EP42 40歲谷底翻身！只靠這2招「不用錢」的習慣，我就改變了命運feat. 路隊長

The lowest point in my life was probably in 2019.

By then, I had already failed at starting a business three times in a row.

At the toughest time, I took my two daughters out for Italian pasta.

I even had to pretend and tell them, "Daddy's not hungry."

Maybe I was just trying everything as a last resort.

At that time, I had already taken out a loan from the bank.

I bought a ticket on a budget airline.

I looked for the cheapest Airbnb.

Honestly, I didn’t have any expectations then.

I thought, I might as well go and see.

The course lasted three and a half days.

It was truly quite eye-opening.

Eight thousand people are in the gymnasium.

The whole day's course lasts over ten hours.

His course has a famous part called Fire Walking.

It means walking across scorching coals heated to several hundred degrees.

You can't see Anthony Robbins, but his voice seems to come from above.

So you truly feel like God is telling you, Go! You can do it.

Go! You can do it.

After returning to Taiwan, I started doing two things.

Then I realized things were different.

It was like, wow, Oh my God, this feeling is just amazing, fantastic.

Looking back now, it changed my life later on.

Welcome to the Life Unlocking Equation.

I'm your good friend, Jackal.

Today, I'm happy to invite Captain Lu, host of 'Good Woman's Love Strategy'.

Let's give him a round of applause.

Hello everyone, I am the host of the podcast 'Good Woman's Love Strategy'.

Everyone calls me Captain Lu.

It's the 'Lu' from 'road'.

So, did you come up with this name yourself?

Yes, I chose this name myself.

But my last name isn't Lu.

It's just that back in 2019, I want to start doing this self-media.

It reminded me of when I was in elementary school as a kid.

I often served as the road captain, leading everyone home.

The goal was to make sure all the classmates got home safely.

You were the one holding the flag.

Yes exactly.

So later, I named it 'Road Captain'.

It feels like leading everyone down the path of life.

So it's kind of like you guiding everyone through the journey of love.

Yes exactly.

Because I now host this relationship show.

But later, it evolved into something like.

It can be about life direction too.

In this episode, we're mainly going to talk about.

We all go through a phase in life after middle age.

Especially the ups and downs.

Almost everyone inevitably faces it before turning 40.

They experience one or two low points.

For me, it was between 35 and 39.

That was the most confusing time in my life.

Captain Lu happened to be in his own life experience.

It was like hitting the darkest moment in life.

So in this episode, we want to talk with you about what exactly happened back then.

After those events, Captain Lu bounced back from rock bottom.

Now he has his own amazing channel.

At the same time, his current quality of life is something I felt after hearing about it.

I feel really envious; it's very chill.

Alright, let's start by talking about the first question.

Captain Lu, when you were studying before, what was your situation like back then?

I started college studying in the United States.

I was the kind of student who was very well-behaved.

You can imagine I always sat in the front row.

I always finished my homework early.

I never crammed right before exams. So I was the type of student who followed the rules closely.

Later on, after working at a bank for a while, I've always had a dream of starting my own business.

So I wanted to start my own business.

My first time starting a business was when I was 29.

I think entrepreneurship has no standard answers.

Back when we took exams, we were used to just choosing A, B, C, or D.

You just picked the standard answer.

If you were wrong, you knew why.

But I felt that when it came to entrepreneurship, for a good student like me, the hardest part was that no one could tell me the right answer.

That includes deciding what kind of business to start.

You could do e-commerce.

You can open a store.

You can work online.

You can create your own media.

Honestly, I felt completely lost at that time.

So my first choice was to start a business.

I opened a tofu pudding and shaved ice shop.

It was such a sudden change.

Really.

Because everyone knows that.

You know, Taiwan has some very famous.

shaved ice shops.

Every time I pass by, I see a lot of people.

I just think Taiwanese people really love eating these things.

I thought the costs should be low.

So it would be very profitable.

I thought if it were me, because I had just returned from the U.S.,

I was full of confidence.

I said, if it were me, I'd definitely make it as big as Starbucks.

Not just one store, based on what we learned in business school.

So I was in 2008 I opened a tofu pudding and shaved ice shop.

That was my first time starting a business.

So, how did it go that time?

That time, I believe there's a first time for everything.

After I started running it, I realized I really didn't know how to run a store.

All the theories I learned in school, They all teach you how big companies do marketing.

How to do those things.

But in reality, there are hardly any resources.

Plus, I didn't even know how to make those tofu puddings.

All the taro balls and other ingredients had to be outsourced.

So the costs were really high.

The rent was expensive too.

You also have to buy air conditioning.

Electricity bills.

And things like...

Refrigerators, ice makers, and so on.

What hurt me the most was...

I had hired some part-time workers back then.

They would take advantage of the times I went out for deliveries.

They might even bring their girlfriends over.

Flirting right there at the counter.

It was just too much.

Just messing around and flirting.

They weren't taking their work seriously at all.

So I was really stressed out at that time.

After three months of opening, I made a decision.

I fired all the part-time workers.

I set up a room inside the store.

I bought a bed.

I decided I was going to sleep at the store.

I was determined to fight through it.

So later on, because of that, How long did you manage to hold on?

In the end, I lasted a whole year.

It just went bankrupt.

After it went bankrupt, I lost all my confidence.

I also realized that real entrepreneurship is completely different from the theories learned in school.

It's something different at all So I had no choice but to go back to working at a bank.

Actually, I've failed at starting businesses three times in my life.

The first time was opening a store.

The second time was running a company organizing social events.

A PR company.

The third time was starting an internet startup.

The lowest point in my life was probably in 2019.

At that time, I had already failed in my third consecutive startup.

I was almost 40 years old then.

I remember the hardest times.

I took my two daughters out to eat spaghetti.

I had to pretend and tell them, "Daddy's not hungry."

That was really how it was back then.

I still had to say, 'Daddy's not hungry.'

You guys just eat.

I had to pretend I wasn't hungry.

That was because I was thinking about next month, about what household expenses I had to pay.

Paying for the kids' school fees and other expenses.

I felt like at that time, Almost had nothing left.

All the money, resources, and confidence.

All gone.

It was the absolute lowest point in my life.

I felt there was a special opportunity then.

Around July or August of 2019.

I happened to see an ad on Facebook.

I saw Anthony Robin I don't know if Jackal knows about Anthony Robbins.

He's also my idol.

Really?

Because you studied NLP.

He's a world-renowned motivational master.

At that time, I just learned he was going to Singapore.

He runs his beginner course.

It's called UPW.

Unleash Your Power Within.

It's a course that unlocks potential.

It's an introductory course.

At that time, I didn't know why.

But that ad just caught my attention.

I had read his book when I was a kid.

It was called 'Awaken the Giant Within'.

I have read that book.

It's a very, very old book.

I remember at the time thinking, I read that book, but I didn't really understand it.

But I did get one concept.

He has a core concept that says We all have unlimited potential But how to do it How do we awaken the giant within us Actually, back then, I was very early in this I had no idea at all But I really liked this concept So in September 2019 I found out he was coming to Singapore I thought I should quickly go online To see if his course was expensive or not

It turned out that at that time he was I found the cheapest seat Because in Singapore, they had 8,000 people attending the class together It was in a large stadium.

His class was like the rock concert section.

The front seats were the most expensive.

It was kind of like a concert vibe.

Because he sprays spit when he talks.

You could actually get spit on you.

Maybe it was a bit of a blessing.

Holy water.

Because he’s a really impressive person.

He has a lot of energy.

As for the last row, I found it was $1,000.

Thirty thousand dollars.

Even the last row cost $1,000.

At that time, I thought, Okay Maybe I just decided to give it a shot, no matter what.

I bought a ticket on a budget airline.

And I booked the cheapest Airbnb I could find.

So when you spent that money, your finances were really tight.

At that time, I had already taken out a loan from the bank.

I had already borrowed money from the bank.

And you still decided to take this gamble.

Because I had no idea where my future was headed.

I just didn’t know at that time, whether I should go back to work, or keep pushing forward with my startup.

I was really lost in life back then.

Because, you know, Jackal, he's a 40-year-old middle-aged man.

He's stuck in this in-between stage.

And because I feel that we have this feeling inside us that if I don't make it through this stage now, then maybe my whole life will be just about the same.

Yeah, our chances later on will get fewer.

Really.

At that time, I really had this feeling.

I felt like I was in that dark tunnel I didn't know if there was any light ahead.

Wondering if one day there would be light.

Or maybe my whole life would just be like this.

So, at that time, I flew to Singapore.

It is a multi-day event.

It's an introductory course called UPW.

It's a three-and-a-half-day course.

Actually, I knew nothing about his course.

I was completely unaware of the content.

But I just thought, Because he was already in his sixties, I thought he might retire soon.

So I decided to go check it out.

I honestly had no expectations at the time.

I just flew there.

The first day was really shocking.

I don't know if Jackal has ever seen that kind of thing, 8,000 people in a stadium listening to one speaker.

The whole day's course lasts over ten hours.

We start at 10 in the morning.

It could go on until 11 at night.

That long.

The key is, from start to finish, he doesn't need any slides.

He can do this alone for over ten hours.

No slides at all.

At that moment, I really felt it.

First of all, so this is what a world master is like.

That's the feeling.

His class is very unique, usually when we attend class, it's just class.

We just sit there and listen.

Why take notes?

In his class, you have to keep jumping around from start to finish.

There's music and stuff the whole time.

Constantly jumping around.

Just listen.

Then jump around again.

It's really energy-draining.

The most interesting part was the first night.

I remember we stayed until after 10 o'clock.

He told us to leave the gym.

I thought class was over.

I wondered if it was time to go home.

But when we went outside, we saw the ground was covered with burning hot charcoal right?

Like those kinds of charcoal, lined up outdoors in rows, do you know what we have to do?

Walk across it barefoot.

Yes.

His course has a famous part called Fire Walking.

You have to walk across that, walking over the scorching coals for about seven or eight seconds.

It's burning at several hundred degrees.

These coals, charcoal fire.

At that time, I thought, What kind of course is this?

What is this?

Are these people crazy?

Aren't they getting burned?

He told us to look at the sky.

You can't focus on your problems. You have to look at the sky.

You need to adjust your breathing.

You can't use your phone.

Because some people might accidentally drop their phones.

Their faces could get burned or something.

When we were outside, We couldn't see Anthony Robbins.

But his voice seemed to come from the sky.

We couldn't find a microphone.

But his voice sounded like it was from God.

A voice from above.

I don't know if Jackal has ever heard him speak.

His voice is very deep and rich.

It's that kind of profound tone.

So you really feel it.

It's like God is speaking to you.

Go, you can do it.

Everyone feels that way.

So, seven or eight thousand of us just kept walking.

There were many rows.

And lots of staff.

You hear that voice of God.

Telling you that you can do it.

You can do it.

You have to overcome the challenges in front of you.

These fears are all made up by your mind.

So after you finished that trip What was your condition when you got back to the hotel that night?

I just felt really tired.

I’ve never taken such a long class before.

It was very stressful.

I wondered if tomorrow I’d have to swallow fireballs.

Today was walking on hot coals.

Tomorrow I’d be burning my own hands.

Because the whole day’s lessons Really had too much content.

It was my first time experiencing it too.

So at that time, actually, I didn’t particularly feel that I suddenly received some kind of divine inspiration.

Suddenly, I became a different person.

After finishing these three days of classes I returned to Taiwan After returning to Taiwan I felt like I started doing two things Looking back now they might have changed my life later on The first thing was taking cold showers In September 2019 after finishing the classes and returning to Taiwan I've been doing it ever since I've taken cold showers for six years Ice-cold showers Whether it's summer or winter

I've done it every day for six years straight An ice-cold shower every single day MOY, please get me the ice bucket.

I mean, I want to try it.

Actually, it's already very popular in the US now.

ice bath If they are very wealthy, they might have someone like LeBron James, these basketball players too, they usually have their own private tub-like setup.

You just fill it up with ice cubes, and stay in it for a few minutes.

There are plenty of scientific reasons, it's really, really good.

I know Anthony Robbins He has been doing this for many years.

At that time, I just wanted to try.

I couldn't possibly buy some kind of special ice cubes.

Or anything like that.

So I thought, I'll just take a cold shower.

That left a deep impression on me.

So when I came back then, I was still very depressed.

Because I still didn't know where my future was.

Then one day, I thought, Alright, I'll try taking a cold shower.

I remember it clearly.

It was a weekday afternoon.

Around three o'clock.

I was really depressed back then.

I felt that my whole life might just be that I am a failure.

Maybe my two daughters were meant to possibly not have the chance to have enough to eat.

So I went into my bathroom at home.

I took a three-minute cold shower.

I remember when I came out, I had a very strong feeling that I didn’t feel depressed anymore.

It was like the depression just disappeared.

I even thought, At that time, I wasn't sure whether I was imagining it or if I was really standing there with just that towel on half-naked It felt so real I was just standing there trying to feel it out Wondering if I was imagining that I wasn't depressed or if I really wasn't sad anymore In the end, I realized things had changed It was like Wow, oh my god This feeling is really great.

Awesome.

Because the environment around me hasn't changed.

I'm still failing.

I still don't have a clear idea whether to work or start a business.

But all my depression disappeared.

From that day on, I started taking cold showers every day.

So, did you start doing this because you heard something in the course, or was it from other information?

Or are you because of other information?

You just decided to give this a try.

Anthony Robbins mentioned in his course.

He talked about something called Modeling.

It means imitation.

If you want the same results, You have to imitate the same behavior.

Or a person.

At that time, I had already failed badly.

So I had no issues with pride.

Maybe if Anthony Robbins told me to eat XX, I probably would have done it, you know?

Anyway, I wanted to see results.

Whoever had results, I would imitate them.

Then I later found out that besides Anthony Robbins many other people also take ice-cold showers So I decided no matter what, I would give it a try try it and see how it goes Besides ice-cold showers there's another thing because Anthony Robbins has a philosophy system with a core idea that state determines everything meaning your state of mind your state is very important for example, if you go through a breakup or when you're feeling really down

even if a good opportunity comes your way Would you dare to seize it?

And even others seeing that state won't want to give him the chance.

You see everything in a negative light.

Even good news originally you would still feel negative about it.

But when you're in a good state, aren't you more likely to bravely take action?

So Tony Robbins believes what changes us is not knowledge, but our state.

That's why in his UPW course, he teaches us a lot about how to adjust our state.

One method is through breathing.

This is somewhat like the Indian fire breath.

You have to do it from start to finish.

Keep your mouth closed.

Breathe in through your nose.

Inhale deeply.

Exhale through your nose.

When you inhale deeply, Our hands should be like this.

Yes, like this.

When you exhale through your nose, You move down as if you're gathering energy.

It's the idea of pulling energy down from above.

So it's inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

Keep your mouth closed the entire time.

Because you can only breathe in the most oxygen through your nose.

How many times should we do it?

Inhale and exhale like this counts as one.

Okay, so we need to do 30 times.

One up and down is one cycle.

Alright, you can close your eyes now.

Okay.

Try to feel your current state.

I feel warmth spreading all over my body now.

You'll notice your energy feels different.

Also, I feel like my eyes look brighter.

This works through breathing.

It can quickly shift and adjust your energy.

We actually do three sets of 30 times each.

Three groups, so we only did one group just now.

He is right on the stage.

Eight thousand people are doing it together.

Because we I think we modern people have brains that are chronically oxygen-deprived.

So we easily feel worried and anxious.

Or we regret things we did in the past.

Or worry about the future.

Actually, through this kind of intense brain activity, you start to produce some chemical changes.

Since 2019 until now, I've been doing it every morning for six years.

Besides this fire breathing, It also includes some guided meditation afterward.

For example, you need to think about three things you're grateful for each day.

You should think about as if energy is coming down from the universe, approaching your body and radiating outward.

Anyway, it's just a process.

It lasts about 20 minutes.

So, fire breathing is just one part of it.

At the end, you might be asked to visualize the goals you want to achieve in the future.

It probably uses a lot of NLP techniques, psychology, and brain science principles.

I think it's really cool.

That's because the final stage is I want you to think about it.

What goals do you want to achieve in the future?

So in that 2019 when I was at the lowest point in my life, I actually practiced this every day.

I started to think, Okay, what kind of goals do I really want?

What kind of person do I want to become?

Because of this, doing this meditation every day, and breathing exercises, something amazing happened.

It was around January or February of 2020, when suddenly during meditation, I have an idea.

This idea is about you starting a podcast.

Really really.

And 2020 was during the pandemic.

At that time, the pandemic actually made it impossible to do anything.

He said, "Start a podcast."

There was a small voice I wondered, what is a podcast?

And it was Anthony Robbins' voice, coming down from above.

I didn't know.

Anyway, it was just very strange.

Something like a cosmic connection.

Sounds mystical.

But later, I shared it with many people.

Many people have this kind of so-called moment of inspiration.

I just heard that it uses several NLP influence techniques.

Why is it done right after waking up in the morning?

First, it involves a fire breathing exercise.

The reason is that the body has its own wisdom.

So our hands placed in certain positions or poses trigger specific internal responses.

So it’s like, first thing in the morning, It doesn't control us with thoughts.

It can't.

Because its theory is You have to use your body to drive it.

Use your body.

Using thoughts is too hard.

You say, 'I'm very good, very good.'

That's impossible.

So it actually uses the body to drive it.

To create a new feeling for yourself.

Especially what just happened.

When I was just trying it, Because if it explains that We seem to be grabbing energy, Then the person doing it will suggest that Every time I do it, your energy feels stronger.

The second thing I think is better is for those watching this video, you can also try why it uses the moment of gratitude because nowadays some people keep gratitude journals.

Right?

But why does it use meditation to think about it?

Actually, it’s like letting you relive that moment.

When we internally replay a scene that once moved me or made me feel grateful, as soon as that image appears, It will trigger a good feeling again.

Exactly exactly.

Really.

And it asks you to immerse yourself.

Step into that scene.

You then see that gratitude.

Sometimes you even shed tears and so on.

Also, it brings out another metaphor here.

When you see that scene, You realize someone is helping you.

So you feel grateful to them.

At this moment, it actually implies to you.

Good things have always been happening in your life.

So I think if it’s used this way, It should be used every morning.

I think that effect will be amazing.

I believe that out of 8,000 people attending the class, maybe fewer than 100 actually do it.

They really go back and practice every day.

But at that time, I had no other choice.

This was the only thing I knew.

A way to improve my condition.

So I started doing this fire breathing.

And practicing this meditation.

Just like Jackal mentioned earlier, I said that I heard a voice, and I took action immediately.

I immediately started researching how to do it.

I began doing this since March 2020.

This is the good woman's dating strategy.

We've done over 1,500 episodes so far.

Wow!

That's crazy.

That's also because of the success of this show.

I started working with various teachers.

Since our show is about relationships between men and women, I collaborated with different emotional education experts.

I also began hosting my own singles' social events and so on.

It became a whole series of products.

All thanks to that inspiration.

May I ask, Because usually when inspiration strikes, We often feel at that moment that it's doable, But what follows is often, But I’ve never done it before.

What if I fail again?

Did you have those kinds of doubts back then?

Actually, I didn’t have any doubts at that time.

Not really.

Because it was really during the pandemic.

If you didn’t do this, there wasn’t much else to do.

So I thought, why not just give it a try?

I didn’t expect that once I started recording, because it was 2020, we later called it the first year of podcasts.

Back then, there were only a couple hundred shows.

Now, there are over ten thousand.

So it was perfect timing to start.

There will be traffic.

This traffic can start generating a lot of commercial value.

So I feel like, I don't know how to say this.

Is everything the best arrangement of the universe?

It just so happened that at that moment, I happened to do this thing.

This idea wasn't even thought up by me.

It came from some kind of cosmic connection.

So I responded to that Anthony Robbins and some of his theories.

I think they're pretty good.

It means that we modern people actually don't lack knowledge.

You can use AI and the internet, to do whatever you want.

Whether you want to start a business Or create a podcast Otherwise, do YouTube There will always be someone willing to teach you for free At worst, you can just take a class But what do we modern people lack It's the right mindset We already have all the methods Yes, and moving forward He mentioned taking massive actions Meaning taking a lot of action He believes action outweighs the knowledge you have

What we used to think of as action is actually not enough I later realized Let me share a story It's Anthony Robbins.

He used to want to become a speaker.

At first, he taught something like NLP.

Back then, This was probably 40 years ago.

He was probably only 25 years old.

He shared stories from his youth.

He said, He went to ask, Who was the best NLP teacher in the US at that time?

They told him it was a certain person.

He asked how often that person held classes.

Maybe every three months, Or held a class once, Once every two months.

Anthony Robbins said, okay.

At that time, he held three classes a day.

He spoke three times a day.

That volume.

So he said, massive action.

Whoever invited him, He said he would speak for free.

Speak for free.

He went to all kinds of companies.

Always free, free, free.

Three times a day.

He said after one year, His skills surpassed that person.

So you have to imagine how massive that action was.

So back then, during the podcast, I thought, okay.

So I post new content every day from Monday to Friday.

This goes back to the concept of modeling.

I imitate those who excel.

I do exactly what they do.

So others release one episode a week.

I say I’ll release five episodes a week.

Also, I think you just mentioned an important point.

I’ll roughly share the development process of NLP.

One key application is imitation.

Because NLP itself, all its information comes from imitation.

Okay.

For example, it imitates Master Satir.

It imitates Dr. Erickson, the hypnotherapist.

There is also Gestalt therapy.

So he actually follows the master closely.

Watching how he does things.

Breaking down his syntax and body movements.

Deconstructing him, right?

But there is another aspect.

He breaks down a person's way of thinking.

Into external and internal visualizations.

Including auditory as well.

So what he looks for is What triggers internal visualization.

After internal visualization appears, What feelings it then triggers.

If we bring it back to the imitation you just mentioned, I feel like I can finally understand better what he said on Netflix compared to what other videos say Because some people actually say this I’ve already tried hard I’ve tried every method But I feel like this So maybe I’ll never get up in this life But he doesn’t realize the effort others talk about

might be based on others’ standards like breaking through and taking action 300 times a year But maybe when I’m feeling down and off I count once That one time is me trying hard I've tried hard enough.

I've tried everything, but it still doesn't work.

So actually, I think this can also serve as a reminder of a very important point.

That when we're really feeling down, we can adjust our mindset.

Just like the part you just shared with everyone.

Another key point is that after adjusting our mindset, do we dare to increase our original level of effort and multiply it by four or five times?

You really need to increase it by more than ten times.

It's hard for us to believe that some people actually work ten times harder than we do.

We often think that our effort This amount is enough.

Actually, the difference is huge.

When you start doing a podcast, around when your life begins to feel stress-free, about a year later, I've already experienced significant growth.

That's exactly who I want to attract.

All kinds of people come to help me.

Suddenly, there are plenty of resources.

For example, when I first started my podcast, I had no money at all.

Do you know what I did?

It's quite strange, because a coworking space opened right above my home.

(Business space) At that time, there was a very tiny space.

I remember it was about $190 per hour.

It was located just above my home.

$190.

Back then, I did the math.

I only needed to spend three hours.

I would rent it for three hours.

I could record five episodes.

So it was quite amazing.

All kinds of things suddenly started to take off.

I still remember that room was really tiny.

It didn’t even have a table.

Every time I recorded, I had to move my wooden table from home, and carry it into the elevator.

Then we moved to the ninth floor.

The guests and I all sat on the floor.

It wasn't as nice as it is today.

Not like the setup we have today.

With a proper recording studio.

Back then, we recorded sitting on the floor.

That's when I started my podcast career.

So inspiring.

Yeah exactly.

Because it was a lot of fun.

At that time, most people had never recorded a podcast.

It was their first time too.

So they found it really fresh and new.

That's why many people were like that.

I remember the first episode had about 50 guests.

They all sat on the floor with us to record.

They all remember this.

And don't you think sometimes it really is that way?

Actually, when our resources are relatively scarce, we can be more creative.

Exactly exactly.

Right?

Anthony Robbins has another very core idea.

Sharing it with Jackal.

Where your focus is, your energy will be there.

What does this mean?

He says, our brain actually just helps us survive.

It doesn't help us achieve our dreams. What this means is how our brain works.

Our brain actually tends to focus on negative things by habit.

Right?

For example, who is arguing online.

You definitely pay attention to that, right?

Especially now that algorithms promote it.

That's because our brain naturally evolved to notice these things.

Why?

Because back in ancient times, we had to be alert for sudden appearances of wild animals.

Where did the fire suddenly start?

So we tend to focus on negative things easily.

But Anthony Robbins says, where your focus goes, there your energy flows.

He wants us to train ourselves to basically put your focus on opportunities, on your goals.

Your brain will then start searching for all kinds of resources.

Because if you keep looking at negative things, your brain will only magnify them.

It's like there was a girl in our class who asked Anthony Robbins, a female student, this happened later on.

A classmate of mine took his advanced course.

She raised her hand and asked Anthony Robbins, She said, I've listened to what you said.

I've been taking all kinds of self-improvement courses.

But Anthony Robbins, I want to ask you, Why can't I find single men as outstanding as I am?

She was looking for a boyfriend.

That question caught my interest.

Why?

Because I focus on relationship topics.

Many of our listeners also ask me, They say, 'Captain Lu, Captain Lu,' I've been listening to your show for years.

I study various topics on self-growth.

I'm getting better and better.

Why can't I find a guy as good as me?

This question caught my interest.

Guess how Anthony Robbins answered.

He said, You're asking the wrong question.

What do you mean?

Because your question determines your focus.

Right, your brain, You ask yourself, Why can't I find a guy as good as me?

She phrased it negatively.

Your brain looks for evidence.

Exactly exactly.

Maybe too old Maybe not good enough Maybe something else Tell him to change your question Then change your focus So he asked that female student To rethink Can you change your question?

Later, he changed it to say How can I be more open Towards these guys who are pursuing me With a more open heart to understand them So he later changed his question So, I think that session That question was quite impactful When everything in your life has been getting better and better Why would you still want to go to the U.S. to join that six-day advanced course called 'Appointment with Destiny'?

It's actually quite similar to Jackal.

One day, I was watching that documentary too.

I mean, I felt like it brought back memories from 2019.

By then, it was already 2024.

So actually, since hitting rock bottom in 2019, my life has completely turned around.

All my careers, my relationships, and family ties are all much better than they have been in my past forty-plus years.

And it was very obvious.

At that time, I thought, After watching this Netflix documentary, I really felt something.

I just thought, Okay, I actually want to take his class again.

Because I also thought, Maybe he might retire or something.

So in 2024, That was last December.

I just flew to Miami, USA West Palm Beach, to attend his classic course.

It's his core course, called Date with Destiny.

A Date with Destiny Can you share a bit about what he usually has you do each day?

Okay Before I went, I looked it up online to see what people abroad said about the course.

Everyone said it was really exhausting.

So I thought, when I went in 2019, classes ended around 11 p.m. at the latest.

But this time, it really surprised me.

Jackal, every day we start class at 10 a.m.

Do you know how late we go?

Sometimes we go until 3 a.m.

3 AM 10 AM Until 3 o'clock And there was no special time to eat in between It just kept going If you wanted to eat, you could go eat But it just kept going It wasn’t just sitting there taking classes We also danced And there was music too Because they really focused on the music Actually, they said music also changes our state It’s a really good way Anyway, these five or six days were all about

What kind of person you want to become in the future It is to clarify your values to clarify and say what exactly brings you happiness what causes you pain to clarify what kind of beings we humans really are what drives our actions forward what makes us pull back in our actions there's a lot of content about that of course, it also talks about intimate relationships and such

it revolves around the kind of person you want to become it helps you find the future destiny you want to pursue so, a date with destiny Because most of us don't really know ourselves well.

Because we have to fill out many questionnaires before class.

He will identify those who want to commit suicide.

Many of their staff will mark the red flags.

They will know.

Because he first needs to reach out to those who are in serious danger.

Talk to them.

Help them come out of it.

Is there anyone who wants to come on stage?

Having a conversation with Anthony Robbins.

It was when you were watching at that moment.

You were also deeply moved.

Do you remember?

Many come from their original families.

They might have had a tough childhood.

There was a girl who came from Asia.

Her mother wanted to sell her to a hotel when she was young.

To a place like a brothel.

She really pulled herself out on her own.

She became a pretty successful company owner.

She’s probably in her fifties.

She was really called out and told, She was already in tears.

She was crying hard.

Then she talked about how things were in the past.

Her mother did it just to survive.

He was told to go to places like hotels.

He was forced to have relations with certain people.

As a result, he carried these traumas.

This affected him later on.

Possibly his family relationships.

She ended up divorcing her husband.

Many of these deep wounds remain unhealed.

Although I'm not an NLP expert, I can still tell that Anthony Robbins often uses a technique.

He has a theory that says Behind everything, there's a hidden benefit.

That is to say, If you tell him about any difficulty, he will ask you, because of this difficulty, what might you have gained?

That really stuck with me.

He asked him, If your mom were a perfect mom, what kind of person would you be?

You see, he used a counterexample, which completely stunned him.

Because later he answered correctly, If my mom were such a perfect mom, I wouldn’t be who I am now.

I wouldn’t be so strong.

It won't be that successful.

So it's like he's reframing things a bit.

Mm.

Right, so the whole thing is Later on, he was healed.

Because what he had was actually Three techniques.

The first technique is To first use a counterexample.

The idea of a counterexample is that At the moment he arrived on the scene, He was still focused on his painful side.

So now he handles it with a counterexample.

It becomes Now that you’re here.

What benefits have you gained from going through all this?

Because he was originally looking backward.

So he ended up looking forward.

But the second thing is, He has a belief in his heart.

That I am like this because of my mom.

So he is trying to remove that condition.

That's why he asked him, What if your mom was a perfect mother?

Who would you be now?

Right, and here he actually has another additional metaphor.

This metaphor is, Are you really going to keep your current self?

It's about erasing it.

Yes, very impressive.

So I think that's really powerful.

After the woman shed tears, the music fades out.

Everyone hugs him.

Emotional anchor.

There is a point where we talk about this.

Values and these rules.

We often have to do a lot of practice.

It's about ranking values.

I think people who attend Tony Robbins' courses are very committed to self-growth.

They are more driven to pursue success.

So he asked us to discuss in groups.

When we write down our definition of success, let me tell you, most people set it way too high and hard to reach.

Foreigners often say, you need to earn several million dollars a year, to be considered successful.

Anthony Robbins says, over the past decade, actually, for more than twenty years teaching this course, he thinks people are too harsh in their definition of success.

The standards are too tough.

So you never give yourself credit, and you keep feeling frustrated, because you can’t reach those goals.

You have to reach this level.

Only then are you successful.

That means you haven't been successful in your life yet.

So he said there is a way.

He said you need to rewrite your rules.

How to change them?

Lower the standards for success.

Make it so you can feel successful every day.

For example, if you did this today, then you are successful.

So he said this is your fuel.

This is your daily motivation.

You need to change the rules about failure.

Many people say right away, X I'm a loser I'm a failure.

The rules about failure were too strict.

He said to loosen them.

That's when I started to think, that failure doesn't really exist.

Before, if I failed the first time, like a failed startup, I would say, I'm just not cut out for this life.

Then I'd go back to a regular job.

Then I probably wouldn't have become a team leader later.

So later, I rewrote my definition to be, Fine, I'll fail at startups my whole life, only then will I call it failure.

I stretched out the timeline.

So I never feel like I've failed.

I can always try a fifth time.

A sixth time, a seventh time.

I can keep trying again and again.

If we take the structure from that segment just now, and share it for everyone to use, he basically did three things.

The first thing was actually he made everyone realize that if we live under too strict rules, we will develop feelings of self-denial.

That sense of denial keeps us from being in a good state.

Right, it’s not good for us.

Yes, it’s harmful to us.

He doesn't have that fuel.

Right, so actually all of this serves to maintain a good state.

But the second point is let's dig a little deeper.

I actually really like a key thing he just said.

He was talking about how the definition of success is too harsh.

Behind this, there’s actually a benefit.

Because it’s so strict, I might set the bar even higher, so I won’t slack off.

But it’s more like when this standard Don't be so harsh to this extent.

When he is flexible, he allows himself to pursue high standards without self-denial.

Okay, let me add something extra.

I think many people might have this question.

That is, if I really have entered maybe middle age, feeling off and unlucky, and my current state is low, should I really spend the little money I have left to buy courses?

For example, courses like Tony Robbins'.

Or is it really about buying someone else's course?

Is it possible that after finishing the course, my life starts to turn around?

What do you think about this question?

I think there’s no right or wrong answer to this.

Yeah.

Because in Anthony Robbins' course, even though we spend six days there getting brainwashed, with all that positive energy, I believe many people might, after three weeks or a month, go back to their original state.

I get it.

Right, it mainly depends on whether you can keep it up after you go back.

Like me, I keep meditating.

Continuing these practices and so on.

There are also many people who go back to their original state.

Yes, so I think that there is no standard answer.

I think the reason I like your answer is because what just came to my mind is some people might feel it works for them, and think this method is worth trying.

Now, if our friends watching this video should consider a few points, because survivor bias doesn't mean it applies to everyone.

But for him, it might be Like, at least today I heard a few great methods After taking a cold shower, for three minutes you won't feel You might feel like your whole body is burning Right, so that feeling of depression disappears Let me say this first Because everyone's physical condition is different So you still have to We need to ask Or consult with a doctor Not everyone is suitable

We can only choose what fits your own physical condition That you can handle mentally And can afford financially But Try to imitate those as much as possible things you have never done before I think modeling imitating those who are successful is something you should try For me, I feel this changed my life Finally, to sum up briefly I think my connection with Captain Lu 也是從NLP開始

If I hadn’t studied NLP I wouldn’t have done the show later Then we wouldn’t have had the chance to meet My feeling afterward was In today’s era We spend time learning outside.

I don't think it's a bad thing.

The main reason is because It brings three important changes.

The first is a change in environment.

The second is that the people you meet will be different.

The third actually is You take action on that lesson.

You are already on the path to change.

Just now, the team leader said We can, in our hearts, Think about the definition of success.

How to rewrite it.

Rewrite those rules.

The definition of failure can also be rewritten.

And After you rewrite it, the things you face every day haven't actually changed.

But the way it makes you feel is different.

Your state is different.

And your state improves.

So actually, we are all playing games with our own brains.

Yes, really.

What a great conclusion.

Right?

Such a great conclusion.

Actually, this sentence is That thing Naval said, I really like him.

Because what he said is Life is a solo game.

It's true.

It's just you against yourself.

So I think this is also why I like NLP.

Because from start to finish, It's about how we use a framework Or a different way of thinking To challenge the thoughts in our own minds.

I think it's fantastic.

What a great conclusion.

Alright.

That's great to hear.

I can chat with everyone.

Because I am also interested in the real content of 'Appointment with Destiny'.

I'm very interested.

So I was happy after the conversation.

If you right now happen to be going through a bit of a low point in life, and don't know what to do, there are some free things you can try, like taking cold showers, or in the morning, when you get up, you might try different breathing techniques, or even meditation and gratitude, all of which can gradually help you get into a better state.

That wraps up this episode.

I'm Jackal.

I'm Captain Lu.

See you next time.

Bye-bye.