Before You Start Therapy, Watch This: The Neuroscience Behind Real Healing

If you've been thinking about starting therapy, there's something you need to know before you book your first session.

The very first weeks can feel unexpectedly intense. Your mind begins

unexpectedly intense. Your mind begins to open the door on thoughts with all their memories and emotions you've kept buried, and the release can be a lot to

handle. Without understanding why it's

handle. Without understanding why it's happening, you might decide therapy isn't for you before it even has had the chance to help you. Therapy isn't magic.

It works when you're actively involved.

Without that, it can even push you in the wrong direction. The results depend on two things. You control. What you do between sessions and how honest you are

during them. If you hold back key

during them. If you hold back key details, your therapist is working with an incomplete picture, which can lead to advice that doesn't fit you. There's

also something most people aren't prepared for, the activation dip. It is

a stage where your mind starts bringing non-concious patterns into your conscious awareness. That spike in

conscious awareness. That spike in emotional intensity is a sign that your healing work has begun. But if you don't know, it can feel like you're moving

backwards. In this episode, I'm going to

backwards. In this episode, I'm going to show you how to spot the activation dip, what to do when it hits, and how to make therapy work harder for you so you can

keep going until the real breakthroughs happen. I want you to understand why

happen. I want you to understand why this happens, what it means for your progress, and how you can work with it instead of stepping away too soon. When

you begin therapy, you are giving your mind permission to bring nonscious patterns into your conscious awareness.

These patterns include thoughts, their embedded memories, and attached emotions, and physical warning signals that have been part of your internal experience for years. As they move into

awareness, the intensity can spike. This

is a predictable stage, a temporary spike in emotional intensity as your conscious mind embraces the processes and integrates material that was previously suppressed. Without

previously suppressed. Without understanding this, it is easy to misread it. You might feel you're

misread it. You might feel you're getting worse when in fact your mind is surfacing essential data so that you can reconceptualize it. That process is the

reconceptualize it. That process is the foundation for sustainable change.

This stage matters because it's a common point where people step away. Many leave

early simply because the intensity caught them off guard. When you know it's normal, temporary, and part of the healing journey, you can prepare for it, making it far more likely that you'll

see the process through. Therapy does

work best when you are actively involved before, during, and between sessions. In

help in a hurry, I share how setting intentional goals for what you want to address and reflecting on them in writing between sessions builds

momentum. The work you do on your own,

momentum. The work you do on your own, reviewing notes, reflecting on insight, recording warning signals, creates the mental framework that makes therapy much more effective. There are two

more effective. There are two controllable factors that determine whether you make the most of therapy.

Honesty and engagement. without holding

important details. Withholding important

details, even unintentionally means your therapist is working with incomplete information. Engagement means actively

information. Engagement means actively applying what you discuss, noting shifts in your emotions, behaviors, and bodily signals and bringing these observations

into your sessions. Warning signals are cues from your mind and body that a thought pattern needs attention. They

can be emotional like irritability or physical like lightness in your shoulders or behavioral like avoiding tasks and the fourth your perspectives

like thinking life sucks. If you notice and record these even one of each type for 3 to seven days this gives your therapist accurate concrete data to work

with because these signals take you to the thought that needs to be reconstructed.

I have seen many people begin therapy, feel the intensity rise, and assume it means they're not ready. Others filter

what they share, thinking they are protecting themselves. Both of these

protecting themselves. Both of these limit what's possible. Therapy is most powerful when it has accurate unfiltered data and when sessions are paired with

consistent personal follow through. This

stage is temporary. It can last days or weeks, but it's meant to be processed with support and clear repeatable steps.

This is when specific memories, interpretations, and patterns in how these show up in your life come into view so you can work with them directly.

You can then sort, restructure, and integrate them in ways that serve you.

When you understand this going into therapy, you are less likely to step away at the point of greatest potential.

You will be prepared to handle temporary discomfort because you know part of moving forward. So to prepare for this

moving forward. So to prepare for this stage, try this simple three-part practice from Help and Hurry. Number

one, observe one emotional, one physical, and one behavioral and one perspective warning signal daily. Number

two, write a short context note for each, which starts pulling up the thought that those signals are actually attached to. Number three, review these

attached to. Number three, review these before your next session. This builds an accurate map for you and your therapist to actually follow. You can also create

a first session prep list. Define one

goal for therapy, write one question you want answered, and identify one habit you would like to change. This gives

your sessions immediate focus and direction. Here's an example. Imagine

direction. Here's an example. Imagine

someone who notices their shoulders tensing every time a certain topic is raised in conversation. They also feel a burst of irritation and later realized they avoided responding to an email

related to that topic. These are three connected warning signals, physical, emotional, and behavioral. By noting

them for several days, patterns emerge and therapy can target the root issue faster. Here's another example. Before

faster. Here's another example. Before

your first session, write down a short timeline of a recent situation that caused distress. Include what happened,

caused distress. Include what happened, what you were thinking, and how this felt in your body, how you felt, and how you reacted. This makes it easier to

you reacted. This makes it easier to share specifics without forgetting the details in the moment. You can pair this with a brief daily reflection, almost as though you're stepping outside of

yourself and observing yourself. And you

can do this at the same time each day.

Keep it under 5 minutes to ensure consistency. And over time, this creates

consistency. And over time, this creates a record of your inner experiences that you can bring into therapy, a living map of your progress and challenges.

Remember, the more specific your input, the more targeted and effective your therapist's guidance can be. The early

stage of therapy is your chance to build the habit of bringing rich, accurate information into every session. Before

we talk about how to handle the temporary spike in emotional intensity, I want to walk you through exactly what's happening in your mind and brain during this stage. This isn't abstract

theory. It's practical signs you can use

theory. It's practical signs you can use to stay grounded when things feel totally overwhelming. Your mind is not

totally overwhelming. Your mind is not your brain. One of the most important

your brain. One of the most important things you can hear me say, your mind is your ability to think and feel and choose. Your brain on the other hand is

choose. Your brain on the other hand is the physical organ that responds to and reflects what your mind is doing. When

you begin therapy and start paying closer attention to your internal world, your mind begins to bring non-concious data into your conscious awareness. That

data is stored as energy and chemical and protein networks in your mind, brain, and body. Three places. It's made

up of thoughts with their embedded memories, attached emotions, perspectives, physical sensations, all linked together. These

linked together. These psychonurabiological networks can include both helpful and unhelpful patterns. The unhelpful ones are often

patterns. The unhelpful ones are often the ones that cause the most discomfort when they surface. And that discomfort isn't a sign that you're failing. It is

a sign that your mind is actively working on material you have pushed down. In help in a hurry, I explain that

down. In help in a hurry, I explain that these signals are invitations to do the work of reconceptualization, which is examining and restructuring the way you have been interpreting an

experience. So, it no longer controls

experience. So, it no longer controls you in the same way. You experience it as increased emotional intensity, increased physical tension, increased

reactive behaviors, and often intrusive thoughts. These are the warning signals

thoughts. These are the warning signals I mentioned earlier. They are not random. They are evidence and data that

random. They are evidence and data that your mind is in an active processing state and your brain and body are responding to that state. This can feel

destabilizing, especially if you weren't expecting it. Many people feel like

expecting it. Many people feel like they're losing control or falling apart, but what's really happening is that your awareness is expanding. You are seeing

more of the picture, which means you can work with it more effectively.

inside your brain. This process is supported by neuroplasticity, the mind's ability to change the brain in response to how you direct your mind.

As you become aware of a thought pattern, you can begin to weaken the old wiring that supports and build new wiring with a healthier association.

This isn't instant. It's like learning a new skill. Repeated deliberate practice

new skill. Repeated deliberate practice leads to lasting change. For example, if you have always responded to criticism with anger, that reaction is part of a

thought emotional physical response network. In therapy, you might uncover

network. In therapy, you might uncover that the anger is tied to a deep belief inside a thought that you are unsafe when you are judged. When you recognize

this, you can start deconstructing that old pattern and reconstructing a new one and then practicing the new responses over time. Each time you do this, you

over time. Each time you do this, you are training your brain to default to a different pathway. Okay? Over the next 3

different pathway. Okay? Over the next 3 days, write down one emotional, one physical, one behavioral, and one perspective warning signal each time you

notice them. Next to each one, jot a

notice them. Next to each one, jot a sentence about the situation you were in at the time you noticed your signal. At

your next therapy session, share these with your therapist and discuss one small change you can try in similar situations.

The simple act gives your mind and brain a concrete target for change. Then write

one sentence about what thought you think these signals are coming from.

Write how you responded and one sentence about how you'd like to respond the next time. This adds a layer of intentional

time. This adds a layer of intentional rehearsal which strengthens the new wiring in your brain even before you face that situation again. You don't

need to do this perfectly. You just need to stay present enough to notice what's happening. Label it and take small steps

happening. Label it and take small steps to respond differently. That's how the brain learns from the mind's direction.

In the next part of the segment, I'm going to break down the exact steps you can take when you notice these warning signals in real time so you can turn the activation stage into a turning point

rather than a roadblock. Now that you understand what's happening in your mind and brain when warning signals surface, let's focus on what to do in the exact moment you notice them. This is where

theory meets action. The steps you take in those first few minutes can determine whether you build new healthy patterns or reinforce old ones. The first step is

awareness. The moment you catch a

awareness. The moment you catch a warning signal, whether it's a feeling, a perspective, a physical sensation, or a behavior, pause long enough to

acknowledge it. You don't need to judge

acknowledge it. You don't need to judge it or explain it right away. Simply

recognizing it gives your mind a foothold to work from. In Help in a Hurry, I emphasize that this recognition is like turning on a light in a dark room. It lets you see what's there so

room. It lets you see what's there so you can decide how to address it. Next,

name the category of the signal. Is it

emotional? Is it physical? Is it

behavioral? Is it perspective? Giving it

a category helps you organize the information your mind is surfacing. If

you notice your jaw tightening, which is physical, while thinking, "I can't handle this," which is emotional, you now have two entry points for change.

From here, capture a short description of the situation in writing or voice notes. It doesn't need to be perfect.

notes. It doesn't need to be perfect.

That record is valuable because it moves the experience out of your head and into a format you can work with in your next therapy session. It is also a process of

therapy session. It is also a process of externalizing, empowering you to self-regulate.

The third step is to re-anchor yourself in the present. In helping a hurry, I guide you to identify one constructive action you can take in that moment.

Something small, something doable. This

could be standing up to change your posture, asking a clarifying question in a conversation, or taking one slow breath to steady your voice before responding. Each microaction is a signal

responding. Each microaction is a signal to your brain that you are responding differently and it begins to wire in that new pattern because your brain just does what your mind tells it to do.

Fourth, set a quick intention for how you want to handle this pattern in the future. Write one sentence. Next time I

future. Write one sentence. Next time I will. This forwardlooking statement

will. This forwardlooking statement primes your mind like an insurance policy almost to recognize similar situations and choose the new response more quickly. To make this even more

more quickly. To make this even more effective, schedule a 2 to three minute review at the end of the day. Look at

your notes from any warning signals you captured during the day and check for the patterns. Are certain triggers

the patterns. Are certain triggers showing up repeatedly. Are you noticing any change in how you respond?

This reflection not only strengthens memory but also makes it easier to track progress with your therapist. A real

life example. Okay, you're in a situation and imagine you often feel a wave of anxiety before sending an important email. That wave of anxiety is

important email. That wave of anxiety is the emotional warning signal. Then you

notice that your heart rate's increasing. That's the physical warning

increasing. That's the physical warning signal. Then you might become aware of

signal. Then you might become aware of the thought, I'll sound unprofessional.

Then you notice the action that you're taking, which is putting off the task.

I'm not going to send the email. That's

the behavioral warning signal. And

finally, you notice your perspective signal, your attitude. Using the process I've described, you can capture all four of these signals. Take one constructive step like drafting the first sentence

and set an intention to repeat that small step next time. Over weeks, that intention becomes a reliable new pathway because you are developing your skill of self-regulation, which is key to finding

peace in chaos. Remember, you are not aiming for perfection. You are building consistency.

Each time you work through these steps, you are reshaping how your brain responds to challenging situations. And

the more you do it, the more automatized it will become. Thank you for joining me and I look forward to seeing you next time. If this podcast has helped you,

time. If this podcast has helped you, which I hope it has done, I'd really love it if you take the time to subscribe and follow me and also share this podcast with someone who you know needs the help. I have something really

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