On Betraying Your Own Potential | a perspective from Sartre

I have led a toothless life, he thought.

A toothless life. I have never bitten into anything. I was waiting. I was

into anything. I was waiting. I was

reserving myself for later on. And I

have just noticed that my teeth have gone. This is a famous line from the

gone. This is a famous line from the book The Age of Reason, which explores a core idea of Satra's philosophy that man is free in his choices. Yet, this very freedom is also what condemns him. The

novel is a portrait of unlived potential, and it constantly debates the idea of freedom, showing how it can become a trap. how the illusion of endless possibilities can keep us from

creating anything, waiting for the ideal in a world of endless possibilities where we are free to choose. In this

video, I will be discussing the book alongside some of these ideas. So, there

will be spoilers just to let you know now. First, let's start with a bit of a

now. First, let's start with a bit of a overview of the story. We meet Matur, a philosophy professor living in Paris, when he discovers that his reclusive lover, Marcel, has become pregnant.

seeking money for an abortion whilst also fighting his own indecision and insecurities. The novel plunges us into

insecurities. The novel plunges us into three days of Matio's life, which is a life that not only brings him deep dissatisfaction, but he is also very

quickly losing control of. In these

three days, he hardly sleeps. He drinks

way too much, asks everyone he knows for money, and even changes his mind about the marriage or abortion about a dozen times to ultimately do nothing at all.

The story begins as he stands on the threshold of what he ironically calls the age of reason. And this is a theme that is mirrored at the open and close of the novel. And everything that

happens in between is simply an explanation for his crossing of this threshold. Throughout the story, we see

threshold. Throughout the story, we see that his life is so full of possibilities, but he always refuses. He

never takes any of these unless he feels that his heart is 100% in it. He prides

himself on having no commitments, no obligations that could in any way restrict or trap him. But this comes at the cost of the very things that he actually desires. His idealism is what

actually desires. His idealism is what blinds him and makes him think that he can have a life that is perfect and flawless. So he avoids anything that

flawless. So he avoids anything that doesn't live up to this ideal that he waits for. But it's a trap. This idea of

waits for. But it's a trap. This idea of freedom that is depicted in the story is him refusing to make choices. He is

constantly refusing different life paths before him out of fear of being restricted. But this is a freedom of not

restricted. But this is a freedom of not a freedom to. There are all sorts of different understandings of what freedom actually means. And one of these very

actually means. And one of these very simply is that there is freedom from doing things. And this is the freedom

doing things. And this is the freedom from experiences that we don't want to go through. But then there is also on

go through. But then there is also on the other side the freedom to the freedom to do and experience the things that we want. And this is exactly what we see with Mature. He cannot do the

things he wants because he refuses to commit to the very things that would give him more freedom in the long run.

Ultimately his freedom is nothing. It's

empty. This contradiction is exactly what leads to the core pain of the story. In refusing to commit to anything

story. In refusing to commit to anything to preserve his freedom, Matio realizes that his life has come to nothing. In

the final pages of the book, Matio states, "All I do, I do for nothing. It

might be said that I am robbed of the consequences of my acts. Everything

happens as though I could always play my strokes again. I don't know what I would

strokes again. I don't know what I would give to do something irrevocable." And

what's interesting is that he says this right at the end when he decides to do nothing at all. So why does he act so contrary to his proclaimed desire? His

actions confuse us throughout the entire novel. He can't confess his love to

novel. He can't confess his love to Marcel yet he will make her go get an abortion. Both of these things are

abortion. Both of these things are choices that have different consequences. Yet what he fears the most

consequences. Yet what he fears the most is responsibility. And perhaps this is

is responsibility. And perhaps this is why he runs to Ivich, who is disinterested in him and not a real candidate for a relationship or marriage. Anyways, as soon as he's

marriage. Anyways, as soon as he's confronted with his very real attachment to Marcel, who loves him and now also needs him. In the past, his relationship

needs him. In the past, his relationship with Marcel was non-committal. He

benefited from it without any real responsibilities towards her. And this

is the only thing that has actually changed in the story through her falling pregnant. It's this glimmer of a

pregnant. It's this glimmer of a potential responsibility that sends him running, refusing the task, and resigning himself to a life of nothing at all. He calls this the age of reason,

at all. He calls this the age of reason, yet it's a mask for something entirely unreasonable, the fear of life. While

Matio believes that commitment of any kind is a loss of his freedom, at the same time by refusing to make any real choices, he is also refusing to live his

life. It's obvious that there is so much

life. It's obvious that there is so much potential in him that is never realized.

There is so much inside of him that is never brought into life because he refuses to commit to any one path. He

avoids making any choice until he can find this ideal. But in doing so, he basically lets his whole life waste away. However, commitment is necessary

away. However, commitment is necessary for true freedom. Without it, we have nothing. We are free to choose in life.

nothing. We are free to choose in life.

But that freedom can only be realized by actually making choices by intentionally choosing how we shape our life. This is

what shows us that maybe we need to look at commitments as roots rather than chains. It's just like the saying how

chains. It's just like the saying how specializing in something may restrict us temporarily, but it actually opens up our options later on. It gives us more possibilities and more freedom through

committing to something. Mati has so much talent and potential, yet it's all wasted. And perhaps that's what makes

wasted. And perhaps that's what makes the ending of the book so bitter. It's a

failed life. We can see through the series of all of his little choices that it didn't have to be that way. He calls

it reaching the age of reason, but it's ironic because his behavior is anything but reasonable. Reason would mean to

but reasonable. Reason would mean to live honestly according to one's true character. reason would encourage Matu

character. reason would encourage Matu to marry Marcel to raise their child together, to accept his brother's offer for a better and higher paying job. And

yet, Mat and every other character in the story consistently says one thing while their actions state the opposite.

They are constantly at war with themselves. caught between their true

themselves. caught between their true desires and the lies that they tell themselves in order to avoid any and all responsibilities in life. Mati is

ultimately afraid of making a mistake of taking on responsibilities that he cannot fulfill. Yet this comes at the

cannot fulfill. Yet this comes at the cost of never realizing his full potential of settling for a life of disappointment. He avoids failure and

disappointment. He avoids failure and therefore he avoids success. Matir

believes in his own potential so much that he is most afraid of ending up ordinary. And this is a very common

ordinary. And this is a very common theme, one that we see a lot with these sort of idealistic intellectual characters. They hide away from life in

characters. They hide away from life in their own minds where they can believe that they have so much potential. They

have so much talent. They can feel special and significant and their worth is never challenged by the trials of life. And while they really may have all

life. And while they really may have all these possibilities, they ultimately never realize any of it. Their life is empty. Does this sound familiar? Yung

empty. Does this sound familiar? Yung

would call this the pua complex, which is the fear of life. It is a state of psychic immaturity where usually each challenge we encounter in life acts as

an opportunity for growth. Instead, we

run away from it. Rather than fighting the dragon and emerging from it as a hero with a boon, we run away and we remain stuck in these unresolved stories

and we feel the weight of all these unlived possibilities and resentment on our chest. And Mati fits into this

our chest. And Mati fits into this perfectly. He repeats the same mistakes

perfectly. He repeats the same mistakes over and over again. He even dreads time passing because as he says, he knows that 6 months from now he'll be exactly

the same as he is in the moment. And

maybe this is why he's hanging out with people so much younger than he is because he's unable to grow. He's unable

to move on. He no longer grows as a person. And this is why his age starts

person. And this is why his age starts to feel like a burden to him because he has nothing to show for it. He gradually

grows bitter as he tries to cope with this failure of a life. This is where the novel explores one of the core ideas of Satra's philosophy, which is that

existence precedes essence. This means

that man is not born with an intrinsic value but creates his own value through his will and actions. He is forloren because he is devoid of God and only

himself responsible for his actions as well as inactions. Inaction also being an action. He is free to choose in his

an action. He is free to choose in his life. And ultimately this freedom is

life. And ultimately this freedom is what becomes his condemnation. As sato

puts it in his existentialism as a humanism. Man first of all exists,

humanism. Man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world, and defines himself afterwards.

We see this in every character in the story. There is no such thing as fate or

story. There is no such thing as fate or potential, but instead each character is a culmination of their choices. Matio

wants to see himself as some misunderstood idealist, but in reality, he is a coward and a failure. He is

unsuccessful in nearly every area of his life. And people no doubt think poorly

life. And people no doubt think poorly of him, especially after he goes around begging and stealing money from the people he knows in order to abort his own child. He's constantly questioning

own child. He's constantly questioning himself and breaking down upon his loved ones, claiming that he doesn't know what he wants. And it's pathetic. And I think

he wants. And it's pathetic. And I think that's exactly the wakeup call that this book is supposed to have. One of my favorite novels is by Herman Hessa which

actually has many similarities to Age of Reason. However, involve the tone of the

Reason. However, involve the tone of the narration has always been really interesting to me because it seems to have a very mocking yet also comforting

tone. The narrative laughs at the

tone. The narrative laughs at the character of the boy again and again.

How he takes himself so seriously, how he fights with himself, how he runs away from everything in life. And Age of Reason carries the same sort of undertone. Even the title itself is

undertone. Even the title itself is ironic. All we see is every single

ironic. All we see is every single character act unreasonably throughout the story. And the final paragraph of

the story. And the final paragraph of the book only highlights this irony. The

story ends with he yawned. He had

finished the day and he had also finished with his youth. Various well-

bred moralities had already discreetly offered him their services.

disillusioned epicurionism, smiling tolerance, resignation, common sense, stoicism, all the aids whereby a man may savor minute by minute like a connoisseur the failure of a life. He

took off his jacket and began to undo his necktie. He yawned again as he

his necktie. He yawned again as he repeated to himself, "It's true. It's

absolutely true. I have attained the age of reason." And this is exactly what

of reason." And this is exactly what makes the reader want to grab him and shake him and say, "No, go back."

because he can change all of this and it's painful because it's obviously not reasonable. It's simply the result of

reasonable. It's simply the result of all of his own choices. In both and age of reason, we have a point where the characters are laughing at themselves at how seriously they had taken themselves

and realizing that nothing actually matters. They are free, but the very

matters. They are free, but the very thing that restricts them is this identity that they have built for themselves. Steenov ends on a note of

themselves. Steenov ends on a note of hope. We see that maybe he actually has

hope. We see that maybe he actually has change. There is hope for him and his

change. There is hope for him and his future that he can change his identity and turn his life around. However, Age

of Reason ends on a very pessimistic note. Despite Matier having a final

note. Despite Matier having a final chance to actually change his ways and have everything that he wants, the end of the book shows him giving up. It

shows him not taking any action and ultimately comforting himself with the worst possible tools and knowing that he has made his bed and now he wants to lie in it. We know that he will likely never

in it. We know that he will likely never change. He will grow resentful and

change. He will grow resentful and bitter, never realizing all that he could have been. I know when I first read this book, I felt the lesson of it quite deeply. It feels like an

quite deeply. It feels like an uncomfortable jab, a bit like those stories that were read as kids that are cautionary tales that try to teach you moral lessons through these exaggerated

consequences of misbehavior. And Age of Reason reads a lot like an adult version of this. It's made me realize how much

of this. It's made me realize how much last year I was in my shoes. I've felt

this with writing. I've had many projects that I'm working on, but have been hesitant to commit to any one because what if it's the wrong choice?

What if another one is better? But you

know, it's been over a year of this kind of hesitance. And you know what's a lot

of hesitance. And you know what's a lot worse than choosing the wrong project?

Never finishing any. This is what made me think of a quote that I read a while ago that really gave me a good push.

Action happens when you stop asking what if I fail and start asking what if I don't try. One keeps you stuck, the

don't try. One keeps you stuck, the other makes you move. And this is the thing. Often times the thing that keeps

thing. Often times the thing that keeps us stuck is doubt. Matu doubts himself constantly. He questions himself over

constantly. He questions himself over and over. He is always doubtful. He

and over. He is always doubtful. He

waits and waits to make a decision until he has absolute certainty. And yet, in doing so, he never makes any decision at all. And this is really contrasted by

all. And this is really contrasted by other characters in the story who don't wait for certainty, but simply act in the moment. They have a lot more

the moment. They have a lot more momentum and also agency in the story.

I've realized that in my own writing, it's also doubt that has been keeping me from making a decision. However, I've

realized that doubt is a very important part of the process. It shows us areas for growth, for improvement. I believe

the way to success in whatever you do isn't so much a flat path to follow, but it's more like a stairwell where every time you try to take a step forward, you

reach a point where your way is blocked off. You cannot continue exactly the way

off. You cannot continue exactly the way that you've been going. You need to literally and figuratively step up. And

this requires action. And this requires a change. Mat never does this. He never

a change. Mat never does this. He never

steps up. He doesn't step up in his career, in his relationship, as a father, in his social life. He

constantly remains at such a low level that only at the end does he realize that he has been hanging out with a bunch of kids, getting drunk, and doing dumb stuff every night while they see

him as this weird old man who just tags along. He's behind in life, and it's

along. He's behind in life, and it's because he refuses to take that step.

Just imagine how different his life could look if he would actually act upon the opportunities in front of him. He

would work with his brother and make good money to live the bourgeoa lifestyle that he actually desires. He

could get involved in politics and actually put his philosophy to the test in the real world. He would be a father, a husband, all of these things that he wants. And would they all be perfectly

wants. And would they all be perfectly easy and seamless? Probably not. but he

would be able to figure it out just like every other person. He would be able to actually put his potential to the test.

There's a saying that if you knew you were 100 failures away from success, how fast would he want to fail? And I think this is a great thought to keep in mind cuz often the very thing that we are

avoiding that we are postponing our actions is because we are afraid of failure. And yet when you think about

failure. And yet when you think about it, success doesn't have any meaning without failure. We need to fail and we

without failure. We need to fail and we need to fail most of the time because success is what makes up that rare moment that our efforts are paid off. So

then the question becomes how can we fail and learn enough to get to where we want to be? I can now look back on the past few years of my life and see how I

would have had more success if I would have allowed myself to fail more easily.

Instead, I dragged things out. I even

avoided trying and wasted so much time in doing so. And if you do this long enough, you eventually end up like Mature and you've wasted your whole life. So to sum things up, Age of Reason

life. So to sum things up, Age of Reason is a cautionary tale that expresses Satra's philosophy that we are the sum of our choices. And for life to have any

meaning at all, we must first create it through our actions. that there is no such thing as perfection and that idealism is an intellectual trap that will keep us from actually living our

life. Matu perfectly fits Yung's

life. Matu perfectly fits Yung's archetype of the poet Atanos the eternal child as he constantly runs from all responsibility and commitment and he calls this freedom but instead of

freedom he ends up with nothing. Oz is

his own wasted potential and in his own words a failed life disguised under the ironic mask of reason. Through the age of reason, Satler calls out the trap

that so many people fall into. And

through Mati's story, we see how we make the same mistakes in our own life, living out of fear and how we justify it through resignation, tolerance, pessimism. And he mocks this. He

pessimism. And he mocks this. He

practically laughs at Matier, the reader, who finds parts of himself come alive in the story. And maybe that's why I love this book. It's stories like these, just like that, that make you

laugh. They make you laugh at life and

laugh. They make you laugh at life and how absurd it all is and how we take ourselves so seriously when none of it actually matters. Mati starts the story

actually matters. Mati starts the story feeling like he is so important, he has so much talent and potential and maybe he does, but in the end he is only

defined by his actions and he realizes that he is nothing. It's the restrictive identity that he has built that keeps him trapped that keeps him from actually

being able to choose to act to be free.

As Matier says, he has led a toothless life. He has spent his whole life

life. He has spent his whole life waiting and waiting and has never bitten into anything. And this really reminded

into anything. And this really reminded me of Sylvia Platt's metaphor of the fig tree, which very similarly describes her sitting under a fig tree and looking up

at all the different figs. And while she is deciding which one to eat and pick, she waits so long in her indecision that all the figs have fallen from the tree and have rotted. In this story, each of

the figs represents a different life path that she could have taken. They are

all choices spread out in front of her.

And just like Mat, by refusing to take any of them, her life passes by and she never makes a choice. Both of these stories teach us to simply act, to just try and not let the trap of waiting for

some ideal cause us to waste our whole life. Anyways, thank you so much for

life. Anyways, thank you so much for watching. I hope you've enjoyed this

watching. I hope you've enjoyed this video. I would love to hear your

video. I would love to hear your thoughts on this as well. So, please let me know in the comments and I will see you next time. Bye.