Building Capacity: A Journey of Self-Assessment | Austin Attaway | TEDxClaremontGraduateUniversity

[Applause] so this talk came about because all throughout my life I kept getting the same question how do you do

it being a full-time PhD student being the CEO of a mental health

clinic teaching a full course load as a professor as well as volunteering for my University and my city in various other

roles I've never really had an answer to that question for people in my life so today is my first attempt at genuinely trying to answer it and I want to start

by defining a concept called bounded rationality this idea posits that when we make decisions from as small as to what to have for breakfast

to whether or not to quit our jobs or pursue higher education we're doing so with limited information under cognitive biases and

in a finite time frame and I think this idea extends to our physical

mental emotional and social capacities as well when I was 17 I dropped out of high school a

combination of biological mental and social factors led to what eventually became a suicide attempt I felt like a sunflower that

could not find the Sun and after a few weeks in an impatient facility I realized a few

things one I have some of the best parents that anyone could ask for two our Mental Health Care Systems need

serious restructuring and three I was participating in the wrong environments to truly

Prosper my capacities however shaped by my environment were also being bounded by

it I couldn't take advantage of the opportunities around me let alone see them now I think it's important to

quickly Define what I mean by capacity capacity in its Essence is our ability to grow achieve and overcome the

challenges that we face in our lives and there's two trains of thought around this idea one argu ues for a fixed

mindset that our capacities and our abilities and potential are IM malleable the other argues for a growth mindset that our abilities and potential are

malleable and I want to bridge these two perspectives together for us today into an idea that I call bounded capacity going Beyond

decision-making this idea posits that our capacities and abilities do have certain limits whether they're true

limits or limits that we place on ourselves for example I have a mild and chronic form of

scoliosis I'm 5'9 and I do not have a natural inclination to physical Sports so even if I gave it my all starting this weekend I'm not getting drafted in

the NBA I'm okay with that really but could I drink more water could I eat healthier

could I exercise more frequently absolutely this is the difference between true capacity and growth capacity and I think

it extends to our emotional mental and social capacities as well when we talk about capacity we tend to think of it as a cup

that we fill I think it's at least four different cups each with a different shape size and

capacity for us to fill and you might be thinking how do I even figure out what my cups are it has to start with an

honest self assessment for me acknowledging Where I Stood mentally emotionally physically and socially was a

challenge but it is the starting point for self-innovation and personal growth my therapist helped me Identify some of

my bigger hurdles because professional help is okay to get they don't do the work for you but they equip you with the right tools to do it yourself from

suicidality to emotional immaturity egocentrism and impostor syndrome I'm running my Gauntlet and I

challenge you to do the same in high school I was barely a c average student during my undergraduate journey I

climbed up to a b average and it wasn't until my PhD where I finally became an a average student

change takes hard work and continuous feedback from our friends family and mentors if somebody gives you feedback

that person cares about you people who care about us will be happy to give us honest feedback if you're struggling with

social capacity quick little exercise you can do is grab a piece of scratch paper draw a few rings with yourself in the center and ask yourself the

following questions who is closest to you on that inner ring who's further out do you want to bring it anybody closer do you need to distance yourself

from anybody this can offer us insights into the breadth and depth of our social support

systems our social support systems are vital for minimizing the negative impact of our worst days and our Rock

bottoms when I started being more intentional about connecting with friends and family and going to the gym gy more regularly and checking in with my therapist more

frequently My overall capacity shot up this is because of the interconnectedness of the four

capacities the growth or neglect in one can significantly impact the others both positively and negatively when we raise our physical capacity we're not just

increasing our physical well-being we're enhancing our emotional capacity by reducing anxiety we're enhancing our

mental capacity by improving our focus when we enhance our mental capacity we also improve our emotional capacity by becoming more empathetic and

understanding of others which in turn can increase our social capacity when I started realizing my capacities it shown up throughout my entire life people would ask me

questions like how do you do so many things when do you sleep at night do you have a secret twin that you split all of your work

with to me these questions are a form of feedback they tell me that I am finding my

capacity and when I feel myself slipping like on the verge of burnout I take a step back I reassess and I

adjust and I became good at the self assessment part because I got comfortable making mistakes I actually like making mistakes because I think it's the best time to

learn I got so good at making mistakes and so comfortable making mistakes that I decided to become a scientist to get paid to make mistakes and learn from

them but not all of our mistakes or all of our days are going to be good ones which is why I want to end on the science of

self-compassion because more often than not our harshest critic is up here self-compassion is comprised of

three components mindfulness common humanity and self-kindness these three help us Foster an Environ within ourselves of resilience and

wellbeing regardless of our external environment mindfulness allows us to observe our negative thoughts and emotions without

self-criticism common Humanity reminds us that suffering and personal failure are normal self-kindness calls on us

to treat ourselves with the same level of warmth and understanding that we would give to a loved one as we

navigate the complexities of four capacities self-compassion becomes not just a tool but a sanctuary a place where we can navigate

personal growth with a level of gentleness and understanding that our society and our world rarely offers us I want to leave you

with a final metaphor sunflowers do this really cool thing called heliotropism or sun

tracking this is their natural inclination to turn towards the Sun and draw energy and life from it and I think it provides a powerful metaphor for our own capacity

Journey these bright and Tall organisms stretch up towards the Sun and track its movements across the sky from the East

to the west and they reset their Gaze on the Eastern Horizon waiting for Sunrise the next day

sunflowers maximize their capacity to grow by being Relentless and just like

sunflowers we too can maximize our capacity by taking root orienting ourselves towards sources of

nourishment whether it is continuous learning professional feedback or the practice of self-compassion now in contrast to a

sunflower I'm not very tall I do my best to be bright and I am absolutely Relentless so

I challenge you be like a sunflower be relentless face your

son and Find Your Capacity thank you