LEADERSHIP LAB: The Craft of Writing Effectively

thank you

let me immediately clarify things a bit

by telling you a little bit about the

difference of the University of

Chicago's writing program where one of

as far as we know two in the country who

takes what we call a top-down approach

to writing rather than bottom up every

other school in the country their

primary constituency is freshmen so most

every school has something like freshman

composition freshman writing freshman

seminars Etc we don't actually have that

course here

um

as I remind people Chicago is

I don't know if it's the only country

only University in the country but one

of the few that has more faculty than we

have freshmen

that's because our program teaches

throughout the medical school and they

don't usually count those faculty when

they're talking about faculty ratios to

students but we teach in the medical

school all the time and they're

chock-a-block with faculty because most

of their doctors are are also faculty

members

so when this program got started in the

late 70s early 80s our task was not to

help the students it was to help the

faculty

um this writing program got created

because the people on this campus as a

guy who started used to say

you know our freshmen write pretty well

by the time there are third and fourth

year students they don't write as well

our graduate students struggle

but the people with the real writing

problems are the faculty

which just turns on its head the

standard notion that writing is a basic

skill the standard notion in the U.S and

around the world is writing Reading

Writing arithmetic you're supposed to

learn it in high school or grammar

school high school maybe a little bit of

college

but if you have to learn it after that

there's something wrong with you and

therefore there's something remedial

about programs like this I've been

talking to people for 30 years

who their main reaction to any program I

teach is that they do not want to be

there

and they think there's something a

little bit you know

offensive I teach a lot in London

let me tell you get a whole bunch of

Oxford and Cambridge educated

professionals or academics in a room

and say we've brought in this guy to

help you with your writing and by the

way he's from Chicago

you know waves of hostility coming at me

across the room

so I need to I need to to know that this

is not a remedial writing course this is

not a course in anything that you should

have learned earlier on and didn't it is

overwhelmingly not a course in rules I

am not going to give you rules for

writing in fact I'm going to spend a lot

of a Time attacking the fact that your

training has been rule governed training

we think that is very bad for people who

are operating at the level that you're

operating

rural government training is very useful

for people who are and forgive me for

saying this

who are churning out a lot of writing

Each of which is a relatively low value

so if you're working at a business where

you have to write a short memo every day

or two to convey some information to

somebody it's fine to have a rule it's

fine to say this is what it's going to

look like here's what your sentences

should look like get it out

but that is not what you're doing that

is not the level of value your work has

to generate and so you one of the things

that I'm going to be saying to you is

you need to stop thinking about rules

and start thinking about readers

so here's the problem that experts have

you are in our

our vocabulary you are what we call

Expert writers

what this means is not that you are

necessarily expert at writing although

you may be extremely good at writers

but what it means is that you are

writing about a subject at which you

have expert knowledge

you are not like high school students

who are using their writing to introduce

themselves to some something at a fairly

basic level you are operating at the

most sophisticated levels when I work

with faculty on this and other campus I

am working with people who are after all

on the frontiers of knowledge they're

thinking stuff nobody's thought before

this is very hard stuff

so

here's what you're doing

you are thinking about your world in

very difficult ways

this is a terrifically good thing and

it's the source of most of the value of

your work

now you are also writing about that

world and this is where it starts the

problem starts arising unlike a

journalist

almost surely you are using your writing

process to help yourself think

in other words the thinking that you're

doing is at such a level of complexity

that you have to use writing to help

yourself do your thinking

this is quite different from high school

students my high school teachers told me

Larry there are two different processes

first there's a thinking process then

there's a writing process I had a

teacher who said to me you are not ready

to write your first word until you are

finished thinking

and she said to me to prove this to you

I'm going to have you whenever you turn

in a paper I'm going to have you turn in

the outline you use to do your thinking

this was not a problem for me first I

wrote the paper then I wrote the outline

but I thought I was the only one

I thought everybody else when they did

this thinking just you know thought it

till they were done and then their essay

like Athena burst from their forehead

onto the page thought I was trying to

keep it secret that I didn't work that

way nobody works that way

it doesn't mean you don't have outlines

or a good idea it doesn't mean you don't

take notes it's a good idea it doesn't

mean you don't have other ways of

thinking but you are using your writing

to help yourself think

if you don't do this for most people you

cannot think at the level you need to

think

quite different say from a journalist

who's sitting down writing the

journalist is not using the writing

process to think up new ideas about the

world

you are

this means you have a very different set

of writing challenges than anybody else

has this is a course about those

challenges our program is about those

challenges

because here's the challenge

you write this text this grant proposal

this article this dissertation proposal

this book

you actually generate it on the

horizontal axis you actually generate

the text while you are doing your

thinking

but then you're going to send this text

out to readers

and the readers are going to look

through that text and if you've done

your job they're going to change the way

they see the world

so here's the problem

symbolically

you actually generate a text on the

horizontal axis

but whether it does its job depends on

the vertical axis

and here's the problem very predictably

experts use language in one set of

patterns to do their thinking

but those very same experts read with a

different pattern

so here's what happens you have used

your text as you must use it to help

yourself think but you're going to use

writing patterns and language patterns

that interfere with the way through your

readers read when they read even when

those readers are also other experts

so you are interfering with their

reading process when you're writing I

promise you you are

what happens to readers when you do that

last thing they're going to do is

they're just going to stop what happens

before then what leads up to that

stopping you're absolutely right they

stop but let's talk a little bit about

what leads up to it

you're writing like this they're reading

like this

what's the first thing that happens to

them

this has never happened to you

it right right so they misunderstand

that's the second thing that happens the

second thing that happens is you

interfere they do not understand

what's the first thing that happened

they're skipping stuff I'm going to put

that in the bucket of stopping they just

either either in little ways or big ways

they stop

right

what's the first thing

this has never happened to you you've

never tried to read something which was

clearly not written in the way you're

trying to read it I bet that in the last

week you've written you've read stuff

that was not written in the way you are

seeking to read it

what's the first thing that happens to

you

that I'm going to put that in that

doesn't understand bucket see what I

mean I mean I'm being recruited

the first thing that happens is you slow

down

and re-reading is a version of slowing

down you either read more slowly the

first time or you have to read and

reread and reread and reread you slow

down

we're going to get back to why this

matters in a minute second you don't

understand

third

come on

you get aggravated

then

you're done

right done

now when this happens to you and you

reread and reread why did you do that

why didn't you just stop

that's exactly right

what do you suppose happens if they

don't need to read it

they don't

problem is forgive me for saying this

you have no idea how to handle that

problem

you don't you really don't

why not

how many things have you written in your

life imagine the number of category

academically stuff forget the letters

and all that kind of stuff academically

stuff order magnitude

I don't know

300

300 taxes make it up 500 000 I don't

know how many is I'll make it up I'll

make it up 200 200.

a hundred about a hundred she's better

with a hundred

you've written a hundred academic texts

in your life

did the reader stop reading them

did they never no why not

they were grading it let's be a little

more crude about it they were paid

oh my God guys academics get all freaked

out when I talk about money I said guys

I got news for you your teachers read

your stuff because they were paid to

want where your teachers reading your

text

to think about the world

that's not what they're paid to do why

were your teachers reading your text

why were people paying them to do it to

change the way they see the world

no why

teachers

read texts

because they are paid to care about the

students

you've learned to write in a system

where you're writing to readers who are

paid to care about you

that will stop

that will stop right

that'll stop the rules that you've

learned about writing were rules that

were generated in the system

where you are writing to somebody who's

paid to care about you

that's over

in the real in the world Beyond school I

call it a real world but I'm not sure

it's real it's just the world Beyond

School

they're not paid to care about you why

are they reading

why are they reading your stuff why will

they read it the journals

your colleagues

because they think it's valuable to them

how much of student work is valuable to

The Faculty to which the students are

writing

and by the way some faculty who said to

you oh your work was so valued thank you

they were lying

oh they were lying it was valuable to

them but it was valuable to them because

they learned that people misunderstood

things in ways they had no idea people

could misunderstood

hmm

faculty sometimes look at me and say oh

no no Larry you're wrong no no student

writing is actually actually

professionally valuable I say then did

you publish it

then if you didn't it's plagiarism

and they said well no actually they're

valuable look here's the problem you've

got

yeah your writing needs to be clear sure

your writing needs to be organized

the rules that govern this are not what

you think they are in fact they're not

rules

yes your writing needs to be persuasive

this is way more important than this but

more than anything else from now on your

writing needs to be valuable

because if it's not that nothing else

matters it makes zero difference faculty

come into my office

and forgive me for the drama but in my

office there's two chairs in the writing

corner I have a chair at my desk and

then there's two chairs over here

there's my chair and then there's a

writer's chair and next to the writer's

chair is a box of Kleenex

and I'm not kidding

because I have people coming to me

saying I'm not getting they're not

accepting my proposal they're not

accepting my draft like a faculty who

come in and say they're not publishing

my work

and of course there's Kleenex there

because like you know careers are

depending on it

and sometimes it's because it's not

clear and sometimes because it's not

organized and sometimes it's because

it's not persuasive but overwhelmingly

it's because it's not valuable

and the other stuff doesn't matter

if it's clear and useless

it's useless

it's organized and useless it's useless

it's persuasive and useless it's useless

that's the way it is

now

this terrifies people because they make

the mistake fortunately I'm talking to

social scientists

physical scientists don't have this

mistake

they think value lies here

they think oh my God what if my ideas

just aren't valuable

it's a Dopey

there's no such thing as value here

values here

the question is whether this particular

community of readers values it

which is why it's so much about readers

and not about content can you imagine

writing a text which one group of

readers thinks is terrifically useful

and another group of readers thinks is

useless

well yeah I gotta tell you sometimes PhD

students come into my office and say I

really got to get this article published

I'm under so much pressure to publish I

got to publish and I say okay what

journals are you going to submit it to

and they look at me and say what does

that matter

because they think it needs to be clear

it needs to be organized it needs to be

persuasive and those are just sort of in

the thing itself or anybody could look

at it and decide it's clear that's crazy

wrong but most importantly is valuable

value lies in readers right

not in the thing

and so how people can think about their

writing without thinking about readers

is probably the biggest challenge you

face you've been trained to think about

writing formally rule governed

you have to stop and you have to think

about readers

not generic readers God help you if you

came up in a system with standardized

tests where you had to write papers for

a standardized reader like on an AP test

or an SAT test that's disastrous because

it specifically teaches you not to think

about any differences between readers we

are going to be talking about

differences between readers and thinking

about those differences because that's

what I think

that's how writing actually works except

in the bizarre world of standardized

testing so I'm going to pass these out

okay turn to the first page and here's

what I want to do

very quickly I want to imagine that this

is a group of

uh by the way any biologists in the

group

wonderful because biologists have to

leave

um now this is a this is a this is a

test about it has to do with content has

to do with Biology and I don't want you

to know anything about it because I want

you to be responding to the language the

writing of it so here's what I'm going

to ask you to do we're going to read two

imagined uh contenders for a grant or

publication and we're going to decide

which of these two we're going to

publish okay I'm going to read you stay

with me as I read 1A as a consequence of

the cost of sex the theoretical

probability of clonal and sexual

coexistence is low this is not sociology

this is biology

as a consequence of the cost of sex the

theoretical probability and clonal of

clonal and sexual coexistence is low

observation of coexistence and vertebrae

taxa has been reported within the Frozen

Niche variation model the relevant

parameters difference in overall Niche

breadth a wider Niche breath for the

sexuals and for the Clones is predicted

in performances in monocultures

performances and mixtures do not

indicate such a relationship

switching of behaviors or resource use

patterns between mixed and pure cultures

may be the cause the post study will

examine the predictions of the FNB model

okay as again I hope you didn't

understand any of that 1B as a

consequence of the cost of sex a

theoretical probability of clonal and

sexual coexistence is low nonetheless

observation of coexistence invertebrate

tax that has been widely reported within

the accepted model of Frozen Niche

variation coexistence is explained by

difference in overall Niche breath

however although the fnv model correctly

predicts wider Niche breadth for the

sexuals and for the Clones its

predictions are inconsistent with

reported performances and mixtures the

post study will examine whether the

anomaly may be explained by the

switching of behaviors or research use

patterns between mixed and peer cultures

which of these were going to be more

likely to fund

second one of course one

now tell me why

okay

I'm gonna I'm gonna be really big on

particular words right

important

right first thing you said

now

imagine if you're the writer of 1A

and we said to her your work doesn't

seem important

what's her likely response

he didn't understand

and we said all right

fix it

make it better what is this is crucial

what is that writer likely to do

if we said we didn't it's not important

and the writer thinks you didn't

understand it they're about to make a

gigantic mistake because they would do

what

what do you do when somebody says to you

I don't understand

you explain

do not do that

you think I'm kidding

why do I not want you to explain and by

the way why did your teachers want you

to explain

why did your teachers want you to

explain stuff

because they wanted to know whether you

understood it

you guys don't know how to explain stuff

you explain stuff under the model of

demonstrating to somebody that you

understand it that's how you've learned

to explain you don't even know you know

that you've done this you have learned

that what explaining is it's revealing

to the world the inside of your head

no one cares about the inside of your

head

at least not unless you pay us

if you pay us to Care we will care

right

but in the real world you're going to

stop paying your readers to care about

the inside of your head here's a shock

you think writing

is conveying your ideas

it's not

let me say that again

you think that writing is communicating

your ideas to your readers it is not

what is professional writing

professional writing what is it

it's not conveying your ideas to your

readers

it's changing their ideas

nobody cares what ideas you have

this is way more radical than it sounds

I used to make the mistake of saying to

students who came in I teach argument a

lot and I say to students who make an

argument why do you think that

and then I realized this is a horrible

question it's a teacherly question a

teacher says why do you think that

because the teacher wants to know what

what's in his head

I said oh my God I'm doing the same

thing so I know I don't say to him why

do you think that I say now why should I

think that

because I think

and guess what

that doesn't work

right which is interesting why it

doesn't work in Academia why doesn't it

work in Academia why doesn't that work

a professional this is a great question

right why is it that I don't say okay

you think you're not thinking why does

that not work and I mean at least it's

not supposed to work and sometimes it

works why is it not supposed to work in

an academic Realm

well that's probably why it does work

but that's not why it's supposed to work

supposed to critically examine because

there's a rule of Western Academia

it's rule that's of course Broken in the

breach a million times but the rule says

nothing will be accepted as knowledge or

understanding

until it has been challenged by someone

competent to challenge it

that's the rule

this is very important

because it changes your readers

look

teachers read because they're paid to

care about writers

some readers in the world in many cases

read to find out information they need

if you go to somebody on the quad and

say excuse me or somebody's option in

the quad and says excuse me can you tell

me how to get to the library

and you say okay yeah go over there and

turn right and go up there

they don't say well I doubt that

because they're not they don't as

readers have the function of challenging

what you say

but at least in theory and in a lot of

practice your readers are different from

those readers on the quad and they're

way different from teachers

your readers have the professional

function of challenging what you say

so explaining turns out only to happen

inside of these two functions

you only explain inside a value having

been generated and persuasion having

begun

it is an enormous mistake of PhD level

riders that they try to explain first

and I know why you try to explain first

because in school they just wanted you

to explain first because the whole thing

was just about seeing what you know

start explaining line one classic thing

begin with the definition teachers love

this begin with the definition because

it tells the teachers that you what

you know the definition don't begin with

definition guys

all right

so back to B

how are you going to make it important

how do you make it important

now the second word you said

oh no that's a terrible word

do me a favor do me a favor take the

word new or Worse original

if you think that you're here to do new

and original work

if you would find the synapse in your

brain that is storing those words

kill it

oh and people say to me oh does that

mean I'm here to do non-original work no

but you are not here to do original work

you're here to do valuable work

what's the difference

you think you're here to create new

knowledge

well

you know how hard it is to create new

knowledge we can create new knowledge in

the next 30 seconds all we have to do is

count up the number of people who are in

this room

because nobody in the world knows how

many people are in this room

no one knows and we will create new

knowledge right now we'll just count the

people in this room we'll say okay now

we know

is anybody going to read that paper

why not

they're going to say who cares how many

people are in that room

dear friend of mine when I was a PhD

student here

discovered

journals written by a woman in the last

part of the 19th century

in England she traveled around the world

and every year she wrote a journal and

somehow they ended up in a library in

Norwich and she was over in Norwich one

day and she stumbled into a back room

and there's all these journals with tons

of dust on him she blew out the dust and

she said oh my gosh it's amazing this

woman traveled the world for 30 years

and wrote a journal every time she

traveled

he came back here wrote up a grant and

said whoa I want to spend three months

studying this and then she got her money

and she went over to the Norwich and she

spent three months and she read the

whole thing and she wrote it all up and

she handed it to her Committee in an

hour and a half they sent it back and

they said you've got to be kidding

she said well I'm going to get my

dissertation I'm going to get green now

right they said you've got to be kidding

of course we're not going to give you

your PhD

and she said but but but but but nobody

in the world knew what this woman said

right they said and we still wish we

didn't know what she said

because we do not care

and she said

but it's original research

she said I guarantee you it's new

and they said that's right

it's new and it's original

but it is not knowledge

and she said that's ridiculous it has to

be knowledge

no it's not ridiculous

she was living in a positivistic world

where knowledge looks like this

in a positivistic world

knowledge is just built up over time and

anytime you find out something that

people didn't know you get to just add

up to this model and knowledge just

keeps on growing and everybody's happy

and that is dead dead

well mostly

here's the model now

sorry these are people

these are human beings

there are conversations moving through

time

and there's a bunch of people

and they get to say what knowledge is

and that horrifies you

why would those people get to say why do

they get to say

especially because historically of

course they've looked just like me

foreign

as my niece says to me every time she

sees me two male two pale too stale

why on Earth would these people get to

say what knowledge is

I get it

I get it big problem

but they do

and that's a fact

these people get the same

what counts as knowledge the good news

is they are changing

way too long way too late

way too slow but they're changing but

the point is that's the way it works you

may not like it but that's the way it

works they get to say

so they get to say yep you're right that

was new I didn't know how many people

were in 302.

but it doesn't count as knowledge

it doesn't have any value to us

doesn't count

the good news is this thing just moved

does move through time the other good

news is this boundary is permeable

stuff comes in

and unlike this model stuff goes out

I like to think of academic

conversations as sort of excreting as

they go

stuff gets left behind it's not like

this where everything gets added up is

always there forever

that's not the way it works

they go along for a while they think of

things for a while and they say whoop

that was dumb

don't think that anymore

they go along for a while and they say

whoa we were doing that don't do that

anymore it's not this build up model

this buildup model assumed that

everything was right we don't think that

we think a lot of what we think right

now is wrong we just don't know what the

wrong is and we don't know what better

is we want to know we do

we want to get better at it

but in order for us to do that you have

to be dealing with the stuff we say is

knowledge

that might not feel good

but that's how it works

so important isn't going to do it

new isn't going to do it original isn't

going to do it because I talk to people

and they say you know people don't think

this is bad they're not publishing it

well somebody says they don't think it's

important so you know what they do they

say this important study

I don't know

what is it about bee that makes it feel

important

what is it tell me the words on the page

here's what I literally want you to do I

want you to literally everybody in the

room I want you to literally go through

one b and circle the words the specific

words that are making it valuable to the

audience to the readers

what's the first herb you see a word

that verb what's the first word you see

that makes it valuable

nonetheless next

except it is but actually widely

accepted

next

however next

although although

next

inconsistent

next

reported

next

anomaly here's my first piece of advice

to you that you can use to make your

writing better starting this afternoon

I spent 15 minutes a week

for the rest of this year

taking articles in your field

print them out so you have a hard copy

go through and circle every word in the

writing that is creating value to the

readers

if you see an article that you think

doesn't have any of those words

send it to me I'll give you my email

send me your email and say Larry I found

an article that doesn't do it here's

what I bet you will see none I will see

10.

now tens and five

I guarantee five likely 10.

what's going on

how come you don't see him and I see

five or ten

you miss them here

I see him I know the code

every Community has its own codes the

communities you're entering have their

own codes

set of words that communicates value

you must know the codes of the

communities you're working in and they

are particular to communities some codes

are shared among a bunch of communities

some aren't you've got to know

you've got to know

you spend 15 minutes a week for the rest

of this year you'll be doing two things

one you'll be training yourself to look

for the code of creating value the other

thing you'll be doing if you're smart is

you'll be writing down each of those

words and you'll be creating an

invaluable word list

so that when it's a week before

something is done and you're doing one

of your revisions you're going to do

what you're going to do the same thing

on your own work and if you can't

underline 10 words in the first two

paragraphs you're going to do what

you're going to go to the word list and

you're going to jump them in

right sometimes sometimes it's that

simple

sometimes we take articles that wouldn't

get published in an hour we do things

and think about it sometimes weeks I'm

not suggesting this is always magic but

sometimes it's magic because sometimes

the problem are pretty simple

the problems

have to do with these people you have to

know them

as I say to undergraduates who look at

me and they say why does it take six

years or five years or even four years

to get a PhD aren't they just learning

more stuff no half their time is spent

learning more stuff the other half is

learning their readers

I will say this again if you do not know

your readers the particular people in a

community

if you do not know these people

you are very unlikely to create value

and you are very unlikely to be

persuasive

because persuasion depends on what they

doubt

you don't know what they doubt how on

Earth are you going to overcome those

doubts

you must know them

it's not enough to know your subject

matter you got to know your readers

okay so what is it about none there's

two things going on here then one of

them has to go on with the community of

readers

tell me the words you underline that has

to do with the community

of the word you underline and be

which words have to do with the

community

widely

accepted

reported those are words that cued that

there was a community of people who want

to understand this

you don't have those words

you're not signaling any community

what do the other words do

nonetheless

however although what do they do

and find the synapse in your head

that has that word

here's what's going on

he has been told or taught or learned

that in order to have persuasive clear

organized prose

you had to have what are sometimes

called flow words or are sometimes

called transition words words like

because and if and unless and however

and although

and and and but

right

are those words bad those words aren't

bad I'm as bad is it bad to have float

it's not bad to have flow

but they have nothing to do with value

why what's the difference between and

and but in creating value

imagine if you go to your readers and

say hey readers hey community

hey community

I've read your stuff I've thought about

what you think

and I have something to say

hey readers I've read your stuff

I know what you think

but

you're wrong

which one are they going to pay

attention to

here's not here's what I will say and if

somebody wants to do it right now check

it

he can name a journal we will go to the

every edition of that journal in the

last 20 years and every paper will say

that somebody's wrong

everyone

now he just said

what's the difference

he says and he's been and I understand

it I can't go to these editors and say

they're wrong

and I am telling you that every article

published in that journal in the last 20

years has opened by saying readers are

wrong

first looking at me like I don't believe

it

look

what's the difference

yeah one way to put it is

you have to know the code

you have to know the code

if you say to the people who are the

dominant figures in your field you know

what

I've read all your stuff and you're

idiots

not going to go around well

right

don't say that

what did you say to them

the dominant figures in their field

I say

what do you say to them

yeah but if you want to learn the code

what do you suppose the code is

yeah but the code is wow are you smart

wow

me whoa I'm just amazed you are so smart

and you've contributed and you've

Advanced this

you've Advanced this community Through

in fabulous ways

there's this little

thing

thank you for appreciating it what do

you think what do you think we have Rob

and then you better have an argument

not an explanation

do not explain argue you're talking to

people who like wrote this stuff you

don't have to explain it to them you

have to predict what they're going to

doubt when you say they're wrong

so you say to them you're wrong about

this and they say

why should I agree that I'm wrong and

you say well here's why

that's what introductions do

they give a quick version of why these

people should think that they're wrong

and they say well okay

preliminarily I've read your first two

pages now I'll start reading the rest of

it

why because you've caused them to think

that your work might be valuable for

them

imagine if you go to them and say wow

your work has been really great and now

here's something new that you didn't

know

see here's what happens people say to me

man if I say that they've done something

wrong I'm taking a huge risk true

you think you're not taking a risk if

you do this

what's the risk you run if you do this

hey really smart people I've done all

your work I've studied all your stuff

and I have something I want to add

no no that's actually a really good

reaction right what's the risk you run

there

when you say there's something I want to

add

we don't care

or worse

I'd like to put my voice into the

conversation

say we don't have any reason to listen

to it

let's pause on that one for a minute

the University of Chicago writing

program is not real popular in the world

of writing programs

and you can see why

a lot of people think we're fascists

I don't this be

here's what we teach people to do

we say identify that people with power

in your community and give them what

they want

foreign that's what we teach people to

do

lots of people have said to us in some

version or another you're supposed to

teach people to

challenge

the existing Community well actually I

just did right

but notice that I did it inside the

terms of the community

people say why don't you teach people to

have their own individual voice

and I'm gonna say

I get that argument I get the moral and

ethical pressure to teach people to have

their individual voices

but when I sit with somebody up in my

office who's worried about their career

not going anywhere

it can't be about their individual voice

it's about what's going to make it

valuable to their readers

you need to understand that this program

that we have is motivated by those

people who have come to us and said our

writing is not succeeding and the whole

program is aimed at them

how do you make them help them succeed

there's a ton of ethical issues involved

in that

they're not going you don't really care

I just want to put them out there

there's also the personal at risk issue

you want me to go to this really

important person is the editors of this

journal and tell them they're wrong yeah

I do

I need you to do it under the code you

want to do it under the code there's

polite ways to do it there's insulting

ways to do it you need to learn how they

do it in that community

if you don't do it in the way they code

it

you're going to get slapped down

what if you don't do it at all

you're going to get rejected

right so all right

sorry for the Drama Oh My Gosh

especially because we're on page one of

the 30 page handout all right page two

page three sorry it's technically we

were on page two because there was no

page one

let me just show you a couple of things

quickly from this two paragraphs the top

paragraph why people write essays

this is a caricature I admit this is a

character it's come from something

trying to explain to high school

students why people write essays and I

just want to show you how wrong this is

how dangerous this is and how much some

of it has actually

you've adopted without knowing you've

adopted it by definition an essay is a

structured creative written composition

dealing with a specific subject from a

more or less personal point of view

that's wrong you notice it says nothing

about readers and it says nothing about

value by definition

anything you write

as the function

of helping your readers understand

better something they want to understand

well

that's what it is

because that's what it does

I'm thickenstinian on this point what

something means is what it does here's

what your writing does

it helps a particular set of readers

understand better something they want to

understand well

that's what its job is

all this other stuff being structured

being creative being written dealing

with subjects is how you fulfill the

function

and sometimes you do it this way and

sometimes you don't

but what you what is immediately lost is

that sense of function

people write essays because it gives

them an opportunity to analyze ideas

situations and people and to preserve

them indefinitely can you see how

mystery this is all about the writer

it's why people write essays so that

they can think

okay I got no problem with somebody

writing an essay because they want to

think

what I have a problem with is I come to

my office and say my readers don't

appreciate me

well why did you write it I wrote it so

I could think

they don't owe you their appreciation

they're not going to appreciate it

just because you wrote it

and this is

very different and in many you could

make the case you make a very important

case

homie Baba and I used to argue about it

when he would not argue I just told me

you're right

there's really moral problems with this

right I want to be clear about that

preserve them indefinitely very very

dangerous idea

can you see how that's this model

this notion that your writing preserves

your ideas indefinitely

no it does not

a student of mine who's now the chair of

a philosophy Department had a lot of

trouble getting his first book out

he wrote this book and he was working on

it kept working on it working on it and

he sent it to me he was actually a

student of mine in his first year here

and he used to write me two page papers

and I would give him six pages of

comments so he now he sends me a 400

page book and he says oh this is cooler

I'm going to get 800 pages of comments

I send him two words

I said you're done

and he came back at me and said no I'm

not done I could make it better

I said you're done he said but Larry

this is ridiculous look at I look at

myself and I say I can make it better I

said Jonathan you're done

he said but but somebody's going to read

this in 500 years and I don't want to

find mistakes

now that nobody's going to read it in my

heart

the function of your writing is to move

this conversation forward

it cannot do that if it's in your desk

drawer

your function is to move a conversation

forward it's not to preserve

indefinitely because guess what you

could be some of the stuff count on it

you're going to be some of this stuff at

some point that gets left behind

this is not a bad thing

if you think it's going to be preserved

indefinitely you're just wrong it's

really not

and he looked at me and he says but

Aristotle I said come on Jonathan

not only does it ensure permanence of

ideas for the permanence of ideas no it

doesn't

it also ensures a degree of permanence

for the writer no it doesn't if you have

that in your head of course you cannot

write

that's a standard none of us can meet

except like Aristotle

right don't don't let yourself go there

it is a way for the writer to understand

more clearly ideas and Concepts

horizontal axis horizontal axis

horizontal axis

it's a way for the writer to participate

in the world by sharing his feelings

okay

is it a way for you is your writing a

way for you to participate in the world

yes

but not by sharing your feelings or your

thoughts but by changing other people's

thoughts

that's how you participate

it's a way for the writer to sharpen

thinking and organizational skills

can you see how skewed this is

towards students

there's a way for the writer to enjoy

the personal thrill and satisfaction

of communicating his own personal ideas

and feelings I will say it again your

writing is not communicating anything

about you that's not its job

its job is to change the way your

readers think

now people look at me and say well that

must mean you're lying no it's not like

there's only two options in the world

right communicating your inner thoughts

or lying

it's not you don't understand the

function sometimes sometimes the

function of something I say is to

communicate my inner beliefs if I'm on

trial and some it says I literally had

an FBI agent in my office this morning

that's kind of freaky but it's actually

the truth sometimes I sort of have this

okay I need to know about the inner part

of you

sometimes I'm sitting with a friend

who's just gotten some really bad Health

news

and my language is not about me

it's about her

the idea that language has only one

function seems to me impoverished beyond

measure

you have to think I urge you to think of

language as having many different

functions the function of an academic

piece is not to communicate your ideas

it's to change the ideas of an existing

community

now sometimes you do that by

communicating your ideas sometimes you

don't

but understand what it's for

and understand that your training has

been all about revealing your head

you've been trained it's in your blood

but that's how you're supposed to do

when you run and that's just not the

case

so

go to the bottom one welcome to the

world the new world

we may thus expect the thorough

exteriorization of knowledge with

respect to the knower at whatever point

he or she may occupy in the knowledge

process the old principle

that the acquisition of knowledge is

indissociable from the training of minds

or even of individuals becoming obsolete

and will that become ever more so the

relationship here's what he's talking

about when I was in school and somebody

said oh she's amazing this professor

she's Professor so-and-so she's amazing

well we talked about we talked about how

much she had in her head

we said she knows more about this

she's forgotten more

than I will ever learn

and what leotard is saying here is that

knowledge no longer has anything to do

with the inside of individual heads

now if you talk about somebody being a

great Professor what are you talking

about

you're talking about what they have he

or she has done in this exterior space

between heads

now it's not how smart they are how much

they know it's what they've done in the

space between heads

what they've exteriorized what they've

done out there that's your job

it's not to reveal the interior of your

head it's to change what's going on in

the spaces between heads

or however much you want to talk about

the construction of knowledge

this is very unpleasant to lots of

people

the relationship

between the suppliers and users of

knowledge to the knowledge they Supply

and use that is your relationship to

your own knowledge

is now tending and will increasingly

tend to assume the form already taken by

the relationship of commodity producers

and consumers to the Commodities they

produce and consume that is the form of

value

your relationship to your own knowledge

is the same as a relationship of a

farmer to the wheat or minor to the coal

the relationship is the form of value

and I bet for many of you that doesn't

feel very good

people don't like that

I get that they don't like it but I can

tell you

that's the way it is

all right now let's get out of the

stratosphere and get down to some nuts

and bolts

the next few pages just summarize what

I've been talking about

go to page eight

foreign

go back to the difference between

because if and unless and and

talk about words like but

although however inconsistent

and anomaly

these words are all serving the same

function in this text

these are transition words as he rightly

said or flow words these are not

anomaly is a noun inconsistent is an

adjective

but can you see what all these have in

common

anomaly inconsistent but however

although

these are flow words but these are not

so what does this list have in common

however but although inconsistent

anomaly

they create tension

it's a good word for it

tension

give me some other words challenge

good

contradiction

the slangs

we use the word for all of this

instability we use two words first of

all we use instability there's not magic

I don't have I have no trouble at all if

you want to use the words like tension

uh can't read my own handwriting

challenge contradiction

red flag we find the word instability to

be helpful

because here's what we think

is one General way to talk about it it's

not magic which is helpful

and that is

a lot of people come out of school

with a model for writing at the

beginning of a text that's basically in

the mode of explanation that is

they think that what you should do is

give background or something like

definitions or and then move to

something like a thesis

notice this is all very much on the

positivistic model that is learn

knowledge starts by a solid foundation

you have a solid foundation of previous

knowledge you have a solid foundation of

a definition you have a solid foundation

of here's the worst one of all

generalizations

right so many people have been taught

this model they don't even know they're

using it you open with the

generalization you move to a specific

thesis then you talk about the thesis

then you move out to a generalization at

the end we call it the martini glass

model of writing wow you don't want to

do this

you really don't want to do this

all right instead

you open with when I show you on page

eight is a problem

whose problem

s

Ghana a specific set of readers

not which is what you're doing right now

very likely

your problem

I see all kinds of texts that have the

language of dear reader I have this

problem that really interests me

sometimes you have this sense of ever

since I was young I've been fascinated

by fill in the blank

and now I've spent I want you to fund me

for a year of solving my problem of not

knowing enough about blank

right

wrong problem

wrong location of the problem

problem needs to be located not in

necessarily in the readers but in

something the readers care about

for academics it's something the readers

want to understand if they're not

academics is something to read a problem

that the readers want to fix

so for example I know nobody's probably

here in education but if you want to get

funding in a grant for studying

something on education you start with a

problem in the world we got an education

system that's clearly broken

that's a problem that's the problem your

readers care about probably not the

reader's problem they actually probably

have pretty good educations they

probably are sending their kids to

pretty good schools but they care about

that problem all right you locate

problems in specific reading communities

this is very different from General

background or definition

then you move to a solution

and of course notice your thesis can be

in a solution only if the readers

perceive the problem

sometimes I'll say to people this thesis

is it a solution to a problem they say

yeah of course it is okay so where did

you say what the problem is it's not

there

it's not there

it's got to be there I've got to be

there nine times out of ten ninety nine

times out of 100 it's got to be there so

the readers can say it's a solution to

that problem

now in very general terms and I'm just

going to sketch this out quickly we find

that problems have two chief

characteristics one is the situation has

to be unstable

that is you have to generate a sense of

instability

words like but however inconsistent

although anomalies show the situation to

be inconsistent unstable

can you see the crucial difference in

why so many writers are so bad at this

look at this language

look at this model

this model is a model of stability and

continuity

this model is a model that says this

thesis

validity its validity is established by

it being continuous with something that

we already know to be valid

so the language that people use is a

language of continuity and consistency

the horrible irony is your readers are

actually searching for language of

instability inconsistency and tension

so the crucial point I want to make is

we're back to this interference pattern

people say well look I just want to talk

at this point about inconsistence about

consistency I want to show the I want to

show the continuity between what I'm

saying and what comes before that's what

I want to do at this part of my text

what happens if the readers are looking

for that moment of your text for a

problem

what if they're looking to decide

whether it's valuable by whether or not

they have a problem it's not neutral

they're looking for something that shows

them inconsistency you are giving them

language of continuity you are

interfering with their writing reading

process they are slowing down they are

getting confused they're getting

aggravated and they can stop two

paragraphs into your text

two paragraphs they're done

because what they're looking for is

value and you're using language that's

not neutral

it is contradicting and interfering with

their sense of identifying value

okay

there's a second point

which a lot of academics really dislike

some don't mind it at all

which we call the language of costs and

benefits

and we differentiate that for a reason

what we mean is

not always but very often you need to

code use code language to your readers

to show them that the instability

imposes a cost on them

not on you

on them

or conversely

that the instability if it's solved

offers a benefit to them

the language is different

there's a language of cost and a

language of benefit there's a version of

saying dear readers they're important

readers you were brilliant you've

Advanced this enormously we're so

grateful but there's this little

inconsistency in your work

now they want to know well

does that inconsistency cost us anything

because guess what you know what about

my work it's got tons of inconsistency

in it much of it doesn't make any

difference is the inconsistency you're

pointing out costing us anything

or you can say to them hey does

inconsistency in your work if you

improve it you get this benefit from it

those are different coded languages I

urge you to pay attention to the actual

journals that you're imagining

publishing in and see whether or not

there's a pattern of language of benefit

and language of cost there may not be a

pattern you may see both but if there's

a pattern you know what my advice is

going to be

use it

follow it

rhetoric the the published articles will

show you the language that works

right there in front of you if you just

look at it

so skip past page nine page 10 this is

just some

um

some explanations of some bad habits

oh yes please

oh the literature review yeah okay sure

if I don't put it then I should have it

right

okay no I'm happy to talk to him

talking about the lit review

um

let's start by doing this

let's specifically talk about a sorry

literature review I just did a terrible

thing to whoever

poor people who are actually going to

watch this

all right let's talk about that first of

all

writing a lit review as a PhD student is

one of the hardest things there is to do

it's incredibly hard

because you don't know who your readers

are

let's talk about a straight teacher

reading a lit review

what is the function of a lit review

for the teacher

who is not reading it to change her view

about the world but is reading it to

judge you

what's the function of a lit review for

that reader

to show that you understood it

right that's perfectly clear is that its

function in a professional text

is that his function in a professional

text

you think they're reading is to find out

whether you know the stuff about

anything

what's his function in a professional

text it has several what's one

what's the function of a lit review and

professional text

ego massaging that's a real function I

got no problem with that people are

going to say no no it's a real function

ego massaging is a function

credibility is a function forgiving

credibility is a function

yeah but I hate the language of moving

forward right or what you're challenging

there you go you know how to no you see

the difference you see the difference

here's what professional good lit

reviews and I didn't include one in this

handout but you sent me an email I'll

send you some really good professional

lit reviews

we'll use the lit review to enrich the

problem

instead of saying here's what a student

let review says

in 1998 he said this in 2000 he said

this in 2002 he said this in 2005 he's

sorry for the he's but I'm looking at a

bunch of he's here right

a professional that review says what

in 2001 he said this

but

in 2004 he said something which if we're

smart we realize

puts in tension

and then in 2005 he said this

which complicates the situation here but

even more complicated if we put that in

motion with what he said back in 2001.

now we have layers of complexity

complication and tension

now can we say I'm moving forward yeah

but you notice I'm not moving forward

from stability

I've now enhanced their sense of

instability

and if you're really good you're hype

with the costs

you start saying wow not only is there a

little tension there but it's a tension

that matters is this community as we go

forward because it suggests that not

only were they wrong but we're wrong as

we move forward based on their ideas

so it's not just them and the rest of us

are we moving forward yes but from

instability not from stability

that's a big difference

so for example

let's take a couple of examples of this

because perfectly

we can use these examples to talk

furthermore about more about lit reviews

page 12.

um here's an instance from Bill Sewell

who was just a terrific writer

ever since Herodotus

historians have written about events

battles alliances scandals conquests

conspiracies revolts Royal successions

reforms elections religious revivals

assassinations discoveries momentous

events have always been the bread and

butter of narrative history now if you

talk to some high school teachers and

they'll say you'll say to them what is

he doing there

they will say to you

oh he's giving background

no he's really not

when do we find out that he's not giving

background

the next word is but

he's not giving background he's building

a problem

and the differences are enormous

so many faculty members will say to

students you know what this paper really

isn't working very well this

introduction doesn't work and the

student says what do I need to do and

they'll say something like well you need

to give me more background here

oh my God

when you say background of people they

usually say okay I guess I guess give

more history of the subject or something

they don't mean that

they mean I can't figure out why this

matters

the background they need is a problem

but despite the prominence of events in

historical narratives the event has

rarely been scrutinized as a theoretical

category

now

is that a problem

is it coded as a problem it's an it's

undoubtedly a instability but

is it a problem I'm going to cut to

something that's I want to just be able

to put on the table for you

later on in this handout you're going to

see a couple of pages on the difference

between what we call Gap and what we

call error

a lot of especially young academics very

worried about telling their these

important people that they're wrong

instead they use the language of Gap

that is they say we've studied this

stuff for a long time but we haven't

looked at this there's a gap in our

knowledge

and the truth is that that sometimes

works but way more often than not it

does not work

why not

a gap in knowledge we have a gap in our

knowledge why wouldn't that work

pardon me it should be a small Gap

that's true well why would it work

you're probably not the first one well

but but perhaps you're the first one

who's been able to fill it

still isn't gonna work often doesn't

work

here's what Gap assumes another model of

knowledge that is now dead

this is supposed to look like a

crossword puzzle

can you imagine that this is a crossword

puzzle

here's what the Gap model assumes it

assumes that knowledge is bounded

assumes that knowledge is like a

crossword puzzle with a fixed number of

pieces

and you say oh look

I filled in this piece

this only makes sense in a bounded model

of knowledge

go back to this model

what if we think this is wrong and that

knowledge

is infinite

it's just going to keep on being

infinite

now what happens the gap

think of it this way if knowledge is

infinite and you filled in a gap how

many gaps are left

you have done nothing

because there's still an infinite number

of gaps left

I'm not saying Gap can never work I'm

saying Gap is very dangerous

is Bill talking about a gap here

when he says it's rarely see the word

rarely

that's usually that's often code for Gap

oops Gap haven't done something Gap

is this a gap

no it's rarely been scrutinized as a

theoretical category

why is that a problem

and for whom is it a problem

for whom is it a problem if you say

ever since Herodotus historians have

talked about events

but nobody's ever asked what they mean

by that

oh that's a gap

not for some communities for some

communities it's one

it's a gigantic problem if the community

is using categories that they do not

understand

right

in some communities they went whoa

this is a problem because we're taking

for granted that we understand some

fundamental Community category for our

field and we don't even know what the

hell we're talking about

dangerous

so what is he doing in the next sentence

is traditional narrative historians who

reveled in the contingency in particular

area of events generally refused on

principle to engage in explicit

theorizing

background no what

what

community

what community talking about here

narrative historians

you people have a problem narrative

historians

next sentence meanwhile historical

sociologists along with the minority of

historians turned in the social sciences

in order to escape the hegemony of

political narrative generally disdain

the study of mere events and Sutton said

to discover General causal patterns

underlying historical change what's he

doing there

another community

he's defining his communities here are

the two communities who have problems

traditional narrative historians and

basically every other historian

two sentences

he's described his community the people

who have a problem

you want to know a very extended version

of this read the introduction of saeed's

orientalism where he constructs I think

nine communities

people say to me oh my God I have this

huge problem I'm writing

interdisciplinary stuff

interdisciplinary stuff is extremely

extremely difficult to write people come

to this campus Because we Proclaim that

you can do interdisciplinary studies

here we scorn traditional disciplinary

boundaries

you know here's the problem you're going

to have when you do interdisciplinary

work who's in your community of readers

go ahead put that committee together

that has somebody three people on it and

they're from three different committees

be very careful

you got the right three people amazing

you have the wrong three people you're

gonna have a writing nightmare

because those are three different

communities who are not only going to

Define problems differently they're

going to see arguments differently

so what bill is doing here is he's

saying there's two communities of people

I'm writing to he lays them out in the

first paragraph of a text

this is first-rate functional writing

you've got to understand the function

not what it looks like not the rules not

the formal but the function

I will shut up in one minute

so page 13 summarizes the model from

this point

let me just tell you what's left in the

handout

page 16

one of the best pieces of problem

construction I've ever seen a couple of

economists writing a very long

introduction that that establishes layer

upon layer upon layer of problem

on page 17 they do something which I

have virtually never seen done before

see this chart see this graph at the

bottom of page 17.

you don't usually see charts and

introductions because they usually what

do you thinking charts are for either to

explain or to give evidence for

something you know what this chart is

it's wrong

how cool is that

it's a problem

right using a chart as a problem

constructing technique wow and by the

way watch their codes you'll see how

they do this in a very deferential

everybody's really smart but gosh

you know really really nice piece of

writing

um stage 20 talks about something that

I've already mentioned the danger of Gap

page 22 goes to Gap and error

I look at bill again Bill's work on page

23

I said one more minute but I'm going to

take two more the last thing I'll look

at is this I think quite useful article

on page 24 from John Totino whom I've

never met

um

but I think this is such a great example

of cycling all the way back to where we

started

the revolution in Mexican Independence

first paragraph the Hidalgo Revolt of

1810 marked the commencement of

conflicts that brought Independence to

Mexico in 1920 and led to a series of

revolutionary changes that endured for

decades into the national era as

colonial rule ended the contested

processes what is that you look to

anybody they're going to say oh that's

background he's giving a little

historical background right no look at

the beginning of the next paragraph

the interpretation just given challenges

and entrenched vision of Mexican history

you know he says this is really really

open John tatino was strong enough

professionally that he could say hey all

you people you're all wrong right

now

he talks about the view that's wrong in

the second paragraph look at the

beginning and third paragraph This essay

argues for a different interpretation

okay so what he's done is he's first

said here's a view of history and then

it said this challenge is what all you

people think

now he says in this essay here's what

I'm going to do

here's what I want you to notice

the footnote

this essay was first presented in a

seminar organized by Eric Van young at

the University of California San Diego

look at the next page page 25 here's

what I'm quite sure John setino

presented in that seminar at the

University of California San Diego he

presented this data which he had spent

quite a lot of time in Mexico generated

tenant Rancheros at Puerto di Nieto

1820-1825 rents in pesos table 2 maze

plot rentals at Puerto di Nieto

1820-1825

you know because in 1820 it was 60 and

in 1821 it was 33 in 1822 was 30. this

I'm quite sure is what he presented at

the

Workshop

what do you suppose people thought to

themselves at the workshop

why would I care

what happened in the rents of maize

plots at Puerto di Nieto from 1820 to

1825.

go back to the footnote

discussion there helped to clarify the

importance

and the uncertainties of the issues

explored here

more recently several hahr that's the

journal readers ask that I make the

larger significance of the case study

more explicit

I don't even think who the hell cares

what happened in Puerto venietal John I

mean I went there you went down there

you got a grant you looked through a lot

of books and you came up with a lot of

numbers but why would we care

a final reader you see why I love this

so much he's probably been working on

this essay for article for what three

years maybe

a final reader suggested that my

interpretations appear controversy

like hey John

you see this work you've been doing it

suggests that everything the people in

this community think

about the Hidalgo revolt

is wrong

he didn't even know that

until the end of his process

in his thinking process

it was probably three years into a final

reader

told him what problem he was actually

engaging

where does that come in his article

it's the first sentence

the difference between this process and

this process

to the extent that you are embedded in

making your writing handed to the reader

on this process you are very likely to

interfere with their reading process the

more you can you've got to do this guys

you've got to do this process to do your

thinking but the more that you can learn

how to alter it for these people

the more successful you're likely to be

and the less painful this whole reading

this painful writing process is going to

be for you

okay I apologize for two things one for

being longer than I intended and two for

being ridiculously theatrical about this

um my only excuse for that is I'm not

kidding when I say I have people in my

office using the Kleenex

this stuff is can be brutally hard and

just plain brutal

I am dramatic here in the hope that you

will not end up in my office but let me

say you are welcome I'm the director of

the writing program on campus I welcome

anyone who wants to come and talk to me

about writing

if you send me an email and say can we

make an appointment the answer will be

yes it may be a while I should warn you

Larry mcinerney my email is lmce at

uchicago

sometimes I'm not in Residence sometimes

I am but it may be a couple of weeks

before we can meet so just warn you

sometimes people if you say Larry can we

meet and I've just got to turn this

paper in at the end of the week the

answer is usually I can't do it then

I'll try but if you give me time then

we'll do it and I will welcome it

because no one on campus more than I

appreciates just how hard is the stuff

that you're doing

okay let's stop and we're done if

anybody wants to hang around you're

welcome to do so

don't do that I just get more dramatic

when people