Call People Up, Not Out: A Better Way to Correct Others

What does it mean to call someone up instead of calling them out?

When someone crosses the line, says something offensive, or acts out of character, our instinct is often to call them out. We may want to expose the

them out. We may want to expose the behavior, to correct the record, or at least make sure they feel the weight of what they've said or done. But calling

someone out often backfires because instead of causing them to say, "Oh, wow. thanks for the feedback. It usually

wow. thanks for the feedback. It usually

puts them on the defense, which can make their behavior worse. And this is why I like to call people up instead. That

calling someone out says, "You're dead wrong for that." But calling someone up says, "You're better than that." That

when a colleague makes a careless insult, sure, you can call them out and tell them how much of a jerk they are, or you could call them up, which might sound more like, you know, that's really beneath how well you typically

communicate. I had a boss once who

communicate. I had a boss once who started making some nasty comments about a colleague which was really inconsistent with his character and I told him, "As a young leader, you've

taught me so much, but I'm having a hard time understanding the lesson here." He

was forced to reconsider his actions right then and there because look, calling someone up doesn't avoid accountability, but it does preserve their dignity while delivering truth.

It's correction without the condemnation. The goal of a callup is to

condemnation. The goal of a callup is to invite someone to their higher self. So

the next time you feel tempted to call someone out, consider how you might call them up instead. Remind them of who they are, not just what they did. Because

that's how we build people up instead of break them down.