becoming social is easy, actually

Okay. Don't tell anyone.

But this video is sponsored by Incogni.

So in case you didn't know how to make friends is actually the most Googled topic on my laptop.

Google will just tell you to reconnect with your old friends wikiHow is just a copy paste Reskin of Google with questionable illustrations.

Reddit comments will tell you to go on meetup websites that no one actually uses in real life.

Or to start a cornhole club.

Social media also probably won't help you.

YouTube is the main reason people don't go outside in the first place.

Tik Tok is literally designed to entertain you when you're alone.

LinkedIn is a dystopian simulation.

Facebook only has people twice your age.

Snapchat messages are from people you don't know.

Discord messages are from people you don't want to know.

Instagram is where you send messages that no one replies to and Tinder is where you schedule dates that no one shows up to.

Which leaves only one real option for making friends, and that's talking to people in real life.

Luckily, after years of failing miserably at this, I figured it out and I came up with 16 different methods that you can pick from based on your personality and what comes naturally to you.

Method 1: Filter out the boring people.

It can often be frustrating to meet a group of people and take weeks or months to realize that your personality really isn't compatible with any of them.

and the solution is to let out your natural, controversial, unfiltered self from the beginning so that you can quickly filter out people who aren't compatible with you.

You shouldn't force it, but if a slightly funny dialog option pops into your head, or if you have a weird opinion, sometimes you should just say it instead of hiding it.

And if some people react positively, congratulations, You've just identified your new potential friends Method 2: the unique interest.

If you've ever been the filler friend who people don't seem to find that interesting or exciting, It's literally just because they don't know enough about you.

So to fix this, Talk to people about your unique interests.

You might not think people care, but even if you're into something niche like pressure washing driveways, At least people will have something to remember you by.

When they first meet you, Just make sure that you explain your interest to people in a way they can understand without using big words and without getting into the complex stuff.

If you can sense that the other person is bored, it means it's probably time to ask them about one of their interests.

Method 3: Be outside of your head.

Have you ever been in a group setting where everyone's talking and you don't know when to interject or even what to say? Man, I've been quiet for a while.

What are people thinking about me right now?

What do I even see? Do I have aura right now? quick.

What tips can I use from that- that one video with Jordan Peterson in the thumbnail?

this is overthinking.

Also known as getting in your head. Overthinking is what happens when you get a thought.

Then you think about it. Then filter it.

Then imagine yourself saying it.

Then modify it and approve it.

And then send it out your mouth just to mumble it because the conversation's already moved on.

But being outside of your head just means taking in the conversation.

Getting thoughts, but not thinking them over too much.

Just say them.

And even if you say something cringe, see it not as a failure, but as practice. Method 4: Don't force it.

when you feel like you need to force friendships with people who don't even like you.

You feel pressure, and pressure leads to anxiety, which leads to not being your natural self.

So if someone doesn't really care about you or you have absolutely nothing in common with them and you're not compatible, it's not the end of the world.

Just be as nice as you can and move on.

and at this point, it's a numbers game.

So as long as you talk to new people, you will make new friends eventually.

Method 5: be the main character.

the people who have the most friends tend to be the people who initiate conversations the most.

So just initiate conversations with any sentence you could possibly think of.

Just assuming that everyone wants to talk to you.

But remember, once you initiate, don't just talk about yourself.

Ask simple questions about people's lives.

Listen.

And then ask follow up questions that show you actually listened to them.

this part is crucial because eventually, once people get comfortable talking to you, they'll start initiating conversations with you.

Method 6: be a side character.

The book How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the only books on social skills that actually works.

I feel like books on social skills always try and teach you how to scientifically hack people's brains into producing oxytocin molecules by maintaining a 3-to-1 eye-contact- to-look-away ratio, or by strategically touching this part of the shoulder.

But in this book, the main piece of advice is that people tend to be mostly interested in themselves.

If you want someone to like you, make them feel important, compliment them, say their name when you initiate a conversation, act happy when they walk in the room, remember things about them, and ask questions about them as if their life is really important to you.

Method 7: Be the transparent friend.

One big roadblock for getting to know someone well is when no one is sharing or saying anything out of their comfort zone.

if you're just having safe, polite conversations with someone where you both hide your deeper thoughts and emotions, you probably won't build up much trust with them.

So try to make your conversations more transparent.

And this doesn't mean go up to people and ask them their deepest, darkest regret from their childhood.

instead, A great place to start is, Hey, do you want to hang out sometime?

Because that's being transparent.

That reveals that at least you kind of think the other person is cool.

And saying that kind of thing will slowly bring down the brick wall between you and someone you don't know that well.

Now on to Method 8: the injury update.

people love when you can empathize with their pain and actually seem to care.

But usually when you ask, How are you?

Everyone just says by default. Good.

Or if they're feeling daring. Fine.

So instead for this technique, directly ask people if there's anything that's been bothering them recently.

Maybe they have a physical injury that they need to complain to someone about.

Maybe someone made them mad and they need to vent.

Or maybe they've been having a bad day and they just need someone to talk to.

don't need to be a therapist, but you just need to care.

Number 9: The Group Chat.

If you meet new people really often but can't convert them into your friends, this is for you.

Obviously what you need to do is hang out with them regularly.

But for that, you need some kind of way to contact them.

So if you ever get a chance to do some activity with at least three or four people and you feel like everyone had a good time, immediately create a group chat, make sure that you are the first one to suggest the idea And if you need a reason, just see it so that you can get together and do the same thing tomorrow or next week.

That way you get everyone's number.

And even if the group chat goes quiet, you still have a bunch of people you could potentially ask to hang out with whenever you want.

Method 10: do them a favor.

It's often said that friendship is about two people who provide value to each other.

So when you meet new people, you could use the conversation to figure out how you could be valuable to them.

Maybe you're an expert at something they need help with.

Maybe you might have a common interest with them.

Or maybe you're just nice to them.

And if they return the favor or they act really nice towards you, that's probably a good potential friend.

method 11: Ask them for a favor.

Here's some examples of things you could ask.

Could you tell me where this place is?

Could you watch my stuff for a minute?

Or even could you introduce me to this person?

because not only does this show them you trust them, but this allows them to look really nice and generous without much effort.

And also people like to feel useful, But whatever you do, don't constantly expect favors from people.

If you never do anything nice for anyone, because that's not friendship.

That's just networking.

Method 12: Pickup Line.

this is a method I personally use, If I'm in a group of strangers and I need to start a conversation fast to avoid being alone, I just think of a question that everyone could probably answer and then just go up to different people and ask that question.

It's actually pretty easy because you already know what to say, Every time you go up to someone, and everyone will have a different answer that you can naturally lead into a conversation.

Then, of course, that opens up space for you to ask better questions about where they're from, who they know, and what they like to do.

all because you had the courage to just ask that first random question.

Method 13: The Iso-Play.

If you're often in a big group and you get overwhelmed feeling like you have to talk to everyone, this is for you.

An Iso-Play in basketball is a common play where you pick out one of the easiest defenders from the other team and try to take them on one on one And to do this in real life, find someone in the group who isn't talking that much and start a side conversation with them only if you have to take them somewhere so that you can talk one on one.

Make up some excuse.

Like asking them to help you with something.

This will make them feel special and important.

And if you do this over time with everyone in the group, eventually you'll kind of know everyone decently.

Method 14: Act like you're already friends.

There's a saying that goes.

If you go looking to find friends, you'll find very few.

But if you go looking to be a friend, you'll find many.

so, instead of trying to find people who will treat you like a friend, you go out instead and treat people like a friend as soon as you meet them.

You can do this by flying past the awkward and polite stage and just going to the stage where you're lighting up every time you see someone.

You're making fun of them like a friend would.

You're saying their name a lot. You're patting them on the back.

You're playing fighting with each other.

And in general, you're treating them like someone you've known for a while.

this is one of the most powerful methods.

But as always, be careful because with great power comes great potential to be weird.

Method 15: The Activity Buddy.

When you meet someone, ask them something.

They've always wanted to do but haven't gotten around to doing.

then offer to do that thing with them.

This way you're basically asking them to hang out, but it doesn't seem desperate because it's framed as you doing a favor for them.

Plus, this is a perfectly normal reason for you to get their number.

And it works on everyone.

And lastly, method 16, which is the fastest possible method we currently know of.

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if this helped you, I'll be taking donations in the form of subscribes to fund the next video.