending because if you are someone who doesn't have like guidelines or rules around how you spend, everything you buy

is going to be a negotiation with yourself and ultimately you'll justify your way into buying something.

Negotiation is exhausting and you will justify your way out of anything. So

this applies to shopping, but it applies to pretty much everything in your life.

The next common reason people feel lazy is through emotional avoidance. So

procrastination is really what this is.

And more often than not, it's related to avoiding discomfort. Like, have you ever

avoiding discomfort. Like, have you ever had an experience where you would probably do literally anything besides go in and answer your emails and then you finally sit down and answer your

emails and you realize that, okay, that wasn't that hard. That's emotional

avoidance. like you know that answering your emails is something you don't particularly enjoy doing. So you'll do anything to avoid actually doing it when doing the emails is the only thing

that's going to make you feel better.

The next reason is dopamine dysregulation. So that's constant

dysregulation. So that's constant stimulation and constant stimulation ultimately trains your brain to resist effort. And this is obviously a huge

effort. And this is obviously a huge rampant problem in current today's society because of our phones from scrolling to background noise to never giving ourselves the space to just let

our brains sit. I also have a podcast episode about this about going a little bit more analog. So I recommend you listen to that too. And then lastly,

goals that are more abstract instead of operational. So, like let's say you go

operational. So, like let's say you go into 2026 and your New Year's resolution, which I've mentioned before, I don't really love resolutions was to

get healthier. Getting healthier is not

get healthier. Getting healthier is not necessarily like an actionable thing.

Walking for 30 minutes every morning would be a more actionable goal. So, if

you're super abstract with what you want to achieve, like I want to save money, it's probably not going to happen because you have no operation or system

to actually do that. Although, if you're following my break your budget stuff, then you do have a system because talk about that all the time. But once you understand this, discipline stops

feeling like a personality trait. like

you being lazy is not an identity and it starts feeling like a system that you can actually build and that's because it

literally is. So now I want to define

literally is. So now I want to define discipline correctly because I think that we really do need to reframe discipline as a form of self-respect and

that does change how you look at it.

Discipline is literally doing what you said you would do even when it's inconvenient because you respect yourself enough to keep your word and you know that it will make your life

better or easier or whatever it is that's important to you. That's it. It's

not a punishment. It's not a grind culture and it's not becoming someone else. Self-respect shows up as keeping

else. Self-respect shows up as keeping promises to yourself. You said you're going to do something so you need to go do it. An example of this in my own life

do it. An example of this in my own life is I want to stop scrolling and I want to create silent blocks in my day. So to

do that, I got a brick because I know myself well enough that motivation isn't going to be enough to keep me from scrolling. Maybe it'll work for the

scrolling. Maybe it'll work for the first couple of days, but eventually I'm going to give in. So, with the brick, I made a conscious decision to say, I'm going to block myself from these apps,

and I'm going to quite literally train myself and develop the skill to put my phone down and to refocus my attention.

That's how I keep the promise to myself because what it does is it creates conditions where I will ultimately succeed, which is really my next point.

Creating conditions where you succeed means that you're creating routines.

You're focusing on life, admin, and maintenance, and you're creating an environment where you can thrive.

Another thing that I get asked about a lot is like how I keep my space so clean and organized. It's because I can't

and organized. It's because I can't exist in a space that isn't this way.

So, I have the discipline to make sure I make my bed, I clean up after myself, I keep my desk organized, I, you know, organize my blankets and whatnot on my couch, I fluff my pillows because that

creates an environment that I spend a lot of time in where I can succeed with building and growing my business. I

could not work from home if my space was a disaster. And lastly here,

a disaster. And lastly here, self-respect shows up as not constantly betraying your own intentions. So, every

time that you say, "I'll do it tomorrow," which is something I do more often than I'd like to admit. And then

ultimately, you don't actually do it tomorrow, you're teaching yourself that your word doesn't actually matter. This

erodess your confidence and it makes it even harder to show up after yourself because it's kind of like what's the point? So, every time you follow

point? So, every time you follow through, even if it's totally imperfect, you build trust with yourself. It's a

daily practice and something that requires constant work. It can't be fixed in you know one overnight.

Disciplined people are not necessarily people who are exceptionally you know fantastic or more motivated or anything but they do have a lot of self-respect whether that self-respect is innate

which for some people it is or developed which I think for most of us it takes time you know being an adult to kind of learn enough about yourself and develop that sense of self-respect and they know

that when they show up for themselves through habits routines boundaries whatever their lives will get infinitely better. A great example of this is

better. A great example of this is actually a creator, her name is Becca Himworth, and she often makes videos about her 5 a.m. morning routine where she talks about how she gets up so early

because her most common question is like, "How do you stay motivated to do this?" And her response is always the

this?" And her response is always the same. Like, no matter what, no matter

same. Like, no matter what, no matter how good my night routine is the night before, no matter how early I go to bed, it's always hard to get up, but I always

feel infinitely better when I do. That

is literally self-respect in action.

It's choosing to show up for herself every single day, even though it feels hard in that moment or it feels uncomfortable when the alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. and you have to get up to go

5:00 a.m. and you have to get up to go to a workout. She knows that when she goes through this routine, she's gonna feel better afterwards and she's gonna have a better day because of it. That is

literally the definition of discipline and self-respect.

This is why motivation isn't usually enough to become discipline. Motivation

is what gives you the momentum to get started, but it's never going to carry you through on the days that feel really hard or really tough. Motivation is in

my opinion unreliable. Systems are not.

I mentioned this last week. You don't

rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. It's from the book Atomic Habits, which you should absolutely read or listen to on audio if you haven't yet. If you are

waiting to feel motivated, you are outsourcing your progress to your mood of the day. And your mood is going to change all the time. Like literally, I feel like I'm in a different mood every

single day. If you watch my Instagram

single day. If you watch my Instagram stories, you probably figured that out.

Disciplined people do not ask, "Do I feel like it?" They ask, "What is the plan?" And this is why structure matters

plan?" And this is why structure matters so much. It's why I feel like I always

so much. It's why I feel like I always default to to-do list and checklist and structure and why I try to create so much structure in my day, even though technically I don't need to. Because

without that structure, you're kind of just floating in the abyss and it becomes really hard to stay on track towards your goals, especially when your motivation es and flows, which is

totally normal. Like I think having a

totally normal. Like I think having a few days of being motivated and then feeling a little bit tired or burnt out is a normal experience. But when you

associate motivation as like a personality trait and losing that motivation as being lazy, it just completely warps your self-identity. And

I feel like it just makes everything so much harder. So if you want to become

much harder. So if you want to become more disciplined, your first job is not to try harder. It's to start designing your life so discipline is easier. So

structure, what it does is it removes friction, it reduces decision-m and it protects your energy. So, let's talk about how you can actually start doing

this. This is the more practical part of

this. This is the more practical part of the episode because, as I've said, most people aren't really lazy, but I do think they're lazy adjacent, which is

different to me. This is having pure intentions to become more disciplined, but you struggle with the actual implementation of making these changes

over a long period of time. So, I have a few tips here on how you can actually fix that. The first tip is to lower

fix that. The first tip is to lower what's called activation energy. So, if

something feels really hard to start, you're going to avoid it. That's normal.

So, you need to make starting easier.

So, an example of this would be, let's say you want to do morning workouts going forward. Laying things out the

going forward. Laying things out the night before would be an example of reducing activation energy. And so I used to do this actually when I was working my 9-to-f5 many years ago

precoid. I lived in Boston. This was

precoid. I lived in Boston. This was

when we were in the office 5 days a week. I would go on a run every single

week. I would go on a run every single morning at 6:00 a.m. And then I would have about 45 minutes to shower and get ready for the day. And I lived in an apartment with three other girls. We had

one bathroom. So like our bathroom time was scheduled. So I had to be rigid with

was scheduled. So I had to be rigid with my schedule and execute things on time.

So, what I did was every night before I went to bed, I laid everything out. I

laid out my workout clothes on my bureau. I picked out my work outfit so

bureau. I picked out my work outfit so that I knew exactly what I was going to have to wear and I didn't have to waste time in my precious getting ready time that was already pretty slim throwing clothes around and figuring out what to

wear. I would prep and pack my lunch,

wear. I would prep and pack my lunch, put it all together, and stick it in the fridge. So, when I was done getting

fridge. So, when I was done getting ready and heading out the door, I could just grab it and leave. I didn't have to think about anything. And then I would prep my coffee. So when I got out of the

shower, I could hit go, my coffee would brew. I used a percolator at the time.

brew. I used a percolator at the time.

And within five minutes, my coffee was ready. I wasn't wasting any time. It was

ready. I wasn't wasting any time. It was

all taken care of the night before. And

as a result, the next morning was seamless. It was like a dance. I didn't

seamless. It was like a dance. I didn't

have to think about anything besides going through the steps of my routine.

So, if having a more structured routine or integrating working out into your morning is a goal, you have to start the night before by not even just going to

bed earlier, but removing the friction of the steps in order to actually make getting to that workout and still getting where you need to go for the day done in on time.

Another tip here would be to break your tasks that you need to do down into embarrassingly small steps. So, an

example of this that I, you know, practice and implement a lot is just brain dumping, which is pretty simple. I

do this on Sundays when I'm mapping out my week or anytime I'm feeling really overwhelmed. I'll literally pull out my

overwhelmed. I'll literally pull out my notebook. I have it right here,

notebook. I have it right here, actually, and I will just write down all of the like jumbled up tasks in my head that have been hanging over me that are clouding my ability to start getting

things done or take action. I list out everything I'm going to do and everything that I need to do in order to actually check things off. So, like

let's say, okay, I need to record to a YouTube video. So, what needs to

YouTube video. So, what needs to actually happen for me to do those things? I need to script the video. I

things? I need to script the video. I

need to take a shower. I need to put some makeup on. I need to brush my hair.

I need to pull out and charge my mic. I

need to make sure that I'm doing it during a day during the time of day where there's good enough lighting. like

there's so many little minute decisions that go into one broader decision and it feels really hard sometimes to get the ball rolling. So listing out those

ball rolling. So listing out those individual teeny little tasks makes such a difference when it comes to organizing your brain and actually kicking things

off. Sometimes when you're overwhelmed,

off. Sometimes when you're overwhelmed, the act of getting everything out is all it takes to take the first step. You

don't need more willpower to do this.

You just need to reduce again the decision fatigue which I think is just the broader theme of a lot of my episodes lately.

Next here when we're thinking about how to stop being lazy adjacent is to start setting non-negotiable minimums for your day. So discipline is

something that really thrives on setting standards. This means that on the daily,

standards. This means that on the daily, you need to have a few minimum non-negotiables that you must do. For

me, this is an hour of deep work where I'm completely unplugged from my phone.

I like to do this in the mornings, but depending on my schedule, sometimes it happens a little bit later in the day.

Also, sometimes in the mornings I'm feeling a little bit like jumbled up or tired or whatever. So, I'll save my like completely uninterrupted time for a little bit later when I'm a little bit

more in the groove. But I do do at least one hour of deep work every day. Next,

my next minimum is 10,000 steps. Without

fail, I will always 110% get my 10,000 steps in. And then my skincare routine

steps in. And then my skincare routine and making my bed. Those are the baselines of my entire day. And I always try to obviously aim higher, but I

minimally stick to this because I know that I'll feel my best when I do these four things. If I hit these things, my

four things. If I hit these things, my day is a success no matter what. So, I

want you to think about what your minimum things are every day. I'd

actually love to hear them. If you want to share them, leave a comment. Because

when you're aiming to have a perfect day every day, like you're not setting yourself up for success. So, it could be a simple routine, like maybe your daily

minimum is just executing on your morning routine, or it could be a menu of things throughout the day, similar to me. Like mine kind of span the full day.

me. Like mine kind of span the full day.

they're not just concentrated on my morning. It totally though can be

morning. It totally though can be different depending on who you are, how you live your life, what's important to you, what your goals are, etc. But really, at the end of the day, consistency beats intensity. So being

consistent with just a minimum for two weeks is enough to really start getting the ball rolling and show yourself that you can be disciplined. And then you just build on that over time.

Next, when it comes to becoming lazy adjacent or no longer being lazy adjacent, you need to start thinking about creating rules, not moods. So,

rules eliminate the mental negotiation.

And your brain will always default to comfort, which is generally not a disciplined state. And again, that's

disciplined state. And again, that's normal. That's why I always say if you

normal. That's why I always say if you are someone who is trying to reach financial goals and you're not tracking your expenses, you are spending more money than you think. And it's because

your brain defaults to comfort. So you

will subconsciously, whether you're aware of it or not, ignore money that you're actually spending because you don't want to admit to yourself what you're buying, what you're spending on.

Like it's a very normal, habitual, human thing to do. There's nothing wrong with it. It's not a character flaw, but it is

it. It's not a character flaw, but it is something you have to acknowledge if you want to change the behavior. So rules

really help with setting like a minimum standard that you stick to. Examples

would be I work out before I check my phone. This is one for me like I get up

phone. This is one for me like I get up I don't work out before I check my phone but I get up and I go through a little morning routine before I check my phone and I stick to this because my phone is

bricked. That's like you know the

bricked. That's like you know the activation energy of it all and I've removed the friction and the motivation.

Another example would be I plan my week every Sunday. This is another thing that

every Sunday. This is another thing that I do. Um, I have a vlog about this on my

I do. Um, I have a vlog about this on my YouTube channel. Next is I don't decide

YouTube channel. Next is I don't decide what to eat when I'm already hungry.

Another thing I don't do because I plan out my meals at the top of the week. A

few of my other personal rules are I don't check my phone first thing in the morning. I walk 10,000 steps every day

morning. I walk 10,000 steps every day no matter what. And I don't go to bed until my kitchen is clean. Rules help

conserve your energy. They turn

discipline into your default behavior.

And default behaviors ultimately just become part of your lifestyle. So think

about it like you probably wake up every morning and you brush your teeth and you're not even thinking about it. You

want your habits and rituals to be at the same caliber of brushing your teeth.

Like you're not going to skip a day of brushing your teeth. Why? Because that's

gross. Like why would you do that? Same

as like you're not going to skip a day of getting your steps in. you're not

going to skip a day of making your bed and picking up your kitchen. Like those

are minimums that you have to set again based off of your own life and preferences and they just become your default. I can't remember the last time

default. I can't remember the last time I didn't make my bed. Like I make my bed every my day doesn't start until my day is until my bed is made.

Moving on. And this is the last thing to do to stop being lazy adjacent is to respect your nervous system. If you are someone who is constantly overstimulated, discipline is going to

feel absolutely impossible because focus requires regulation. And regulation

requires regulation. And regulation comes from having moments of silence where you can like fully center yourself. So if you're anything like me,

yourself. So if you're anything like me, you have probably spent many days and potentially weeks of your life over the last couple of years glued to your phone or constantly stimulated with podcasts

or music in the background of everything. And this makes it infinitely

everything. And this makes it infinitely harder to focus and get anything done.

So, how do you reduce over stimulation?

First is by less multitasking. So, I

mitigate this with a clear to-do list.

That's like my number number one. And I

also have themed days for work. Again, I

talked about this last week in the life admin episode. I also aim to focus on

admin episode. I also aim to focus on just one thing at a time. So, like if I'm doing my skincare, I'm doing my skincare. I'm not scrolling. I'm not

skincare. I'm not scrolling. I'm not

listening to anything. I'm just going through the steps and getting it done. I

don't need background noise. If I'm

scripting a podcast or a YouTube video, I don't need a video playing in the background. I don't need to be on my

background. I don't need to be on my phone simultaneously. Like all of this

phone simultaneously. Like all of this background noise slows you down and it makes it feel like you can't focus on anything. So like when I'm trying to get

anything. So like when I'm trying to get in the zone for work, my phone is bricked and it's out of sight. It's in a drawer. It's in my bedroom. just not

drawer. It's in my bedroom. just not

anywhere near me where I'm even tempted to pick it up because I know the second that I pick it up, I'm now going to get into multitasking mode and that is not it's just not efficient and it's not a

good use of my time or my brain energy.

Next here would be having less dopamine hits throughout the day. So, this means less scrolling in general, which I think we can all collectively agree is kind of a goal, but specifically when bookending

your days, I think this is really important. So, I don't touch my phone

important. So, I don't touch my phone anymore until usually 10:00 a.m. And

around 8:00 every night, I'm also bricking it so that it's completely out of my ether and I'm just like focused on whatever it is I'm doing at that time.

And then lastly, here we have more silence in space. I don't fear boredom anymore. I feel like I went through

anymore. I feel like I went through periods of time where it was like, oh, if I don't have any plans or anything to do, like that's a bad thing. Now, I kind of embrace being bored. I actually enjoy

it. Maybe that's just a factor of

it. Maybe that's just a factor of getting older, but I'm totally fine to just let my brain sit. Even throughout

the day, like if I hit a lull in my day or I'm feeling like I'm not able to focus, I'm probably overstimulated and I need to default back to being a little bit bored. So, I'll literally just sit

bit bored. So, I'll literally just sit there. Like, I'll put my phone away.

there. Like, I'll put my phone away.

I'll turn my computer down. I'll sit in silence. I'll close my eyes. I'll do

silence. I'll close my eyes. I'll do

some box breathing, which is what my therapist has taught me to do. And I

will literally try to just reactivate.

by allowing the volume and the temperature in my head to come down.

This is a very difficult thing to do. I

still struggle with it, but I'm actively and consciously making the decision to work on it because it does get easier over time. I can confirm. And it's

over time. I can confirm. And it's

something that helps you incorporate and build more discipline into your day because again, if you're overstimulated, everything feels so much harder. One of

the biggest myths about discipline, I think, is that some people are just naturally focused, which for most of us is not true. At least we've maybe we

were born with an attention span and life degrades that just through how we exist as people in current day. Focus

though is really something. It's not

something that you either have or don't have. It's not something that like, oh,

have. It's not something that like, oh, I have it and you don't. It's a skill that in the same way it's degraded by how we live. It's also shaped by how we

live. How we structure our time and what

live. How we structure our time and what you allow to access your attention. I

think another layer of how to think about discipline beyond just self-respect is like what access are you giving other external things to you? And

that sort of changes the way you look at it. If you feel like you can't

it. If you feel like you can't concentrate or you can't sit still or you can't stay on task, it doesn't mean that you are broken or again lazy in any

way. It usually means your attention has

way. It usually means your attention has been fragmented for a long time because again our phones are quite literally ruining our attention span and our

ability to pay attention because we live in an environment that rewards distraction. It's so funny because I

distraction. It's so funny because I feel like and if you are I'll say like over the age of 29. So you know you existed in the working world for or

maybe 28. you existed in the working

maybe 28. you existed in the working world where you were in the office five days a week before co I feel like we can all collectively agree that like it

didn't used to be this way. I genuinely

believe that co and the assimilation of Tik Tok into our culture has made it absolutely impossible to pay attention.

Like I used to go to work and be able to focus all day long. like and I was ne I was never on TikTok until the middle of COVID. Like it was not something that I

COVID. Like it was not something that I struggled with. And now it's almost like

struggled with. And now it's almost like I'm completely unable to focus for long periods of time. And I really don't like that cuz when you think about it, like

we're constantly inundated with notifications. Like now I'm someone my

notifications. Like now I'm someone my phone is on do not disturb 24/7. I don't

allow any notifications to pop up on my phone ever. like ever, ever, ever

phone ever. like ever, ever, ever because I'm not allowing something to draw my attention. I need to choose to go into my phone. Background noise. This

is another thing I'm eliminating from my life. Constant input. Over time, what

life. Constant input. Over time, what happens is our brains adapt to that super high pace and expectation of dopamine. It starts expecting novelty

dopamine. It starts expecting novelty every couple of seconds. And so when you sit down to do something that requires sustained effort, it feels really

difficult and really uncomfortable immediately. And that discomfort is not

immediately. And that discomfort is not a sign that you should stop. It's a sign that your brain is out of practice. And

I say this because I really want to emphasize that it is something you can train and retrain just like a muscle.

Focus comes from containment and from giving your time edges. It's why I also like to really time block a lot of my tasks or my work blocks in general. Like

for example, last year in April, I went on a business retreat with a couple of my friends down in Austin, Texas, and we

had I want to say two or three 2hour focus work blocks where we all co-worked together, but we were working on different things, but it was like a two-hour sprint. the amount of time I

two-hour sprint. the amount of time I felt like I had in my day because I was able to contain my work blocks. It

completely reshaped now I literally structure my day by work blocks. It

totally reshaped the way that I view getting things done because you will expand in the same way you expand to the space that you have. That's why I like a small space. You will your tasks will

small space. You will your tasks will expand to the time you give them. So if

you give yourself 10 minutes, you'll get it done. If you give yourself two hours,

it done. If you give yourself two hours, it'll take you two hours to do it. Like

having those edges is essential. When

everything is open-ended, your mind has too much space to wander and there's too much room to get distracted. When your

work has a clear beginning and a clear end or a clear timeline, your brain can settle into a better flow and you ultimately get significantly more done.

I think this too is why disciplined people don't try to focus all day long.

And it's because it's really not possible. They work in defined blocks.

possible. They work in defined blocks.

This is why I now work in defined blocks. They decide in advance when

blocks. They decide in advance when they're working and when they're not.

And in those on periods, they're on. And

in the off periods, they're off. I know

with a traditional like 9 toive day job, that can be challenging. But even if you can fragment your days or cluster your meetings or something or you know

dedicate one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening for focus work, it can completely change the way and the time it takes to get things done.

Another important layer of improving your focus here too is removing obvious distractions instead of trying to test your willpower. So if your phone is next

your willpower. So if your phone is next to you, you're not weak for wanting to check it. Discipline is not about

check it. Discipline is not about constantly resisting temptation. It's

about designing your environment so temptation has less access to you. So

that's why I put my phone in a drawer or I put my phone in a different room or I brick my phone. Like I want to even remove the temptation in the habit of grabbing it because half the time you

grab and reach for your phone, you don't even want it. It's just literally a habitual thing that we've now trained ourselves to do. If you want to rebuild your focus, you have to start smaller

than you think you need to. So that

could be like 10 or 20 minutes of real uninterrupted work or five minutes of silence. I bet you like if I challenged

silence. I bet you like if I challenged you to just sit in set a timer on your phone and sit down in silence without touching your phone without listening to

anything for 5 minutes it would likely feel like a literal eternity. Um, so you need to start small because ultimately

focus compounds and even a few minutes of uninterrupted work or uninterrupted silence is a lot more powerful than hours of scattered effort. And the more

you practice it, the easier it becomes not only to do it, but also to return to it. Like you will crave those focused

it. Like you will crave those focused blocks in the same way that you train yourself to crave scrolling on your phone.

The last layer of this that I want to really touch on is productivity that will actually move your life forward because I think this is where a lot of

people get stuck. And it's because productivity is often confused with just activity. Being busy, constantly having

activity. Being busy, constantly having a full calendar, checking boxes off does not necessarily equate to being productive. And I don't understand why

productive. And I don't understand why we glorify being busy. I personally hate being busy. My life goal is to have more

being busy. My life goal is to have more time, free time. I don't want to be busy. I want to have the least amount of

busy. I want to have the least amount of commitments on my calendar so I can enrich my life in the ways that I personally choose and want to. Being

productive is not synonymous with doing more. It means you're doing the right

more. It means you're doing the right things consistently. So if you look at

things consistently. So if you look at some of the most productive people in the world, at least for example, to me, one of them is Justin Welsh. He has

optimized his business in his day in a way where he earns, but he's not scaling to a point of being burnt out, 110% booked. He's found his sweet spot in his

booked. He's found his sweet spot in his work life balance or what he calls life work balance, what he needs to do, and then he otherwise enjoys his life. And

to me, that's the ultimate goal when I think about discipline and productivity.

I don't want to have an overoptimized life. I don't want to be booked and

life. I don't want to be booked and busy. I don't need to be the most

busy. I don't need to be the most successful person ever. I want to strike the balance between I'm working and doing something that's meaningful to me that allows me to make a living and in

the rest of my time I'm actually like doing things that I truly care about that enrich me that don't have anything to do with making money. Like that's the

dream. Do I need to be flying a private

dream. Do I need to be flying a private jet to Europe? No, I don't want to do that. like I just want to be regulated

that. like I just want to be regulated and chill, you know, and not over stimulated 100% of the time. Lazy

adjacent behavior often shows up as avoidance disguised as productivity. So,

for example, you need to again clear out your email inbox or make an appointment or do something like the one activity or the one task that's actually going to move the needle. But instead of doing

that, you end up deep cleaning your whole apartment, reorganizing your closet researching planning and booking a new vacation, doing everything you could possibly do besides the one

thing you actually need to do. This is

lazy adjacent behavior. You're not

necessarily lazy, but you're not doing the thing that's actually going to improve your life or move the needle.

True discipline requires honesty about what actually matters. So if you look at your goals and then you look at your days, they should match. This is

something that requires again constant attention. It's something that I'm

attention. It's something that I'm constantly looking at, particularly given that I have a business.

If they don't, something is off. Either

the goal isn't real or your actions aren't aligned. I definitely struggle

aren't aligned. I definitely struggle with this. Like I said, it's something

with this. Like I said, it's something that I'm working on. I have so many goals and so many things I want to accomplish both in my business but also in my personal life and a lot of times I

get lost in the busy work that I don't end up actually giving myself the time to move the needle forward on new projects or new things that I want to

do. And it is a big goal of mine this

do. And it is a big goal of mine this year to really start honing down my focus so I can start introducing improvements and new pillars to my business. And I know that this is going

business. And I know that this is going to be an iterative process. So an

example of this is I have made it a big focus of mine to improve the podcast.

But there are elements of that that I wanted to change. I wanted to reshape the structure. I wanted to get a bit a

the structure. I wanted to get a bit a little bit more clear and defined on the topics. I wanted to redo my intro. I

topics. I wanted to redo my intro. I

wanted to make them more valuable, if that makes sense. And so I'm iteratively making those changes, right? Like I

updated my cover art. I updated my um little intro. I'm working on refining my

little intro. I'm working on refining my scripts and refining my planning and thinking about how to bucket my topic so that they're things you want to learn about but also things I want to talk

about and they're valuable things that help people. Like that would just be an

help people. Like that would just be an example of focusing on needle needle moving tasks instead of like the minutia

of busy work. Something that highly disciplined people do is they also simplify aggressively. So they think

simplify aggressively. So they think about the few things that actually matter and do those things first and everything else becomes secondary. The

goal isn't to optimize everything at once. It's to focus on small progress,

once. It's to focus on small progress, not perfection. Again, that's why I

not perfection. Again, that's why I bring up the iteration with the podcast.

Like small changes over time are much more meaningful than doing nothing, not making the changes because you are emotionally disregulated and over stimulated and can't think for a long

enough period of time to actually lay out what you need to do.

Another key shift is separating effort from outcome. So you can't control

from outcome. So you can't control results in the short term, but you can control your behaviors. And discipline

really does live in behavior. showing

up, practicing, executing, repeating. So

when you focus on behaviors first instead of outcomes, that's systems instead of goals, productivity becomes less emotional and you stop asking, is

this working yet? And then you start asking, did I do what I said I would do today? Big difference. Okay, that shift

today? Big difference. Okay, that shift alone removes the pressure in your life.

Productivity that moves your life forward doesn't feel like a whole big thing. It actually feels pretty boring.

thing. It actually feels pretty boring.

It's less frantic. It's less reactive.

It's not about squeezing more into your day. It's about removing the things that

day. It's about removing the things that don't matter so your energy can go where it counts. I feel like this is such a

it counts. I feel like this is such a transferable lesson to everything. I

talk about spending values, your financials, everything. It's stop doing

financials, everything. It's stop doing the that doesn't matter and start focusing all of your attention, all of your energy, all of your money on the things that are most important to you.

When discipline is rooted in self-respect, productivity stops being about proving something or like showing people how much you do or how busy you are and it starts being about building

something like building a life that you actually enjoy in your quiet moments instead of a life that looks really great and flashy from the outside that you hate. And that I feel like is when

you hate. And that I feel like is when progress really starts to get moving.

So, I'm going to wrap this up and I want to end with this and it's that the goal is not to become hyperproductive or

obsessed with diligent output. It's to

become somebody that you trust. This is

something that I've been really working on too in therapy with my OCD. Like a

lot of OCD is rooted in reassurance. And

in order to overcome that, you have to learn how to trust yourself in your actions, in your thoughts, instead of constantly seeking reassurance. So

there's a layer of discipline involved in that. It really boils down to

in that. It really boils down to becoming and proving to yourself that you are someone who follows through. You

respect your time, you honor your goals, and you don't abandon yourself and abandon what you need when things are uncomfortable. It's not about becoming

uncomfortable. It's not about becoming harsh, but it's more about becoming reliable. So ultimately,

reliable. So ultimately, I hope you are feeling inspired to not only become more disciplined, but just approach it in a different way. Again,

it shouldn't really be about rigidity.

It really boils down to respecting yourself and keeping the promises to yourself that you said you're going to do. As always, if you enjoyed this

do. As always, if you enjoyed this episode, I would love to hear from you.

Make sure you subscribe to my Substack if you want more and I will catch you in the next one. Thanks so much for listening.