4 Brutal Questions That Will Wake You Up

You want to know a secret? I don't think your next breakthrough is going to come from people telling you what to do.

Everyone goes looking for answers. But

how many times you go looking for questions? When you get better

questions? When you get better questions, you naturally come up with way better answers. So, in this video, I want to show you four questions you can

use to coach yourself. And all you need is a journal, a pen, and the guts to answer some tough questions. Real quick,

if you like exercises like this and you want to turn your journal into a self- coaching machine, I just updated our My Best Journal program. More details

below. All right, this first question, we're throwing you in the deep end. I

actually got this one from Jeff Bezos back in the day. He had this great talk where he's speaking about his secret to uh going big. Uh love him or hate him, you know, Amazon's one of the biggest

companies the world has ever seen. They

started as a bookstore and now they have global domination. And from the outside,

global domination. And from the outside, like his business model didn't make sense. What? You're going into

sense. What? You're going into audiobooks? What? You're going into

audiobooks? What? You're going into cloud computing? What? You're you're

cloud computing? What? You're you're

sponsoring football game? What are you doing? He came up with something called

doing? He came up with something called the regret minimization framework where he would flash forward to him at 80 years old and make the decision from

that place. I love that. And so for you,

that place. I love that. And so for you, I call this the rocking chair test for your life. that when you are looking at

your life. that when you are looking at what you're going to do and you flash forward to yourself 80 years old, like you got no hair left, you got wrinkles,

but damn, you're smoking a cigar on your front porch thinking about life. Would

you regret not doing blank? So, question

one, the regret minimization framework.

What would you regret not doing when you're 80 years old? Let's go to question number two now. And first, I got to tell you about a guy who has one of the coolest, most badass last names.

His name is Mihi Cheek Set Mihi. All

right. He's a legendary psychologist who pioneered a concept and put words to something that I know you felt, but maybe you didn't have the words to

explain what it was. He called it flow.

Moments that you are in where you have deep challenge and also deep concentration. Moments that you felt

concentration. Moments that you felt where time passes and you lose yourself in a project. Flow states can come playing a sports, right? Like a pitcher on the mound. That's the only thing he's

thinking about. And then if something

thinking about. And then if something pops in your head that takes you out of that flow state, you know, you botch the pitch kind of thing. Flow can be when you're at work and you're, you know, that first cup of coffee and dude,

you're working for the first 2 hours just like in the zone. Now, here's

what's really cool and why I'm telling you this. They found that people at the

you this. They found that people at the end of their life that reported the biggest satisfaction like, "Yep, I crushed it. I loved life. I'm happy

crushed it. I loved life. I'm happy

reported being in the most flow states.

So, what does this mean? That those

moments of flow for you are your signposts to do more of them and pursue that. Which brings me to your next self-

that. Which brings me to your next self- coaching journaling question. What

consistently makes me lose track of time throughout this week? Pay attention to where you start losing track of time.

You know, when you're trying to lose weight, you keep a food log and you write down every single thing you're eating. So you get a week's worth, two

eating. So you get a week's worth, two weeks worth of data and you see like, oh, do more of this, eat less of this.

Same thing with flow. Keep a flow log.

And you can do this in your journal ideally, but you could also do this in your phone. I even wrote down some

your phone. I even wrote down some questions for you to track on. What made

you forget to check your phone. When did

you feel like you were in the zone? What

did you do just for fun? What are you always giving advice on without realizing it? What conversations made

realizing it? What conversations made you more energized than before? What

content are you constantly consuming and never get bored of? And lastly, what were you doing the last time you thought, I could do this all day? No

fancy app here, just something in your journal or phone and track your flow states throughout this week, but answer that coaching question. What makes you come alive? Hey, if you're digging this

come alive? Hey, if you're digging this video, two quick things. First, can you give it a thumbs up? That helps the algorithm. And second, I launched a

algorithm. And second, I launched a newsletter, Refusing to Settle, where I share ideas we don't share on YouTube and more behind the scenes, uh, that comes out every Saturday and it's 100% free with ideas that are practical that

can change your life. So, I'll link it down below. It's the first link in the

down below. It's the first link in the description. And here is the next

description. And here is the next question. This question, I want to take

question. This question, I want to take a bit of a personal angle if that's cool. So, back in my 20s, I found myself

cool. So, back in my 20s, I found myself in a long-term relationship where I knew it wasn't right. and we had been dating for over a year. And you know when something's not right, but it's

comfortable because you have the same friend circle, maybe your families have met, you have a routine, you have inside jokes. Well, that dragged on, not one

jokes. Well, that dragged on, not one year, not 2 years, not 3 years, but finally 4 years before we're both were just like, "Yeah, this is not right."

And it was this four-year battle of trying to flip the other person to make them what we wanted out of them. this

question and questions like the one I'll give you here would have forced me to not slip into these comfort grooves, you know, where like uh an analogy would be

if you see fresh powder on a mountain that no one has skied or snowboarded on and you go down it the first time, you can go any which way, but the more times people go down it, it creates these

paths that are quicker, slicker, and easier to take. Well, that's how routines and habits and comfort works in your life. And sometimes you're in

your life. And sometimes you're in something just because it's comfortable.

And if you really want to change your life, I mean, you got to disrupt some of the comforts there. Which brings me to your next self- coaching journaling

question. What am I pretending not to

question. What am I pretending not to know? In my story, I was pretending not

know? In my story, I was pretending not to know that this person, you know, it was a round peg in a square hole. We

just weren't meant to be. And that's

okay. That doesn't mean they're terrible or they're wrong. It's just not working.

See, you have this amazing God-given gift. Call it your intuition, call it your gut instinct, where you know and you can feel truth.

And often times we ignore it out of comfort. And it's like when you're a

comfort. And it's like when you're a kid, remember, and you don't want to hear an answer. What do you do? No, no,

no. Like not listening. Not listening.

You plug your ears cuz you don't want to hear it. Well, I think as adults, our

hear it. Well, I think as adults, our version of plugging our ears is we escape. Uh we doom scroll. We play hours

escape. Uh we doom scroll. We play hours of video games. We get sucked into other people's drama. Or we numb out. You

people's drama. Or we numb out. You

know, alcohol, excessive food, partying, drugs, and all those things kind of create this slumber like state that numb us. And watch how you can tolerate way

us. And watch how you can tolerate way more when you're doing that. And I say tolerating because that's not good. You

don't want a life where you're just tolerating people or things. So, what

are you pretending not to know? Is it a job that you've outgrown that's sucking your soul? Is it a relationship you've

your soul? Is it a relationship you've been in too long where you know you're not right? Is it a bad habit that you

not right? Is it a bad habit that you understand is uh damaging your energy and your self- view of yourself? Or is

it a dream that you're putting off because you don't feel ready for it? I

know you're like, well, pretending not to know. Okay, what what do I do next?

to know. Okay, what what do I do next?

Uh, so this is a two-part. The next

question will help you with this, but first a little context, otherwise it doesn't make sense. So, the story comes from the coach I worked with, and he's someone who worked with uh rock stars,

like highlevel CEOs, former Navy Seals, and of course, his most difficult client, me. But he told me a story that

client, me. But he told me a story that fits here. It was about a dude he was

fits here. It was about a dude he was working with who had a really great job, like multiple six figures, and he was crushing it, but he felt it wasn't right. He was pretending not to know,

right. He was pretending not to know, like, dude, your soul is not meant to do this. He wanted to do a real estate

this. He wanted to do a real estate firm, but the path felt so intimidating going from what I'm doing to launching a real estate firm. Like, I got to hire employees and there's legalities and business structures and you know when

your mind just goes. So, we got to ask this question. He's like, what's the

this question. He's like, what's the next closest action you could take? Not

step 20, but like what would you do right now, you know, day one if you were to start this? He said, well, I'd probably make a phone call and see if people were interested funding some

capital. And then the coach said, "Huh?

capital. And then the coach said, "Huh?

Do you really need to quit your job to make that call?" The reason I'm telling you that story is because when you answer questions like you just did, watch how fast your mind starts going to

step number 20 instead of step number one and two. So that's where the last question comes in. What's one action I could take today to test my someday dream? Good news is you'll find it's not

dream? Good news is you'll find it's not drastic. It doesn't mean you have to up

drastic. It doesn't mean you have to up and quit your job to start one. Probably

a good idea to film 10 videos before you decide to quit your job just to see if you even like the process. Probably a

good idea to speak to someone about the career you're thinking about moving to before you make a big move. It's

probably a good idea to uh I don't know, rent a boat and sail for a little bit before you have this pipe dream of quitting everything and sailing around the world to see if you actually like sailing. One of two things will happen.

sailing. One of two things will happen.

A, you find like, hell yeah, this feels good. I'm more excited to do it and

good. I'm more excited to do it and that'll motivate you. Or B, you'll realize that didn't feel right. I don't

actually like that. And that's great news cuz you can check it off the list.

So make a list here of one action you can take to test a someday big dream that you're putting off because it's just a dream for you. Like bring it closer to you and see what you can do today to make it happen. You like

questions like this, our My Best Journal program has two workshops that I'll put you through similar to this that'll really make you dig and get a lot of growth. link down below to our refusing

growth. link down below to our refusing to settle newsletter. Make sure you're on it. Next episode coming this

on it. Next episode coming this Saturday. Remember to bet on yourself,

Saturday. Remember to bet on yourself, do hard things, and make your future self proud.