It Took Me 39 Years to Realize What I’ll Tell You in 14 Minutes

What if I told you that you're not

focused on the right things in life?

What if all this time you spent trying

to crack the code, asking why things

happen, what it all means, where it's

headed, was actually a distraction. I'm

going to save you 20 years of suffering.

Because what you're really looking for

is so much simpler. Although it would

take me 30 years to learn. Oscar Wild

actually had an amazing line about the

punishment for knowing exactly what you

want to be is that you know exactly what

you want to be. The real journey is in

waking up every day and figuring out

more and more who you're supposed to be.

I worked in politics. I was a

journalist. I went into sales. I went

into finance. Uh I worked in startups.

And then I finally got online. Now I own

a bunch of businesses and started

investing in these small businesses

until they were big, huge businesses.

But I don't think I found my actual path

until 5 years ago and I'm 39. You know,

my mom used to say the grass was

greener, but that's not true. I just

kept learning and growing because the

most boring journey of all would be one

that's a straight line. There's nothing

interesting in that. You were meant to

have a bunch of curves, curve balls, a

bunch of may and could have done and a

bunch of missed shots that later on you

find out you were so grateful you never

took. You know, 10 years ago I got

pushed out for the first time from a

company. I guess some people say fired.

I like the sound of pushed out better.

And I was heartbroken. Like I had given

my all to this company. I had made them

millions and millions of dollars and

they had told me I wasn't good enough.

So I spent a few literal months

depressed, anxious, upset until my

father told me a story. He said, "Life

is often filled with nails we step on."

And we could spend our lives trying to

figure out why it got there, who did it,

whose fault it was, or we could just

pull out the nail and feel it. It hurts,

but we're fixing it. So at that point, I

finally realized it was the greatest

gift I could ever have. And that's when

I first started truly betting on myself,

investing in things, owning some of

these businesses, not listening to

people who told me that I wasn't good

enough. That's when I had my first

really big personal win. I made my first

dollar all by myself. So, if you've been

fired, I'm sorry, but also

congratulations. That's life. You're

supposed to move through it like a

river. You want to be on a boat, not on

a rock that has to stand steady and

never move and never sees anything

differently. And, you know, some of us

are just born with the fight in us. You

know what I mean? I had my heart broken.

Like truly broken. I was deep in a

relationship with a person who

completely lied to me. Basically told me

he loved me. Turns out he had a whole

family. He did not love me. I was in

fact one of many. I was so hurt I could

barely handle it. The only thing I could

do or even think about doing was moving

out of that city. I didn't know how to

walk the streets there anymore. But

something flipped for me and I realized,

that guy. It's his loss. It

inspired me to go become the person I

wanted to be. That I didn't feel like

another person had to choose me. I could

choose myself. You don't have to be

stronger or brave or have more courage.

For some reason, you just got that grit

in you, that consistency to push through

that sick little part inside of your

head that likes it when there's a fight

because you want to see what you're made

of. I don't think God gives us what we

deserve. I think God gives us what we

can handle. So, whatever you got going

on in front of you, just know the big

guy believes you got everything you need

to handle it. But a harsh truth is, if

you hang out with losers, you will

become a loser. If you hang out with

people who say that's not possible, you

will become a person who thinks it's not

possible. If you hang out with people

who have never built anything, you will

never build anything. If you hang out

with people who make fun of other

people, they'll make fun of you next.

Cut them out relentlessly. Apologize

zero for it. You know, on the road to

success, I lost so many friends. The

worst part of it is I didn't choose to

lose them. Most of them I tried to pull

along to invite places, but for some

reason, my success would trigger them.

one of my oldest friends from college I

now never speak to because she said I

was too focused on my builder friends

and didn't want to go out and drink with

her anymore. She made up this whole

story in her head about how she thought

I thought she was less than her. And I

thought, man, I never thought that until

right now. Since then, of course, she's

done all the things, you know, talked

badly about me to other people, and I've

pretty much lost that entire friend

group. But here's what I've realized.

Losers don't like winners. They will not

want you to win. They will smile. They

will pretend they're happy for you, but

they are not. Only other winners want to

see you win. But losers can become

winners. So, if you've been a loser

before, it's okay. You can change your

stripes. But it is not your job to

change other people from losers to

winners. It's your job to become a

winner yourself. Doing that is how you

lift people up. Staying around other

people who want to keep you down is how

you stay down forever. Imagine trying to

get healthy when you're sitting in a

petri dish of disease. We take on what

is around us. You'll start looking like

them, talking like them, acting like

them, and before you know it, you'll

have the same life as them. There's

nothing worse than being around cynics

who have achieved nothing. And you know,

that kind of made me think that like the

other day I heard this ridiculous line

that stuck with me. Do crackheads say,

"I can't get high because I'm broke?"

Nope. They figure it out. So don't let a

crackhead work harder than you. It's

such a ridiculous idea and yet so true.

The real question is like, how bad do

you want it? Are you obsessed? Are you

grinding? You're just kind of

conveniently interested in something a

tiny bit. I know it may seem like I've

got it figured out with these big

companies, books, helping thousands of

people buy businesses, but I just want

you to know I went to Arizona State

University. I partied more than I'd

studied. Thank god social didn't exist

because wow, we don't need to see those

videos. I made every excuse under the

sun. I drank too much. I stayed up late.

I dated the bad guys. I got close to a

few people who wanted something more in

life and everything changed. But when I

look back at the other people, my

roommates from Arizona State, man, they

kept doing that exact same thing. It's a

reminder. Don't let people who barely

survive in life try harder than you do.

Trying is the coolest thing in

existence. There's nothing cooler than

trying really, really hard at something

and not listening when other people tell

you it's not possible. So, in some ways,

go work harder than a crackhead. On the

flip side of that, here's a weird secret

I hope you learn faster than I did. When

you get into rooms with people who have

way more zeros than you, your problems

are so small they can see into your

future. I always thought the word like

mastermind or networking was kind of

gross. self-s serving. Then I got into

one kind of on accident. I sat down with

this guy named David who was worth a

hundred million. And at the time a

hundred million to me was like I

couldn't even fathom. You know, now we

have companies that do $100 million, but

back then I was like that's the richest

man in the world. So I asked him a bunch

of questions and I think he wasn't used

to so direct of questions. But I ended

it with, well, how can I help you? you

know, I I obviously don't have your

expertise, you know, but maybe I have

people that I could help you connect

with. How could I not be self- serving

because you've helped me for an hour?

And as I did that, he kind of looked at

me, gave me a few options. I connected

him, and I realized that that

relationship, just asking what I could

do in return, led to us doing deals

together, led to millions, and led to me

rethinking the way I think about money

forever. So, don't be afraid to get into

rooms where you're the dumbest. In fact,

take every opportunity to have no ego

and ask questions. I don't think you

need to pretend to be smart and know it

all. And if you're new here, let me make

one thing clear. Like, I'm not here to

just inspire you. I'm here to make sure

you do the damn thing. The number one

thing I hear is, "I just haven't had the

opportunity. I actually made a room just

for you." It's called Main Street Over

Wall Street. It's the room where lives

change. Click the link and figure out

how to get into our community of owners.

This room is for people who want to hit

the next level of the game. And I think

if you're watching this, it's probably

you. And what I did realize there too is

that it's a joy as you get more success

when people figure out you did mean

exactly what you said. You know, last

year I had a guy who I thought was a

friend just come at me on the internet.

He posted I think the exact words were,

"You don't have an original thought in

your mind, Cody." And I was like, "Whoa,

I we're friends." Like I had helped him,

but whatever had happened in his life,

the guy thought that I was a waste of

space. And I I asked him like, "Hey, I'm

so sorry if if you felt like this. Uh

why?" He came at me even harder. And at

some point there something flipped and I

realized this isn't about me. This is

about him. Sometimes your light is going

to shine a spot in somebody else's

darkness. When you start getting bigger

than other people that used to be bigger

than you, they're going to push back.

And so I did the exact same thing. And I

said, "You know what? I'm sorry. I

apologize. The only thing I regret in

this conversation is apologizing to you

because you should be doing it to me."

And I was really proud of myself in that

moment because at some point you're

going to get excited by the idea that

you're not there to please people. You

meant it. You're keeping the boundary.

You're not interested. You're not

smiling through it. You got lines now,

borders that won't be crossed. You

understand what you're worth finally.

And the crazy part is you're worth way

more than you think right now. So get

excited to put up some fences. You know,

I also had this uh this pastor that I

loved and I just started going back to

church again. But then one of my

friends, Nick Gray, brought me and I

started to to feel what it felt like to

believe somebody else had my back, a

higher power. And I don't know if you

know this, but the most common saying in

the Bible is do not be afraid. And I

remember that every time I'm stressed or

scared or worried to like stop because

what you are supposed to have will come

to you when you are supposed to have it.

You actually never have to really force

anything in life. You just have to

pursue the things in front of you and

trust the process. the stress, the

anxiety, the worry, the concern, none of

that is necessary. It's normal. It's

hard to kill, but it's not necessary

because it's all coming to you. And if

you just go with the flow and keep

swimming like Nemo, I think he had the

right idea. And all of that gives me

faith because I've realized if I could

teach you one thing, it would be this.

You got to stop giving a about what

other people think of you. Don't give a

because they don't have to live

your life. They're not in your head.

They don't see your future. They're not

part of the plan. They don't understand

why you've been put here. That's between

you and if you have a faith like me,

you're God. They don't like you. That

always makes me chuckle. I'm like, you

don't like me. You don't even have

personality privileges. You don't even

know me. They think about you so little

and yet you spend so much time thinking

about what they think of you. Now, every

time concern from what another thinks

crosses my brain, I imagine me grabbing

it like a mosquito buzzing around my

head and then I smash it. And it's a

little graphic. I think about the full

squish. You know, I hear that little

negative voice they got and I picture it

just like a buzzing mosquito. Smash. It

always makes me laugh and reminds me

that blood suckers don't get to give

feedback. I go back to this moment also

where I'm walking in Mexico City. And I

don't know if you guys know this, but I

used to run a really large asset

management business there, a billion

dollars in assets under management. It's

like an investment business. We had this

one client really that almost half of

our business in Mexico. They're called

Bottomex. It's a really big financial

institution. It had taken me years to do

business with them. They had millions

and millions and millions of dollars

with me. And what was crazy is one day

my contact there goes, "I have to tell

you something and you can't tell

anyone." And then he tells me that

Bottomax is getting bought by my

competitor Black Rockck. I was going to

lose all of the business I had built. I

had I had spent years building with this

client. My entire business was basically

going to go over way overnight. you

know, no money, bankrupt in a way in

Mexico. And I was super stressed. So, I

went on a walk like I do when I'm

stressed in Roma in Mexico City at night

by myself, which probably wasn't the

best idea back then. And I felt like

that tingly sensation at the back of my

head, you know, like somebody's

following you, walking alongside you.

And I saw these two guys on the side of

the road on the other side. And I was

like, well, this doesn't seem good. I'm

going to like get my wallet stolen.

But then I was like, this could

actually get worse. It's like dark. I

don't know what's going on. So, I

started going into overdrive. And I felt

like that moment where you can see the

little red pill and you're like, do I

take it? And then can I see the matrix?

And I knew where I was and I knew a

couple of spots that I could sort of

sneak into. And there's a place where

there's a courtyard that looks like the

door would be locked, but it's not. So I

took a risk, ran into the courtyard,

shut the door, uh, and as they turned

the corner, was really quiet. Hope they

didn't find me. My bet was they were

going to just walk right past. I heard

him talking about me as we were doing

it. And I remember being obviously super

scared. But you know what I realized in

that moment? I kind of got like this

adrenaline rush. And I realized that

winners love pressure. And I thought, if

I can figure out this situation with

these two guys alone on a street in a

foreign country in my second language, I

can figure out business because business

is not going to kill me. So I think you

can tell if somebody's going to win or

lose by how they react when the vice

starts to grip them. Do they crack? Do

they push back? I get the chills

thinking about a little pressure. It's

like anticipation for the show, you

know, my chance to stand on stage and

show what I'm about. So, picture

yourself, you know, kind of like

cracking your knuckles, cracking your

neck, rolling the shoulders, standing a

little bit straighter. Why? Game time,

baby. What a gift pressure is. It means

somebody believes that you're capable of

stepping up and taking swings. No

pressure, no diamond. No pressure, no

profit. No pressure, no privilege.

Pressure is always required if you want

to become a winner. And you got to learn

how to smile when it shows up. And if

you ever struggled, this last one is for

you. You know, I don't know if you've

ever felt like you were a complete and

utter failure, like you had wrapped up

your entire identity and whatever you do

for work. Uh that happened to me. I was

a CEO. And for me, that's who I was.

Then one night, I get a phone call and

find out that the business is almost

completely out of money. I was like so

embarrassed thinking, what am I going to

do when these people who depend on me, I

can't pay them? What are people going to

think? How could I be so dumb? How could

I trust this person that had stolen from

me was completely inept? I was

despondent. And I thought like 10 years

were going to go away basically in the

blink of an eye. And everybody was going

to realize I was a total failure. And

somehow in the middle of the night, I

realized something. Regret is a greater

disappointment than failure. If it all

failed, at least I tried. And that

little realization was that sparkle of

hope I needed to keep digging until I

found the solution to my problem. If you

are struggling right now, know this. You

have to pay the fee. Whatever you're

thinking about doing, go big and do it.

Because the worst thing that can happen

isn't failure. It's never trying.