NATO Countries Rebuff Trump’s Plea to Help with Strait of Hormuz Amid Iran Oil Crisis: A Closer Look

-Donald Trump is now demanding that other countries help him take control of the Strait of Hormuz because of the oil crisis sparked by his war in Iran.

For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."

[ Cheers and applause ] Trump has spent virtually his entire time in office attacking or alienating our closest allies.

Remember, it wasn't that long ago that he was threatening to go to war with Europe over Greenland.

-Greenland, basically, their defense is two dog sleds.

Do you know that? You know what their defense is?

Two dog sleds.

You know what Denmark did recently to boost up security in Greenland?

They added one more dog sled.

It's true.

They thought that was a great move.

-Who are you, Rodney Dangerfield?

Is this the Friars Club Roast of Greenland?

Also, it doesn't make you sound tough to slam Greenland, an island with a small military.

You're like a wrestler bragging about what you're about to do to an 85-year-old woman.

"Listen up, Nana Jean, when you step in that ring with me, you're gonna be in a world of pain 'cause you got old knees!"

[ Laughter ] But Trump reserved most of his venom for NATO, which he's repeatedly insulted and threatened to abandon.

-We don't really need NATO in its current form.

NATO is obsolete.

We've been ripped off at the NATO level.

We've been ripped off like no country has ever been ripped off.

I'm talking about NATO and how the United States is getting ripped off with an obsolete NATO.

The United States is treated very unfairly by NATO.

We're paying for 80% of NATO.

Now, I can only tell you one thing.

It helps them a hell of a lot more than it helps us.

NATO is ripping us off.

I'm right about NATO.

We have NATO and we're giving countries a free ride.

We are really -- NATO is obsolete.

It's old. It's fat. It's sloppy.

-If I were Trump's therapist, this is the part where I'd say, "Tell me more about NATO."

[ Laughter ] [ As Donald Trump ] "It's old, it's fat, it's sloppy.

It's marriage..." [ Laughter ] "Its father never loved it."

[ Laughter ] "It went bankrupt six times and tried to sell steaks in an electronics store."

[ Laughter ] "NATO has a [bleep]-up hand."

[ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] So, Trump repeatedly insulted America's closest allies, and especially NATO, which he said was obsolete.

And that's because Trump is actually a geopolitical mastermind.

He knew that we would never need NATO's help ever again, and he would certainly never find himself in a position where he had to publicly beg NATO to intervene in a conflict he started.

And yes, I'm doing that thing where I'm being super sarcastic before showing a clip package that proves the opposite.

-As the war with Iran stretches into its third week, President Trump now calling on world leaders to help keep the Strait of Hormuz open.

-Trump telling the Financial Times, -You call them obsolete, sloppy, and fat, and now you want their help?

It's like breaking up with someone then immediately asking them for help moving.

"I know I called you obsolete and sloppy, but I didn't say you were bad at carrying things.

Now, hop to it, fatso. I got a date tonight."

[ Laughter ] Okay, but let's hear the response from NATO.

I'm sure they put aside their hurt feelings and listened to the president's sensible request.

-So far, no countries, including US allies such as Germany and the United Kingdom, are agreeing to help.

-So far, reactions to the president's request has been a resounding no.

-Now, in fairness, it wasn't a no from every country.

In Germany, they said, "Our answer is five plus four."

And Trump said, "What?"

And Germany said, "Five plus four.

That is our answer. Do the math."

And Trump said, "Okay, let's see five plus four.

So, your answer is nine?" [nein]

And then the Germans just laughed and laughed and laughed. [ Laughter ] Or at least, I think they did, they're German.

It's hard to tell when they're laughing, you know, 'cause no sound comes out.

[ Laughter ] Seriously, you mean to tell me your genius plan of repeatedly insulting them for 10 straight years and then begging them to help you out of a jam you got yourself into didn't work?

But again, this is just how Donald Trump does friendship.

It's not, "I got your back, you got mine."

It's "You get my back, and while you're there, can you give me a neck rub?"

[ Laughter ] Now, NATO countries have made the very reasonable observation that this is not a war they started.

It's not on or near their territory, and it's not within the scope of their mission.

Trump then tried to insist that, actually, they're the ones who need the oil, while inadvertently revealing that, maybe, maybe this entire debacle was completely unnecessary.

Man, it's a shame no one made that case before we went!

[ Laughter ] I mean, there are so many cases to make here.

You can make the case that we shouldn't be there at all.

You can make the case that this was an unnecessary and an unprovoked war of choice.

You can make the case that this reckless and illegal war would destabilize the region.

You could make the case that Trump lied to his supporters by promising no new wars and then launched another disastrous, open-ended war.

I mean, at this point, you could probably make the case that this is going so badly because Trump mixed up the plans for war with Iran and war with Greenland. [ Laughter ] [ As Donald Trump ] "They blocked the Strait of Hormuz, but they only have two dog sleds!

Oh, you're right, I did switch them up.

Hold o-- Oh, [bleep].

Oh [bleep]!"

[ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] But if you're going to ask other countries to help with war we started, can you at least give them an idea of when that war might end?

-When are you going to know when it's over?

-Okay.

-I wouldn't trust your bones to feel anything, buddy.

Your Jell-O bones are barely capable of keeping you upright for an entire speech. [ Laughter ] You spent the entire State of the Union clutching the podium like Jack clutching that piece of wood at the end of "Titanic." [ Laughter ] Are you caught in a riptide or something?

Why are you white-knuckling the podium like my grandma on a roller coaster?

[ Laughter ] Now, Trump has been furious about reporting by CNN and other outlets that his administration didn't plan for Iran closing the Strait of Hormuz, which everyone has known for years they might do.

I mean, even I knew that, and I don't think I could find the Strait of Hormuz on a map.

I mean, the only straits I know are the Strait of Hormuz, the Strait of Gibraltar, and "Queer Eye for the Strait Guy."

[ Laughter ] But today, Trump insisted he definitely knew Iran would retaliate by closing the strait.

-I knew about the strait, that it would be a weapon, which I predicted a long time ago, predicted all of this stuff.

You guys were very generous in that I predicted all of it.

I predicted Osama bin Laden would...

knock out the World Trade Center.

I made that prediction a year before he did it.

I said, "You better get him. He's a bad guy."

I watched him...

be interviewed one time and I said, "That's a bad guy. You better get him."

One year before exactly, I wrote it in a book.

-Alright, first of all, you didn't write anything because there's no way you wrote those books yourself.

I'm guessing you write books the way a cat plays the keyboard.

[ Laughter ] You think that cat's a musical savant?

Someone's controlling those arms. Second, fact checkers have repeatedly pointed out this claim is not true, and even if it was, you think it makes you a genius because in the year 2000, you knew Osama bin Laden was a bad guy?

Everyone knew that.

What else did you predict in the year 2000?

[ As Donald Trump ] "I was ahead of everything.

I was the first guy to get frosted tips."

[ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] But as usual, Trump tried to have it both ways by insisting he knew the strait would be a problem, and also that it's not a problem at all because we don't need it.

-We don't need oil.

We have all the oil we need for ourselves.

It's one of the great assets that we have.

We have double, more than double, what anybody else in terms of oil production.

We're at more than double any other country, so we don't need it, but we did it.

It's almost, you could say we did it out of habit, which is not a good thing to do.

-Yeah, I agree! [ Laughter ] That's not a good thing to do!

Is Trump criticizing his own war?

What's he gonna do next?

Show up to a press conference in a shirt that says "No Kings"?

[ Laughter ] And what do you mean...

What do you mean we did it out of habit?

That's not how you go to war.

That's how you hook up with a toxic ex.

"I know, I shouldn't have gone to Mike's place.

I did it out of habit.

And also, he's so sloppy and obsolete!"

[ Laughter ] This is Trump's presidency in a nutshell.

He spent years being an obnoxious bully who insults friends, pushes away allies, and now that he's in a jam he got himself into, he expects everyone else to rush in and help him out.

You know what NATO should do just to troll him?

They should say, "Okay, we will help," and then send him...

-Two dog sleds.

-This has been "A Closer Look."

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪ L'amour ♪