If You're Doing This, It's Not Love (w/ Fr. Mike Schmitz)

St. John Paul II at one point he said the opposite of love is not hate. What

do you think he said it was? Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmidtz and this is the Ascension Presents. You'd know that in

Ascension Presents. You'd know that in the Bible if you're looking at Genesis 1 and Genesis chapter 2. You realize that that what we're made for, I've talked about this so many times. We're made for at least three things, right? We're made

for labor. You know, God works. He puts

us in the garden to work. Made for

leisure. He rests on the seventh day.

We're called to enter into his rest. And

he made us to share in maybe God's deepest identity. The catechism says it like

identity. The catechism says it like this. It says Jesus reveals the

this. It says Jesus reveals the innermost secret of God. What is the innermost secret of God? That God is an eternal exchange of love. Basically,

another way to say it is the innermost secret of God that is that God is love.

Love isn't just something God does, but love is who God is. If you're made in God's image and likeness, the innermost secret of you is that you're made for love. So, we're made for

three things: for labor, for leisure, and for love. It's our call. And in some ways that love is our deepest identity.

And yet what happens is well Genesis 1 and two revealed as is all good. We're

made for that. Genesis 3 reveals the brokenness and the introduction of brokenness. And so now from now on we

brokenness. And so now from now on we all have distortions. We have a distortion of labor. We have a distortion of leisure. And we experience a distortion of love. So what's the distortion of love? This is what John

Paul II was getting at. He said the opposite of love is not hate. The

opposite of love he said is use. The

opposite of love is not hate. The

opposite of love is use. I would say that's one of the distortions of love.

There's another distortion of love though. You know, we can see what John

though. You know, we can see what John Paul is saying. The opposite of love.

Love is that if love is what? Love is

willing the good of the other, right? So

love is willing to go together. And yet

what is use? Use is willing to use the other, right? To it recognizes the

other, right? To it recognizes the usefulness of the other person. It

recognize the fact that that this person has something that could benefit me as something that I want. And that's a trap.

Right? Instead instead of uh it being a gaze of love, this gaze of I can will I can choose the good of this other person. Now it's where can I take use

person. Now it's where can I take use doesn't have to always be lust. That's

often how it is. But also could be manipulation. It could be, you know,

manipulation. It could be, you know, getting one over on someone, you know, pull pulling one over on someone. You

tricking them or fooling them so that now I have something that I I wanted that they used to have stealing. Like

that could be using them, right? Doesn't

have to just be lust.

But I see something in you that's potentially valuable for me. That's use.

But the other extreme, the the other distortion of love, it's kind of sneaky. And the other distortion of love is indifference. Love

is willing the good of the other. It's

seeing the other and choosing their good. Use, oh no, I'm going to take

good. Use, oh no, I'm going to take whatever I find valuable from you.

Indifference is looking at another and saying, "Oh, I'm not even acknowledging you. I'm not even noticing you. I'm not

you. I'm not even noticing you. I'm not

even necessarily even seeing you." It's

as if you don't exist. For the use, it's okay. What I what I value in you is what

okay. What I what I value in you is what you can give me. Indifference is, oh, there's no value here. Never mind. Pass.

Swipe left. Whatever that thing is, just moving on. Both of these are a

moving on. Both of these are a distortion of love. If love is willing the good of the other, choosing the good of the other. Use is I want to take whatever I find valuable.

An indifference is an unwillingness or an inability to see the good in the other, to see the dignity of the other.

And again, this could be our whole day.

In fact, for many of us, we could say, I I really try not to use people. I really

I really try not to either use people lustfully or I try not to use people in a manipulative way or try I try not to use people when it comes to like you know stealing from them or lying or whatever getting what I try not to take

from others and that would be great.

That'd be great. At the same time how often do we give ourselves a pass in simply ignoring people and being indifferent to not even just their suffering

but being indifferent to their existence.

We just walk past people day after day and don't even notice the fact that this is another person made in God's image and likeness. CS

Lewis wrote about this um where he was talking about if we could only see if we could only see the truth of every even just the most ordinary human being if we

saw the reality the spiritual reality of of what is standing what kind of being is standing in front of us or walking past us on the street. He said, "We'd either be be tempted to run in horror

because of the distortion we can do to ourselves by sin, or we'd be tempted to bow down in worship because seeing the image of God in so many ways unscarred,

and yet we're indifferent."

How many people do you and I pass with indifference? And we think, "That's

with indifference? And we think, "That's fine. That's that's that's that's fine.

fine. That's that's that's that's fine.

I'm not I'm not using them, right? I'm

not using. The opposite of love is use, so I'm not using them. That's fine. and

I can just walk past them and be indifferent to them. And yet both use and indifference are distortions of our deepest identity. Distortions of in fact

deepest identity. Distortions of in fact our highest call. Right? Jesus said,

"The great commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind soul, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself." The second greatest commandment. Use and

greatest commandment. Use and indifference both violate the second great commandment to love our neighbor as oursel. So what are we called to? Well,

oursel. So what are we called to? Well,

I would say John Paul said would say we're called to chastity. Chastity.

Where did that come from? Out of

nowhere. I guess it makes sense when it comes to use lust in knowing chastity.

But John Paul II said this. He said

chastity, what is it? It essentially

entails a quickness to affirm the dignity of the other person. The essence

of chastity is the quickness to affirm the dignity of the other person.

So if we see someone and we want to use them for however we want to use them whether through lust or some other way the essence of chastity is a quickness to affirm their dignity like no that

person does not exist for me to use that person exists solely to be loved but also when I want to pass by someone and and like oh no there's nothing in that

person that I could use nothing in that person that that offers me anything so I'm going to be tempted to be indifferent. The essence of chastity is

indifferent. The essence of chastity is the quickness to affirm the dignity of the person that we're passing by. We've

really hollowed out the word chastity.

If that's what chastity really is, we have really emptied it of the the be beautiful richness of what it's meant to be. The essence of chastity is the

be. The essence of chastity is the quickness to affirm the dignity of the other human human being other person.

You and I can exercise chastity every single day. And I don't just mean we're

single day. And I don't just mean we're not going to lust after people. What I

mean is to quickly acknowledge this is a human being. made in God's image and likeness.

being. made in God's image and likeness.

This is a human being of great incredible goodness. This is a human

incredible goodness. This is a human being who's worth loving. To have that kind of view, that kind of perspective, to have that kind of look in our eyes

reflecting the truth in our hearts would be amazing.

And that is actually what you're made for.

Love, your deepest identity. So, how do we exercise that today? equieness for

every person we come across to affirm the dignity of every human being.

Anyways, from all presents, my name is Father Mike. God bless.

Father Mike. God bless.