31岁人生觉醒：我走了10年弯路才明白的事情，希望你现在就能知道

This video I may not do a lot of editing.

I want to sit down quietly and chat with you.

I want to share with you and now thirty-one years old, some very important insights and share them with you.

That is, Why did I think of making this video?

Because last month, I just celebrated my thirty-first birthday.

Although in my heart, I feel like I'm still in my twenties, but my actual age is indeed in my early thirties.

Of course, many times, age is just a number.

But what is very precious is that we learn and grow with time and experiences.

what we have learned and grown.

And now if I look back, from my twenties to thirties, I feel like I'm gradually waking up.

I didn't understand many things before, and things that I was confused about before, now I feel that I seem to have gradually found some direction.

And then, I can increasingly hear my inner voice.

and what the truly important things are.

Uh. and how to face some setbacks in life.

and how to live a good life.

So today, I want to take this opportunity I want to share with you some important insights some important insights to share with you.

These are all things that I hoped to understand I hoped I could understand earlier.

当 This video is not just for those in their twenties.

some friends.

I think everyone's life rhythm is different.

Maybe you are like me now, in your thirties, forties, or fifties, It doesn't matter.

What matters is that we at the stage of our lives, what we have learned.

Everyone may be different.

Anyway, today I share these thoughts with you.

I hope that some of my thoughts can bring you some useful information.

Now, when I think back to my twenties, I was always in school.

So I think at that time, I didn't seem to have much thought about life.

Of course, at that time, I thought I had some thoughts and ideas.

and some ideas.

But now looking back, I can see many things more clearly.

Because I found that many of my decisions at that time were all because I wanted others to think I was a decent person.

I had a decent job, and a decent career.

and a decent major.

And then, and decent income.

Many things were actually driven by these.

For example, I chose to study finance at that time, I thought it seemed that it seemed to be a very decent major.

And then, when I decided to pursue a graduate degree, I thought it would make my education level high.

and I might earn more money in the future.

These series of life plans and a series of life decisions are actually all determined by this thing whether it will be considered very decent in others' eyes whether it can help me make money.

I think this is probably the criteria for my decision-making at that time.

But until I started working, I realized a truth.

no matter how good your job or how glamorous your appearance looks, or beautiful, but your inner feelings, your inner happiness, only you can know.

people outside may envy your life and may think you are excellent, but the feeling of happiness in life is from within.

So when you cater to some external standards, or your family, your friends, and the society, and the judgment standards imposed on you, and make choices to cater to these things, they may not necessarily bring you a happy feeling.

So, I gradually discovered that in fact, in one's life, the most important thing is inner peace.

Well, what others think is good, and others think it is success, and happiness, But if for you, it can't bring you any inner peace, or happiness, Pursuing these things it's actually futile.

For example, I once pursued a good job, Later, when I wanted to start a business, I thought I needed to earn a lot of money.

But now I find that when you can really earn money by yourself and then and live a good life, you will feel that if doing this thing doesn't bring you any inner satisfaction and a sense of value realization, actually, it cannot bring you deeper happiness and peace.

Maybe after you earn money now, Yes.

you will be excited for a day or two, But this excitement will actually disappear quickly.

Now I think I do.

because I'm making videos, I'm passing on some value to help others.

I think this process makes me feel very happy.

Because I'm creating positive positive and positive things.

I think the value that this thing brings to me is very great.

Sometimes, Value is not just measured by money.

It often is reflected in a sense of self-realization and happiness in your life.

I think this is very important to me.

When I was in my twenties, I didn't understand these truths at that time.

and then I gradually realized that how much money you earn is not important.

but inner peace is actually the most important.

If if you get some money, but what it brings to you only brings you short-term material satisfaction, and it cannot bring you any positive spiritual feedback.

I think it's more like a cage.

you're just trapped in another cage.

But of course, I think many things you need to experience and you have to pursue them, to find out what is truly important.

before you can, uh, own it.

and then you can learn to let go.

Just like I recently watched Hei Se Hui's Xi Da Duo.

There is a very classic passage in it that is I obey the arrangement of my soul and body 去经历罪孽 to experience sin, 追逐肉欲和财富 chasing lust and wealth, and indulge in vanity. 沉溺虚荣

以陷入最羞耻的绝望 You fall into the most shameful despair.

以学会放弃挣扎 You learn to give up struggling 学会热爱世界 and learn to love the world.

我不再将这个世界与我期待的 I no longer compare this world to the 塑造的圆满世界比照 or the perfect world I've shaped.

而是接受这个世界 but accept the world 爱它属于它...... and love it as it is.

爱它属于它...... and love it as it is.

——黑塞《悉达多》 So many times, we must go through some things.

After getting something, you will find out what's going on.

you will know how to let go, and understand what is truly important.

and then you will find your own path.

所以 I think many things Yes. are actually a path that our fate must go through.

Yes. are actually a path that our fate must go through.

And then when you experience it, you will find out what is really important.

what can really make you find inner peace.

what is it?

As far as my current experience is concerned, I think for me, inner peace is the most important thing.

Earning money or becoming a millionaire, These things that I once pursued but now I think I just let everything go with the flow.

Then, as long as I can feel I can feel my own inner happiness and joy, that is the most important.

In recent years, I began to deeply feel that I think many of us we have been non-stop we want to quickly reach the goals we set for ourselves, and reach the ideal and dream state of our lives.

But in fact, what constitutes our life are all the scenery along the way.

Whether it's our struggles, our tears, our happiness, It's life.

It's birth, death separation and getting together, all these every day and every moment.

and every bit.

It is what makes up our complete life.

However, most of us are in a hurry to rush.

chasing one goal after another we set for ourselves.

When we reach this goal, we will be happy for a day or two, and then rush to the next goal.

and the next dream.

I think we will lose a lot valuable experiences and feelings in life.

Because most of the time, maybe eighty percent of our lives we don't focus our attention or our eyes on the moment in front of us.

In many people's minds, or fantasizing about the future, or indulging in the past.

But we rarely focus our attention to the present moment and focus on everything we can feel at this moment.

our environment, the people around us who love us, and the feelings we are experiencing inside.

experiencing some feelings.

whether good or bad.

I think few people will quietly devote themselves focus and observe the present moment things that we can perceive.

Because life every moment is composed of every moment.

We want to gain many things in the future, but we really rarely to feel and experience the moment.

So we may have lived for decades, but we have been living in our own minds a fantasy scene or a realm.

but we are never really present.

to truly feel the power of life to feel your own life in this world and everything you can experience.

So I think it's a pity.

Because only when you can feel the present moment, can you feel your own life and feel the miracle.

Then you can truly find inner peace and tranquility.

Another very important realization is that is this thing is also something that changed my life.

I think people really need to learn throughout their lives.

Because I went to school from childhood until twenty-six.

I think I really studied for many years.

When I was in school, I thought I was a relatively hardworking person.

But my efforts was not because I really wanted to study hard, but for very worldly goals.

such as I want to be a good student so that teachers and parents, and people around me would think I was excellent.

And I also think that if I can a good education, and have a very good grade, then I can find a good job.

and my income can increase.

In fact, my motivation to study comes from these external expectations and goals, So, After I finally finished studying for so long, and finally graduated, I thought, wow, can I now take a good rest and take a good rest.

After finding a good job, I can lie flat.

I can quietly enjoy life.

But later I found that it wasn't like that.

So, in the first or two years after graduation, I was in a state of lying flat.

I um I didn't want to study.

I didn't know what to learn.

or what I like.

And then, like most numb people, I went to work.

After work, I I just watch my phone.

go out shopping with friends, drink coffee, doing things that don't really make my life and my soul that don't allow me to grow.

So um at that time, my life began to fall into some confusion and some dilemmas.

I vaguely felt that that this kind of life was not what I expected.

Although this life is stable and this life is very stress-free, But I felt that I couldn't feel the meaning of life.

I couldn't find the kind of satisfaction and self-realization.

Many times, my heart felt very empty.

But at that time, didn't know how to solve this problem.

Because um I think when most of us were in school, schools didn't teach us how to live a good life.

and didn't teach us teach us how to discover ourselves, and how to explore ourselves.

And what we learn are actually a set of very assembly-line things.

The purpose is to let us after graduating, we can enter the society and be a screw.

In fact, I think school is just like this.

just a process on the assembly line.

So after I finished school, I didn't have much knowledge about I didn't have much knowledge.

and I didn't know how to solve problems and how to live a good life.

And it was also at that time I really felt that God was helping me.

At that time, I had the habit of watching YouTube.

and then I saw a video.

The blogger he would recommend some books for you to read, and tell you to develop the habit of reading.

So after watching that video that day, I suddenly felt that I seemed to have a little bit of understanding.

I found a book he recommended, which I've told you before, Rich Dad Poor Dad.

At that time, because my own life was stuck at that time, it was the problem of working.

Because I felt that although I was working, Although it was stable, I really felt trapped.

and I couldn't feel the meaning of life.

After reading that book, I felt wow, life is like this.

we don't have to live like this.

In fact, we have many choices.

we have many paths to choose from.

But in our more than twenty years of education system, the whole society instills in you that you can only go this way.

If you choose other paths, it may be a very risky thing.

maybe you will not be accepted by society.

and people around you will judge you judge you.

And then I felt I shouldn't have chosen another path.

But after reading that book, I felt like I suddenly woke up.

and then I started to feel that I should explore another path.

and I want to try it.

So this is, uh, learning brought me a very big change.

And then in the following time, I also gradually develop the habit of learning.

I started to read again and start learning online again.

and find some learning videos.

Because I think that we all only have twenty-four hours.

But how you use this time is very important.

For some people, spend all their spare time on things that don't help them grow.

then their life may be doomed to be trapped in that which he may not feel very comfortable.

If some people use all the time they can, to enrich themselves, to enrich themselves, to enrich himself, and gradually open up their minds and open up their worldview, then his life path will be very broad.

The things he has accumulated gradually will also make him a person have a very rich understanding of the world.

And when making choices, and tend to make more correct choices.

such a person.

So I think keeping learning is really important.

And this thing has really changed my life.

And I think in our lives, we will face many so-called problems. Whether it's work-related, or emotional, or health-related, or family relationships, In many aspects of life, as long as you are a person, we will encounter various problems. I think keeping learning

and keep ourselves and inputting things from different fields, and different viewpoints will help us deal with problems more correctly.

And when we face in our lives when we encounter these problems, we will have a better and more neutral and objective thinking and attitude to face all the things that appear in our lives.

So I think lifelong learning and keeping learning is a habit that can change our lives.

I also highly recommend that everyone to do the same thing.

If you don't have it now, I also have another realization that lifelong learning is not just about learning from books or some learning in terms of skills.

I think when we face some challenges in life, and some tests, it is also an opportunity for us to learn.

Because everything that happens there are both good and bad sides.

When the bad thing has already happened, since sadness and grief are useless, Instead of wasting your energy and energy on making ourselves sad, and consume ourselves, focusing on the negative things, it's better to let yourself discover the positive side of this thing.

is that we can learn from this thing what we can learn from it.

what message it wants to bring to us.

If we can learn something from these things, learn something from them, I think we will gradually become wiser.

Then, and our inner core will become stronger and stronger.

Uh-huh.

And then there is a very important may have nothing to do with the previous ones, that is, we must cultivate our subjectivity.

learn to love yourself, enrich ourselves, and see your unique value.

Instead of just trying to fit in and please others, and be led by others, but it will consume yourself.

Because I see my mother, who doesn't love herself very much and has no sense of subjectivity.

Of course, she is a very kind person.

but um, I think she often does things to please others.

even if it's not what she wants to do, even if doing these things makes her feel feel uncomfortable and make herself feel sad.

But she still does it for the sake of not to hurt others' kindness, and not reject others, to do these things.

But I think now feel that her behavior is not respecting himself at all.

and he is damaging his own health.

Because I think a major reason for his cancer That is, he wants to please others too much.

and suppressed many negative things inside himself.

are suppressed within himself.

That is, he endured a lot of things himself.

So he couldn't release much energy, and couldn't relieve it.

So it largely leads to his illness.

And for myself, I think when I was in my teens and twenties, I was also a person who liked to please others.

For example, I have some friends they would, um, invite me to participate in some activities or do something.

At that time, I might go to these events.

I would feel that these things didn't really suit me.

I wasn't happy.

I couldn't get positive things from these social situations.

to be myself to get some positive things.

Just like before, I would be embarrassed to refuse.

But later I gradually realized that others don't really care about really care about your feelings.

In fact, whether you go or not, it doesn't have a big impact on them.

So, if you participate in some activities by yourself, or participate in something, you please others, and make others happy, but you yourself can't feel you can't feel any value, you can't feel any happiness or joy.

then you are actually not respecting yourself.

In the end, it will hurt and consume your own health.

emotions and time.

Because others they won't be responsible for your life.

They can say next to you you can do anything.

and let you do anything.

They don't care what impact this thing will have on you what kind of impact it will have, and what emotions you will have.

and what the consequences are.

All the choices we make and decisions and the consequences of all these things are all borne by ourselves.

So, we must first learn to respect ourselves to respect and love ourselves, Because if you don't even love yourself, there is no one else in the world will love and care for you to love yourself, and care for yourself.

Well, this is what I learned from my mother's experience and my own and my own struggles when I was younger.

and learned a very important lesson.

And finally, I want to tell you that never be afraid to make mistakes.

Many times, if you don't try, or make mistakes, you will never know which path is the right one.

Only when you experience something and what is not.

will you know what is yes.

you will know Sometimes you may be afraid of failure, so you dare not try.

something you want to try.

In fact, I think failure or success, are actually very valuable things.

Because even if this thing fails, you will find that that doing this way won't succeed.

you will know better how to do it to be successful.

Or um when you are doing this thing, you will find that Oh, this thing might be something I thought I would like and it's what I want to do.

But after you try it, you find out that that this is not the path I want to take.

Then you will know more clearly what you want to do.

and you will have a clearer understanding of yourself.

and have a clearer understanding of yourself.

I think um people are actually very vague when they are born, and have no awareness of themselves.

But through your constant attempts at many things, and in these many, many attempts, you will find out what you like and what you don't.

and which ones you don't like.

Then you gradually know which way you should go.

and what to do to be more successful.

I think it is to find your own direction in life, or find a way to succeed, there is no shortcut.

It requires you to constantly make mistakes and verify many things.

Then you will gradually you will gradually have a very clear understanding of yourself.

So I think people, especially when they are young, should really be brave enough to make mistakes, and be brave to try.

anything you want to try.

Because the cost of making mistakes is the lowest at this time.

And if you don't try more things, you will always be on the same path.

I think in this case, it will be difficult for us to see who we are.

and it's hard to discover your potential.

and you will also lose many valuable experiences.

And these are in the past ten years I've learned some very important things.

Of course, my life is still going on.

Maybe in another ten years, I will have very different ideas.

I hope my sharing today can resonate with you.

Or if you have your own very important life experiences, you are welcome to share in our comment section to benefit more people.

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Well, that's it for today.

See you next time, bye.