I'm 29 and I wasted my 20s

I'm 29 and in a few months I will be 30.

When I look back at my 20s, I think I've had some great experiences. I had good times and I went on so many adventures.

But if I'm being honest, I also spend a lot of time worrying and trying to check off boxes, seeing my life as like one big to-do list. When I was a teenager, I thought that in my 20s, I have to check

off milestones like be in a relationship, get married, buy a house, have kids, and have everything figured out. Well, now coming from a woman who

out. Well, now coming from a woman who is turning 30 soon, I'm not in a relationship. I'm not married. I don't

relationship. I'm not married. I don't

have a house. I don't have kids.

Honestly, I don't even know if I want to have kids. I still feel like a kid

have kids. I still feel like a kid myself and I'm still trying to figure things out just like I did back when I was 20. You know, years ago I had this idea

20. You know, years ago I had this idea of what my life would look like. There

was a path I thought I would follow. But

then unexpected things happened and I realized that nothing is certain and from one day to another everything can change. Co 19 the disease that defined

change. Co 19 the disease that defined our lives in 2020. Chancellor Mel

announced the plan after talks with state leaders continued well into the night. What happens when a virus hits

night. What happens when a virus hits the world? When everything turns upside

the world? When everything turns upside down and when you feel like locked away not just physically but also mentally right in the middle of your 20s when you have big dreams, plans and all these

expectations. Well, it's hard. And I

expectations. Well, it's hard. And I

during that time I felt like I'm losing control. But being locked away also gave

control. But being locked away also gave me space, a lot of space to think about my life and to reflect on it. And I

realized that there is no timeline for anything and there is also no right path to follow. Co showed me that we can't

to follow. Co showed me that we can't control everything and that life is unpredictable. We have to let go of this

unpredictable. We have to let go of this idea that we have to have everything figured out by a certain age. It's just

not possible. And you know what? That is

okay.

For most of my 20s, I thought that if I just looked a certain way, if I had the perfect body, flawless skin, or beautiful long hair, I would finally

feel beautiful. But the truth is, I

feel beautiful. But the truth is, I almost never felt beautiful, even when I achieved everything I thought I wanted.

I've wasted so much time chasing someone else's idea of beauty. And I was constantly comparing myself and my appearance to unrealistic standards, trying so hard to look like someone

else. and trying to change made me

else. and trying to change made me forget who I am and how beautiful I am in my own unique way. Every single

time when I open this app, when I open Instagram, and when I see those pretty pictures, those beautiful bodies, those flawless

women, I feel bad, and I feel I feel ugly. I feel like I'm not beautiful because I don't look like those

women. And it's so weird

women. And it's so weird because I already know before opening the app, I already know if I end up scrolling here now, then I feel bad

about myself. So why am I still doing

about myself. So why am I still doing it? And why am I comparing myself or my

it? And why am I comparing myself or my body to someone from the other side of the world? Like a person that I don't

the world? Like a person that I don't even know. And deep inside I know they

even know. And deep inside I know they might have photoshopped their photos or they make this photo in the perfect light in the perfect moment. So what is

wrong with me that I keep doing that and that I keep comparing myself to that? I

don't know. But I think it's just important to keep reminding ourselves that first of all this is not real. What

we see on this phone on the screen most of the time it's not real. And then I also want to remind myself

that beauty or feeling beautiful, we always think in terms of beauty, it's just the way we look. But

when was the last time I felt truly beautiful? I'm just thinking right now.

beautiful? I'm just thinking right now.

And there was a really special moment a couple of days ago when I felt really, really beautiful. And it was during a

really beautiful. And it was during a really nice, honest, real, and unfiltered conversation. Like I looked someone into

conversation. Like I looked someone into the eyes and he looked into my eyes and we just talked but really honest and really raw. And I was just myself and I

really raw. And I was just myself and I think he was himself as well. And it was so beautiful. And I felt beautiful

so beautiful. And I felt beautiful because I could be myself. And I

felt so safe and so beautiful in that special moment. Or just being surrounded by the

moment. Or just being surrounded by the right people where I can truly be myself. That's when I feel

myself. That's when I feel beautiful. Truly beautiful.

beautiful. Truly beautiful.

Let's talk about FOMO. Wow, everyone is so beautiful and everyone has the best time of their lives. Always except me.

Too many times I compared my body to others, but not just my body, but also my whole entire life. It's your 20s, so we should go out, we should party, we should go on adventures and travel the

world always, right? Well, my reality was just so different. I mean, yes, there had been adventures. There had

been parties and exciting things, but more often I had days when I had been at home alone doing absolutely nothing. And

it was in those moments or on those days when I felt like I'm a loser and I was missing out too many times. I was

comparing my behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. And the

truth is, I wasn't missing out. I was

just living life differently in my own way and at my own pace.

Something that really helped me, especially when I felt really insecure, when I struggled with self-doubt, when I simply just felt not good enough, was talking to someone, talking to friends,

talking to my parents, when I felt like they don't really understand my problem or they can't really help me, then I talked to a therapist. And I highly,

highly recommend that. Like in your 20s, if you struggle with something, go to a therapy. It's okay. And it doesn't mean

therapy. It's okay. And it doesn't mean that you're crazy. Not at all. It's just

you're growing as a person by talking to someone about your feelings or about things that happened in the past. I've

realized that everyone has some sort of childhood trauma or some form of inner child work to do. And the sooner you start, the better, I think. So, there's

absolutely nothing wrong by talking to a therapist. And I highly recommend it. To

therapist. And I highly recommend it. To

me, it really helped me to find more peace within myself and with a lot of thoughts that are going on in my head.

Also, something I felt and thought very often was that no matter what I do or no matter how much I do or who I am, it's just not enough in all areas of life.

From my career goals to my fitness goals, I constantly felt like I have to have or I have to do more. I think

there's nothing wrong with always setting new goals and constantly trying to grow as a person, but I wish I would have enjoyed this whole process a tiny little bit more and be more present and

be proud of myself at one point cuz no matter what I achieved, I never took the time to be proud of it. And instead, I kept running and I kept chasing and I always kept thinking of what's next.

My advice for people in their 20s. First

of all, yes, there are so many things I did in my 20s that I regret. But at the same time, I don't like all these things and all these mistakes that I made, they made me wiser. They made me learn

something and they made me reflect about my life and about myself. So, please

make mistakes and don't be afraid to make them. Keep trying. Keep failing and

make them. Keep trying. Keep failing and falling. It's all okay as long as you

falling. It's all okay as long as you always stand back up again and as long as you learn from them. I also want everyone watching, no matter if you're in your 20s or or not, I just want you

to be a bit more present again. There is

an offline world as well that we often forget about. But like this world, this

forget about. But like this world, this offline world and everything around us, it's just so beautiful. When was the last time you just had been outside and listened to the sounds of nature or

lived truly in the moment without expecting something or chasing something? You only live once and this

something? You only live once and this moment right now, it will never ever happen again. So please be more present,

happen again. So please be more present, embrace it and try to make the most out of it.

Last but not least, at the end of this video, I want to tell you to please be yourself. And I know that's hard,

yourself. And I know that's hard, especially in your 20s, and it's easier said than done, but in a world where everyone tries to be the same or look the same, just be yourself, cuz that is

your superpower. That is what makes you

your superpower. That is what makes you beautiful. That is what makes you

beautiful. That is what makes you powerful and unstoppable. Please be

yourself. And also let everyone around you, let them be themselves. Also your

20s, guys. Like it's not over after your 20s. I'm turning 30 soon and I am really

20s. I'm turning 30 soon and I am really scared. I'm really scared. But I just

scared. I'm really scared. But I just try to also see the positive in it because the older I get, the more I can learn and the more I can grow and the more I can share with you. I hope you

enjoyed this video and can't wait to talk to you soon. Bye.

soon. Bye.