Brian Says “Quality Time” Is the DUMBEST Love Language (Here’s Why)

Yes.

>> Oh, you like the praise kink. Got it.

>> What do you mean the praise?

>> You like to get praised as a man.

>> Well, I mean, >> if we're talking about the the five love five love languages.

>> Yeah, of course.

>> Acts of service.

>> Yeah, exactly.

>> Uh words of affirmation. Sure.

>> Physical touch. And then gift giving.

>> Quality time.

>> Oh, that's my favorite.

>> What? Wait, what is quality time? I'm

not totally sure. being beside each other even if you're not doing anything.

Like I completely disagree.

>> Is that quality time?

>> Wait, I feel like it's like >> what is quality time to you?

>> Quality time is like doing an activity.

Like let's go ice skating. Let's go rock climbing. Let's go kaying. Let's do

climbing. Let's go kaying. Let's do

something. Make memories. But I don't even I don't even consider watching a movie like quality time cuz you're just watching something. You're not even

watching something. You're not even talking to each other.

>> True.

>> You're just kind of watching the same thing together.

>> No, I I think that's quality time.

Watching a movie. watching a TV show.

>> I like it, but there's a lack of connection and I really value connection like with the people I date.

>> And I also Sorry if it's >> Go ahead.

>> Um and I also agree in some way, shape, or form because um kind of just laying around together doing nothing doesn't really progress or build a relationship.

>> I think I think it does. That's my

go-to.

>> I mean, not all the time. You want to go on a date.

>> I mean, if you can avoid it, I mean, why not?

>> You don't want to spend time with her.

>> No, spend time with her. But you know, look, uh, the great Patrice O'Neal, rest in peace, he was a famous comedian, passed away, uh, young, he said something along the lines of, and I'm about to [ __ ] butcher it, so let me

Google what he actually said before I [ __ ] it up more than I already have. Uh,

Patrice O'Neal, uh, women around I'm Wait, what is it? Quote, hold on.

>> Well, he's looking it up. I like playing like video games with another with another guy. Even if it's different,

another guy. Even if it's different, >> like >> somebody in the chat send it.

>> I love playing Clash Royale.

>> Yeah, too.

>> So fun.

>> Or like even if it's like separate, like you don't like separate, but if I'm cooking or like someone like he's on the couch. I feel like that's still a little

couch. I feel like that's still a little bit of quality time. I disagree.

>> I feel like you shouldn't have to be speaking if you have a real connection.

Like I feel like I should just be there.

>> Silence. You don't necessarily have to, but it's definitely more engaging in a relationship.

>> Yeah, you don't have to. Like, there

doesn't need to always be talk, but I wouldn't consider that quality time.

>> Okay.

>> I'm still looking for it.

>> I think it's different for different people. Like, I am way more of an

people. Like, I am way more of an introvert. Um, as is my boyfriend, and

introvert. Um, as is my boyfriend, and we both have like a million hobbies, a million things we like to do. Um, and we can be doing different tasks or different activities, but in the same

room. And I think the difference is

room. And I think the difference is whether or not you are, you know, taking breaks to engage with the other person.

So I'll go to his shop, he'll be fixing up his truck. I'll be sitting and crocheting like a little basket for it.

And I'm just adoring him watching him fix up a truck. He's adoring me just kind of sitting and crocheting. And

that's Yeah. Then we can like chat about it. And so I don't think you always have

it. And so I don't think you always have to be talking. Um, and I don't think you always have to be experiencing the same activity as long as there's a a

difference in your perception of, you know, that when you're together and doing that activity when you're alone.

>> And even the topics of conversation that are shared can also in some way be a shared experience when talking about new things or getting to know each other in some way, shape, or form. So, I'm kind of on both sides of it.

>> Yeah. Like if you watch a movie together, you know, it might be not be considered quality time, but if you sit after and like talk about the movie and like treat it as like a true piece of like media consumption versus just kind

of zoning out, then that's when it becomes quality is the the intentionality behind it.

>> I agree.

>> I found the quote, "Men want to be alone, but we don't want to be by ourselves." Mhm.

ourselves." Mhm.

>> So, it's kind of nice like, you know, if the girl's like around the corner, >> like she's there but like in the kitchen or something.

>> So, you don't like clingy >> or in the laundry room. Huh?

>> You don't like clingy girls?

>> Cling. Clingy.

>> Clingy. Like attached.

>> Clingy.

>> Physically like attached and stuff.

>> What do you mean?

>> Like clingy girls like Yeah. Like she

always wants to hang out with you, always wants to sit next to you, >> always missing you, wanting to be around you. that you have to be engaged every

you. that you have to be engaged every moment that you're together. And when

you're not together, she wants you to >> Why aren't you paying attention?

>> Engaged. Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> I mean, I think it's good for a woman to be obsessed with you, but um she needs that needs to be like an internal thing that she copes with.

>> Like I don't like I don't know. I don't

want it to be encroaching on my autonomy and my uh too much of my time.

>> Yeah. jealous. Sorry. Go ahead.

>> Don't even >> like she gets jealous easily but like won't let you know when she's jealous cuz she knows that maybe she shouldn't be jealous at times.

>> Or just not be jealous to begin with.

>> Harder said that's got to be like a huge cheated on me in my dream. I would be mad.

>> Oh kind of weird. But I've heard girls say that though. They get all upset at you because you cheated in the dream.

It's like [ __ ] I couldn't What was I supposed to do?

>> It feels really real. It does. You guys

can be mean in dreams. >> And that's what you guys have to apologize for. It still hurt our feel.

apologize for. It still hurt our feel.

>> We have to apologize for the dream cheating.

>> Can we over?

>> Yeah.

>> Brian, you cheated on me in my dream.

I'm really upset about it.

>> Put him in Put a role play right now.

>> Dark.

>> Like, do you do you apologize?

>> But yeah, quality time. I Yeah, I don't know about quality time to be honest. I

don't know what that means though. What

does that mean?

>> Hanging out. Okay.

>> I think quality time is just time together that to me it's quality. If

there's no bad vibes, so it doesn't matter if you're like >> caught up in whatever you're doing. As

long as like the energy isn't bad, I think that's quality time.

>> Yeah. Phone down. Phone down. Just

hanging out.

>> Mhm.

>> We're having some quality time right now.

>> Yeah, we're having some quality time right now.

>> Oh yeah.

>> I think a more general explanation of it in my personal opinion is just enjoying each other's presence, >> you know.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah. Yeah, I guess you wouldn't enjoy it if the vibes were bad.

>> Yeah.

>> But yeah, the other four love languages, physical touch, words of affirmation, gift giving, uh acts of service. Yes to all those.

Quality time. Eh, whatever.

What does you know?

>> You don't have a top pick.

>> Uh acts of service.

>> I knew it.

>> Acts of service.

>> I feel like that's >> if she's doing [ __ ] for me.

>> That's a common one for men.

>> Mhm.

>> Yeah. if she can if she can make a quilt or something.

>> Don't men like being like acts of service for women, too? They like

feeling like useful and powerful.

>> I like to be as useless as possible for a woman.

>> That's crazy.

>> Just at the beginning just to see just to get a little temperature check, you know, make sure she No, I'm just kidding. Sort of. But, um, you'd have to

kidding. Sort of. But, um, you'd have to ask my ex-girlfriend about that.

>> Do you like quilting? I quilt.

>> I don't at all. But

>> Well, you're missing out then.

>> I can just buy one on Amazon of Superior. They're made with love.

Superior. They're made with love.

Would you accept one from her?

>> Um, you should have honestly brought one with you. I'm kind of upset that you

with you. I'm kind of upset that you didn't.

>> I'm sorry. I'll give you my scarf.

>> Only, by the way, shout out to uh shout out to you. She made cookies.

>> Cookies. I've already had two and they're very good.

>> You already ate one.

>> Is that what you off to do?

>> I Yes. I I I also use the bathroom, too.

The trick is to uh swap one quarter of your flour with oats and then extra brown sugar, less regular sugar, and extra vanilla.

>> I should be demanding all the women to come on the show to bring me some sort of food item. Like a king like Yes. Like

Exactly. sourdough bread, you know. I

don't know. The women very rarely the women will bring a gift and it's very upsetting to me.

>> I gave you $3.

>> I was pissed off at all of you for not bringing a gift. It was upsetting.

>> Uh Wait, what were we talking about? How

does it get to the acts of >> your standards? Like what else are your standards?

>> You were asking me. Okay, Brian, with the podcast, has it impacted dating?

>> Uh, yeah, definitely. Some women,

>> no go. Cuz I lean more conservative. I'm

I wouldn't consider myself a radical, unlike chair one over here.

>> But, um, >> but wouldn't that be more beneficial for you because you would like your partner to have the same views as you for them to come?

>> Yeah. No, that's a that's a good point.

That is a fair question. I I obviously would want to uh be with somebody where there's an alignment of values, but I

think that um obviously I think even for maybe people who it's going to close the door for some people just because they don't want to

uh what what's the right term? Proxy

drama. Like if you're doing online [ __ ] like I get death threats, I get uh hate mail. I have [ __ ]

mail. I have [ __ ] major publications. Hey, we're They

major publications. Hey, we're They don't say this. We're We're writing a hit piece on you. Do you care to comment? Like, so then it's like, okay,

comment? Like, so then it's like, okay, they're going to do some [ __ ] >> They don't want to be in the splash zone.

>> Yeah. Someone did tell me to kill myself in the street today.

>> Nice times.

>> Nice.

>> Yeah. So, I mean, I think um >> Nice. I mean, I'm very private with my

>> Nice. I mean, I'm very private with my uh dating life, but uh there's still it can still have some degree of impact and uh

>> Yeah. No, it's it's close the door, I'd

>> Yeah. No, it's it's close the door, I'd say, for some people. Yeah.

>> Like before, you know, back before I started the podcast, I was and I I actually have become more conser a bit more conservative. Uh I don't I don't

more conservative. Uh I don't I don't think I'm too crazy with it. Depends on

who you ask. But before I started the podcast, I considered myself a bit more moderate.

And you know, trying to date in Southern California, look, I'll be honest.

If you want [ __ ] you got to hide some you got to hide a little bit of your political leanings.

You can't be like, "Listen, listen."

Okay? Uh, you know, you got Look, I'm not trying to be [ __ ] celibate here.

I can't just f [ __ ] first date. Just

by the way, um I don't know. Look, I've

had some bad dating experiences with some liberal women. I'll tell you that much. Had some bad experiences. You

that much. Had some bad experiences. You

know, one time I brought a bottle. Not

this one exactly, but >> plastic.

>> Literally, I'm not even joking. It's not

even like I made this up. The girl

torpedoed the date because I I brought a plastic water ball to the date. She was

like, "That's really environmentally uh inappropriate or I don't know the term."

term." >> Was she vegan?

>> I'm not sure, honestly. And then I argued with her for 10 minutes and then yeah, that didn't go well.

>> And then one time, oh, uh, a girl I was seeing for a brief period. This was the summer of love during the BLM riots. I

didn't post a black square.

And uh she she this girl I'd been seeing for it was short, like one or two months. I didn't post the black square. She's like, "You going to post

square. She's like, "You going to post the black square?" I was like, >> "No, I'm good." And then she broke up with me.

>> Oh [ __ ] >> I didn't post the black square.

>> I think the black square was very performative.

>> I agree.

>> Yeah.

>> Did you post regularly on Instagram?

>> No, not really. I wasn't really >> That's a green flag, I think.

>> Yeah. I don't really >> I agree. If I didn't do content, I probably wouldn't even have an Instagram, to be honest.

>> I love Instagram. I gota I have my real fix, you know.

>> Yeah. You got some funny [ __ ] on your Instagram.

>> Thank you.

>> You got some funny Can you Can you lay on the accent a little thicker for us?

>> I mean, if you want to, I can.

>> I didn't. That's it.

>> Huh?

>> How do you want me to What do you want me to say?

>> Have you ever wrangled a cow before?

>> I have.

>> On a horseback?

>> Yeah, actually. Have you ever uh had chewed tobaca?

>> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> You got you got a bucket for that?

>> I got a I got a spit bucket right here for you.

>> You got a spit bucket right there. [ __ ] >> I use my plastic water bottle.

>> Plastic do the drip.

>> No, you got a I got a handmade one.

Someone sent me.

>> You got to make sure that you put a napkin in it so it's not all, you know.

>> Well, that's good.

>> Yeah, >> but I should write that down.

>> Writing this down right now. I should uh I should Next show, Mary, remind me.

I'll show my girlfriend application.

It's intense. It's like

I've had I've had some girls DM me and I send that [ __ ] >> Oh [ __ ] >> And they're like >> I'm good. They changed their mind. And

I'm like, "Oh, this is what