Asians Trauma Dump for the First Time | EP 5

I tried to take my own life a couple times and she didn't care.

>> The stuff that she does to me, I don't think I could ever forgive her.

>> I was raised by the devil. I'm doomed to be evil forever.

>> But you forgive your dad.

>> Getting over You don't get over It shouldn't have happened. Trauma, you

don't get over trauma. You heal. You

move on. You learn to live with it. Made

them talk, man. I ain't

>> resonates a lot.

>> Oh, I'm so sorry.

>> There's just like a lot of emotions.

[Music] House of Feelings 2, episode 5.

>> Thus far, it's been all dating, flirting. At this point, this is a good

flirting. At this point, this is a good opportunity for for all the castmates to to get to know each other on a much deeper level.

All right, we can get into some questions now and and anybody can can willingly jump on the question if it really resonates with you.

>> First one, what was the hardest goodbye in your life?

>> H I had a best friend in high school. We

went through a lot together. Highs and

lows, like ups and downs. We were in a stoner group together just smoking a [ __ ] ton of weed all the time and we were the two people in the group that

actually wanted to change and quit. Me

and my best bud um and a couple of other friends um plus my ex all went to a rape together.

>> He like ended up getting with her on at that rave.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> How did you How did you find out?

>> We separated for a little bit. I came

back and then it was just, >> oh, [ __ ] >> Damn.

>> Honestly, like at that point I was over my ex. It was just like,

my ex. It was just like, >> dude, you're my like best friend, bro.

>> Yeah, you were like my ride or die. Like

I I trusted you with like everything.

>> Um, >> did you confront him or No.

>> Yeah, we talked about it like that night.

>> I didn't I didn't like try to throw hands or anything. Did she say anything?

Cuz you were talking how you talked to him.

>> Yeah, it takes two villains.

>> Yeah, that's like two betrayals. It's

bogo.

>> I mean, >> yeah, >> the bogo.

>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Comedic relief a little bit. You know what I'm saying?

little bit. You know what I'm saying?

>> Like this is not the first time I I've heard a story like similar. But like the thing that gets me is like, yo, out of all the people in the [ __ ] world, >> that's that's all I'm saying.

>> Out of all the Why would you >> That's all I'm saying. You

>> you know Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Y'all want to hear about my white boy Tristan or what's up, man?

>> Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do.

>> Yeah.

>> You know, you know how we were talking about your your your your best friend, right? This is this is a [ __ ] I

right? This is this is a [ __ ] I met when I was and uh I was 13, I think, right? First time we met, fought each

right? First time we met, fought each other, beat the [ __ ] out of him or he beat the [ __ ] out of me. I honestly

don't remember. But after that, we just got locked in. Like dead ass to this day. My brother. After high school, we

day. My brother. After high school, we were homeless together. dead ass slept in cars together on on on parked benches, whatever. Used to we we we got

benches, whatever. Used to we we we got an apartment one time, no furniture, no nothing. Sleeping on the [ __ ] floor

nothing. Sleeping on the [ __ ] floor talking about, "Hey, bro, one day, like, if we just put our heads down and work and grind, bro, we we're not going to live like this no more." Come 20, what was it, 2021, when I was doing house

arrest for that whole bogus ass uh bogus ass charge? Super depressed. Whatever.

ass charge? Super depressed. Whatever.

Um when I get depressed, I ghost the world. I don't talk. I I don't even text

world. I don't talk. I I don't even text my mom back. Yeah, he just kept hitting me up talking about, "Hey, bro. Like,

I'm I'm I'm really going through it.

Like, I need to hang out." And every time I would look at my phone, I'm like, "Fuck, I'm going through it, too. I

really don't want to see anybody. Like,

I love you still, but I don't want to see you." Until one day, I woke up to a

see you." Until one day, I woke up to a call from his little brother. He's like,

"Yo." I'm like, "What's up?" He's like, "Tristan's dead." And I'm half asleep.

"Tristan's dead." And I'm half asleep.

I'm like, "Yo, is this a [ __ ] dream, bro?" Right. Right. I can't process it.

bro?" Right. Right. I can't process it.

I'm like, "What?" I I distinctly remember. I said, "What?" He's like, and

remember. I said, "What?" He's like, and he's crying. He's like, "Yeah, Tristan

he's crying. He's like, "Yeah, Tristan passed last night, bro."

>> You know, all that [ __ ] they say about tell the ones you love you love them before they're gone and all that other [ __ ] sounds corny as [ __ ] doesn't it?

But [ __ ] do it cuz I [ __ ] didn't. And for a very, very, very long time, I blamed myself for his death because he uh he ODed. Um,

we had the same problems. Both very depressed. Uh, both both very very

depressed. Uh, both both very very depressed. Both tried to

depressed. Both tried to lose that depression in drugs, right?

Cuz we had nothing better. Cops found

him at like 6:00 a.m. I got a call at 8 9:00 a.m. House arrest, ankle bracelet

9:00 a.m. House arrest, ankle bracelet on. I I couldn't even leave my crib to

on. I I couldn't even leave my crib to to like go see his family or nothing. Right. If

if I just had the strength to respond, bro, like to to just respond.

Like I considered him my brother and I couldn't even see him.

>> Do you still blame yourself?

>> No, I work through it.

>> Like how long did it take you? Cuz I

have a similar story too.

>> Yeah. Uh I think it took if I had to guess like 3 years. I don't

blame myself for his death now. I still

love the boy.

>> I have a best friend that kind of the same situation. I would always jokingly

same situation. I would always jokingly say like, "Oh my god, I [ __ ] hate you. Like shut up." And his last message

you. Like shut up." And his last message to me was like, "I love you."

and I woke up to a bunch of like missed calls and stuff like that, but I was like, "Oh, you know, like I'll check it later. Like I'll reply to everyone

later. Like I'll reply to everyone later. Like I don't feel like in the

later. Like I don't feel like in the mood for it." And I turn on the TV and there's my best friend. Like he's dead

in his car and stuff like that. Um, and

I blame myself a lot. And that was like one of the first tattoos I got. I got

his birthday. Um, so he's like, you know, he's close to my heart and stuff like that. Like I know he's here like

like that. Like I know he's here like watching over me, but it's still it's still hard that he's gone.

>> Yeah, >> it's hard. Definitely hard.

Definitely hard.

>> I wish I responded and I picked up his calls and I and I went out with him and I talked to him, you know.

But yeah, >> why >> I felt >> What would have changed? You think you could have saved him?

>> I think so. in the sense of like >> you could have maybe saved him that night, but how how how would it have stopped, >> right? See, that's that's what I don't

>> right? See, that's that's what I don't know. And I think

know. And I think >> so I feel like it's you punishing yourself when he probably wouldn't want you to punish yourself.

>> If this is your best friend and he love you as much as you you you think and you say like, do you think he would want you to p Yes or no?

>> No. No. No. No. No. No.

>> So, I hope you get to a point where you realize that. But I just like didn't

realize that. But I just like didn't want my like last words to be that, you know?

>> And it's a regret and it sucks. Like if

I could go back in time, obviously I would love to hang out with my best friend, my brother. I would love to.

Unfortunately, I can't. That's how life goes sometimes. The day that he died,

goes sometimes. The day that he died, bro, that I got called into court, they cut my ankle bracelet off. And I viewed it as this is like I'm not talking about heaven. I'm not talking about God,

heaven. I'm not talking about God, Christianity, or whatever, right? This

is how I know truly spirits exist. After

a year and a half of house arrest, I was looking at 5 years maximum. State

penitent prison, right? Not no soft [ __ ] Dropped all charges. Cut my

bracelet off an hour after he died. And

I viewed it as just like that was the last thing he he ever did for me. Right.

>> Yeah. And whether that be true or not, I know damn well that boy loved me so much that you want to believe in spirituality and and energy and whatever. That was

the last energy he gave me.

I think you're punishing yourself. I

don't think your friend punishes you.

>> Yeah. So, I can relate to you guys a lot cuz my dad passed away like three two or 3 years ago, but we did not really

understand each other before that. So, I

never got the opportunity to actually like talk to him like as an adult. But I

feel like as time went by and like I realized that there's no way of me ever like contacting him and like being able to like talk to him and maybe like forgive ourselves and like try to like

solve things. I just try to like for my

solve things. I just try to like for my own good solve it spiritually like talk to him in your mind and make pieces of him and even if that's not the reality

at least instead of like both people being sad I guess like I get to continue to live my life and feel that love with

other things.

>> Is there a closure you've never got to have? two summers ago, um a family

have? two summers ago, um a family member passed away, which it's not the only reason, but it's like one of the main reasons and like the catalyst, I guess, as to why took such a big leap in

my priorities in life. I was I was the last person to ever talk to my brother.

Um he called my mom and my mom being the Asian mom she is, she basically said like, "I told you so. Like, girls are nothing. Just focus on your studies."

nothing. Just focus on your studies."

basically the worst possible [ __ ] [ __ ] to say to someone [ __ ] depressed and going through a heartbreak. And then

I kind of was like I gave him more advice than kind of empathy, I guess. I

said, "Oh, I understand. I've been

there. Don't worry. Like you'll get you don't want to tell someone that's down that, hey, it'll get better." I ended the call early because I was going on a

trip with my ex. So it's like damn like that that was the last time like like I could ever talk to him and

it's like I I I held a grudge to my mom for so in my head it was I either blame myself or I blame my mom in my solo

one-on-one with Jimmy. I felt definitely more safe to open up about it. Not

because like they made me uncomfortable the night before, but I felt like I would be understood. Maybe for

like a day or two after his passing, I blame my mom. Like why? Like you're if you raised us better, like if you was more emotionally in touch like but like

my mom was also raised by Asian more Asian parents. She doesn't know any

Asian parents. She doesn't know any better. In fact, I am so like proud of

better. In fact, I am so like proud of her to see how much she's actually changed. It went from blame my mom,

changed. It went from blame my mom, blame myself to actually blaming God.

One of my biggest principles I held with Christianity was everything happens for a reason. So to me, believing that so

a reason. So to me, believing that so highly, what what the [ __ ] is your plan with this?

[Music] I used to view him as the devil, bro.

That's why I a lot of my self-hatred was like, I was raised by the devil. I'm

doomed to be evil forever.

>> I grew up in a very abusive household.

um very abusive dad essentially beat me and beat my sister and beat my mom pretty much every day.

>> Every time I [ __ ] up, even if it was a small thing, it would bubble and roll into a snowball until I I I believe I I truly believed myself to I should just myself because I would always end up

hurting people in my life cuz I don't know how to be a good person. I wasn't

taught to be a good person. I wasn't

showed how to be a good person. How are

you supposed to be gentle growing up in a war zone, right?

[Music] I tried to take my own life a couple times and I've definitely went to her

about it, but it uh she didn't care, you know, and I think at that point that's when I knew that there was going to there was never going

to be a relationship and that's just how she is. Maybe my main reason that I'll

she is. Maybe my main reason that I'll never get over my mom because of the stuff that she does to me. Like and I I don't think I could ever forgive her.

>> That's the thing. I don't think like >> But you forgive your dad.

>> Yeah. But I didn't get over like Right.

Right.

>> Right. Like

you know what my dad did. I'll never get over it and I don't want to get over it.

>> Getting over it means that I forgive and forget. Right. Right.

forget. Right. Right.

>> That's that's at least moving on is is that's what it means to me. Or getting

over it. Moving on is different from getting over it. Getting over it diminishes my feelings. Getting over it is diminishing my my pain and my hurt and everything I went through, my experience. I'm trying to speak to your

experience. I'm trying to speak to your soul, right? [ __ ] getting over [ __ ] You

soul, right? [ __ ] getting over [ __ ] You don't get over [ __ ] Trauma, you don't get over trauma. You heal. You move on.

You learn to live with it.

It sucks that it happened. It shouldn't

have happened, but unfortunately, that's what life is. It teaches you lessons.

That's the only saving grace, right? And

it's really really really [ __ ] hard to get over or not get over to to deal with, right? But you don't get over it.

with, right? But you don't get over it.

You learn the lessons. You try to build a life that you're happy with. You try

to love yourself. And some people might have to try harder than other people.

You know, you don't have to get over [ __ ] You don't have to talk to your mom. I don't

have to love my dad. I can hate him. I'm

going to give all my attention to myself, my mom, my sister, my friends, right? That's it.

right? That's it.

[Applause] >> I think you're doing really good job at like one breaking it down.

>> You do an amazing job at articulating these lessons, bro.

>> Only when I'm drunk, brother.

Anybody else wants wants to take >> them? I J Eric Erica especially. I seen

>> them? I J Eric Erica especially. I seen

I heard her peep a single peep.

Um resonates a lot. So

>> Oh [ __ ] Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.

>> I'm sorry. You're good. Um it's also cuz I just came out of a [ __ ] depressive episode. So it's just like I literally

episode. So it's just like I literally just tried to kill myself recently, too.

It was just like a lot of [ __ ] emotions. Sorry. But it's not

emotions. Sorry. But it's not >> I didn't know you were my bad. Yeah,

you're good. You're good. It's not you.

It's not you. It's not you. No, you're

good.

>> You're good. You're good. It's just like literally same family situation. I'm

just the one who had the two parents stuck in that like really like marriage trying to pull it together for their kid. I have both mommy and daddy issues.

kid. I have both mommy and daddy issues.

It's a twoin one. Um but yeah, I just grew up in a household that had a really broken kind of um dynamic

and kind of having to deal and cope throughout the years with those with that sorry um has been really hard. At

least for me it's like I realized I live a lot for the sake of others rather than my own cuz like that's like the biggest especially like mom to daughter. I think

that bond, but like that's what just what makes it so much more painful. And

like >> can I say um what what really helped me was I used to be extremely like whenever people were like you have to forgive your dad like I hated them. And um it was always the same thing. You got to

forgive them. Not for him um but for

forgive them. Not for him um but for yourself and I I I always hated hearing it and I never understood it. Like yeah

no part of me will ever talk to him.

He's he's basically as good as dead to me. But I do pray for him that one day

me. But I do pray for him that one day he does find God.

>> Right. It's not working towards forgiveness though like like all those steps have been done through. It's

literally just trying to like build not even like a healthy but just like build an actual mother daughter relationship.

>> I guess that's where we differ. I don't

want to be in a relationship with the with the person. I I just believe I can't he you can't heal in the in the in the environment that >> Right. That's what I'm saying. But

>> Right. That's what I'm saying. But

that's what I was about to say is like sometimes like I genuinely like do think your family isn't the blood you share but like the blood you're willing to shed for others.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. Yeah,

>> preach sister.

>> And that was a bar. I I learned that same thing >> last night. Obviously, we had a time to kind of open up and bond and kind of get to know each other better. And so, uh,

Vit, Sarah, and I went into the other room just cuz the I think the level of trauma that we shared was a little deeper and a little more in tune. But I

think specifically with Sarah, I just see a lot of myself in her.

My mom beat me like really bad to the point of like death. I remember I think the first time I told her I wanted to myself, she was like, "But you laughed yesterday." She believed in depression

yesterday." She believed in depression in other kids. But when it was her own, she was like, "I didn't do that." My

view shifted like when Erica told me that she like sees herself in me. I used

to have a really good relationship with like my sister and um it it hurt me because like even though she's like

older than me like I I I don't like hearing people go through like similar things but yeah like I hated my dad for such a long time. It took me really long

time to like forgive them.

>> Sometimes I still do think about the things that he's done or said. It's

really hard for me to open up like around like strangers, but my dad was exactly like that, too. And it took me so long to forgive him. They're

old-fashioned, you know?

>> Yeah. But it's never going to hit a person like that really hard, too. And I

got kicked out so many times in my It was really hard.

>> He also a victim of childhood traumas as well.

I just wanted to I just wanted to hug him, but he's not a emotional person or like he doesn't express at all. And even

if like right now I'm having a happy life. I'm so happy but out of nowhere I

life. I'm so happy but out of nowhere I have this like childhood memory where like it was really bad.

>> Yeah. And it just ruins my whole mood and um like I didn't deserve that, you know. I know it's it wasn't my fault,

know. I know it's it wasn't my fault, but >> I think it just hit too close to home.

Like I didn't expect to cry or like at least like open up to like a group of strangers like when we were all talking, but I didn't think that it was going to get that deep. I think like maybe like

two weeks before this show like I try to solve and it's really hard because like I still feel like a child, you know,

especially with co and having to move out at a young age. Like I never really got to have a relationship with my parents, but she doesn't want to talk to

me. And I I know she she didn't want me.

me. And I I know she she didn't want me.

I wish I knew like what I did.

>> Exactly. I cannot do an exercise with you that close your eyes. Okay,

>> close your eyes. Imagine yourself,

right? You picture yourself in your mind at a gate, >> right?

>> You're trying to open the gate. When you

open the gate, that's the lesson you're learning. That's the piece with that

learning. That's the piece with that conversation or with that with that situation right?

>> That's the piece you're looking for.

>> Every time you try to open that gate, it's not opening, right?

You're not ready yet. But, but wait, but wait. But wait,

wait. But wait, >> but you keep trying to open it, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Are you ever going to stop?

>> No.

>> Are you Are you ever going to stop trying to find peace of it? Are you ever going to stop trying to heal from it?

Right.

>> Right.

>> Yeah.

>> And one day that gate will open.

>> Yeah.

>> Stop. As long as you know it's not your fault. It's not a reflection of

fault. It's not a reflection of yourself. It's not nothing you did made

yourself. It's not nothing you did made that happen other than other human beings taking advantage of you. And that

should not bring shame. That should not bring shame. It doesn't make you any

bring shame. It doesn't make you any less of a woman, as a human being, as a daughter, as a friend, as anything. You

are still who you are.

>> Yeah.

>> A beautiful person. Right. When you are ready to receive that lesson and open that gate, right?

>> You know, you're you're literally the strongest person I've ever met in my life.

>> That's saying a lot, Sarah. And

honestly, I lowkey agree with her. [ __ ] my [ __ ] >> No. Yeah, you are strong.

>> No. Yeah, you are strong.

>> You really don't know how strong you are to still be here. I'm dead ass.

>> And I love you for who you are.

>> I'm like happier. Like I feel like weight's been lifted off my shoulder.

Um, and I don't have to carry myself to this extent that like I put myself above. You know what I mean? Like I I

above. You know what I mean? Like I I kind of like viewed everyone. And I was like very scared cuz I didn't want them to see the real me, I guess. Um, but now

they know and like now it's cool. Like

it's all good vibes.

>> Like I'm I'm I'm I'm walking around. I'm

seeing this [ __ ] bro. Like the amount of healing like Sarah was like, I've tried going to a therapist. It doesn't

work. But talking to you guys, >> like because we've gone through the same [ __ ] I feel like I'm healing.

>> Yeah, >> you like y'all did that, bro. It's

beautiful. They're healing, bro.

>> Yeah.

>> Because of shared experiences.

>> He's talking about his [ __ ] but y'all did something special, bro.

>> Bro, it's different. It's because I I think >> like it's bringing tears to my eyes. I'm

like, it's beautiful what y'all accomplished tonight.

Genuinely, >> bro, it's not even us. It's you. Bro,

>> I didn't do [ __ ] >> No, no, no. Listen to me, Vic. I I don't think they're able to heal as much as

they can if it weren't for you.

Healing from your experiences.

>> Just shut the [ __ ] up.

>> No. No. You shut the [ __ ] up.

>> You shut the [ __ ] up, man. Just take the [ __ ] Bro, y'all do something. I'm

dead ass. It's you. It's him. It's him.

It's It's all the background people that allowed us this space, bro. I'm dead

ass.

>> It's not me. I promise. Like, you might >> Hey guys, it's both of you guys. It's

all of us.

>> I I hope everybody heals and and like >> it's beautiful what y'all do tonight.

>> I hope so, too.

[Music] >> You okay?

>> Thank you. Couldn't find any tissues inside.

>> It was just a lot yesterday. Sorry.

It's kind of a mind [ __ ] right now. I'm

going to try my best. I think that's what I always tell myself in every step is again breathe or disassociate a little, gather my thoughts, and then having to go into like um kind of a

relationship setting with people that you just bonded about those experiences with.

Oh, >> I think it would be more weird if like we were just able to suddenly go back into >> That's true.

>> this [ __ ] up show.

>> I'm realizing I have put myself first to be honest. Um, in a lot of ways,

be honest. Um, in a lot of ways, especially I think when it comes to love in particular, right? And that's just something I wanted to kind of explore and see cuz again, I've been single my life for 27 years and sometimes I think

it's a problem. But I'm realizing too that there is a reason why. And to be honest, I always thought it was an issue with me. Like there's something that I'm

with me. Like there's something that I'm lacking or something wrong with me. Why

why can't part like what is it that I'm lacking? Right? But I think this house

lacking? Right? But I think this house is just like a confirmation of like the belief at the core that I've always had is um I'm never busy looking for love because

I'm too busy being love. like I am love like in every aspect and shape and therefore it's not contingent or dependent on someone, right?

>> Yeah. Go back inside, I guess, cuz you have to get ready. Thank you. I really

appreciate it.

>> Yeah. So, I I definitely wasn't expecting it to get that deep, but I I think that's what is like so like I've just taken away as like the most valuable thing from here is really just

that depth of bond that I've been able to develop with the girls um and everyone else in the house as well.

>> Yeah.

[Music] Know I said I'll never think I was a better alone can change the weather my

love be forever but if it's forever [Music] >> like I'm thankful I'm really thankful to like have this experience and like meet these kind of people. I didn't expect to

get so close to like these people like in a short amount of time. So um yeah like I I guess I consider them like as family too.

[Music] I think this moment now shared to the whole world I I can't imagine how many millions of people will see this >> absolutely >> that will also feel that too.

>> All I want to say if I could boil it down to one thing if anybody is out there struggling I promise you I know you hear it all the time [ __ ] gets

better and not only does [ __ ] get better you get better. I went to jail. I was a dead beat. I ODed, bro. I was a bum. I

dead beat. I ODed, bro. I was a bum. I

didn't work. I didn't do [ __ ] I [ __ ] hated myself. But just please, please

hated myself. But just please, please hold on for the better days cuz I promise you they're coming. And you're

going to be very surprised when you realize you're right in the middle of that [ __ ] Dead ass.

>> Oh, can we take a can we take a break real quick? That was really heavy for

real quick? That was really heavy for me. I'm sorry.

me. I'm sorry.

>> Um, yeah. Oh, also like in case like the the house of feelings is not like these are the feelings we talking about. It's

a little bit misleading.

>> Hey, I think this your this is your magnum opus. Like I'm watching this now

magnum opus. Like I'm watching this now and I'm like this right here is a gen like this episode right here is like a genuine masterpiece.

>> I was so immersed in it. Like it felt like I was there. Like that's how that was that like Viet said that was like beautiful. That really was

beautiful. That really was >> it was perfect.

>> That was amazing. I think especially to this point like I I I really wanted to give him flowers because he's arguably gone through a lot of pain and he's able

to just over time just keep reframing things in his head cuz how else are you supposed to live on if you don't make things feel better for yourself, right?

Despite having gone through such traumatic experiences, he had to just keep reframing in his head. Find a way to make peace. find a way to make peace over and over over again until like

right now I'm looking at like a happy person like Vit is >> compared to where he was when I first met him like 3 years ago he was a pretty

like down the dumps mopey guy you know and now seeing him today it's it's like a complete shift in in in in in a person and

>> oh my gosh like I when Brandon actually opened up about his little brother like I teared cleared up a little bit cuz his

story is very similar to mine. Like um I had a little brother and um you know he the last thing that he did was like he

asked me to like add him on Snapchat. He

was only 9 years old and I was like no like go away you're like bothering me.

He's like no please like add me on Snapchat. And then I just like drove

Snapchat. And then I just like drove away cuz I was going on a trip with my ex. And so I went on the trip and then I

ex. And so I went on the trip and then I got a phone call from my mom um saying that he passed away pretty much like the next day. And so yeah, like the first

next day. And so yeah, like the first thing I did after I heard that was to add him on Snapchat, but it was too late.

And I know like as a for a 9-year-old that meant a lot like his sister's like validation and like you know and I still it still like haunts me to this day. And

it's like really interesting. out like

trauma. Um like as Vit said it it gets it gets better, right? Like time does heal all but there are moments when you're just like living life and you're happy and all of a sudden you like think about your traumas like the things

that's happened and it really kind of ruins your day, you know, like you're just never as like bright and like you know happy golucky as you were before

the trauma. Wow. I'm a little like

the trauma. Wow. I'm a little like overwhelmed right now from all the the stories that I heard.

Thank you for sharing yours by the way.

Thank you.

>> Um and then after everybody told their stories, Vid actually went into a room with them like privately and just would just heard them out and just you know

just try to help as you saw like reframe Sarah's outlook on what healing could look like, what change could look like.

>> Wow. I'm Jimmy. Like this is the best.

Like this I don't even have words for how great this >> I cried during this episode, bro. cuz I

think it's like >> Yeah. What triggered that? What was

>> Yeah. What triggered that? What was

that?

>> Um I think it was whenever Ju said uh whenever like she wasn't able to forgive her dad and stuff. And it's like I feel like a lot of especially like um Asian

kids that come from like immigrant families especially in the United States, right? It's a whole different

States, right? It's a whole different culture. It's a whole different

culture. It's a whole different generation. And it's more like it's our

generation. And it's more like it's our parents' first time living too, you know? And so it's like whenever she said

know? And so it's like whenever she said when her dad got mad at her and she's like, "I just wanted to hug him >> to make him feel better, but he just wasn't emotional like that." And it's just like it just shows that there's

still kids at heart, you know, like they >> Sorry, I'm trying not to cry. There's

still kids at heart. And you know, like no matter how old they get, I think there's always going to be that inner child of them that's not like fully healed that they're always going going to revert back to in some way. cuz like

you know how Sarah said that or I think it was Sarah or Erica but one of them said that they've been trying to find a therapist but it just never worked right but the thing is it's so important being able to talk to things with people that can actually relate to you about it

because the difference between therapy and like talking to people who've gone through the same thing is like knowing that you're not alone and I think that's what helps so much you know so I think

that was that was beautiful like very empowering very healing to watch and I think the the one that surprised me most was Erica Um because it's like, you know, the

first few episodes she was very happy, bubbly, like laughing a lot, but like you would have never guessed that she was going through some [ __ ] like this, you know. Um and it took a lot of

you know. Um and it took a lot of courage and I think a lot of um power just to be able to open up like this. So

truly was wonderful.

>> Just keep it short and simple. I blame I was I was a very Christian boy growing up. I was the one that forced my parents

up. I was the one that forced my parents to go to church type [ __ ] I was very uh strong in my faith. But I grew

tremendously bitter and angry and mad at God because of something that he let happen in my life, which is uh letting

my younger brother pass away. So that is uh something I'm still working on and I would love to uh love to uh learn more on how you

personally dealt with that because