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I Grew Up in Conservative America. Then Europe Changed Everything.

By Type Ashton

Summary

Topics Covered

  • The Conservative Bubble That Felt Like Normal
  • When Politics Becomes a Moral Test
  • Protecting Children, Selectively
  • Guns Reveal American Fear Management
  • American Systems Are Designed, Not Inevitable

Full Transcript

I grew up in conservative America, [music] world where everything was connected.

Politics religion patriotism work family, masculinity, and morality. It

was all one big conservative bubble. And

when you grow up inside that bubble, you don't really notice it. You just sort of think this is normal. This is how normal people think. Normal people go to

people think. Normal people go to church. Normal [music] people love

church. Normal [music] people love America. Normal people respect the

America. Normal people respect the military. Normal people work hard and

military. Normal people work hard and don't complain.

[music] Normal people don't need government handouts. And normal people definitely

handouts. And normal people definitely don't [music] move to Europe and start saying, "Well, wait a second. Maybe the

socialists had a point."

But that's kind of what [music] happened to me. Because after living in Europe, I

to me. Because after living in Europe, I started to realize that a lot of the things that I had been taught to fear, universal health care, paid leave, public transportation, stronger worker protections, [music]

less gun culture, well, these things were not scary at all. They were just normal. And I want to be clear right

normal. And I want to be clear right away. This is not a video about how

away. This is not a video about how everyone I grew up around was bad. That

is just plain false. The majority of the people I grew up around were kind, generous, hard-working, [music] funny, and incredibly helpful people. Because

conservative America is not just angry people yelling on TV. It's also

potlucks, Little [music] League, church families, neighbors who help you shovel snow, and communities full of people who would give you the shirt off of their back. And that contradiction is actually

back. And that contradiction is actually what I want to talk about. Because

growing up in conservative America taught me one version of freedom.

But living in Europe forced me to ask [music] whether that version of freedom actually made people free. So, here's my story of what it was like growing up in

conservative America and then leaving it all behind.

Let's get started.

So, I grew up right here in rural Illinois. It's a predominantly white

Illinois. It's a predominantly white conservative area. I went to church

conservative area. I went to church every Sunday and was a youth group leader and a volunteer for Vacation Bible school. I was desperately proud of

Bible school. I was desperately proud of my country and cheered when George Bush won the 2000 election after voting for him in our middle school mock election.

After all, why wouldn't I? It's like

belonging to a fan club for a family legacy baseball team. I didn't know a thing about the Democrats, nor do I about playing baseball. But, everyone I

know and love is a fan, so why wouldn't I be as well, right? In high school, I was surrounded by cornfields and bring your tractor to school day during FFA

week. I found belonging in my beliefs.

week. I found belonging in my beliefs.

This is what I knew. This is what my parents knew, what my friends knew, what my church knew, and nothing at that time could convince me otherwise. And what I think is really, really interesting is that I think a lot of people believe

that if you're conservative in the United States, you come from one of these states. But, in reality, it means

these states. But, in reality, it means coming from [music] anywhere here.

Again, I was born in Illinois, which on the whole is a very blue state, a very, very blue state, in fact. But, if you live almost anywhere south of

Naperville, it is deep dark red. In

fact, the last time I voted in the US because the point of last contact for me is my parents' address right here in Illinois, uh I vote in their district.

And take a look at this. Every single

local or county position was only being run for by a Republican. [music]

In many cases, there wasn't even a single Democratic challenger because in all seriousness, what would be the point?

[music] In the last presidential election in Logan County, Illinois, Donald Trump got 70% of the vote, but because of the population and the demographics in the Chicago metro area, Illinois is

technically a Democratic state. But that

technicality tends to fuel a heck of a lot of animosity and feelings of inferiority in other areas of life as well. You feel genuinely unheard,

well. You feel genuinely unheard, unimportant, and left behind. And the

policies passed that you live under and beholden to are largely aimed at improving the living conditions for people who live hundreds of miles away.

And listen, I'm not saying that their vote doesn't matter. Of course it does.

[music] And to be honest, in my opinion, most of the time I think that they're making the right choices. But [music] because

right choices. But [music] because Chicago sits in this tiny little corner of the state, you feel physically, mentally, morally, and politically isolated. And it certainly doesn't help

isolated. And it certainly doesn't help that these people who hold a lot of power over us for the last 25 plus years have basically abandoned us.

Former Governor Jim Edgar, who served from 1991 to 1999, was the last Illinois governor to actually live full-time in the executive mansion in the capital in Springfield. Since then, [music]

Springfield. Since then, [music] succeeding governors have either used the residence on a part-time basis or primarily just commuted from Chicago.

Our current JB Pritzker doesn't live here in the heart of the state at the house the taxpayers pay for, but rather at his 26-room mansion on Chicago's Gold

Coast neighborhood. He only graces us

Coast neighborhood. He only graces us with his presence when he has to during a legislative session.

And And listen, even if he has his reasons, the optics are just bad. So, I think the first thing people outside of the United States often misunderstand is that

conservative America is not just a political opinion. It's an entire

political opinion. It's an entire atmosphere that politics shape and reflect at the same time.

It's the flags in front of houses, church signs, pickup trucks, talk radio, suspicion of the cities, and the casual jokes about liberals. It's the idea that

real America, real America, is rural, religious patriotic armed hardworking, and probably has a garage full of tools. We're the ones who work hard to feed and power America.

They're the ones ignoring us and telling us that we're the ones who are backwards. But the undercurrent of this

backwards. But the undercurrent of this political atmosphere is obviously religion.

Personally, I like to consider Illinois [music] Bible Belt adjacent. We're not quite the same geographic zone. We're in the in-between border region, and the values

are just as strong here. Generally

speaking, people treat Christianity not just as a religion, but almost as the default operating system of being a good American. Signs like these ones right

American. Signs like these ones right here are part of the Midwestern home decor starter pack. It's almost weird to think that other places gawk at the idea that we kneel for prayer at the 50-yard

line of a football game. To us, it is just [music] what you are supposed to do. And the complicated reality for me

do. And the complicated reality for me growing up in this specific part of the country was that when religion and politics mix, well, politics kind of [music] stop

feeling like a debate and more like a moral test.

You're not just disagreeing about policy, you're disagreeing with your family, your church, and with your hometown people who taught you right from wrong, and maybe even disagreeing

with God. And heck, that is a lot of

with God. And heck, that is a lot of pressure for a kid. So, even though yes, conservative Christian America is entangled in politics, you certainly aren't given permission to talk about it as a young Christian

person. [music]

person. [music] It's just a non-starter here. You don't

question authority or your elders, and you certainly aren't given the tools to talk about politics at the dinner table.

And perhaps on some level, it isn't that big of a deal.

After all, [music] if everyone around you believes the same thing, you don't really experience it as ideology, you just experience it as reality. That is,

of course, [music] until you leave. And now I'm fully exposing my own former ignorance here, but I had actually never spoken to a

non-Judeo-Christian person until I left for university at 18 years old.

My high school was phenomenal, and I loved it there.

And it was a lot of really good things, but it wasn't so good at diversity.

I had never met someone of a Muslim faith, let alone shared a meal with them, or took a class with them.

And the same goes for someone who proudly self-identifies as a liberal.

Leaving for university, even if it was still in deep red Missouri, provided me with a new found perspective of how people can think differently, act differently, and vote differently while still wanting the same thing.

[music] A better future. And so, yeah, moving to Germany, specifically, and experiencing [music] the political activism, the spectrum of political parties, and the

ways in which young people are [music] educated and encouraged to participate in political discourse, I I can't even begin to underscore how much that rocks your foundation. And again, this is not

your foundation. And again, this is not at all an indictment of anyone in my family or friends circle personally, but looking back, you can see how in the

general public not teaching young people to have constructive, critical political discussions creates adults that lack the ability to

think critically and question their own cognitive dissonance, too. But, you

might be wondering, Ashton, how did you break away from this American bubble and move to Germany, of all places? Well,

truth be told, if you had asked me 10 years ago that I would be here, I probably wouldn't have believed you.

I didn't know anyone in Germany. I

didn't have any jobs lined up in Germany. And most importantly, I didn't

Germany. And most importantly, I didn't speak a word of German. Living in

small-town America meant that my options for learning a foreign language were limited, [music] to say the least. So,

when I decided to make the leap of faith and move to Germany, it was clear that with a full-time job, traditional language classes weren't a good fit for my busy lifestyle. But, I still craved the individual attention and

personalized feedback that I got from instruction from a native-level speaker.

But, then I discovered Lingoda, and it completely changed the way that I learned German, making it not only fun, but flexible. And I saw an explosion in

but flexible. And I saw an explosion in my German comprehension and speaking skills. If you haven't heard about them

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the description of this video. So, why

not join me? Boost your confidence in speaking and let [music] the gift of language allow you to experience new cultures, traditions, and customs in a whole new way. And while we're on the

subject of children and young adults, this specific phrase is pretty much everywhere in conservative America.

It really is about the protection of children. Protecting that unborn child.

children. Protecting that unborn child.

Protect children And yes, of course we do. I have two little kids and I understand the instinct deeply. Protecting children is

instinct deeply. Protecting children is one of the most basic human impulses there is.

But in conservative America, that phrase often gets used in a very selective way. Protect children from

selective way. Protect children from morally suspicious books. Protect them

from drag queens. Protect children from learning the darker parts of American history or from woke ideology. But then,

when the conversation is about health care, paid parental leave, child care, poverty or school lunches, well, then suddenly everyone becomes a constitutional scholar. Suddenly, it's

constitutional scholar. Suddenly, it's really complicated and suddenly we have to talk about personal responsibility and oh, could we really afford something like that? And of course, government

like that? And of course, government then is never the answer. And and living in Germany has made that specific contrast feel absolutely insane. And to

be fair, this isn't Germany because in many European countries, protecting children often means building systems around families. Most countries in the

around families. Most countries in the EU have some form of paid parental leave, public health care, subsidized child care and actual time off. School systems in the

EU are typically not funded by whether or not your parents can afford to live in a rich zip code. And again, by no means does Europe do things perfectly.

Please do not misunderstand me.

Europeans are the world champions at complaining about their own systems and often for good reasons. But the ideas are just fundamentally different. In

conservative America, protecting children often means controlling culture.

But in Europe, it most often means supporting families materially and that difference says a lot. Recently, I

actually made a video on school lunches and the political fight over whether or not providing free school lunch should be a basic benefit. And my comment section was flooded with Americans

saying things like, "Well, don't have a kid if you can't feed it." or "Why should I pay for somebody else's child?"

Which that is just plainly ridiculous.

The United States public school system requires kids to stay there for 8 hours a day. You have no problem feeding the

a day. You have no problem feeding the world's largest prison population, but making sure that children, the future of our country, have full tummies while

they learn the mandatory curriculum is somehow crazy and unreasonable?

That to me is just ridiculous because if a society says it loves children, then love them fully.

You know, I want to know, can parents afford healthcare? Can they take the

afford healthcare? Can they take the time off when their baby is born? Can

children safely walk or bike places? Can

families exist in public without being treated like a nuisance? Or could kids get decent food at school? That is where the European culture shock really hit

me. Not because Europeans love children

me. Not because Europeans love children perfectly, but because Americans tend to talk about family values constantly while making family life unbelievably

stressful. But to shift gears here a

stressful. But to shift gears here a bit, let's talk about the elephant in the room.

Guns.

Because while yeah, it certainly can be a trope, but I do think that if you want to understand conservative America from the outside, you really can't avoid

talking about them.

In conservative America, they're not just objects. They are

symbols of independence, self-reliance, masculinity, distrust of the government, protection, tradition, freedom. And

honestly, if you grew up around that, you understand that emotional logic. You

understand why somebody would say, "I don't want to have to depend on the police. You understand why somebody

police. You understand why somebody would say the world is dangerous or if someone comes to my house, I want to be able to protect my family. That logic is

very powerful, especially in a culture that consistently tells you that you're on your own.

And again, my dad is a farmer. So, in

our household, they were just sort of a tool of the job, so to speak. Yeah,

sure, partially to hunt coyotes if he was out in the field, but also partially for protection. In our case, we are

for protection. In our case, we are quite literally on our own in the middle of the country. And, you know, this sounds kind of crazy to say out loud, but they were just sort of like

furniture.

They were just sort of there and you don't really think about them or get startled when you see them sitting in the room. For the purposes of this

the room. For the purposes of this video, they were never loaded. But, my

point is is that they're just sort of ordinary. And again, I realize that I'm

ordinary. And again, I realize that I'm probably going to say a lot of things in this video that make me sound just so ignorant, but before I moved to Germany, practically speaking, I did believe that

almost no one in Europe had You know, we're sort of constantly fed this narrative in the United States that control means the government seizing your and just not letting anybody have

one anymore. Many, many conservative gun

one anymore. Many, many conservative gun owners will point to a European country and say, "Look, they gave the government too much power and they took away their freedom to defend themselves." But,

beyond that statement being just quite frankly objectively false, it massively misses the entire point because in much

of Europe, safety means fewer not more.

The idea is not, "I feel safe because I might be armed." The idea is rather that I feel safe because almost nobody around me is armed. And once you start to

experience that, American culture starts to feel so strange. It starts to feel less like freedom and more like fear management. Like everyone is walking

management. Like everyone is walking around with this background going assumption that society could break at any moment. And I think that's one of

any moment. And I think that's one of the saddest parts of American conservatism for me.

Because underneath all of the toughness, there's often a lot of fear.

Fear of crime, government, and change.

Fear of outsiders and the fear of needing help. And so in a lot of ways,

needing help. And so in a lot of ways, it becomes this physical answer to a spiritual problem. But again, from at

spiritual problem. But again, from at least a German perspective, the whole thing feels so upside down.

Because what if safety is not everyone preparing for violence? What if safety is building a society where violence is just simply less likely to happen in the

first place? But honestly, truly, I want

first place? But honestly, truly, I want to make one thing clear is that moving to Germany did not make me hate the United States.

Actually, in a lot of ways, it made me understand the US a heck of a lot better because when you leave your home culture, you finally get enough distance to actually see it.

Really see it. It's like leaving a loud room. I don't think you realize how loud

room. I don't think you realize how loud it was until the door closes behind you.

And suddenly, the things that used to feel normal start to look so strange.

And again, Europe has its problems. I know because I live there. The German

bureaucracy can make you question your will to live.

Even the paperwork has paperwork. And in

so many countries around the continent, housing is expensive, taxes are high, and integration can be really hard. So

as much as I, in this specific video, have kind of railed against my experience in the USA, I do not intend for this video to be Europe good, America bad. That's too simple and also

America bad. That's too simple and also just not true.

The point is that Europe gave me a comparison point.

And comparisons can be really dangerous because once you see that another society does something differently and it is successful, you can no longer

pretend that your system is natural and the only way.

I think for me, I really began to realize that the way things are in the US was designed. Everything we have, everything

designed. Everything we have, everything we don't have, every success or shortcoming is intentional.

The United States is not the way it is because it has to be. It's the way it is because choices were made.

And I think when Americans say, "Well, that would never work here."

what they often mean is that we have been trained to not imagine it.

And I definitely do not think that I have everything figured out, but I do think that leaving conservative America changed me because it gave me a new question.

Not which country is perfect because none of them are. I think the better question is, "What kind of life does a society make normal?"

normal?" And I think that's what moving to Germany changed for me.

It definitely didn't give me the perfect answer or the perfect country or the perfect social experience, but it certainly broke the spell.

Because when you grow up in one culture, especially a very confident one, you think the walls around you are the edges of the world. But then you leave and you realize that they were just walls. And I

think once you see that, you really start asking the question that I think every single American should ask at least once.

What exactly was I taught to be afraid of? But this is just my experience of

of? But this is just my experience of what it was like growing up here. I know

that there are conservative and liberal parts of every country and I think that that sort of dichotomy is just so [music] fascinating. And I would love to

[music] fascinating. And I would love to hear your thoughts and reactions down below in the comments section. And

[music] as always, if you enjoyed what you saw today, be sure to hit that thumbs up button. And for more content [music] from Ty Bastian, hit that subscribe button.

So, I'll see you in the next video.

Cheers.

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