Q&A | Answering Questions You’re Afraid to Ask

What are your thoughts on dating apps? Have you ever been part of the hookup culture? How to get over guys who give you mixed signals? How is it really

culture? How to get over guys who give you mixed signals? How is it really co-parenting with your ex? Today, I'm going to be volunteering to be your only I've definitely put on some mileage in my life, so I feel like I've got some

input. Oh lord, there's so much about dating. Okay, and we're just going to

input. Oh lord, there's so much about dating. Okay, and we're just going to come in hot. What are your thoughts on dating apps? To this day, I have not used a dating app. It's not like like I don't have an aversion towards it. Like

I think for some people it works. Like my cousin found her husband on Hinge.

How sick is that? And we love him. What's up, Steve? You know, I do think that your soulmate could potentially be on there. But I prefer meeting people the good oldfashioned way in real life. uh either like through mutual friends or

maybe we're at a party or like out and about somewhere, but preferably through mutual friends because that way there's already a referral like it's not just a random.

Does anyone else not wash their face with soap in the morning? It's already

clean. I'm just removing the creams off my face. I also don't really enjoy the process of just like thumbming through men's dating profiles and examining like photographs of men. It's very strange. I think this might be a hot take, but I

think most men do not photograph well. And if you do, that means you're part of this category where you're just so unbelievably attractive that every photo looks great. Or it means you've spent some time and practice taking good

looks great. Or it means you've spent some time and practice taking good photos. And for some reason, I just find that just emasculating. I know it's it's

photos. And for some reason, I just find that just emasculating. I know it's it's unfair. I realized that I'm the problem because this is just this is just what

unfair. I realized that I'm the problem because this is just this is just what online dating is like. It's part of the system. So, I would rather just remove myself from that process as and meet people out in the field because I think

like once I meet someone in real life then their like digital persona, I I don't really care because I know the person in real life like biologically.

Have you ever been part of the hookup culture? Every once in a blue moon, there's like a part of me that thinks, you know what, that could be a little interesting. But if I am so for real with myself, I know that that would be a

interesting. But if I am so for real with myself, I know that that would be a nightmare. Like a one night stand, God, the the anxiety I would feel after, it's

nightmare. Like a one night stand, God, the the anxiety I would feel after, it's just not worth it at this point in my life. Like, it's just it's just not for

me. It just it just can't. There's just too much on the line. But I really have

me. It just it just can't. There's just too much on the line. But I really have nothing against people who are able to get their physical needs met without the emotional side. But yeah, just something that I never was able to do. Like I'm

emotional side. But yeah, just something that I never was able to do. Like I'm

very quick to have a conversation with you and we could talk about everything, but when you're crossing that physical line, man, there's it's like a maze.

It's like a corn maze with levels. When you know your relationship is not fixable and you have to end it. This question is heavy because everyone's end

point is different, but there's like a few telltale signs. The main one is if you find yourself mutating into a version of yourself that you don't like.

Every person that you interact with, they activate a different part of you.

And if your partner is making you more irritable and cranky, if life feels heavier and more impossible when they're with you, like the writing is kind of on the walls. Honestly, I feel like this could be a result of just layers of resentment

walls. Honestly, I feel like this could be a result of just layers of resentment piled on top of each other. And I think it's fixable as long as both parties are willing to roll up the sleeves and do the work. But even if one person doesn't

want to participate, then the relationship is toast. [Music]

All right, makeup is done. This question is hilarious. Someone asked, "Help! My

boyfriend's mom literally has everything. I know Christmas is months away, but as a fellow Virgo, I must impress." First of all, I feel this so hard, but when in doubt, I always unwrap the holidays with the Google Holiday 100. Huge thank you to Google for sponsoring this portion of the video.

100. Huge thank you to Google for sponsoring this portion of the video.

And shout out to Warby Parker, too. The Google Holiday 100 is a curated list of the year's most searched gift ideas. So that way you know you're buying something that people actually want. And if you're buying any last minute gifts, use the nearby feature. So that way you can find hard to find gifts in places

that are local to you, like these Elio sunglasses from Morie Parker. They're

the perfect gift. Check out the scalloped edge, the little rivet detail.

They're just so timeless, so chic. Plus, they're scratch resistant, so you can just throw them in your purse and take them anywhere. These are $95. They're

great quality, and they work on anyone, whether it's your boyfriend's mom, your best friend, even you. And the best part is I didn't need to overthink it because the Google Holiday 100 list has the top searches of all the best gifts. So,

they're always going to hit. So, whether you're the friend who shops early or you're the one panic buying during Christmas Eve, just ask Google. Check

out the Google Holiday 100. I'll leave a link in my description box. That way you can just kickstart your seasonal shopping or just get some ideas. Shout

out to Google Shopping for helping me discover the top gifts of the year and to WBY Parker for the perfect sunglasses. Now, let's get back to more of your questions. All right, let's make a quick little matcha.

There is something kind of funky I do with my matcha. I add this brainwash supplement. It's basically got it's like a neutropic. There's a bunch of

supplement. It's basically got it's like a neutropic. There's a bunch of mushrooms that are supposed to enhance like cognitive performance. Does it

work? I I'd like to think so. It basically makes my matcha uh more chocolatey. So, I just add a pack of this. Oof, some iced milk.

chocolatey. So, I just add a pack of this. Oof, some iced milk.

So, this is a drink that I have every day. I stopped drinking coffee at home maybe I want to say like for like 2 months. It's only because I started to get a bunch of acid reflux. This is why I decided to choose matcha.

It tastes like chocolate milk that's a little bit more earthy. How to get over guys who give you mixed signals. I cannot stand mixed signals. As someone

who has a lot of anxiety, I like certainty. All I'll say is if someone genuinely likes you, it will be clear. It will be abundantly clear that they like you. When you text them, they respond back at a reasonable hour. If

like you. When you text them, they respond back at a reasonable hour. If

you want to make plans with them, they give you dates. In fact, they want to make plans with you. There's not all this mumbo jumbo gray zone area when someone likes you. So, if you're interacting with someone who's giving

you mixed signals, chances are they are not like willing to double down on you or maybe they're weighing out other options. Either way, they're not sure about how they feel about you. So, if I had to give you like a time limit, I'd

say four weeks. That's just shy of a month of your life. It's long enough to give them a chance to get their together to see if they are vibing with you or not, but you're not wasting too much time where you're wasting your life.

Also, the people that give you mixed signals tend to stick out in your mind more because they're doing this thing called intermittent positive reinforcement. Basically, your brain gets addicted to how unpredictable it

reinforcement. Basically, your brain gets addicted to how unpredictable it all is. It's like when you're playing the slot machines. You just keep hitting

all is. It's like when you're playing the slot machines. You just keep hitting the slots and maybe you'll get some change back. The same concept goes to someone that gives you mixed signals. Like, you spend most of your time

overthinking every little thing and wondering like, does this person even like me? And then when you finally get that text back or they finally give you

like me? And then when you finally get that text back or they finally give you like a little tiny spurt of attention, it's like a little bit of a dopamine rise that just keeps you coming for more. But for me, I am quick to cut my

losses when someone's giving me mixed signals. Like if you want to be with me, you got to be 10 toes down. Like I don't want a pinky toe up. They all have to be down. And that's what I want for you. I am currently going through a divorce.

down. And that's what I want for you. I am currently going through a divorce.

any tips on how to cope and emerge stronger. I think it's fair to say that divorce sucks for everyone. It's like a universal experience that is terrible for everyone involved. Like even if you don't hate your ex, it still sucks.

Keeps me going is knowing that there's the finish line and the like the feelings of like grief and the feelings of being overwhelmed, they come in waves and so you just have to let it pass. How did you know you wanted to be a mom? I

feel like there was no point in my life where I was like, "All right, I'm ready to be a mom now." Like, "Let's try for a baby." The choice was sprung up on me.

It was 2020. Uh my period was late, peed on a stick, and then I found out I was pregnant. I was freaked out, shocked. In the end, I decided to become a mom

pregnant. I was freaked out, shocked. In the end, I decided to become a mom because I felt like I would have more regrets if I didn't go along with the

pregnancy. And thank God I did. I'll be the first to say that children are not

pregnancy. And thank God I did. I'll be the first to say that children are not for everyone. Like it is it is challenging, but having my son has been

for everyone. Like it is it is challenging, but having my son has been truly the most transformative thing that has ever happened to me. If life were

Sims, when my son arrived, it's like the expansion pack came. I was already like a pretty emotional person, but being a parent made everything like 10 times

more intense and richer. It's like everything became very visceral. like

the the sorrow and the the anxiety and the and the sadness you feel being a parent. It feels like a tidal wave is just flattening you. But when you are

parent. It feels like a tidal wave is just flattening you. But when you are happy, it feels like you're just soaring off a mountain and it's just it's transcendent. It it's it's so hard to put in words. So it's just like for

transcendent. It it's it's so hard to put in words. So it's just like for every part that is hard, there is something that is equally as rewarding.

So it's just a matter of like do you want your life to be more intense? It's

like, do you want to feel alive? Have a kid. Each year of motherhood feels like I'm like part of this insane workout regime. Like every day I am like challenged. I'm sore, but like I see my muscles growing. And that's just what

challenged. I'm sore, but like I see my muscles growing. And that's just what parenthood does for you in like the self-development sense. It's just a roller coaster. So if you if so, if you're looking to go on a ride and you

roller coaster. So if you if so, if you're looking to go on a ride and you can find a partner that is willing to do it with you, I'd say strap in. How is it really co-parenting with your ex? Co-parenting has definitely been a

learning curve because this is our first time doing this. It's also our first time being parents. So, it's a lot of firsts colliding, but truthfully, I'm really proud of the way me and Ben have handled all of this. Like, even though

we're not romantically together, like we will always be a family, period. Like, I

actually have trouble calling him my ex. I never refer to him as my ex. I always

call him like uh Lennon's dad or the father of my child. I know that title sounds really serious and formal, but it's because it is like the like the

weight is warranted in that title. Like this man is the father of my child because when you have a baby with someone, that person becomes your relative. So, I think that there's always going to be like a foundation of

relative. So, I think that there's always going to be like a foundation of mutual respect. His well-being is important. my well-being is important

mutual respect. His well-being is important. my well-being is important because if we're not good, then our son's not good. So, I think like co-parenting is really it's all about communication and adjusting when needed.

And so, the biggest game changer that has happened is us doing this monthly co-parenting meeting. This is where we talk all things about our son. There are

co-parenting meeting. This is where we talk all things about our son. There are

updates, there's school stuff, there's scheduling, there's his interest, there's behavior that we notice that's great and not so great. And so this is where we can kind of tweak and adjust things. These meetings have been so

helpful because it creates cohesion between both households. Uh we fill out this template on notion and it's just incredible. Like honestly, got to give

me and Ben a pat on our backs. Like even if you're not co-parenting, this template could help. How do you maintain a sense of youthfulness even when life

forces you to adult really hard? H the key to always feeling young is to be able to be excited about the little things. Like when I notice my son and like other kids, they're just so stoked on anything and everything. Like it

could be like the fact like we're getting gelato or like we're at a park and he notices a school friend, he's like like he loses his mind. And I think it's that pure enthusiasm that keeps them so young. And I feel like that's something that a lot of

adults tend to lose. I feel like some grown-ups don't give themselves permission to be happy unless it's like a big moment. You can't be happy unless you're on vacation or if you got a promotion or you got engaged. And these

milestones are moments to be celebrated, but they're not sustainable. You're

like, you're not going to be doing this type of stuff every day. So, I think it's about letting yourself get excited for the little things like like your wacky matcha chocolate drink. Like, I am genuinely thrilled to drink this every

day. Fresh laundry, an organized drawer, phone call with a friend. I don't know.

day. Fresh laundry, an organized drawer, phone call with a friend. I don't know.

It's just like these small little things are the ones that are going to keep you afloat in this sea of dread. It's the tiny things like the daily delights that

are going to like keep you hovering from depression. All right. Well, I think I'm going to end it here. Thank you for spending the morning with me. I'm going to go pick up my son and uh I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye.