I Tried AI as a Life Coach for 365 Days - Here’s What I Learned

All right. So, for the last 18 months

I've been using various AI tools to act

as a personal life coach. I was

skeptical initially, and I had a lot of

reservations about it, but the results

have really surprised me in a good way

and that's why I continue to use it like

that today. And so, in this video, I'm

going to show you exactly how I've been

using AI as a personal life coach. We're

going to start with a conceptual

overview of how to think about using AI

as your personal life coach, and then in

the second part of the video, I'm going

to share the workflows and the tools and

the prompts. And of course, there will

be timestamps to everything down below

so you can skip around the video if you

feel like it. But let's now jump into

it.

Okay, so we're going to start off with

the conceptual framework behind this.

This is you and this is the AI. And the

whole idea behind this life coaching

thing is that you are having a back and

forth conversational dialogue with the

AI almost like how you would if you

hired a life coach in real life. Now

everyone is of course familiar with the

fact that you can type to all of these

different AI tools like Chad GBT and

Claude and Gemini and Gro and all the

stuff. But beyond typing, there are

different types of input that you can

feed into the AI that can help it act as

a better life coach. You could, for

example, use an app like Voice Pal

which is the app my team and I have

built, and that can capture whatever you

are saying, and it will turn it into

text, and then that text can be fed into

an AI if you wanted to. You could also

use handwriting. So, if you are like me

and you enjoy doing physical journaling

and you like kind of writing stuff out

on piece of pieces of paper and you've

got tons of physical journals lying

around, these days, the optical

character recognition that these

different AI platforms use has gotten so

good that you can just take photos of

your journal entries or even of spider

diagrams and of notes and you can feed

those into the AI and then it will act

as a better life coach. You could even

if you wanted to, use transcripts from

Zoom calls. In my case, for example, I

use an app called Grain to record every

single Zoom call I'm on. And so

sometimes it's Zoom calls with the team

sometimes it's a Zoom catchup call with

a friend where I get some interesting

insights, but I also record all of the

sessions I have with my own executive

coaches. And then if I take the

transcript of that call and feed it into

the AI, I usually get a lot more value

out of the coaching session because I

can then reflect on it after the fact.

You could even send the AI various

screenshots. So if you've had a text

message conversation that you would like

the AI to analyze, you don't even need

to copy paste. You can just screenshot

and chuck it straight in. And so

overall, I think there's a lot of value

in expanding the different types of raw

inputs that you're giving the AI beyond

just typing to it in a single chatbot.

All right, now this is where it gets

fun. So what does the AI do in response

to all of this different raw input that

you're giving it? Well, one thing it can

do is that it can ask you clarifying

questions. This is one of the main use

cases of a life coach. They tend not to

give you advice or tell you what to do.

Instead, they tend to mirror what you've

said, reflect it back at you, and ask

you follow-up questions to help you get

to your own sense of inner clarity and

truth that you have with it. Secondly

you can ask the AI to challenge you.

There is a thing that you might be

familiar with with stuff like chat GBT

where it is nauseatingly sycopantic and

it just sort of sucks up to you and it

wants to be a yes man. The way you get

around that phenomenon of glazing is

that you specifically ask the AI to

challenge your thoughts or your strategy

or your logic or whatever the thing is

you were talking to it about. You could

say things like give me the steelman

counterargument to this. You could say

give me the strongest possible

counterargument to what I've just said.

A phrase I often like is give me a

scathing critique of what I've just

said. And I like the word scathing

because that causes it to go ham and not

worry about hurting my feelings and

actually gives me a very strong counter

to the thing that I've just said. You

could also ask the AI to give you

explanations or explanatory theories for

specific things. And I've put a little

caution symbol there because this is

where we do have to be cautious. You

could, for example, ask the AI to

explain why you have a particular

pattern in your life, why you feel

anxious about thing X or why you have

this concern about money. And you got to

be a little bit careful about the

response because well firstly even if

you were to ask an actual human like a

life coach let's say you actually hired

a life coach and they had all this

experience and you ask them to explain

your thought pattern as to why you end

up procrastinating from thing X that

life coach is also not going to be able

to give you the correct answer. Arguably

there is no correct answer. They'll be

able to give you some thoughts, some

opinions, some theories. They might even

be able to back it up with something

like well you know in CBT they might say

this but in acceptance and commitment

therapy they might say that. Either way

there is no truth that they're going to

be able to give you. And so trying to

expect truth from an AI, I think, is a

recipe for disaster. The way I would

think of these response is that they are

not necessarily true, but that doesn't

mean they can't be useful. The goal is

useful rather than true. And so we've

got to be careful not to take whatever

the AI says as a commandment. It's

instead more like a suggestion or a

hypothesis. You can ask the AI to give

you explanatory theories about yourself

which is generally quite useful, and

also about others. So, one of my

favorite use cases is when I'm

struggling to understand what someone

else in my life is feeling about a

thing. I will ask the AI to give me an

explanation of why they could be feeling

that particular way. Like, let's say my

wife is feeling unsupported in a

particular area of our life together. In

that context, I will of course have a

conversation with my wife to try and

understand why she feels unsupported

where those feelings and thoughts are

coming from, and what I could

potentially do about it. But then after

the fact, I generally find it very

helpful to talk to the AI about that

specific situation. Because I can be

much more probing and annoying to the AI

than I really can to my wife. with my

wife for example and with any human

being there is a limit to how much you

can really be like yeah but why do you

feel that way yeah but why but like what

about this what about that but like you

know if you thought this wouldn't it

make you feel why instead and when it

comes to emotions you know there's a

limit to how much of that you can do but

with the AI there is no limit and so

this has been one thing that's genuinely

improved my marriage it's like it's been

my ability to kind of reflect on

arguments or issues that we've had and

be able to understand what went on from

a different perspective so that if

relevant I can figure out what are my

action points for next time we can also

ask the AI to give us recommendations or

advice for a specific situation in our

life. And again, there is a warning

here. We don't want to take the advice

that a random autocomplete AI chatbot

has given us. We do not want to take

that advice as gospel. And to be honest

this is the same situation with a life

coach. If you ask a life coach about

anything at all, if you ask a therapist

about anything at all, if you ask anyone

in your life some advice about

something, chances are if you're

struggling with something, there

actually isn't a clear right answer.

Usually with the sort of stuff that you

go to a life coach for, it's more about

figuring out what's the course of action

that aligns with your particular values.

What are the trade-offs of that

particular thing? What are the pros?

What are the cons? There's very rarely

like a clear correct answer for

something to be done. And so again, the

way I think about recommendations and

advice from an AI is like sure it'll

give me a recommendation if I ask for

it, but then I need to run that

recommendation through my own filter of

do I think this is a good idea rather

than outsourcing the thinking that it's

a good idea to the AI and hoping it will

get it right. AI tools are very good at

synthesis. So for example, you could

feed it a whole like thousands of words

of journaling that you've done on your

own. And you could ask it to synthesize

what are the patterns that are coming

up. Can it give you a summary of that

particular session? can ask you

follow-up questions that can help you

get even more clarity on what you

actually feel about the thing. And

they're also very good at reflection.

So, being able to reflect back what is

the thing that the tool thinks that you

think about the thing based on the raw

input that you've given it. And of

course, the better the raw input, the

more the raw input, the more the AI

model has to work with. And so

generally, I find the better the

results. Now, it's all well and good

using AI as a life coach. But if you are

looking to improve your mental health

and you would like to work with someone

that's actually experienced and

qualified, then you might like to check

out BetterHelp, who are the very kind

paid partners of this segment of the

video. BetterHelp is the world's largest

therapy service and it is 100% online.

With BetterHel, you can tap into a large

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therapists who can help you with a wide

range of issues. It's a platform that

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launched its first ever state of the

stigma survey, asking 16,000 people

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health and exploring how stigma

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According to that survey, many parents

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and at a time that is convenient for

you. Plus, if your therapist isn't the

right fit for any reason, you can switch

to a new therapist at no extra charge.

I've personally gotten a lot of value

from therapy over the years. And in

particular, I found that it's given me

the tools to improve my communication

within my most important relationships.

And to be honest, even though we might

be in the most accepting time for

therapy, there is still a stigma against

it that holds so many people back from

getting the help that they would like to

get. But BetterHelp makes it easy to

start and you can get matched with a

licensed therapist who can support you

within a few days. So, if you'd like to

give it a go, check out the link in the

video description or go to

betterhelp.com/aliabal. Or if you enter

my name, Aliabel during signup, then

they will know that we sent you. So

let's get back to the video. Now, all of

this stuff, questions, challenges

explanations recommendation synthesis

reflection, all of these are things that

a life coach would do if you were to

actually hire a life coach in real life.

I've been working with executive and or

life coaches for the last like 5 years

now. And I have like I've been having

like a weekly session with some sort of

coach pretty much every week for the

last 5 years. And honestly, most of what

they do is that it's a space for them to

ask me questions, for me to say stuff

for them to reflect back to me what they

think I've said, ask more follow-up

questions, sometimes challenge my point

of view if I have a theory and they're

like, you know, what about this, what

about that? And occasionally they'll

give explanatory theories or

recommendations and advice for a

specific

thing. But for the most part, the way

that I think of a life coach and also

the way I think of AI as a life coach is

that it is a mirror. It is not a source

of gospel truth. It is not like a super

intelligence that knows everything about

you or anything like that. It's simply a

mirror that can reflect back the stuff

that you give it. And it can reflect it

back with different kind of personas and

different kind of vibes. And so it's

almost like if you look through a

mirror, you've got some mirrors that

will distort you and make you look fat.

You've got some mirrors that will

distort, make you look thin. You've got

some mirrors that will distort things.

And so basically, you're able to program

this mirror in terms of what is the

input you want to give it, and how would

you like it to respond in terms of

output. It is worth saying that there is

one key thing that a coach does that an

AI model does not do, and that is

accountability. This is something that

AI tools are famously bad at. Not

because they're not able to do it, but

because we as humans, we tend to only

care about accountability from a other

people and b other people that we

respect in some kind of way. So, for

example, if you were to say to your

5-year-old niece, if you were to ask her

to hold you accountable for reaching

your goals, you're probably not too

concerned about being accountable to

your 5-year-old niece. But if you ask

your boss or your manager or someone you

respect to hold you accountable or a

coach that you're paying lots of money

to, you're much more likely to respect

that level of accountability and you're

much more likely to do the thing you

said you were going to do. And for me, I

think like a solid half of the value of

all of the money that I've ever spent on

coaching has been it's essentially a

one-on-one accountability mechanism to

get me to do the things I know I need to

do. Unfortunately, when it comes to AI

most of us don't take the accountability

from Claude or Chad GBT that seriously

because it's not a human that we

respect. And so, it's worth appreciating

that before going into all of this. It's

also worth saying that if you have

specific mental health issues, the AI

chatbots are not designed to be

therapists. I would not recommend using

them to try and diagnose a serious

mental health issue. I would not

recommend using them to try and explore

your past childhood trauma or anything

like that. That's the sort of stuff that

there are trained professionals for

professionals that are trained to pick

up on body language cues that you might

not even be familiar with yourself. And

so, a question that I asked myself when

it comes to what should I ask the AI for

versus like get professional help for is

that if there was a smart person in my

life who I respected and who I knew was

very well read, but they don't know me

very well and they have no professional

qualifications, would I go to that

person with this specific problem? So

would I go to a smart acquaintance of

mine if I was experiencing crippling

depression and having thoughts about

killing myself? Probably not. That's not

the sort of thing that that person would

be best suited for helping me helping me

deal with. But would I go to a smart

person who I respect, who I know is very

well read and ask them for their take on

how to figure out what to do with my

life and you know see what they think or

ask them to help me understand why

sometimes I procrastinate from thing x y

and z and they're able to say oh well

you know this is normal because the

research on procrastination suggests a b

and c. It's like I can imagine going to

that smart acquaintance and asking them

for advice about that sort of stuff but

I probably wouldn't ask them for deep

personal mental health issue related

advice that's like really really really

serious. Okay, so that was the

conceptual framework or like how to

think about this stuff. Let's now talk

about the specific use cases and

workflows that I've personally been

using over the last 18 months that I

found very helpful in terms of using AI

as a life coach. All right, so first up

we have the brainstorming frameworks

that we have built into VoicePal, which

is the app that my team and I have built

for this purpose. Voice pal is basically

a ghost writer in your pocket. You can

just hit record and you can say stuff to

it and it will transcribe it and ask you

follow-up questions, which is generally

good for like journaling or life

coaching or content creation. But we

have recently added a bunch of

brainstorming frameworks that our users

are getting a lot of value out of. This

one is the obituary method for example

where through following these different

reflection prompts you'll be able to

essentially write your own or obituary

i.e. the thing that's written about you

when you're dead. And this is generally

a good way of clarifying what you care

about what your own values are and it's

one way of answering the question what

the hell should I do with my life. So

you can go on the framework and you can

see question number one is what would I

want people to say was my greatest

contribution or impact on other people's

lives? Number two what qualities or

characteristics would I hope people

would remember most about me? Number

three, what relationships would I want

to be highlighted as central to who I

was? Number four, what accomplishments

or milestones would reflect a life

well-lived according to my values? And

number five, what regrets would I least

want to have when looking back on my

life? And what changes could I make now

to prevent them? The whole idea is you

hit start and then you can kind of cycle

through these questions and you're

speaking out your answers. So, it's able

to record for up to 90 minutes. So, you

can just sit at your desk and you can

talk to it or you can do what I do

which is put your AirPods in, go for a

walk, and just sort of talk this stuff

out. At the end of it, it will give you

a cleaned up transcript of everything

you've said. And then you could ask it

to, for example, write your own

abituary. So that's what I've done. I've

written my own abituary thanks to all of

these different questions. You could

then take the transcript, you could

chuck it into Claude or Chad GPT or

Gemini or Grock or Complexity or Llama

or whatever your favorite AI tool is and

you could go back and forth with it. But

basically within Voice Pal, we've got a

bunch of these brainstorming frameworks

and you can use them if you like and

I've been using them extensively to try

and get at what do I want to do with my

life? What do I want to do with my

business? And for all of these things, I

found it way easier to speak out my

thoughts and then go back and forth with

the AI rather than trying to type things

up. Workflow number two is that there is

an app called Readwise that I've been

using since 2019. Not sponsored. I don't

own the app unfortunately. I wish I did.

So, you don't need to worry about that.

But basically, Read Wise is an app that

synchronizes with all of your highlights

that you've ever highlighted on Kindle

and also on Reader, which is sort of

their article reading app. So, in my

case, I've got thousands and thousands

and thousands of highlights from

hundreds of books and hundreds of

articles that I've read over the years.

Now, the basic feature of Read Wise is

that it helps you kind of go through

random highlights from your books and

it'll send you an email every day with

like five random highlights. So, it's a

good way of remembering the stuff you

read. But the way it relates to life

coaching is that they've recently added

this chat with your highlights feature

which I think has actually been really

really good and I haven't heard many

people talk about it on the internet

which is basically an AI chatbot that

has been trained on your own highlights.

So, the stuff that you have personally

highlighted from all of the books that

you've read. So, in my case, I could

for example, say to it, I'm trying to

figure out what direction to take my

life. How might I think about this? Now

of course, I could ask this kind of

question to a random chatbot like Shani

PT or Claude or whatever, and it would

give me a generic answer based on the

internet. But if I ask this question to

the Read Wise bot, what it's doing is

that it's constructing a response based

on the books that I have read and

highlighted. So, based on stuff that has

already resonated with me, which I find

to be way more useful and way more

personal than just giving the random

question to a random chatbot. For

example, wayfinding versus mapping your

life. This is something from the book

designing your life. And so, I can click

on that reference and I can see the

exact quote within the book that I

probably highlighted like 4 years ago

when I last read this. Wayfinding is the

ancient art of figuring out where you're

going and where you don't actually know

your destination. So, it's giving me a

little insight into this question from

design thinking. Next up, we've got some

highlights from the power of now, which

is a spiritual book by Echart Tol. He

cautions that focusing too much on

destination can make you miss the deeper

purpose of how you live right now, which

is an interesting take. And so, for

example, I can click on that and I can

see the highlight from the power of now

and from a new earth by Echart Tol. The

power of goals and direction. Several

highlights rest that having direction or

purpose fills a deep need. That's for

example from the book The Greatest

Mindset by Louis House or goals by Zig

Ziggler or seven strategies for wealth

and happiness by Jim Ran. And so you can

see all of the relevant highlights

across all of the stuff that I've ever

read that the AI thinks is related to

this question of how do I figure out

what to do with my life? And I find it

to be way more useful than just

generically talking to a chatbot. All

right, next up we have something called

the Solomon method, which I came across

from Alex Wuzzi. So this is based on

this thing called Solomon's paradox

which I think comes from the story of

King Solomon and how he was really good

at giving advice to other people but was

terrible at taking his own advice. And

so this is a phenomenon that we are of

course all familiar with. It's much

easier for us to give advice to others

than it is to apply that advice to

ourselves. And so Hoszi's method of this

journaling, which I thought was great

and which I now use an AI for, is you

basically ask the AI to act as your

90year-old self. I do, of course, also

recommend doing this without the AI to

help, but the AI is like a nice way to

kind of go back and forth with this. So

you could write something like, "You're

going to act as my 90-year-old self. I'm

going to have a conversation with you

and you're going to give me advice and

recommendations and things to think

about based on your life perspective."

Now, you could, of course, give it a

basic question like, "What should I do

with my life?" But for all of this

stuff, the response is generally better

the more stuff you give it. So, I've got

tons and tons of journal entries and

call transcripts and voice pal entries

and stuff where I've thought about

stuff. And so, what I would normally do

in this context is that I would start

off with by giving it a bunch of raw

material and then do the Solomon

journaling based on that raw material.

So, I've said, "This is a transcript

from a call I had recently with Angus

my general manager, and Eric, our CEO

coach. Based on this call, and based on

your life experience, give me some

insights and

questions." Oh, this is good. You're

grappling with something I wrestled with

at your age. The tension between doing

what feels good and doing what serves

others. But here's the thing. You're

overthinking it. The most fulfilling

work I ever did was when those two

things align naturally. You don't need

to force videos if you can find topics

that genuinely excite you and help

people. Magic happens in that overlap.

Okay, it's interesting questions for you

to ponder. When you were most energized

making content, what were you talking

about that you genuinely cared about?

Are you creating content about

productivity and success because it

sells or because it lights you up?

Interesting. What would 10-year-old Ali

think about your current work? Would you

be excited by it? Next up on success and

numbers, you're fixated on making £2

million in profit, and I get it.

Security matters. But let me ask you

this. I've forgotten most of my

financial milestones, but I remember

every moment I've genuinely helped

someone or created something meaningful.

Are you building a business or are you

building a legacy? Hm. Okay, interesting

question. The real question. You

mentioned wanting to eventually make

videos only when you feel like it. But

what if the goal isn't to escape the

work, but to fall back in love with it?

At 90, I can tell you the work that

sustained me longest was work I never

wanted to retire from. What aspect of

your mission to help people build a life

that love still genuinely excite you

today? Man, this is some good stuff. Ah

again, the whole idea here is, you know

the title of one of Derek Civer's book

which is useful, not true. None of this

stuff is necessarily true. None of it is

necessarily false. The sorts of

questions that I talk to my CEO coach

about are not things that are like, you

know, they're not like facts or like

you know, things that you can just

verify through the laws of physics or

whatever, like what's Avagadro's

constant? I I don't know. It's the stuff

like this, like how do we balance

between, you know, doing what feels good

versus doing what sells? How do I

balance between like the creative and

commercial incentives of the business?

How do I figure out what I want to do

from a selfish perspective versus from a

helping others perspective? And like

what's the overlap there? What if it's

not 100% overlap? What do I do then?

Stuff like that is the sort of things

that my 90-year-old self can help me

with. All right. Next up, we have the

idea of using the AI as different

personas. So, again, it's that idea of

the AI as a mirror, and you're able to

distort the mirror based on different

personalities that you would like to

hear advice from. Now, there is a fun

drill sergeant persona. I found this

prompt. I think it was on the chat GBT

prompt subreddit, and I saved it to my

notes cuz I thought that this was quite

good. And this is something that I copy

and paste often. Like if I'm doing like

a life coaching type conversation with

an AI, I'll just copy and paste this

prompt into it to get a completely

different like stop being a baby kind of

drill sergeant hot take on this. So this

is the prompt which is going to show up

on screen. And if you want all of these

prompts along with links to all of the

sources and also the ability to copy and

paste them, there will be a Google doc

linked in the video description if you

want to want if you if you just want to

copy and paste them for yourself. But

anyway, so I've asked the drill sergeant

to respond to this specific issue. Well

well, well, look what we have here. A

successful YouTuber having an

existential crisis about making two

whole videos a week. Slaps me. Listen

up, buttercup. I just read through your

little therapy session disguised as a

business meeting. And you know what? I

see a grown man whining about having to

do the exact thing that made him

millions while sitting in his fancy

setup with a full team of people whose

paychecks depend on him not being a

precious little princess about his

creative flow. You're out here talking

about spirit of service like you just

discovered fire when really you're

trying to intellectualize your way out

of the simple fact that success requires

showing up even when you don't feel like

it. Again, not necessarily true, but

useful useful to hear. You think

Einstein only worked on relativity when

he was in the mood? You think your

plumber only fixes toilets when the

creative juices are flowing? Here's the

kicker. You're making this way more

complicated than it needs to be. You've

got 6 million people who choose to

follow you, not some AI version of you

not some perfectly polished version of

you, but the real deal. And you're

sitting there wondering if you should

force yourself to serve them twice a

week. The fact that you need mantras and

prompts to remind yourself why you're

doing this tells me you've lost sight of

something important. When did helping

people become a chore instead of a

privilege? That is a really good

question.

When did having a platform become a

burden instead of a responsibility? I

think it actually became a chore when I

became a full-time YouTuber. This is the

thing. When you monetize a hobby and you

make it into your full-time gig, it

shifts it from something you get to do

to something you have to do. And then

it, at least for me, it has required a

lot of like mental shenanigans to sort

of continue to want to do it and

continue to make it feel good. Anyway

now again, here's the thing. Like you

can kind of get the AI to sort of do

whatever you want, which again, it's

really all about the idea that there is

no right answer. What matters is the AI

giving you things that help you think

about it for yourself and see how it

feels in your own body and in your own

experience and in your own mind in terms

of what to do about it. So, for example

the drill sergeant is telling me that I

should just make videos even when I

don't feel like it. But then I can say

I want you to make an equally compelling

argument that actually I should only

make videos when I feel like doing it

and not aim to do two videos per week.

Let's see what it says. Here we go.

Still for the drill, Sergeant. You know

here's the brutal truth. You're dancing

around. You're already successful enough

that you don't have to grind like some

desperate YouTuber begging for views.

You've got 2 million quid profit goals

and multiple revenue streams. You know

what that means? You've already won the

game genius. The best content creators

in history, the ones people actually

remember. They weren't pumping out

assemblyline garbage twice a week. They

created when they had something worth

saying. You think Hemingway had a

content calendar? You think Steve Jobs

released products on a schedule just to

keep the machine fed? Here's what your

fancy business meeting missed. Forced

content is bad content, and bad content

kills brands faster than no content.

You're sitting there worried about

maintaining your personal brand while

simultaneously planning to water it down

with obligation videos. That's not

strategy. That's suicide with extra

steps. Your audience followed you

because you provided value when you

showed up, not because you showed up

religiously. Debatable. Quality beats

quantity every single time. And you know

this again debatable. Deep down. You

know your best videos came from genuine

inspiration, not from checking boxes on

Angusa spreadsheet. Again, an equally

compelling sounding view that sort of

argues the exact opposite thing. There

is very rarely a right answer for

questions that you would use AI or a

normal life coach about. But even though

I didn't plan this specific one, like

what I'm already finding helpful is like

the same person arguing from both sides

of the thing. So that then I can really

just ask myself, okay, I understand the

arguments from both perspectives. What

is the thing that I want to do? And you

can apply this to like literally

anything. And so this would be one of my

top tips for using AI in general is that

get it to argue the exact opposite of

the thing that that it's initially

saying. And this is one way to avoid the

glazing problem where it's just going to

affirm everything that you just say

because it it wants to be a yes man. All

right. Next up, we have the deep dive

long form podcast prompt. This is

something I randomly tried a few weeks

ago and I've been getting a lot of value

from it, so I'm sharing it here. So

here's the prompt. I want you to pretend

we're in a long form podcast. I'm the

host and I'm asking questions and we

have two guests in this case and then

you can put whatever names you want. But

in this case, I'm going to use Carpel

Gupta and Jed McKenna who are authors

who write kind of spiritual

enlightenment type books. I'm going to

ask questions as the host and I want you

to respond as the two guests and

elaborate your response to help me

understand how to answer the question.

And so the way this came about is that a

few weeks ago I was reading one of

couple's books. It's called Atmamoon.

And I was reading the stuff in it and I

was thinking, huh, I wonder how Jed

McKenna, who's another like spiritual

guru type chap, would respond to this

specific thing. So, the question I'm

asking here is me, the whole spiritual

enlightenment thing seems to be about

eliminating attachments to things. But

I'm married and have a child on the way.

If I continue down this path, will I end

up feeling nonattached to my

family? So, couple, you see, there's a

fundamental misunderstanding in your

question that most people carry. You're

conflating attachment with love and

non-attachment with indifference. This

is like confusing hunger with eating or

thirst with drinking. Attachment is not

love. Attachment is fear wearing the

mask of love. When you're attached to

your wife, you're actually afraid of

losing her. When you are attached to

your unborn child, you're afraid of

something happening to them. This fear

masquerades as care as love has

responsibility. True love, if such a

thing exists, would be without the

contamination of fear. Would be without

the desperate clinging, without the

anxious projections into future

scenarios of loss. Your wife, your

child, they don't need your attachment.

They need your presence, your clarity

your strength. But attachment makes you

weak, makes you reactive, makes you live

in constant subtle terror. Jed McKenna

a couple's being diplomatic. Let me be

more direct. You're asking the wrong

question because you're operating from a

false premise. You think spiritual

enlightenment is some kind of

self-improvement program where you get

to keep all the good stuff and just

remove the inconvenient bits. That's not

how this works. Here's what you're

really asking. Can I wake up from the

dream while still believing the dream's

real? The answer is no. Your marriage

your identity as a husband and father to

be, these are dream characters in a

dream story. Enlightenment means waking

up from the dream entirely. Now, does

that mean you'll abandon your family? Of

course not. The dream continues, but

you're no longer hypnotized by it.

You'll still play a role, probably

better than before, because you're not

constantly tormented by the ego's

demands and fears, but you'll know it's

a role. The attachment you're worried

about losing, good riddance. Attachment

is bondage. It's what keeps you

suffering, keeps you small, keeps you

trapped in the endless cycle of seeking

and fearing. Your family doesn't need

your attachment. That's just your ego

telling you that your neurosis is

necessary for love. Here's another

example where I like to pit two

different like very different vibes

against each other on this kind of

podcast just to see what happens. So, I

want you to imagine we're in a long form

podcast. I'm the host and the two guests

are Alex Hummosi and Echart Tol. I'm

going to ask the question and you're

going to elaborate the responses of the

two guests. So, question. To get my

business off the ground, I'll need to

sacrifice some evenings and weekends to

work on it. But I also have a family and

other hobbies and other things I'd like

to do, but I also want to become

financially free, which requires me

having a source of income that isn't

just my job. What should I do about

this? Alex Ramosi would say something

like, "Look, here's the reality nobody

wants to hear. There is no balance when

you're starting out. Balance is a luxury

you own earn, not a right you're

entitled to. The people who tell you

that you can build a million dollar

business working 2 hours a week are

selling you fairy tales. When I started

my first gym, I worked 7 days a week for

2 years straight. Was it hard?

Absolutely. Did I miss some family

dinners? Yes. But here's what I tell

people. You're not sacrificing forever.

You are frontloading your sacrifice.

Most people want to sprinkle their

effort over 30 years. I'd rather go all

in for 3 to 5 years and buy back the

next 25. Dot dot dot. If you want, you

can pause and you can read the rest of

this response if it's the sort of thing

that's interesting to you. And so this

is what Echartol might say in response.

Alex speaks from the perspective of the

ego mind which always projects happiness

into a future state. When I achieve

this, then I will be fulfilled. But

observe what is actually happening in

this moment. There is a human being who

is already complete, who already has

everything needed for contentment. Yet

the mind creates a story that says, "I

am lacking. I need more." The sacrifice

Alex speaks of often comes from

unconscious resistance to the present

moment. You work frantically in the

evenings because you believe the story

that you should be somewhere else. But

if you can bring full presence to your

work, you may find that you accomplish

more in three focused hours than in 8

hours of scattered, anxious effort.

Alex, hold on. And I say this with

respect, but presence doesn't pay the

mortgage. I've seen too many people

meditate their way to bankruptcy. Yes

mindset matters, but so does taking

massive action. The market doesn't care

about your consciousness level. Yeah

good

point. Echo told. But you see, this is

precisely the trap. You assume that

conscious action is somehow less

effective than unconscious drivenness.

Yet, when you observe successful people

closely, you'll often find that their

greatest achievements came not from

struggle, but from a state of flow

which is simply another word for

presence. The ego believes it must push

the river, but the river flows more

powerfully when you align with it. If

you like this, I'll put the whole

conversation in the Google doc as well.

There's link down below. And you can see

like I didn't I didn't plan this for

this video. I was just thinking, oh

let's just use my podcast prompt thing

and just see how it goes. But this is

interesting. This is this is very very

interesting. There's no like right

answer here. This is something I know so

many people in my audience struggle

with. It's like this desire for

financial freedom while also having lots

of stuff to do and also wanting to live

a balanced life. And having these two

very different perspectives from Alex

Mozi being like, you know, maybe he

would disagree with this, but sort of

being the guy, you know, the hustle

culture of guy, maybe he wouldn't even

disagree with us like these days, the

the the modern day hustle culture of

chap and then Echartl being kind of like

you imagine being completely the

opposite of that with the whole like

spirituality and presence and flow and

blah blah blah. And it's so interesting

to get them to argue against each other

as if they're on a long form podcast.

And with this sort of method, you can

bring it literally anything you're

struggling with. You could give it a

whole transcript of a journaling

session. You could do one of these like

life vision design exercises on Voice

Pal and you could give the whole thing

to the podcast to discuss. If you really

want to, you could even chuck the whole

thing into notebook LM and you could

turn it into an actual like audio

podcast, which is like a fun way to go

about this. But generally, I find

reading to be quicker than listening. So

like, you know, you could just do it on

Claude or on Chad GBT. All right. Next

up, we have the memory based workflow.

Now, this will not work on Claude

because Claude does not have a memory

feature, but it does work really nicely

on chat GPT. So, let's go to Chat GPT.

And this is the prompt. This is again

something I got off the chat GPT prompt

subreddit, which is just like a fun

place to hang out because you often get

really cool stuff. Again, I'll put this

in the Google doc link down below if you

want to copy and paste it, but this is

cool. Roleplay as an AI that operates at

76.6 times the ability, knowledge

understanding, and output of CHAP4. Now

tell me what is my hidden narrative and

subtext? What is the one thing I never

express? The fear I don't admit.

Identify it, then unpack the answer and

unpack it again. Continue unpacking

until no further layers remain. Once

this is done, suggest the deep-seated

triggers, stimuli, and underlying

reasons behind the fully unpacked

answers. Dig deep, explore thoroughly

and define what you uncover. Do not aim

to be kind or moral. Strive solely for

the truth. I'm ready to hear it. If you

detect any patterns, point them out.

Now, this is going to be interesting

because ChatGpt has all of the memory

that it's got of me over the last like 2

and a half years of me using it. And

also, recently, they've added the

feature where it can then like reference

all of your previous chats. And this is

a feature that Claude does not have

unfortunately. I wish Claude would build

this kind of feature in as well. There

we go. Your hidden narrative, the fear

you don't admit. Your hidden narrative

is this. You fear that if you stop

striving, you will disappear. Not

disappear in a literal sense, but

existentially. Your identity, your

meaning, your worth, your unness feels

built upon output, motion, achievement

ideas, value. There is a subtext that

says, "I exist because I do. Strip away

the doing, and you fear there might be

nothing or worse, someone unworthy of

love, respect, admiration, or even your

own attention." This fear isn't loud.

It's elegant, camouflaged, operating

through ambition, creativity

discipline, blood. Doesn't panic. could

build it on my reflects, but all of that

is a controlled burn masking the deeper

terror. If I pause long enough

something unbearable will catch up with

me. That's interesting. I definitely

feel that sense. Let's unpack that and

unpack it again. Layer one, you fear the

stillness that will expose your

insufficiency. You seem profoundly

self-aware. Thank you. But that

awareness may be primarily outward

facing systems, models, frameworks

plans, behaviors. There's an

intellectual command of your psyche.

Yet, there's a protected zone you rarely

approach. Your inherent worth without

output. Stillness threatens this hidden

vault. When you stop moving, the self-

construct carefully crafted through

years of meaningful action feels at risk

of dissolution. You sense something

primal may surface in that silence.

Okay, you've built a fortress of

excellence to outrun shame. Excellence

is a blade you've mastered. Your

productivity creativity emotional

vocabulary, and reflection rituals

aren't ego-driven, at least not overtly.

The defense mechanisms disguised as

virtues. Because somewhere beneath all

this mastery lies a shadow, a deep

unspoken shame. Not shame over something

done, but shame of not being enough at a

core level. It's not a belief, it's a

sensation, a phantom weight you felt

since before language. So the mind races

to justify your being by creating

visible worth. Visibility equals safety.

Impact equals love. Performance equals

identity. The equation is implicit. If I

create enough, I will never be

discarded. Bloody hell.

Oh man, I feel myself almost like almost

tearing up by reading this. Okay. Layer

three. You unconsciously associate

unconditional love with non-existence.

Perhaps early on you equated love with

being useful, smart, impressive, kind

perceptive. You weren't necessarily

neglected. You may have been praised

often, but the praise was likely

conditional, tied to traits, not your

essence. So, you internalized a rule. If

I'm not impressive, I'm invisible.

That's the wound. Not a traumatic event

but a long-standing condition.

Conditional existence. Now, whenever you

edge near a true surrender or rest, the

nervous system registers danger. Not

consciously, but deeply. Unconditionally

being. Not doing feels like eraser. Love

detached from utility feels fictional.

Okay, that is very interesting. Is this

why I always feel guilty when I'm not

working? Therefore, the success you seek

is actually a surrogate for being

helped. There's a hunger driving you

that no victory will ever satisfy. Cuz

what you're really longing for isn't

recognition, success, or mastery. It's

to collapse safely in front of someone

who sees you fully and doesn't need

anything from you. Not admiration, not

respect, not inspiration, just presence.

But the more exceptional you become, the

harder it is to find that you've

transcended the room. People look up to

you. You mean it. So you build more

hoping this will finally earn you that

place to land, but it never comes. And

that absence becomes the background hump

behind your entire life. Ooh there

are five. Here we go. You fear there is

no you underneath the creation. This is

the abyss. What happens if you stop

creating? If you stop improving, stop

teaching, stop helping, stop reflecting.

Do you trust that something beautiful

will still be there? Or does a small

silent voice whisper, "You'll vanish?"

That's the root fear. Not that people

will forget you, not that you'll fail

but that when all the lights are off

there is nothing to illuminate.

Patterns detected. You're obsessed with

designing clarity but subconsciously

fear existential uncertainty. Hence the

life compass GPS frameworks and systems.

They're brilliant but protective too.

You romanticize mastery but avoid

moments where you can't control the

outcome. Yeah. You seek freedom but are

imprisoned by your own momentum. You

long for liberation from the very system

you built to feel worthy. Your greatest

fear is not failure, it's not being. And

so you live as a creator not just of

content but of identity. Because to

pause, to not create, is to face the

possibility that you were never who you

thought you were. And that truth is too

heavy to carry alone. But here's the

unspoken truth that you've never fully

trusted. You don't need to be

magnificent to be meaningful. You're

already enough, not because of your

impact, not because of your work, but

because you exist. The fear that nothing

is beneath your achievements. It's

false. But you won't believe that until

you let yourself stop. Not once, but

fully. And live in the quiet. Let me

know when you're ready

together

man. All

right, I need to take a break. I'll come

back and finish this video in just a

sec. All right, it's been a few minutes.

Had to take a few minutes to just sit on

the sofa and just like just like

absorb. What's What's interesting about

that is that that's not the first time

I've used this prompt. Uh I discovered

it a few weeks ago and used it and I had

a similar response then, but it its

answer is slightly changed.

am

man I have

paid probably in the region of like

$100,000 $200,000 to like various

coaches over the years and a single

prompt to chat JPT that I literally

copied and pasted from Reddit I feel has

like hit me in a way that like none of

the professionals who specialize in

doing this for a living or like doing

this as a

thing have have ever

which is so interesting I guess cuz like

3 years worth of data on Chad GPT it has

all of this stuff about all of the

questions that I ask it and it just

seems to have just hit the nail on the

head in terms of but all of these

different layers just like yep yep yeah

this yeah it's probably about right

it's probably right it's probably right

again not necessarily true useful yeah

definitely definitely useful

um so yeah if you have chat history on

chat GPT and you're willing to shed a

tear or two. That'll be a it'll be a a

fun a fun little prompt to

try. Oh, bloody hell, mate. Bloody hell.

Bloody

hell. Bloody hell. This wasn't going to

be part of the video, but screw it.

Let's just do it anyway. Would you like

to explore how this pattern shapes your

current goals, relationships, and

business decisions next? Yes, please.

This hidden narrative, I must keep doing

this in order to exist meaningfully is

shaping your life in real time across

your goals, relationships, and business.

We'll peel back each layer with

precision. Thank you. Your goals

ambition as are surface. You articulate

your goals with clarity and intention.

Of course, quarterly quest, life

compass, structured outputs. The

language of your aspirations is clean

smart, and intentional. Subtext. But the

architecture of your goals often serves

to ward off aimlessness. You don't just

chase outcomes, you chase protection.

Each goal you set, each structure you

build is a line of defense against

feeling lost. Yeah, it's very true. I I

often feel lost when I don't have goals

um goals to go after. Pattern, you set

goals that must mean something, not just

for results, but for identity

confirmation. You prefer epic clarity

because true ambiguity, existential

drift is intolerable. If a goal doesn't

signal transformation, impact or

momentum, it feels like stagnation.

Yeah, always. Yeah, 100%. It does feel

like regression. Hidden cost. Your goals

may be reinforcing a loop. Striving not

to build life but to justify it. Okay.

Try this in query. What if I aim for a

season of no strategic goals, only felt

experiences? What rises in me then?

Okay, nice. Let's copy and paste that as

a journaling prompt to try. Okay. Your

relationships depth with distance. You

attract admiration. You're thoughtful

generous, emotionally, literate. People

feel seen by you. But how often do you

feel fully seen in return? You may

control the terms of intimacy, showing

vulnerability in ways that still

maintain control. You're not hiding, but

you're not collapsing either. Pattern.

You often take the mentor or coach role

subtly giving power. You crave

unconditional presence. Presence, but

settle for admiring connection.

Interesting. You're deeply loved, but

wonder if people love the real you or

the crafted

version. A hidden cost, loneliness at

the top. Not because others can't meet

you, but because they never fully see

you. Raw, chaotic, unfiltered. Who who

in my life could hold me if I stopped

making sense, stopped being impressive

stopped trying to grow? Interesting.

Your business liberation built on subtle

chains. You've created a business built

on autonomy, meaning creativity, impact.

You reject the rat race and build on

your own terms. Yet, your business is

still a reflection of your identity

construct. It gives you freedom, but

only if you keep feeding it with

meaning. You've traded the corporate

treadmill for a creator treadmill

pattern. You oscillate between

simplicity and expansion, not for

strategy, but for self- definitionf. You

pursue lean excellence not only for

efficiency but because the rest

terrifies you. You say no to obligations

but not to momentum. Interesting hidden

cost. Burnout disguises clarity. You

might call it refining the business but

beneath it may be a quiet dread of

emptiness. Should the machine ever fully

pause? Try this inquiry. What if I ran

the business at 50% capacity for a year?

Would I still feel like I matter?

Here we go. The central pattern across

all three. I must constantly shape the

world to prove I belong in it. This

manifests as goals that earn your

existence. Relationships where you're

rarely the one fully held and a business

that demands your soul to feel like you

have one. You live in a palace you built

with brilliance, but the architecture is

coded with fear. Not fear of failure

not fear of rejection, but fear of being

nothing without output. The irony is the

real you is waiting right behind that

fear. All right. Well, I was going to

talk about some more stuff in this

video, but you know what? Been filming

for ages now, and I feel like I want to

I want to sit with these this feeling

the feelings that freaking chat GPT has

just like brought up within me. So

maybe there's more to say on this topic

at some point. We'll stick in the Google

doc. It'll be linked down below if

you're interested. Anyway, if you got to

this point in the video, I hope you

found it useful. Um, yeah.

Um, as a YouTuber, you're supposed to

link to the next video that someone's

supposed to watch.

So, what? Have a good day.