Asians Heal From Their Childhood Traumas

I feel frozen.

That's okay. We're just going to go back to this memory that you were telling me about when you were a kid.

You can do this. We're just going to be here for a couple minutes. That's it.

Welcome back to House of Feelings season 3. Today we are watching the trauma

3. Today we are watching the trauma episode. There might be a lot of

episode. There might be a lot of emotions and tears shed this episode.

Like last season, we brought this back, but this time I decided to invite a guest.

Okay, welcome to House of Feelings.

Thanks for having me.

I want to introduce everyone to Victoria Song, author and life coach.

Yeah, I would say executive coaching cuz I work mostly with entrepreneurs. I

invited you to help a lot of the contestants overcome some of their potentially traumas and barriers and limiting beliefs that they have.

Especially since last season, we hosted a session like this pretty informally just with drinks, hanging out and with some cars. But this season, I wanted to

some cars. But this season, I wanted to bring an expert. Very happy to have you.

Thank you for taking the time.

Yeah, absolutely. So, I'm really happy to be here. I think that this is going to really help them break through whatever patterns they're already noticing are coming up for them.

I think that's one of my biggest goals is hopefully they could shed some of that old patterns and they could like step into relationships going into the future with more courage instead of like

fears.

V didn't do a bad job. I don't know how Victoria I don't know how Victoria will compare to V. you know, back he was up there. But, you know, I really did like

there. But, you know, I really did like the uh trauma night of the house. I

didn't share too much during that night specifically, but I think it really helped open up and really loosen up the rest of the cast, and I'm excited to see how it affects season 3 members.

Hello.

Hello.

Welcome.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Hi. How is everyone feeling? Has it been fun?

It's been a lot of fun. Okay. I heard

last night there was like even deeper conversations happening, getting to know each other better.

Yeah, I definitely think like we bonded a lot.

We were just kind of able to open up about things, you know, whether it was kind of a little bit of upbringing or just kind of the way that we feel and our emotions just being here.

Yeah.

Good. Have you noticed any like commonalities, maybe similar backgrounds, similar challenges, anything coming up like that so far?

A lot.

Yeah. Tell me. Anyone want to share what are you noticing some of the themes?

I feel like everyone came up differently, all have different backgrounds, but we face a lot of the same problems, same stress.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think um everyone's so nice to each other and we like like each other a lot. So

yeah, you wish you could pick everyone.

I wish I could put everyone in my suitcase and go home.

Yeah.

Any ladies would like to jump in?

Don't be shy, guys.

Um, I wasn't like nervous or scared at all cuz I just thought we were going to like all get deep and talk to each other and get to like know each other on a deeper level.

I didn't think that it would it would be like how it went.

No, it's okay.

She might feel a little overwhelmed with everyone watching.

Um, we could step out.

You can do this. We're just going to be here for a couple minutes. That's it.

Anyone looking forward to this session like today particularly knowing that we were going to unpack this? Okay.

Awesome. Well, I'm glad two of you are excited. So, I'll I'll focus here now.

excited. So, I'll I'll focus here now.

Okay. Awesome. So, who's familiar with avoidant attachment styles? Anxious

attachment style. Secure. Yeah. Do you

know what yours is?

Anxious.

Yeah. Okay. How does that show up or how has that shown up this weekend?

Oh, I'm like anxious all the time. Like

I'm like overthinking all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you notice like if someone's talking less or pulling back a little bit? Do

you feel all that? You like notice all of it? Okay. Um, anyone here avoidantly

of it? Okay. Um, anyone here avoidantly attached? And I'll define these and tell

attached? And I'll define these and tell you how it happens too in a moment, but I'm just curious if anyone knows that you tend to be avoidant.

I think I might be Yeah.

really deeply connecting with people sometimes I think scares me.

Okay. Thanks for sharing that. I've

heard several of you say that you do things out of self-p protection, right?

To protect your heart, to anticipate disappointment. Okay. And you raised

disappointment. Okay. And you raised your hand, too.

Um, actually, Richard put it really well. Um, I struggle with feeling like I

well. Um, I struggle with feeling like I could disappoint somebody and that I'm not enough.

A lot of my more recent dating history, I would describe myself as just like a lever. Um,

lever. Um, you leave the relationship.

The moment you feel like you can't meet that person's expectations, you start to pull back.

That's right.

Okay. So, you might be wondering like how does one become avoidant or anxious?

And it all traces back to how your parents were with you. The anxious

attachment would be the mother who um she's not reliably there. So, it's like maybe sometimes she'll pay attention and she'll, you know, be there, but most of the time it's like you can't predict and

that actually makes you anxious because it feels like you can't rely on her reaction. Maybe you're crying for a long

reaction. Maybe you're crying for a long time and she's not showing up, you know, and Okay. I can feel we're striking a

and Okay. I can feel we're striking a cord already here. Good. Okay. Yeah. So,

then it feels like you can't depend on her. You can't rely that when you need

her. You can't rely that when you need something, they're going to show up.

There's certain things that she said that triggered me and it's hard for me to like hold that in. You could be crying for hours and then no matter what reassurance you get, it never feels like

it really hits for you because in your head you're like, well, I don't know how long this is going to last and how reliable it is. So, I need to keep getting reassured. There's no amount of

getting reassured. There's no amount of I love you that's going to make me feel secure. So, that kid feels very anxious

secure. So, that kid feels very anxious because they don't know what to expect of her. So, when you have an avoidantly

of her. So, when you have an avoidantly attached mom, it actually makes you very independent. You can imagine a kid

independent. You can imagine a kid putting their hands out and being like, "Mommy, daddy." Right? To not be met,

"Mommy, daddy." Right? To not be met, that's so heartbreaking. and painful

that the kid learns very fast to just, you know, take care of yourself, be independent, disconnect from your own needs, disconnect from your own feelings. And then that creates more

feelings. And then that creates more like an avoidantly attached person. Um,

and then securely attached here would be a parent who's actually just like very reliable and when you hurt your knee or you're crying, your mom comes over and you can even hear her voice is very melodic. She might say like, "Oh, are

melodic. She might say like, "Oh, are you okay?" You know, let me look at it.

you okay?" You know, let me look at it.

you know, and you can feel comforted and soothed even just by the way she's speaking to you, the way she's paying attention to your needs. Um, and then that would create someone who's securely attached.

Does anyone feel like you were securely attached and had raised by parents that were secure?

Okay, great. Awesome. Good. Okay, so for securely attached, it just means that you can both care about your needs at the same time as caring about someone else's needs. And what happens when

else's needs. And what happens when you're avoidantly attached is that you tend to take care of your own needs and then you forget about the other person.

And then an anxiously attached person, you're always kind of thinking about the other person. You're always like, "Oh, I

other person. You're always like, "Oh, I wonder I wonder if I can anticipate their needs. What are they thinking

their needs. What are they thinking right now?" And then you forget yourself

right now?" And then you forget yourself to take care of that person's needs.

I felt like I was a lot of everything that she was talking about, whether it be like anxiety attachment or avoidant attachment. And I was like, "Yeah, I've

attachment. And I was like, "Yeah, I've definitely experienced all of it." what

you were explaining. I was like, "Oh, yeah, that was me at this month or whatever and then now I'm like here and then now."

then now." Yeah. Depending who I'm dating and then

Yeah. Depending who I'm dating and then um yeah, like kind of like the time of my life or whatever. But then when you were saying securely ch I was like, "Yeah, that sounds like me right now." I

think like this weekend we're all securely attached.

I have tendencies of being avoidantly attached when I'm single and I'm like in the talking stages with girls cuz I think I don't really care about their feelings at the start. like sometimes

and then I transition into like the anxiously attached when I'm like in the relationship and everything's like locked in. Um because then I just want

locked in. Um because then I just want to like give.

What I've seen is that you might not be like an extreme. So you kind of think of it as avoidant is on one extreme, anxious on the other extreme, and then secure is like almost in the middle. So

you might feel like you go between secure and avoidant or secure and anxious or maybe between the two of them. But depending on who you're with,

them. But depending on who you're with, if you're with someone who's avoidant, you might actually become more anxious, right? So like maybe you are secure

right? So like maybe you are secure generally when you're with someone who's more secure, but then if you are with someone who's avoidant, they bring out your anxious side.

Yeah, that sounds uh that sounds relatable.

Yeah. But what if like when you you always overthinking someone's behavior like you're being anxious just like what you said like, "Oh, he probably doesn't like me. He's not interesting to me." So

like me. He's not interesting to me." So

you're like, "Okay, so now it's my turn to be avoidance." But low key, I'm wishing like, "Oh, please come talk to me." But then I would never make the

me." But then I would never make the first move. I'll be like, "I'm going to

first move. I'll be like, "I'm going to be like this." But then I'm like so anxious like talk to me, talk to me. I'm

going to check the phone. I'm going to wait for the message. But I would never like text him first.

Well, like I'm not here to teach you to play better games cuz I that's not cuz like Yeah, you could probably bring in a coach that teaches you how to play a really great game. And you know, here for that.

I'm here for that.

Coach Jimmy. Coach Jimmy.

Yeah. I also just want to add I've I've done that too in the past where it's like I'm talking to somebody and almost becomes like this competition of like who is going to text who first, who's

going to text I miss you first. But now

I I don't like you don't lose anything from saying I miss you first. Like what

do you what do you lose? What if he said like um he doesn't say I miss you too back? I'll

be hurt and I'm the only one missing him.

Well, I'm curious. Can we get some real response from someone who's avoidantly attached? How would you feel if someone

attached? How would you feel if someone said I miss you?

I usually if someone says they miss me.

I recently got that text.

I would just be like I miss me too.

I love that.

That's that's so on brand.

But then I do that a lot. So I mean you do that a lot. This is like all most your inbox is I miss you text.

Yeah. Or like if they're interested and I'm like slightly interested I would respond but like not give them the satisfaction

of saying I miss you or like I like you.

How is that working for you?

Just fine.

Yeah. Okay. So you feel good in your relationships. I don't know the history

relationships. I don't know the history of what's going on. So how do you feel about your dating life?

I think I'm avoidant right now.

Okay.

Because when I fall, I fall really hard and I'm scared.

Yeah.

Everyone's so nice. Everyone's so, you know, the world is good until you get hurt and then you think otherwise.

Nobody deserves to get to know this until they prove it to me.

It's a good response to feel that someone needs to earn, you know, and like show that they're worthy of being close. Um, and we just want to be

close. Um, and we just want to be careful where we're actually creating too much of a shield cuz we're kind of becoming untouchable.

Mhm.

You know, and so sometimes when we're heartbroken too much, we're literally like closing our heart off for self-p protection.

And then it's not just about earning their way in. about like you becoming untouchable and not really falling for someone who you feel um you don't have the upper hand with.

Yeah.

What's it like if you're uh like old and young? Like if you're like an old man,

young? Like if you're like an old man, you know, but young in spirit.

No, no. Like if you're old like in your 40s and you like, you know, how do you deal with that?

What do you mean? Like as like cuz you're single and dating or No, I'm just saying like you know because like I mean oh like I feel like cuz we're so young it doesn't like apply.

It doesn't apply in a way.

What doesn't apply?

The avoidant anxious stuff.

No, not the anxious. It's just like wouldn't the world be so much simpler if just people just did what they wanted to do? Like when it comes to like dating

do? Like when it comes to like dating somebody?

Well, here's the thing. When I was invited to come on here, I thought gosh, these people are so young. They haven't

like lived enough heartbreak. Ooh,

you know that expression of like wisdom is almost wasted. It's like until you live through it, how can you appreciate you know what you're learning right now?

Other than maybe one day, 10 years from now, you'll be like, "Oh, I'm so glad that I stopped doing that thing I do and you know, I I like realized what these attachment styles were." But then but then I'm also on the note that like hey

it's it's better to equip yourself with this information so when when when hits the fan you know how to deal with it rather than like you know you meet a really dope person hits the fan and you fumble it cuz you don't have these

resources.

Yeah. I got happy every time like he would speak up because I wanted to hear what he would say. I thought like he would get a little bit deeper and I felt like there's moments that he wanted to

but it just didn't come out. And I mean, I understand. Sometimes it's just hard

I understand. Sometimes it's just hard to um say what you feel.

Any questions so far?

I wanted to ask like what's the deal with me always trying to fix guys?

Have you heard like the broken bird syndrome?

No.

No.

Yeah. It's like you you like always just like, "Oh, this person, he he could really use my help. No one sees him like I do. No one gets him like I do." Right.

I do. No one gets him like I do." Right.

And so so that's one hand. you're like

kind of becoming caretaker. You like

pick up all these broken birds and you try to save them, right? Um but on some in some way it's like who's going to look at your stuff?

I think I want to fix guys because like I see like a potential and I'm like I know he can be good. I want him to be

good and loving for me and I see it and I want to help you get there. And then

it's also related to worthiness too because on some level we might not feel worthy of being with someone who truly loves us for who we are. And we think we're only worthy when we're taking care of someone.

Yeah.

You know, and being needed by someone.

And if you're anxiously attached, that would be like the ultimate security is to be like, well, I feel secure cuz this person needs me.

Yeah.

They're not going to go anywhere cuz they need me until they do.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think Henna actually asking questions about that makes a lot of sense as to why she went for Michael.

Oh, I can fix him. And like I think what Victoria said about like the her mom.

Yes.

Like not being there for her.

Yes. And then how that manifested into I only feel secure and worthy if I can fix those people and if they if I feel like they can depend on me.

So I think it makes a lot of sense as to why Henna kept going for Michael, which at first I was like I was like really, you know, I was like why? But I mean it it does check out I think. So

I have a question.

Yeah.

Um I tend to like fall for guys that chase me hard enough. Like how do I stop doing that?

Meaning like you have this test almost like let's see how much you're willing to go.

Yeah. Yeah. Like I want them to like do the most like buy you gifts, take you out. What

does that look like?

I normally just go for the guy that chases me the hardest. I don't really have a type.

hardest. I don't really have a type.

Like you want to go on his knees.

You're in my dreams. I can't stop thinking about you.

Yeah.

Damn.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, I'm not sure you're going to be attracting the most emotionally balanced humans if like that's what they're doing. Cuz cuz also think about it is

doing. Cuz cuz also think about it is like a guy who respects himself also respects like if you're not interested, I'm not going to like be weird.

Yeah.

Right. And so you're almost creating a filter of like weirdos.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Got her.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Damn. I think growing up I just craved um connection and relationship so bad because I didn't get it at home that anyone that showed me that kind of like

that they were willing to give it to me, I took it, you know? Yeah. And I wasn't selective with who like I had in my life or who I brought into my life because I

was like, "Oh, a connection is a connection." like if he's willing to

connection." like if he's willing to chase for me or do like go out of his way for me, that means he loves me.

Yeah.

So, I would invite you to like get to know yourself and say like, well, what would I be attracted to? Like, who would I want to be with? Who do I hope likes me? And that's vulnerable, right? Cuz

me? And that's vulnerable, right? Cuz

you don't know if they're going to like you back. But maybe that's a better

you back. But maybe that's a better filter to start with than just who's pining after you.

Has anyone met the standard here? Has

anyone chased you thoroughly, properly?

No, here this weekend. Can someone prove it in three days?

Yeah, I did not chase her the way.

But that's why I was drawn to him because he's a really really nice guy.

Yeah.

And you're also like lowkey like I don't care until we're serious. So

that's why it didn't work out honestly.

It was like you can't handle all this. I was like I don't want to handle all that.

You right. I can't.

Right. But But how did it feel to hear that he's someone who maybe at the beginning isn't going to like bend over backwards, but once you're his person, he'll do everything for you?

Uh, I didn't feel anything.

Oh, you didn't feel anything?

Yeah, I didn't feel anything.

Okay. But I'm just I'm for you, I would don't want you to write anybody off because at the beginning they're not chasing you hard enough.

I think I do that a lot. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Good. I have a question.

Yeah.

Uh, what do you think is ready for a relationship? Because I feel like very

relationship? Because I feel like very happy to be single because when I'm single, I'm emotionally very stable. I

only stress about work and I have no heartbreak. I just feel good. But I know

heartbreak. I just feel good. But I know when I really get into relationship or when I like someone, I'll be miserable.

So, I try not to get myself like emotionally unstable. When I'm like

emotionally unstable. When I'm like actually sad about a guy, I I can't, you know, I I just scroll my phone the whole day. I'm trying to distract myself, but

day. I'm trying to distract myself, but I can't. Whenever taking shower, when

I can't. Whenever taking shower, when I'm walking, I just always thinking about him. It just makes me feel like

about him. It just makes me feel like I'm not there. Like I can't control my brain. I don't I don't like the feeling

brain. I don't I don't like the feeling of losing control myself. So, I'm like more stable when I'm single.

What I pick up is that you will lean or bias towards staying positive no matter what.

Yeah. And so in some ways it's like you make it too easy for guys around you cuz you're just like it's like the opposite of what you're talking about. You're

like I make guys fight go through a triathlon before like I let them get my phone number you know and you're just like happy and cheerful and just like almost too easygoing. It's like the

opposite of having a triathlon.

I'm going to be me.

But it's not even that cuz we just told her she shouldn't do that either. But

it's like you'll get a lot of guys coming around because you make it so easy for them to get your time to spend time with you. Just because he's going out with you doesn't mean he's really interested in you. You just made it really easy for him to keep going out

with you. If you keep smiling, just

with you. If you keep smiling, just notice how much am I smiling, you know?

And it's not to say that smiling is bad, but just you'll start to notice that.

And again, I'm not trying to help you play a game, but there is a certain energy of people who are not just smiling when nothing is being said to smile to. You know, even if he's not

smile to. You know, even if he's not telling a joke and he's not making you smile, like why are we smiling? But

women and girls are trained to be people pleasing and to like smile and look sweet and be like a doll, right? And

like that's where we want to take our power back as women and be like, "Why am I smiling and I'm trained to do that no matter what? Your parents probably

matter what? Your parents probably trained you to be like that, right? It's

like be a good girl. Oh, look how cute she is." Yeah.

she is." Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

But you are really cute.

You got it. Don't stress. You got it.

You got it.

I never be sad in front of my parents.

Yeah.

So, you were conditioned for a long time to just be happy and smile no matter what's happening.

It's like I can't be sad in the family.

If I if I'm sad, like my parents will blame me.

Yeah. be like, "Why are you so weak? Why

are you stressed?" Everybody's stressed.

Like, why are you only the one who's stressed? I I work all day. Like, I we

stressed? I I work all day. Like, I we work, we wake up early, going out, work for you, we earn money, we pay the rent, and you're just a kid. You just go to

school. What are you sad about? Like,

school. What are you sad about? Like,

they make me feel like having emotion, having pressure is my own fault. If you

can't solve the problem, if you can't take the pressure, then you're a Then you're like, you're weak.

I I feel scared to be sad.

Yeah. And you can be sad, you can be angry, you can be all of it.

I can't be angry.

Yeah, I understand. That's what it feels like.

I can't have like I have to be respectful, you know, like they've wired you to be convenient for them, okay? And not because they didn't love

okay? And not because they didn't love you, but because they were probably overwhelmed and doing the best they could. You know, like it was a lot for

could. You know, like it was a lot for them to see you unhappy was probably really hard for them and instead of looking inward and feeling ashamed of like why is our daughter sad, they want to quickly get

upset with you and make it stop so that they didn't have to look at anything hard.

Yeah. So I very scared to show my emotion Yeah.

to them or like to other people because I feel I feel like it's kind of wrong to do that. I I broke my bones before and none

that. I I broke my bones before and none of my parents know.

I'm so sorry.

And because I'm like compares to the mistakes or like the consequences that I have, I'm more scared to let them know.

Yeah. But it's so tiring to try to be perfect all the time and no one ever really sees your full self, right?

Because it feels like you're only allowed to show a very specific version of you to anybody.

Yeah.

So, I think it's great that you share this here and our parents did their best. You know, a lot of them were your

best. You know, a lot of them were your age when they had you probably. And just

think about how prepared do you feel to be parents right now, you know, and so even though they did their best, they had good intentions, but I think we could all agree that the impact was not always positive for different reasons,

you know. Um, and I think it's the thing

you know. Um, and I think it's the thing that's really hard to understand, which we're going to unpack in our next session, is their limitations were really just a sign of them. It was not a

reflection of our worthiness, of your you're hurting yourself not mattering, your feelings not mattering. You know,

it's your fault. Like, all of that is not true. It's just because they weren't

not true. It's just because they weren't equipped to be parents.

Okay? And I know that that's like hard cuz we make the meaning. However our

parents treated us, whatever we saw, we might have like closed our heart down because we don't want to ever experience what we saw our parents go through or we might have, you know, filtered ourselves

to become this perfect sweet good girl all the time. And so now you get to feel your feelings. You get to express

your feelings. You get to express yourself and you get to show other parts of you the sad parts, the angry parts, you And I feel that you're going to break the cycle of the kinds of guys you

attract when you embody more of your full self versus just the version of you that you think is acceptable and that people like.

So in some ways like being less perfect and more messy is actually going to find you better love.

I'm like scared to do.

Yeah. But you're here. This is the first step.

Thank you for sharing. Thank you for sharing. You do?

sharing. You do?

Yeah.

No, I um also really relate to Rey as like I think a lot of people see me as like very bubbly, very like happy, very positive all the time, but like at home

it's like I carry this like weight every single day where I have like parents the same as her where like being weak gets punished, being vulnerable gets punished

and it's like something that I still struggle to this day. They grew up in like, you know, their own generation how they were raised. They're just trying to

like teach me and guide me the best way that they can and with their ability. I

wouldn't say they're they're the best parents, but I know deep down they love me and they just think they're doing what's right for me. So, it's like, yeah, I relate I relate to Ry a lot and

I Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Watching this, I actually related to Rey. so so much. Like I think whenever I

Rey. so so much. Like I think whenever I watched season 2's trauma night, it was like, "Okay, yeah." Like some parts were like relatable, but whenever Ry was talking about like how like it just like hit me like super

hard because me growing up, I was also like my sadness was punished too where it was like why are you sad? You know, like I'm

sad. And I think I feel a lot more sad

sad. And I think I feel a lot more sad for Ry because she grew up with like having to smile through all the pain and like like you know acting like everything's okay, very bubbly on the

outside. Whereas for me, the way I grew

outside. Whereas for me, the way I grew up from it was it manifested into me um not feeling safe with my own vulnerability. So it's like I can't even

vulnerability. So it's like I can't even imagine like how she must feel like whenever she feels sad, she's like, "Okay, no, be happy. Like everything's

fine." You know, my heart goes out to her. Honestly, that hit me so hard. Oh

her. Honestly, that hit me so hard. Oh

man. I also want to take this time and have everybody reveal their occupations and what they do.

Only that keep keep everything else still age.

No, keep that a mystery. Keep everything

else a mystery. But occupations, let's do that.

Okay.

Yeah. Across the board.

Starting here.

Yeah.

I'm a tattoo artist full-time.

Full time.

I'm a HVAC technician, so I deal with all like cooling and heating elements, um, repairments, installations type.

I help with the family business. Um, my

mom was a clothing brand.

I work full-time in music marketing.

Uh, full-time content creator, college student, um, digital creator slash influencer.

Yeah. Uh, streamer, content creator, online personal trainer.

Cool.

I work in finance, banking.

Um, I'm an art student and I do content creation with dancing.

Um, I'm a content creator and I'm a figure skating coach.

Cool.

Okay. Who's excited to heal these wounds now that we've really talked about them?

Unpack them. Yeah.

Okay. Good. Good.

What's going to happen now is everybody is going to break off into individual rooms. You guys will be all attached to Victoria's voice.

You're going to put your headphones on and I'm going to walk you through a guide and then I'm going to prompt you at various points. I'm going to say things like, "Okay, who do you see in the chair right now?" So, it's going to be things where you can say out loud because you'll be in the privacy of your

room.

The cast members can't hear each other, but every single cast member is able to hear Victoria.

This is the cream of the crop of her techniques. Yeah, this is one of her

techniques. Yeah, this is one of her techniques where she speaks to you and and have you unpack things you've never really unpacked or or even seen a guided

journey through your entire life. 1

2 3 4 5 All right. So, just make yourself

All right. So, just make yourself comfortable and just remember you are completely safe as we go on this journey of healing your

heart. And you're going to start with

heart. And you're going to start with your eyes open and just look up a moment and imagine you are looking at your mind's eye in the center of your

forehead.

And keep your eyes looking up as you take a deep breath in and breathe out.

And as you breathe out, just gently close your eyes while still looking up.

Now good. You can feel the muscles and

good. You can feel the muscles and nerves around your eyes becoming heavier and heavier.

And as you drift deeper now, you find you are listening with your subconscious mind.

You are going to a deep level where you are responsible for healing your heart.

And now I want you to imagine that you've gone inside your body and you are standing in front of your beautiful beating heart.

the portal to your soul.

You feel so small next to it. You see

and hear it calmly beating.

And you walk up to your heart, the sound of it beating, getting louder. Now

you walk around it and you notice there's a door.

And you walk through this doorway into a chamber of your heart.

And as you peer inside this chamber, you find a younger version of you who's

in there crying, sobbing.

They feel not lovable unconditionally.

They look up at you, you look at them, they know you are them, so they feel safe with you.

They trust you.

And you walk over and gently take them by the hand and you ask, "Why do you feel unlovable?"

And they open up to you and tell you about a time someone they love hurt them, upset them,

made them feel not lovable. This person

is the root cause of you not feeling lovable unconditionally.

And it's time for us to heal this wound now. So you ask, "Who is the person that

now. So you ask, "Who is the person that you love that made you feel this way?"

And they point to the other side of the chamber and you see a person you know sitting there in a chair.

Who is it?

You walk toward this person, standing between them and that younger you, knowing that you are safe and supported

as you do so. And now I want you to tell them how they made you feel.

You made me feel unloved.

unwanted.

I'm upset with you because I am upset with you because I'm upset with you because

I felt like I was never good enough.

I am upset with you because I want you to be proud of me to tell me you love me.

God, keep going.

I'm angry with you because you were supposed to be my dad.

You were supposed to guide me through life and show me how I should have should be treated. And

now I have to show myself.

Just put an end on it without thinking about it. Just let the words flow out of

about it. Just let the words flow out of your mouth.

And now I have to show myself how it is to be truly loved.

And that's why I don't know you made me feel.

This is hard.

Repeat out loud after me. You made me feel You made me feel small

and unworthy of love and insecure and everything I shouldn't have felt as a little girl.

I'm upset with you because I'm already trying my hardest, my best.

You're so selfish.

I'm angry with you because I'm scared to be angry with you.

I'm angry with you because you're an But you never really truly cared that I was your daughter.

You didn't take enough care of me.

And now I want you to tell them out loud, how has this impacted your life?

I don't know how I'm supposed to be treated.

I don't know how a man is supposed to properly treat a woman.

What did it make you believe about yourself?

then I'll probably never find real love.

I have a lot of resentment towards him.

I think my like everyone would have been a lot happier if my family was still together. Sorry.

together. Sorry.

I think like individually um like every one of my family members like my brother included and my mom like

sorry This is so this were like this before you were born

not because of you. I don't know.

It was never because you weren't lovable.

They're like constantly um still trying to heal from like trauma from like my parents break like from the family breaking up. And I think we're

all very avoidant. So we don't like to talk about it. And growing up, I was the only one vocal about it. I was the only one who wanted to talk about it. and

nobody wanted to talk about it with me and it was like really really hard for me. So I was just like okay maybe I

me. So I was just like okay maybe I should just you know shut the up and deal with it the way they are. Um,

yeah. So,

I think it made me a lot more closed off for sure and you are so much stronger

than this person because you're doing this healing and breaking the cycle.

You are the change maker.

I want you to imagine that the soul of this person is in front of you now. The soul is the unwounded version.

But there is also love between the two of you, just not in the way you needed it, and they weren't always able to show it because of their own wounds.

Say out loud each time, "I am letting go of the pain. You have

no power over me anymore.

I'm letting go the pain anymore.

And a bright white light surrounds you now.

And this bright white light is filled with particles of peace and love.

And these little particles of peace and love flood through your body. And you

sit down in that empty chair and you look around that heart chamber.

And it's just you and that younger you left there. now

left there. now and they run up to you smiling, laughing, and they give you the biggest hug.

They feel so happy and free now because you finally gave them a voice.

You have the power to set them free.

And you wrap your arms around them now.

And you look deep into their eyes and you give them the love they've always needed and deserved.

And now you're going to say out loud after me.

I love you unconditionally.

I love you unconditionally.

You are so important to me.

You are so important to me.

I'm sorry for what you went through.

I'm sorry for what you went through.

It wasn't your fault.

It wasn't your fault.

You are safe now.

You are safe now.

I will protect you.

I will protect you.

You will never be alone.

You will never be alone.

I will always be here for you.

I will always be here for you.

You are perfect.

You are perfect.

You do belong.

You do belong.

You are loved more than you will ever know.

You are loved more than you will ever know.

You are more than enough.

You are more than enough.

We are healed now.

We are healed now.

And they look up at you and nod their head as if to say, "I'm ready." And as you hold them, you feel their little body integrate with your body and you

become one.

Their little heart starts to slowly integrate with your heart, becoming one whole heart.

And as your hearts become one and whole, it sends an explosion of love through your body that breaks down those walls that were

surrounding your heart.

You are letting go now of anything that has been stopping you from loving yourself.

Your heart is whole. Your heart is free.

Your heart is open to receiving more love than ever before.

And it feels incredible.

And you look around that chamber one more time and you see a person who is you but different.

They are your higher self.

And they tell you how amazing you are, how proud they are of you.

They tell you that you are always safe and supported.

When they turn to you and tell you how long they've been waiting for this moment, the moment your heart was finally free

to accept them and let them in.

And they take both your hands and theirs and tell you important guidance that you need right now.

What do they say?

Stop doubting. Follow your heart.

Look out for other people's emotions.

Love doesn't have to be hard.

And you walk out of that chamber and you notice that the wall around your heart is no more.

You truly see and understand now that you are not that younger self anymore.

Nothing you went through was your fault.

You finally recognize yourself for who you are. You are truly special. You are

you are. You are truly special. You are

a gift to the world. And you are so worthy and deserving of love.

Love has always been available to you, but it was hidden beneath some pain.

That pain is gone now.

You believe you are lovable.

You feel you are lovable. And you act like someone who knows they are lovable.

Feeling whole, feeling transformed, feeling complete.

On the count of five. One 2 3 4 5.

Um, in that segment I really resonated with Ashley. It was like it's like first

with Ashley. It was like it's like first part was like like Rey with the whole parenting thing and then also like um Ashley with like everyone in the family

could just be happier if they it was just like broken up. Um cuz in my family like everyone were all avoidant so nobody wants to like talk about things and I'm like the one who always want to

try to like bring in like the western culture of like let's talk about our feelings like let's let's come together and talk about it but it never works.

So, it's like, yeah, maybe I should shut the up. So, I really related to her

the up. So, I really related to her in that sense. Um, that was like kind of my take on that.

I want to give you a hug.

I think it's very interesting to see that the the contrast I guess from season 2 and season 3. I

think season 2 the focus of a lot of the trauma is grief and losing loved ones. But I think statistically there's a lot of people that have experienced parental and parental like

trauma traumas. And I think it it'll hit home

traumas. And I think it it'll hit home for a lot of people the viewers at home.

It might not resonate with as many guys just because like we bury our feelings to the point where it's not even like existent. That's why I think I think I

existent. That's why I think I think I think the guys Yeah.

fall asleep.

It's like not even funny though. It's

like more concerning that guys are actually so guarded that they're like I don't want to explore what is so deep down in there. And I think that's really

sad that they're so like the Okay. How are you all feeling?

Okay. How are you all feeling?

Good.

Pretty good.

Good.

Brand new person.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I also saw some emotions being felt and processed. Anyone want to share what

processed. Anyone want to share what that was like for you?

I think it's a little bit hard for me because none of my parents speak English.

And I feel like when I'm in the family because I'm the only one like in my family could speak English. So um

I kind of like I I talk when I talk I was talking in English to try to talk to them.

So this is also kind of how I feel in the family. They can't understand me.

the family. They can't understand me.

Yeah.

Some of the words I didn't really say out because I was saying in my heart like with the my mother tongue. So I

didn't really say out with the English.

And also I know it's hard but I also don't really blame them.

Yeah. Sure.

Because everybody has their own wounds.

Yeah.

This is my parents' first time to be a parent.

So why would I blame them too? So yeah.

Okay. It sounds like you came full circle though. At the beginning you were

circle though. At the beginning you were able to express what you felt and then by the end you understood and accepted and forgave them.

Yeah.

Go ahead. That's amazing.

Thank you.

What else was that like for anyone else that you wants to share? For me, I think the longest time I kind of resented my dad because he was

never really there for my mom or my sister growing up. And I think that having an absent father made it hard for

my mom as well. Um he was an alcoholic and it was just really tough um

seeing my mom go through like depression.

Sorry.

No, apologize.

Um and I don't like opening up about this a lot because it's about my parents.

Um but it made me realize as well that um my dad was actually doing it for our family. You know, he was working hard to

family. You know, he was working hard to like get us into good schools, make sure we were well educated. Um

so you felt his love?

Yeah. Like I think as I grew up I started to realize that you know my dad was doing it out of love, not out of hate or because he didn't want to see

us. I think that's also kind of why I

us. I think that's also kind of why I have a bit of like trust issues with guys in general and I didn't believe in

love for a long time because uh yeah I saw the marriage between my parents and I thought like oh not all marriages work out. M

but I think that um you know looking at other people's experiences with their relationships and marriages I realized that oh okay maybe it could work out um

I shouldn't hold myself back and generalize and say like oh every every relationship or marriage is going to turn out bad. Yeah.

Yeah.

You really helped me reflect on my past and my younger self. So just want to thank you for that.

Yeah. You're so welcome.

When you were saying to just like let something come out and I was like, okay, let me let me just think of something that like what what's an insecurity or something that I have right now. And I

always just kept on coming back to like I don't fit in or I I'm not like good enough or whatever.

And I was like, okay, why why do I feel like that? Cuz I don't think my parents

like that? Cuz I don't think my parents ever made me feel like that. Um, but

then here in Ray's story, I think my approach to the whole thing is like a little bit different where I'm from is like I'm like used to being the only Asian in the room. So,

did you have anyone in your family or relatives or friends or bullies make you feel like teased for being different?

Um, yeah. So, what I was getting to is that um my parents tried to raise me not Asian, I think.

Okay. Um,

which is weird because you you're trying to be like as white as you can because I think that's like that's going to like push you further in life or something like struggle being immigrants here.

Yeah. And I I don't know any other language other than English and like I don't really connect with any of my like Asian heritage or whatever, but then I also feel a little bit excluded from like the white community.

Yeah. And

I think that was kind of something that I'm like starting to unpack here. Yeah.

Yeah, I do feel like out of place a lot.

Yeah.

And I don't really feel like I belong anywhere cuz I'm trying to fit in everywhere.

Did you feel like you belonged with your family, your parents?

I think so. Like they didn't make me feel like I didn't belong. But

it's almost like if I was just like the token white boy, they would be happy.

You know what I mean? Like I don't know.

That feels like pretty conditional though right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Um, yes, please.

I have a question. Um, I was wondering if anyone here had like a hard time like speaking.

Yeah, it was a little hard. It was a little hard.

That's okay. Did you want to comment on your experience?

Oh, my heart is racing.

That's okay.

Um, I think when you told us to like look back at like whoever,

my parents definitely like showed up.

But I think like I I've already went through the process of accepting the fact that that's how they are.

But the talking thing, I couldn't like say anything. I think I just said one

say anything. I think I just said one thing in the beginning.

Was it a language thing? Did you think it would have been easier in their language?

No. Um,

I think I've been like mute most of my life.

Like you were you protecting their feelings or did it feel more like just I've never spoken up. It's so hard to express.

Like I want to and it's like all in my head like I write it all down but it just doesn't come out.

Okay. When I first imagined myself, like my younger self, like I just like teared.

Yeah.

Yeah. And like um the parent thing wasn't like too much of that big of a deal, but um my most recent relationship

took like a huge toll on me. like to the point that like um I went to like the hospital and like it

it was so draining and now it's like I had this fear that I lost myself like completely like I was like oh I'm not the same Hannah anymore and I don't believe in

Was there something traumatic in that relationship?

Yeah, a lot.

Yeah.

Um, yeah. So, I was just scared. Like I was

yeah. So, I was just scared. Like I was just scared that like everything I believed in my whole my whole life is just gone.

And so, okay. Um, I love to support you in

okay. Um, I love to support you in resolving this, but I also don't want to put you on the spot if you don't want to share it, you know. Um, first of all,

what was the nature of the trauma?

a a lot of like me mental and I think like again like you don't have to share it you know if you don't want to but do you recall like a specific memory of your

earliest unsa unsafety feeling of unsafety as a kid?

Yeah. My my middle school.

Okay.

Middle school going into high school.

Okay. Can you remember like something that happened? I always feel like

that happened? I always feel like um I was just overthinking it. Like it's

not that serious.

So, you don't have to say it, but I'm curious. Do you have a specific visual

curious. Do you have a specific visual memory?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yo, you don't have to say anything. You

don't want to. Like, you can just Yeah. You know,

Yeah. You know, it's like I want to, but I'm like, oh, you've been silenced and traumatized at a young age, and because you can't or won't talk about it, it's like the

reason why you haven't found your voice again, and why like it doesn't feel safe in your body.

Yeah, that's okay. Can you feel that your body

that's okay. Can you feel that your body is going into the fight or flight right now?

Yeah. I'm like,

"Yeah, that's okay."

Yeah.

Yeah, it's okay. But like at the end, um my like hope was going away, but um I think your exercise like really made me um

realize that like I can still like love or like I could still like receive.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Um

I kind of want to take her through a trauma release, but I also feel like she might feel a little overwhelmed with everyone watching.

Okay.

Um um we could step out.

Okay.

Yeah.

You want us to step out and give to you guys some space?

What do you think is best? Good. Good

thinking. She's like, I'm going to comfort.

I feel like this is really brave what you're doing because I also experienced similar things growing up. I think a lot of young girls do and they get dismissed

because they feel like, oh, it's not um like I'm making a big deal about it or Yeah.

I'm putting someone's else reputation in line.

Yeah.

And stuff like that. But

yeah, and I don't have the need to know details. You don't have to say who it

details. You don't have to say who it was or anything.

just like in general like growing up like voicing um like violations, you know?

For sure. I can support you to release this right now, but I want to do it in a way that feels comfortable for you.

Yeah. And would it be easier if we all left the room?

No, it's fine. It's just annoying cuz I can't stop shaking. No,

it's okay. Yeah, that's why I want to help you with this. Okay. Do Is it possible to dim the lights in here? It's

just very bright.

Okay.

All right. Do you feel comfortable with me?

Mhm.

Okay. Um, would you be open to me helping you release this memory from your body?

Yeah. So, we can either ask people to leave the room or we could just keep a couple people that you feel like supported by. Whatever you want to do.

supported by. Whatever you want to do.

Maybe just the girls.

Okay. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too.

Okay.

Yeah.

Do you want a a jacket? Be

Yeah. Can I

You want water?

Do anything you want to do.

Yeah. And for this exercise, I'm going to have you just, you know, answer some questions, but you don't have to give me names. You don't have to say anything

names. You don't have to say anything specific, okay? I just need you to

specific, okay? I just need you to remember it for me, and that's how we're going to release it.

Okay.

Okay.

Face this window actually. Yeah. Okay.

Great. And then just close your eyes and I'll go sit on the other side. Okay. So,

just closing your eyes. And then now I want you to remember something positive in the last seven days.

getting along with the girls.

Okay. What's the image?

Um talking and laughing.

Yeah. What's the thought?

Connecting.

Yeah. You feel good. I like being here.

Mhm.

Okay. What's the emotion?

Satisfied.

Okay. Where do you feel that?

In my heart.

Okay. Nice. Is it like warm and fuzzy?

Mhm.

Okay. Good. You can let that go in your next breath.

And remember, you're completely safe.

We're just going to a memory. Okay. So,

you know, in this room, you got your girls. You're totally safe. We're just

girls. You're totally safe. We're just

going to go back to this memory that you were telling me about when you were a kid, middle school.

Okay.

Okay. You can do this. We're just going to be here for a couple minutes. That's

it. Okay. What's the image?

Yeah.

And you can just say someone's face, someone's anything. It doesn't have to

someone's anything. It doesn't have to be specific.

You got this. You're safe. We're just

vising the memory. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

And what's the thought? I don't want to be here. Make it stop. Leave me alone.

be here. Make it stop. Leave me alone.

Yeah.

Is the emotion fear?

Yeah. Okay. Where do you feel that fear in your body?

Here.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, I want you just to feel this for a couple moments.

And I want you to freeze the scene. You

know, freezing is like taking a picture of it. So, don't let it move forward or

of it. So, don't let it move forward or backward in time like it's a screenshot.

Okay? It's frozen. Completely frozen.

Okay? And then, keeping your eyes closed, I want you to lift your pointer finger and just pierce the scene in front of you in your mind's eye.

Okay? So, left or right hand, just lift it up. Yeah. Good.

it up. Yeah. Good.

And and do what?

And just pierce it into the screen in front of you. The screenshot.

Yeah. I'm going to have you slowly turn 180. And as you turn, you can lower your

180. And as you turn, you can lower your hand gradually. So turn to the opposite

hand gradually. So turn to the opposite wall. Take your time. Good. And then

wall. Take your time. Good. And then

just breathe here.

You might notice more emotions come through. That's natural.

through. That's natural.

We've just released this frozen memory from your system. So you might notice tears come through.

Yeah. Now let the tears come. You can

relax. Let the tears flow.

Where is the screenshot now? Where's the

picture now?

I don't know. I feel frozen.

That's okay. But just notice. Okay,

we're so the response in your body. Just

keep breathing.

But we just release the memory. So that

you shouldn't be able to really connect to it now. It should feel like it's kind of gone, but you will notice the feelings and

emotions now. It's still an awful thing

emotions now. It's still an awful thing that is so tragic and you will still have tears about it, but it shouldn't be hijacking your system anymore.

Like there's space between you and that memory.

Mhm.

Good.

What are you aware of right now?

Breathing feels nice.

Good. Yeah. Feel the breathing.

Yeah, that's it.

Good.

That's it. We're just going to have you breathe a couple times here as you come back to this time and space.

Okay. You need to start to open up your eyes when you're ready.

I'm just coming back. Yeah.

Yeah.

It is amazing.

Yeah. You can just sit wherever you want. You can put back on the couch if

want. You can put back on the couch if you like on the ground. Yeah. Your body

doesn't have to hold so tight anymore.

You can relax.

Thank you guys.

We love you. We're here for you.

That was crazy.

You're so brave.

Hey, you brought us closer together.

You want a hug?

Yeah. Come here.

Come here.

You're so strong.

Thanks, guys. Thank you.

You're so welcome. Yeah.

Wow. I've never experienced something like that.

I felt something in my body that I literally I don't think I've ever felt in my life. My whole body was shaking and then suddenly I was just so calm

after the trauma release. That was that was pretty crazy. Yeah. I just felt like I really needed to speak up at this time. And that was me getting out of my

time. And that was me getting out of my comfort zone like by a lot knowing these girls like I know that girl to girl like there's a lot of people out there that go through these type of situations

where we can't like speak up about it and I've been through these things and I would want to know if these other girls have been through it too and that it's

okay. A lot of it was Hannah also like

okay. A lot of it was Hannah also like you know um healing from her trauma but we all related to that like heavily

especially like me. Um obviously growing up as a woman is not as a girl is not easy not easy at all. Um, and there are a lot of men that would take advantage

of you and you get scared of speaking up because you feel so small and you feel like no one's going to listen to you, no one's going to believe you or you're inconvenience for bringing it up because

you're causing drama. So then you just brush it away. But yeah, like your body remembers and it will tell you like there's something wrong and you have to face it and confront it.

I think life is just literally about balancing things. Mhm.

balancing things. Mhm.

So, love, work, love, money, love, work, and the relationship you have with yourself.

Yes.

Those are the three things.

Wait. Yeah. Wait, that's crazy. Cuz you

know how I'm an art student?

Yeah.

Like my my project was literally love, money myself.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. like your health, yourself, and everything. And then love. Yeah,

and everything. And then love. Yeah,

those are the three pillars. You you

need a balance.

Yes.

That's crazy you said that cuz this Yeah.

These past few days I was closed off. I

didn't want other people to see like a vulnerable side of me or show them that I like can take interest in them, you

know, because I am a prideful person.

Um, but being vulnerable and like love is beautiful. It is. Um, and I want to

is beautiful. It is. Um, and I want to experience it.

But that means I have to be open to it.

Yeah.

I think it's very safe to start off by saying that was very brave of Hannah.

It's not an easy thing. And especially

as women um, who go through that a lot, um, it is hard to speak up. I can't even imagine how good that must felt for her and just like the weight that she was carrying this entire time. It seemed

like it took a lot of weight off her shoulders. For sure.

shoulders. For sure.

I feel so grateful like watching Victoria do her magic. Like I've never seen that before. But

I felt like I was immersing myself in that experience with her. I basically

just felt like I learned how to like if next time there was like some sort of like challenge or something that I'm struggle with, I want to like practice that myself. It's a very Yeah, it's a

that myself. It's a very Yeah, it's a really good exercise. Like

I think you did a really wonderful thing bringing Victoria on for the cast and not only for the cast, but for people watching at home who could also really use this exercise as a way to,

you know, not let that memory hijack their system or like determine like their next course of action, you know?

I have a question, bro. like because you and um like Henna have the closest at least romantic relationship in the

house. Seeing her get to this point, how

house. Seeing her get to this point, how does that make you feel?

Sad. Cuz I would not expect that from Hannah cuz she's so happy.

Yeah, bro. The people who smiled the most got the most pain.

Yeah. I I did not expect that from like a deep deep standpoint. I didn't even realize she was crying because I didn't want to like look cuz you know some people like to cry in like their own.

Let me ask what was like the lowest point in your life? Have you ever gone through anything dramatic?

Yeah. But like for me it's like you know going through something like that like I feel like as a not like a dude but like you have like this much time to to kind of like dwell on it in a way.

Yeah.

You either get up and keep on moving forward like cuz like where you are today isn't going to where you're going to be tomorrow. But that's how you deal with it as as as a dude.

But I think that's like a a stigma as well. I've I've heard that if you ask a

well. I've I've heard that if you ask a man, "How do you feel?" Most of the time the responses are like, "Whatever. I

feel fine. I'm okay. I feel good." But

when you ask a man, "What do you think?"

Then they have a lot more to say. But

society kind of puts it on men sometimes that we're not supposed to feel. that our

feelings don't matter. It's what we do that matters more. Life's tough. You're

going to get pushed to the ground sometimes, but get back up and keep moving.

And that's the fun of that's the fun of it though.

I think in a way that's kind of like how generational trauma develops is when you don't face it. Like when you brush it

off over and over again. And you might not think it's accumulating, but it does if you don't resolve it. Guys especially

are taught to handle problems is when they come up, you you deal with it fast and you move on and forget about it. But like if you never acknowledge it ever, it's just

going to keep on building until like you pass it on to the next onto your your children or whatever. And then they're going to develop the exact same thing and just keep on passing it on. What if

you have a daughter one day, right, and she is dealing with something that life throws at her? Are you going to just,

hey, come on, get up. You all right?

No, not do that.

Hey, what's wrong with you?

No, I would not do that. That's that's

literally like the whatever the anxious attachment or like avoidant attachment or whatever style that was. Like that's

literally creating that. Yes.

So, it's like it's like as men, as future fathers, it's hopefully you want to have a kid, but as future fathers, we want to be able to recognize these emotions in our daughters and not let

this be a generational thing. It stops

right here with us.

My biggest takeaway from this episode is that I feel like a lot of us go through a lot of problems, but don't be afraid to reach out for help.

I also think it's very reassuring in the fact that you know like even though it may your problems may seem very very big because it's like you're handling it yourself

you know you're not alone in trying to navigate through that I think a lot of us feel the same way as you do and I think the just a simple reminder and you're not alone you know

a little bit more on the harsher side I'm going to come here and say like no one's coming to save you like you got if you want to like fix these internal problems, you yourself have to be the

first one to take action. No one,

yes, people are available to like help, but if you don't reach out for help, no one's coming to save you. And I think it's really important to know that you ultimately at the end of the day are the

controller and the the captain of your own life. And you got to take that first

own life. And you got to take that first step.

Okay.

It's been a handful of days now. Is

everybody kind of like set with their person? Okay, I got tea.

person? Okay, I got tea.

You got tea?

We're not trying to break any hearts or anything, but I think I overheard Ray say that she wanted to switch up as well.

Oh, what?

We want to explore. So,

still this is day five, guys.

There are some girls that we haven't said we're going to pursue, but there is a possibility that there might be a poncho.

Where are you finding it? That's not

fair. In the meantime, um, we got we got Deck of Feelings, everybody. We are on chapter 4 now.

everybody. We are on chapter 4 now.

Death and Healing.

You guys could get the expansion pack in the description box.

In the meantime, sorry.

If you guys want to meet the cast, we'll be live streaming and hanging out on Favorited. You guys can find the link in

Favorited. You guys can find the link in the description box. Come by, say hi, and hang out with the cast.