Marcello Hernández Sold Tickets Next to Drug Dealers and Makes His Tonight Show Stand-Up Debut

-Marcello, you look unbelievable.

Thank you for dressing up for the show.

-I had to dress like this.

And I brought you a bottle of champagne that I made for you.

It says "Marcello & Jimmy 'Tonight Show' Numero Uno."

-Oh, this is...

[ Cheers and applause ] -And very quick, I want to do a shout out.

Can I do a quick shout out? -Of course you can.

-I want to do a shout out, obviously to my mami and to my papi, and to my stepdad José, and to my little sister Isabella, and to my Tío Pepito, my uncle.

I love you so much to Pepito.

That’s it. -That’s it. Good.

[ Cheers and applause ] -Welcome to the show. -Yes.

-Welcome to the show, and thank you for being here.

By the way, I did meet your beautiful mother before the show. -Oh, my mami, yes.

-She’s here tonight, she’s in -- probably in the audience somewhere.

Is she? Hi, Mom!

[ Cheers and applause ] Cheers Mom. -Salud Mami.

Cheers Mom. -Salud Mami.

-Your boy has done pretty well.

[ Applause ] Yum. -That’s good.

Yum. -That’s good.

-Thank you, bud. -Of course.

-Was mom always supportive?

Did she know that -- Did you know that he was gonna be a big star one day?

-Yeah. Right. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's very cool about it. -She’s very chill.

-Were you a good kid growing up?

Was he a good kid? -Oh.

I would say I could describe myself as a pain in the ass.

-You were? -Yeah.

-Were you smart?

-Um...yeah.

-Wow. -I just -- I wasn’t, like, a great student, per se.

I think the only thing I can remember is I went to summer school for math and for science, and I was supposed to bring the "C" up to a "B."

And I got a "D" in summer school, so I think I’m, like, the only kid ever that went to summer school and then came back and was like, "Can I keep my original grade, please?"

-"Can I keep the grade that got me here?"

Yeah. Uh, you’re fantastic on "Saturday Night Live."

It is your second season. -Yes.

-Now, you auditioned to be on the show.

Did you feel like it went well?

-Um, the audition was -- First of all, I want to say real quick.

It’s my second season, I’m very grateful to a lot of the writers that have helped me.

The Please Don’t Destroy boys, Jake Nordwind, Mike Dicenzo, Colin Jost, and Ego who have all taken me under their wing and really helped me.

Um, but the audition is scary because I’m a stand up, I did stand up in my audition, and I did stand up 12 times a week, maybe more.

And then you get to the audition, you do your best stand up that you’ve worked on so hard to zero laughs.

And then right after your mom calls you and goes, "So how did it go?" -[ Laughter ] -You’re like, "I thought it went awful.

I don’t know what to say."

My mom was so nervous, my mom started smoking cigarettes while we were waiting to find out if I got it or not.

-She started? -She started smoking cigarettes She would call me and she’d be like, "So have they told you if you got it?"

And I’m like, "No, are you smoking a cigarette?"

And she’s like, "Yes, I started yesterday.

Now tell me."

Then I got it and then she quit cigarettes.

-There you go. Wow.

Thank you "SNL," for many reasons.

Uh, you’re doing great on the show.

You’re really, really funny.

You have Josh Brolin hosting this weekend, Ariana Grande, have you gotten the pitch meeting nailed down yet?

The pitch meeting is when you have the host, everyone gathers into Lorne's office, the writers, the cast, and you all pitch ideas to the host.

Yeah, I never nailed that.

-It’s my biggest weakness, I would say.

I’m so bad at it.

Um, sometimes I do good, and the whole room is like, "Oh, wow."

-Um... -[ Laughs ] Not bad. He’s actually -- yeah.

Not bad. He’s actually -- yeah.

-This week with Josh Brolin, I had a pitch and I got zero laughs and I kept talking and Lorne looked at me and goes, "Are you done?"

[ Laughter ] That’s how it’s going. -Yeah, that’s how it’s going for you. Good.

You'll get there or maybe you won’t, because I never got it.

Before you got on "Saturday Night Live," we were talking, you did stand up.

We were talking backstage how you used to go on the street and try to sell tickets to come to your shows.

-Dude, yeah, I did that for a long -- I did that for like three years.

I sold tickets on the street, and it’s a hard job because, uh, I sold tickets next to drug dealers, and, um, no matter what I’m selling, they have a better product.

I’d be like, "Comedy show, comedy show," and the guy next to me is like, "And I have cocaine, so what do you wanna do?

You want to go to the show or you want to be the show?

Which one?" -Yeah.

Before you got on "Saturday Night Live," we were actually trying to book you for our show.

-I know. -To do stand up, but it just happened too fast.

-I know, and I was so excited to do it.

It’s obviously a dream of mine to do stand up on this show.

And I got "SNL," which is a great consolation prize, Lorne, I’m very grateful.

But no, I’m just -- Yeah.

-We actually have a little time left.

Would you want to make your "Tonight Show" debut?

[ Cheers and applause ] Your stand-up debut. -For real?

-Right now. -Okay.

-Go backstage.

-I’ll introduce you. -Okay. All right.

-All right, get ready back there.

Uh, here we go.

Making his "Tonight Show" debut, please welcome the very funny Marcello Hernandez.

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Yes. Thank you so much.

-Yes. Thank you so much.

Thank you for this opportunity.

Um, my name is Marcello Hernandez.

Um, my parents are both immigrants, and they both speak English, but different levels of English.

Uh, I brought my dad to "SNL" recently, and all the writers were like, "It’s so nice to meet you.

It’s very nice to meet you."

And my dad’s response was, "Me too."

[ Laughter ] Um, my mom is much better at English.

She’s kind of a philosopher.

She has the most interesting questions.

Um, one day at dinner, she asked me.

She looks at me and she goes, "Marcello, what’s the difference between a butt dial and a booty call?"

[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] I was like, "Wow.

That is an amazing question.

Touché, my queen, I don’t know."

Um, but the funny thing to me about being Latino is that whenever I meet, like, really American people, they always have to tell me something, and that’s how many years of Spanish they took.

[ Laughter ] And they don’t even want to.

It’s like a tic that they have.

You know, they’re like, "You’re Hispanic?"

And I’m like, "Yeah," and then they go, "Oh, that’s nice. I took seven years of Spanish."

[ Laughter ] And I’m like, "Wow, thank you so much. Thank you."

And they’re like, "Oh, you don’t believe me?

Lunes.

Martes.

Sabado.

Suavemente.

[ Cheers and applause ] They do that.

And they only do that to us, okay?

That’s what’s funny to me. They only do it to Latinos.

They would never do it to anybody else.

A white person would never go up to a black guy and be like, "Hey, man, 'It was all a dream.'"

Like, they would never do that, but they do it to us, okay?

And we never do it to them.

That’s what’s funny to me. We never do it to them.

My dad doesn’t really speak English, but he would never go up to a white guy and be like, "Hey, my friend, look at me.

Look at me, Papi, are you ready?

Look at me. Ready?

Monday, huh? You like that?

Monday, huh? Tuesday. Do you like that?

Do you think I’m stupid?

Wed-nes-day. Do you like that?

I know what you like, Papi.

I know what you like. Sweet Caroline.

[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] -Marcello!

That’s how you do it.

That’s how you do it, buddy. -Thank you so much.

-Marcello Hernandez!

That is how you do it.

Standing ovation, there you go! -Thank you.

Check out "Saturday Night Live" this weekend with host Josh Brolin and musical guest Ariana Grande.

We’ll be right back with more Tonight Show.