Coaching Demonstration Nov 9, 2023

So what's most on your mind right now that you'd like to explore with me?

Yeah. So you know there is something which happened uh last Saturday only. Uh

I was attending an industry conference.

I came out of a corporate life almost three and a half decades and I was in uh pharma industry. Mhm.

pharma industry. Mhm.

Uh so uh I do get invited. I do uh once in a while go speak also and uh during one of the breaks somebody you know called me from

uh distance in a familiar voice that saying that you have abandoned your industry.

Mhm.

I I kind of uh was a little little shocked to receive such a comment in a crowded place but uh I knew the person so I started said look I am here in this

conference today says that I have not so what makes you say that no you are not speaking anymore as much as and I have been speaking for last 10 11 years so

not speaking not writing articles on uh you know pharma industry marketing or commercial excellence you are all coaching and leadership and

organizational development so you have abandoned and all like that and no no I'm there I said I'm a B school faculty I tried to you know I got into explanation mode but that's how but you

know once we went inside the conference room the session started and then that stayed with me and it's it's kind of a

you know a very dilemma kind of a situation that it created that is it that I'm not uh uh you know I is it that really I have abandoned the industry

which has given me everything for good three and a half decades. So you know that's that's that's what is on the top of my mind.

Okay.

So um it took you back when he said that abandoned. Um, I think that was the key

abandoned. Um, I think that was the key thing like you left the the industry but maybe left the people behind.

Um, so what exactly Amish is it that you want to really look at? Is it um the reality of what he said um or a way to

respond to a statement like that?

Well, the the reality yes uh the reality of it definitely but what came to my mind is

that you know I made this switch uh based on my orientations. So even if I go back uh one decade or one and a half or even two decades when I first became

a manager first became people manager team manager. So even at that point in

team manager. So even at that point in time I always behaved like a coach leader you know you know letting them so much focus on their development letting them do things delegating making myself

redundant actually that's what was my moto always that I should not be needed and that continued when I reached head office and so on and so forth. Then I

got involved with HR, my own HR in all developmental activities, people development, leadership development, training and so on and so forth. So a

hardcore commercial person was always getting involved. So you know during the

getting involved. So you know during the pandemic when this thoughts came that I need to make a switch uh to full-fledged uh into people uh you know human capital

people development that switch happened and uh it's not that I was not involved with the industry in this period but yes the kind of frequency with which I was

sharing articles or talks or standing on a podium that definitely got down drastically. So

somewhere and you know added to that there was another big uh aspiration that I have had actually to write a book actually I'm uh uh I I could write that

book. I was so keen to write that book

book. I was so keen to write that book that uh unless until I step out I will not been I have not been able to do that. So even the book I I I wrote

that. So even the book I I I wrote finally got published 3 months uh back and that was a big thing that I wanted

to achieve. But within all that this did

to achieve. But within all that this did disturb me that uh that can I can I do some more of a balancing can I do it a little better than what I am doing

between my coaching practice between my writing between farmer industry which has still expectations from me even though I have moved on. So you know all

that this is the mix which is happening.

Okay. Well, I hear um your passion for contribution that you're truly uh wanting to help these people grow,

develop, that that's so important to you um in whatever form you take. And um

that the question was uh that are you really contributing if you're not showing up in the way that was that you

did in the past? you know that it it felt like he made you question that even though you still have the same mission of helping people grow and develop and

you said I've moved on.

Um so is it did he make you stop and question if you're contributing enough in that moment?

It did of course that interaction lasted very small time and then I was inside the conference room sessions were happening. So on my own of course I went

happening. So on my own of course I went into that I ended up writing a you know explanatory post on LinkedIn and I I I I shared one of my talks.

Yeah I felt guilty. I shared one of the talks which I delivered last year to global commercial excellence conference and that talk I never shared but I shared that on YouTube. I said look guys

I am there I am teaching at uh you know B school for uh Parma and MBA students on pharma marketing and all also. So

there are number of people who are undergoing coaching with me are from the industry not all of them but there are a few of them who are there from the

industry. So you know something I I just

industry. So you know something I I just I just want to make sure I know where we're going with this because you said you wanted to make sure that you balance so you are contributing you know but it

sounds like you're trying to explain yourself now that you're still feeling guilty about what he said so you have to go out and explain yourself you know but

I want to come back to this contribution what will Amish feel that I I uh comfortable with that I am making the

contribution ution I can yeah so you know you you actually picked up the word uh contribution that's that's that's the word uh because of which I have been talking because of

which I have been writing because of which today I am in coaching so that word is a you know a very very dear word to me and I operate from

contribution paradigm all the time I mean that's that's definitely there so you really uh you know caught it there so beautifully and uh you know it's kind

of giving me a pivot to play from uh yes I did analyze that uh uh that how I

can do a little more is it that I am I am you know I I I have certain uh knowledge certain information certain expertise which I have gained over a

period of time and now that is not getting out as much as it can there can as I would like as others will also like

so you know even I'm I'm part of all the groups it's not that I have abandoned any group really I'm part of the group I'm still interacting with them I really want to stop because we're

going on and on here what I hear you saying is you want to feel like you really are contributing as much as you can and maybe you can do a little bit

more but you keep backtracking to explaining I am doing this I am doing this you know like these people shouldn't feel that way so I just want to know Amish is it that

you want to really look at how you know to what level I feel comfortable with contributing or is it this you keep going back to this that I don't feel

like I'm doing enough you know that you want to feel you're doing enough so is it doing enough an action or feeling you're doing enough what is it that's

important important to you right now.

right now the the important is that look at the ways by I I I increase my involvement that's that's

very clear that that definitely is coming to me that within my coaching practice as well within my writing that I do say I write six days 7 days a week

share something or the other can I pick up that one day you know that kind of a thought So it's it's like there I I can

still be better. I can still uh you know uh uh bring out all that I am doing right now even coaching and leadership development as I said

that I can make some special efforts to do something more and move in that direction.

Okay. So, Amish, tell me what's enough for you to feel like you're doing enough um in sharing all that you have and helping people to learn and grow. What

is enough for you?

Enough is uh when somebody, you know, gives me a feedback, I'll wait for that feedback that uh that uh happy

to have you back. I don't know that that somehow that statement has gone a little deeper. So that's why uh I'm I'm you

deeper. So that's why uh I'm I'm you know it's it's a bit disturbing. I'm

going back again and again to that one statement which happened from a dear friend from the industry. So now the you know the the desire is to work out a

plan and uh ensure that I'm out there for the industry as well.

Not as much as I was earlier because now I expanded myself.

Okay.

Now I have gone way beyond industries.

I need to to really step back here with you. um

you. um creating a little bit more space and contributing in a way that you feel more comfortable. You can do that on your own

comfortable. You can do that on your own and it sounds like you're doing that. Um

I I want to just share with you you keep backtracking to this one person said this. You you feel hurt and guilty

this. You you feel hurt and guilty because he said this and it's it's mo it's pushing you to maybe even do more

than um is necessary at this moment. I

don't know, but it feels to me as if what what needs to be resolved is your reaction to that statement.

Yeah. Um I mean I I I can uh understand uh you know what you are saying. Yes,

indeed. uh I am bit uh in a reactive state uh after that and uh

uh I continue to be that that also is is a truth but uh having said that uh there is there is a

determination also no it is somewhere built that determination you see all said and done that sense of contribution which has driven me for 11 years of thought leadership that I have enjoyed in the industry.

So that is there that sense of contribution is there that that pe is there from which to I can fly. So yes, I

I I I will like to transition from that reactive state to a you know proactive proactive state work out uh you know uh

yeah so I want to go back to what you said when I asked you how would you know is enough and you said when that person you know doesn't say that or when people say

thank you you know so your measure of success is other people thanking you for your contribution.

Um and what do you feel about that?

Uh yes indeed. uh you know you you will

yes indeed. uh you know you you will love to hear back from to whomsoever you are contributing whether it is own even your own coaching body coaching fraternity or

organizational development fraternity and in this case the industry the pharma industry but at the same time it's somewhere first here when I sit in front

of the mirror and I see that uh look all that I have got which includes that industry experience erience.

Yeah.

All that need to be, you know, coming out. So that

out. So that what is it you're not doing now that you feel you, you know, now have to do?

Yeah. So what I was not doing now you know in the name of actually I am you know this is what I always consider this is the uh you know somewhere I feel I I

got now I'm realizing I'm I I have got too much into one part of what I wanted to become and that was the author. So

I'm already on to my second book.

Okay.

Yeah. It's already on to my second book and if not I'm not uh uh writing that book then I'm promoting this book.

Right. So I I have realized this that it's not that I don't have time or I don't have inclination. It is that maybe all that is going in some you know your

first child kind of you are too obsessed there and uh you're on to your second one also. So maybe somewhere this

one also. So maybe somewhere this balancing has gone uh uh you know wrong rather than uh uh anything else that is there. At least

this is what coming to me when I am continuously reflecting upon this even if in a reactive way but

crazily reflecting on this.

So, um I just want to go back to what it is that would be really important for you right now to to create. And it's

sounding as if you're moving to um uh recognizing you are contributing.

Um you want to put some energy into your new book. Um

new book. Um and you know Amish again your passion for helping people for making sure that

they um are getting what they need from you you know it's it's tangible you know so what is it going to take for

Amish to feel like I really am giving all I can give right now.

Yeah. So you know for that to happen Mhm. I'll have to transform from

Mhm. I'll have to transform from reactive to proactive state first of all and uh really get down

figure things out there are in number of things you see if for the first time one another thing that I realized in this whole thinking process and while interacting with you also that all said and done when you are in the corporate

life you have number of people who are around you that you have a team and so on and so forth And suddenly when you are alone you are one man army

then then then then you know all that you want to do may not be done in the most balanced way and you know you may not be able to control things the way

you would like to control and possibly I need to learn that art. Maybe I need to uh put my head down. uh put my thinking

cap a little more on maybe for a couple of days do nothing and just focus on okay

uh that how how best to get Amhanjan to be doing all that he can do all he can do okay so that's where you

want to feel so I just want to share a couple of things what you said was you know in corporate life people are there you know immediately if you're what you're impact act is on your own. You

don't know that. And so, you know, and so that's probably what triggers your reaction a little bit more because you don't get the consistent feedback

um of what you're producing. Um, but

what I hear you saying is, um, what's most important to you, the awareness you had was, I need to to get away from that reaction into to being proactive

and knowing I'm doing all that Amish can do. That's what it sounds like you want

do. That's what it sounds like you want to create. Is that true?

to create. Is that true?

Yes. In at the operational level, yes. I

would say that you know like it's like putting the pieces that how I can really do what I can possibly do. I mean I may not be able to do everything

do what I can possibly do.

Okay. So you know my own abilities the time that is available to me being honest about it being honest about myself

and then deciding uh a kind of a plan at least to start with a plan which is more a proactive way of going about it

and even though you know I will be looking for that reflection from those whom I'm serving in whichever way I'm serving whichever domain I'm serving at the same time I need to be drawing

enough satisfaction for myself also.

Okay. So is that your measure of success that I am satisfied with that I'm doing all I can to share all that I have um

with uh to help people learn and grow.

To start with the number one part will be that I mean some I need to be happy when I face the mirror in the morning. I

need to be happy when I face the mirror in the morning. That's it, isn't it, Amish?

Of course it is. That's of course it is.

That's that's that's the starting point.

You know, it's it's there will be expectations out there.

There will be, you know, requirements which you need to fulfill. All that will always be there. Those externals will always be there. But somewhere I need to

bring it back to me and maybe involve my near and dear ones. Maybe I bounce with my wife, maybe some of my close friends that this is what has happened and you

know help me uh say and be my mirror, an additional mirror to me.

So that's that way.

Yep.

All right. So it sounds like what you've come up with is you need to be satisfied with yourself. Um that you're giving

with yourself. Um that you're giving enough, you're giving all you can and still survive.

Yes. Yeah. So that is that the big awareness for you in our conversation?

Yeah. Not survive is the word that I will ever associate myself with. I have

never actually it has I mean all along it has been thriving.

So you know yeah so I maybe uh so state it back to me if you would.

What is it that your big takeaway in our conversation?

My big takeaway here is that number one is from reactive which I am in. Let me

accept that and move from there to being a proactive one. That is number one.

Second, prioritize my own uh satisfaction over what is happening out there and what is coming back or not coming back

to me. Get over that comment also. That

to me. Get over that comment also. That

will help me get over that comment also.

And uh the third thing is there that uh you know it's it's I I create uh some other mirrors for me to tell me where I

am because I may be still little fuzzy. I

which I may still be little fuzzy in this. My emotions are also involved in a

this. My emotions are also involved in a big way. So as you used the word some

big way. So as you used the word some time back I was hurt. I was definitely hurt. I possibly I'm still hurt. I need

hurt. I possibly I'm still hurt. I need

to get over that and that's that's also one part where others who are close to me can help me. So you know these are the things which are coming to me and of course as I said in the beginning I need

to put that out all that I have whatever that I can put out there for everyone that's that's the goal that I have.

A noble goal that's great. Okay. So I

heard a couple things you're going to do now. So can you state um that for me

now. So can you state um that for me like the the you know you stated two actions what are you going to do now

the first thing is that uh to really maybe tomorrow when I'm sitting in my meditation it is more like a self

affirmation that look I need to move on and get into that positive zone that I always was when I made the switch from

in the industry to you know the larger uh playground that through coaching and leadership development you get into. So

I need to get into that uh self-affirmation for a proactive zone.

So that I will do uh you know morning after morning after morning it will you know it may take morning evening also maybe on walks also. It's like I need to

retune myself kind of. That's one uh that uh action that I'll have and the second one immediately that I'll have is to you know I have not discussed the dilemma with anybody. I've only been

reacting doing things. I've discussed with you

doing things. I've discussed with you today that's that's a beginning for me.

I'll discuss with at least two more persons and uh see and I'll pick up one from the industry itself. So you know and one from my personal my own wife

I'll discuss and uh then uh you know that's the second step I'll have and third is to you know for for a day or two do nothing than to plan things out

once again I have not done that after stepping out of my corporate life really I have not done that I just was flowing if a book is happening I mean completely consumed by the book then coaching is on

the back burner actually now I've got my coaching back and book also is published and so on and so forth. You know, it's like making the full transition.

Yeah, it's it's like you know it's now only uh as they say no uh uh storming norming performing maybe on my own I have been doing that storming norming

only and time to do the performing where I really do justice.

Okay. So, it sounds to me these three things are going to bring you to your goal of of really knowing um that you're giving all you can in this moment and

feeling satisfied with that. Yeah,

that's absolutely absolutely yes. These are the three points and clear points now. I

have absolute clarity way forward. That's fabulous.

Absolutely. Absolutely. There is a clear way forward now.

Okay. Well, you know, and again, I I you said that with peace.

Um, and I just again want to honor you for all the work that you're doing. Um,

and that you you get so busy that you don't even recognize the great contribution you're making.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank

you so much.

Thanks a lot, Marcia. Coming from you, I mean, that's that's a big big thing for me. Thank you so much. Thanks a lot for

me. Thank you so much. Thanks a lot for all the help through this communication and it really made me go deeper and broader and you

know I really really get into a very deep reflective space so and it will continue on you are putting me into a zone and it will continue

that's great okay so we complete for today yeah thank you so much thanks a lot uh I mean it's really can't be more grateful to you for this wonderful opportunity.

Yeah. Well, thank you.

I'm so happy talking to you. So happy

interacting.

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thanks a lot.