Roxie Nafousi ON: You're MANIFESTING WRONG! - Manifest Success & Abundance CORRECTLY | Jay Shetty

you cannot manifest things that are totally out of your control manifesting is about becoming so empowered and so full of self-belief that you make things happen and in that it means that you

can't manifest things that have absolutely nothing to do with you this isn't a game of luck the best-selling author and host the number one Health and Wellness podcast on purpose with Jay Shetty

hey everyone welcome back to on purpose the number one Health podcast in the world thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to become happier healthier and more healed

now I love sitting down with a guest that I've been chopping up with on messages and getting to know and following for some time and today's guess is someone that I've had a few interactions with offline and I'm being

honest with you one of the sweetest warmest kindest people that I've connected with and when I first came across her book and her work I was so happy to see someone take this very big

word take this very known theme that we've kind of repeated over the years but then make it their own and really help us more deeply understand it unpack it and live it and

I think that's the part that I'm most intrigued by is that I think this word's been thrown around for a long time and it's kind of been a bit ethereal and not as tangible and today's guest is someone who I think is going to make it super

easy super practical and super applicable for everyone who's listening and watching wherever you are in the world I'm talking about Roxy nafusi the author of manifest seven steps to living

your best life if you don't already have this book make sure you go and order a copy right now we have the link uh in the caption in all the details make sure you go and grab a copy uh but Roxy I'm

so excited to have you here today I've genuinely loved whether it's been us emailing dming whatever it's been and it's so great to have you here finally so thanks for coming I am so excited I've been smiling throughout that whole

introduction and honestly I feel like I'm pinching myself so I have to tell you at the beginning of this year on New Year's if I always do a vision board and I dream as big as possible and it was

before the book had even been released and right in the middle I wrote Jay Shetty really vague I was like I have to connect with him obviously I wanted to go on the podcast

um and it was like a huge dream for me so thank you so much for having me no of course and you have to say I want to see that you've got to send that to me I will I'll send you a picture yeah I love seeing people's vision boards I think

it's such an important activity to manifest yeah and I've done that in so many ways when I first moved to LA as well for me that was my kind of approach where I was like I need to know

I want to connect with people I think I genuinely connect with and I think that's been a big part of my manifestation is that it's always come from a really good intention it's come from a genuine place of I don't want

something from someone I I want to connect with them and I think we'll we'll dive into that and we'll get into it but it's so awesome because I know you were on the Today Show in New York uh you know in La it's it seems like

you're taking the book International which is which is amazing but I've loved seeing how you've been you know I've seen the Manifest events that you're doing out in London as well and across the UK like talk to me about I want to

know more about you and your journey when did you first start your spiritual self-discovery your personal Journey

where did that begin so to kind of give you some background before because I started when I was about 27 just about to turn 28 so I think it was probably my

Saturn returns as well but up until then I was the opposite of spiritual I had been in an addiction to cocaine

alcohol and cigarettes for almost 10 years and I was obviously suffering from depression and it's one of those things was the drugs causing the depression or the depression fueling the drugs but it

was obviously a combination of both um but even prior to that I had always been someone who was extremely negative

I had more self-loathing than I could ever describe I truly hated who I was um from my earliest years you know when

I was growing up I was an Iraqi growing up in Oxford my name's Rowan the Iraqi war broke out

um and you know there was this kind of media attack on Muslims and I grew up in a very devout Muslim family

and I was treated pretty horrifically at school and I started to really reject where I was coming from and when you reject where you're coming from you are just rejecting yourself and who you are

and I think that was stemming all this self-loathing and so when I was 12 I decided to move schools um after this incident where I'd been locked in a phone box basically being

called Saddam it was really I'd actually blocked out the memory for ages and I decided to change my name from Rowan to Roxy and then it that kind of continued this

journey of escaping for myself and who and who I was and it took me until this kind of major Rock Bottom in um May 2018 when I'd been on a yoga teacher training

course and I really thought this is going to change my life I am going to you know do 200 hours of yoga I'm meditating I've

got no access to these drugs and you know all the cigarettes and everything that I was using to escape um and I felt that that was gonna be it and I remember there was a monk there

and he read my poem and he said you've got this Fork on your palm and you're here to help lead um with your wisdom and I was like okay

great I'm gonna go home and be a yoga teacher and at the beginning of my classes I will try and inspire people and that was kind of my goal then

but I got back to London and 24 hours later a friend called me and she was like do you want to come to this party and I was like yeah and within

an hour of being with her I was back taking drugs and I went on a 48-hour Bender basically didn't go to bed

did some things I really regret and I woke up feeling totally a rock bottom like the shame the regret and I felt like I was unchangeable I thought this

is just who I am and I called my friend Sophia and she is she is quite she is very spiritual and I would say she's quite woo like she's quite out there and she said oh you should listen to this

podcast on manifesting and I thought oh okay well this is going to be something that's really woo and out there but I'll give it a listen because at this point I'll try anything and I listened to this podcast and I

realized that manifesting was all about self-worth and something in me just clicked you know I think we all have those moments where we hear one thing and it kind of

just changes everything and hearing about manifesting was that Catalyst for my change and from then I started immersing myself

I would say it's like I brainwashed myself with self-development in the best way I was listening to podcasts reading books like I love YouTube for motivational videos

um and I was doing everything I could to try and understand how to change my my mindset how to rewire my brain the way that I was thinking the way I felt about

myself but all of it really was manifestation so for me manifesting is the umbrella and all of self-development and healing Falls underneath it wow I

love that definition and thank you for telling us about your story a bit too like how did you how did you first get introduced to like cocaine and drugs and and all of that world because I totally understand what you're saying that you

were going through this bullying's an understatement because it it's it was a lot worse and it and it can be a lot worse but you're going through this kind of tension stress pressure that's coming

from the outside because of where you're from and where your family's from and things like that but then how did it go so far to that extreme where did you get introduced to these things and how did

they become normality when I was at school I remember trying it was called a wkd it was like yes and I remember trying it for the first

time and thinking gosh like something about this feels quite good and I slowly slowly started drinking every now and then it was not common like my mum

obviously never like knew that I was drinking you know she would be so upset if she did and but I was doing it kind of like casually and then when I left

school then I went to University I was 18 and actually I've just remembered the first time yeah I went to an after party and I remember taking cocaine for the first

time and just thinking it was great and I just loved it and as someone who had absolutely no confidence what this drug was giving me

was this false confidence and so the youth started to become more regular but it I actually formed the addiction I would say really quite

rapidly Because by the age of 22 I was in my first n a meeting I knew that something was not right that I was doing it to excess I would you know when I'd be getting ready to go on a night out it

would be 4 P.M in the afternoon and I'd be on my own taking having a line because it would give me this false confidence as I was getting ready but I obviously then didn't give up

until I was 28 so there was this long period of time where I knew I had an addiction but trying to get out of it was so so hard and the shame that comes

when you're constantly trying to remove yourself from something is you know it is I did feel it was very traumatic time even now if I see people on TV doing

drugs or if I've been out and I see people coming home from an after party I have a physical response to it I feel so anxious

um so yeah it's it was a time yeah wow yeah I mean that dies in trauma that just disappears and yeah and just leaves you and what you said earlier it can be

so hard when manifesting in self-worth are so correlated yeah to manifest from that kind of a place can be really difficult because I'm guessing when you're saying gee I don't feel confident

and that's why I do this because it makes me feel confident it means you're coming from a place of I don't have self-worth but then to manifest I have to believe that there's more for me to deserve and more for me to earn and more

for me to create and so let's let's dive into that and keep kind of coming back to where you were too because how did you learn to manifest for

yourself from a place of a lack of confidence and a lack of self-worth well firstly now in reflection I was manifesting but the wrong direction

right so I was actually attracting I think a lot of negativity to me and I was constantly thinking you know I wasn't making any money like I had no

career I was trying but at the last moment they'd pull out or they wouldn't want to work with me and I was for sure manifesting that because I was kept saying to myself I know it's not going to work I know this person's Gonna

Cancel I spent so much time on my own I was so lonely like I truly know the meaning of loneliness and it's like deepest level um but when I decided you know and I

discovered manifesting and like you say I realized that it was so closely linked to self-worth um how I started was to start my healing

journey and I the first kind of technique I used was to fall asleep to affirmation playlists because I realized that your subconscious was acceptable as you're falling asleep

but there was but then there was an ongoing journey and by the way I'm still on it yeah of course like I'm still on that self-worth Journey you know we spoke before you know there are still things that are definitely kind of my

blocks but I don't know if you had this and because I I said before I wish I was here you're not allowed to interview me today we will save that for another time

today's about you and your books yeah when I first um heard about kind of self-development and I would listen to speakers and people would say oh it's a lifelong journey of healing I

was like what do you mean it's a lifelong journey that sounds hideous what's the point I was in this like self-development honeymoon so at the beginning you know when you find healing

and I've been in this real dark place and then I start to see changes I start to see the light I thought well this is it I'm Healed I'm never gonna feel bad

again like this is great and it's exactly like being in a relationship when you start I'm never going to argue with this person we're going to be together forever and then you know time goes on and you realize that's not the

case and now what I realize is that yes it is a lifelong journey but with every single

kind of layer you peel off you open up this huge potential for growth and abundance and opportunity and you're constantly up leveling so even when you

take a step back you're still never going back as far as you went and that for me is really reassuring and I hope for anyone listening who's also thinking what do you mean this is an ongoing

Journey it's ongoing but in the best possible way yeah I I think it's interesting when you say that because I think I believe that everything's a lifelong

journey there's literally nothing that you could actually say has a beginning and an end because even when you look at something that you don't think grows anymore it is growing it's just growing

slowly or it's growing differently or it's growing uniquely but everything's either growing or dying at any given time and I think people forget that I like the point you made that you can

manifest negatively and you can actually manifest the other way can you give us an example of how we do that like how do we almost manifest things not working out so I think like really simple

examples if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed you wake up in a really bad mood and then you miss your train and you know

your meeting gets canceled and you stub your toe or whatever it is we've all had those experiences in those days where we kind of just operating at this low Vibe

we're in a bad mood and then that's what's happening but there's also I think a deeper level where we you know so much is self-fulfilling prophecies so if we are constantly operating from this

belief system that we aren't worthy that we aren't enough that we can't you know receive abundance then we're going to change the way that we interpret and the

meaning we attach to everything we experience so we might have a conversation with someone which is a in in perspective someone else's perspective is just a like really normal

conversation but to that person who's got that low self-worth and and believes everybody's against them they might take that conversation totally the wrong way and then sabotage the relationship and

then go see I told you I told you nobody's here for me or I told you I can you know whatever it is and so I think in that sense we are absolutely manifesting negativity into our lives

because of how we're perceiving the world through that lens of low self-worth or low self-esteem yeah no that's such a great answer and I'm so glad you raised that point because I think people think they're like okay

well should I start manifesting should I not does it work does it not and the point is you're already doing it yes in in one way or another and I think a lot of people struggle with the idea of

manifesting for people who are kind of more skeptical or cynical and things like that and and you know you you said you came from a non- kind of spiritual background too to some degree it sounds

or not open to these ideas and and that's the same with me if someone told me about manifesting years ago I would have just been like that's weird like that doesn't work it's just hard work it's just you've got to put in the time

and now I realize I was subconsciously manifesting so many incredible things in my life not knowing the term not knowing the process and then I was like well actually if you

know the process you can use it better yes right like I think that's something that we don't understand it's almost like if everyone is listening or watching if you think about something you do actually ask your friends this

ask your friends what do I do well and whatever answer they give you there might be some things in that that surprise you like your friends might say oh you're actually a really good communicator and you're like thinking well I never even knew that or your

friend's like oh you're really great at mediating between us when we're arguing and you didn't know that often when you don't know you have a skill you actually don't know how to use it well and that's what I find with manifesting whether

you're using manifestation to create negativity in your life or positivity knowing how it works makes sense so how did you start to piece together your you

know principles of manifestation how did you start to gather and say this is an important part of the process I think by the way I'll start by saying that this conversation is so important these

conversations and this one especially you know so I'm so fortunate to have this platform to talk about this and the reason it's so important to me is that because manifesting has become such a

trend I think it devalues it so much yeah and I'm so passionate about manifesting that I I get almost a bit upset I'm like no it's so incredible

it's such a full and fulfilling and meaningful practice and within it there is science and philosophy and wisdom and I think it can get a bad rep you know

from these like 30 second Tick Tock videos which maybe just are me are giving so many misconceptions around it but this really is like it isn't woo it

isn't mystical and actually my book in particular is for the Skeptics so like anyone who's a skeptic I challenge them to pick up the book and not feel better about their lives afterwards but how I

came up with the seven steps is honestly a terrible story I love it that's great that's awesome I um so when I had wolf I kind of really

was like I'm gonna who's my son I thought I'm gonna make this career for myself in being of service to others others I realized that that was my purpose it's what I'm here to do um and so the first I did a workshop I

used to watch like brene brown and I just love her and I and I saw her um called courage on Netflix I was like I want to do that I want to be on stage I want to inspire people so I thought

I'm just going to host my first workshop and it was a self-love workshop and 100 people came I couldn't believe it wow that's amazing where did they come from I had a really small community on

Instagram it was like I think like 20 000 followers it was good but it was small and I was really connected to them because I'm very open and vulnerable and they've kind of been on the journey with

me and so I said like I'm gonna do this and anyway you know I can't imagine you know what your first one was like but I remember just my legs like jelly before I stepped on stage but the moment I got on that stage I was like this is what

I'm here to do um so I did that Workshop it went well and so I was like okay I'm gonna do another one and so I said to my audience I said guys I've been following manifestation I've been learning about

it do you think I should do this and this was Jan 2020. and they were like yeah so I was like no I have to do a workshop and manifestation how am I going to

explain this practice there is so much to it so I just thought right I'm gonna put it in a step-by-step process so I went on a walk and I got out the notes on my phone and within five

minutes I had my seven steps to manifesting and I think it came so instinctively to me but I made this claim that I said everything you need to

know about manifestation is in these seven steps and then I panicked because I was like this is a big claim and what if people realize that things are not in these seven steps and when I would

listen to people talk I was like on the edge of my seat thinking I hope there's not something that's not in my seven steps but I actually found everything slotted in to one of these steps yeah

um and 100 people came to that Workshop in Jan 2020 and then in the pandemic hit I took them online 700 people were then on a webinar in Jan

2021 and by Jan 2022 it was a Sunday Times bestseller yeah so it was a really exciting journey and I still stand by these seven steps I live and breathe

them they are so practical accessible and easy for anyone to follow yeah no the reason I asked that was actually because when I looked through the seven steps I really appreciated that you got

into things like uh my favorite ones and I want to talk about a few of these but my favorite ones were step three align your behavior uh step six is probably without my favorite one out of all the

seven which is turn Envy into inspiration and even just the fact that you were considering Envy when you talk about manifestation I found that really interesting I was like oh yeah I've never heard someone to want

manifestation and go there and also you know you obviously talk about overcoming tests from the universe but it wasn't this it wasn't just about the universe there was just so many other

elements to it so let's dive into a few of these because I think I want to give people a sense of some of these steps and and we'll we'll dream and talk about it too but before we do that let's talk about some

of the misconceptions you mentioned so what are some of the big misconceptions that you are breaking and debunking the myths of manifesting in this book like what would

you say are your ones that stand out to you so the first one is definitely that vision manifesting is visualization that you can visualize your way to success or if you just think really hard about

something or you have a positive mindset it'll come to you um it's just simply not the case there's no such for hard work and you can think as hard as you want about something it

doesn't mean it's going to appear in your hands because this isn't Magic okay I always say it feels magical like I feel like this moment for me is magical

like this is incredible but it isn't I made it happen you know I did manifest it through act taking action and following the rest of the steps the other misconception I think is that it's

a ritual so I've done hundreds of interviews on manifesting and in nearly everyone I'll get asked you know um what can someone do every day to

manifest their partner as if there's one thing you can do like you can Journal before bed or you can do a visualization meditation and what these are these are rituals that

support your manifesting journey but manifesting is the self-development practice you live and breathe it everything you do is part of your manifestation practice like

the way you show up for yourself the boundaries you set the routines you have the habits you have everything matters these rituals are not manifestation

practices they are just supporting the process um and the other one is that you cannot manifest things that are totally out of

your control so sometimes I get asked Can you manifest winning the lottery I'm like no you can't because it's nothing to do with you yeah manifesting is about

becoming so empowered and so full of self-belief that you make things happen and in that it means that you can't manifest things that have absolutely nothing to do with you this isn't a game

of luck amazing I love those those are three you could tell that you've spent a lot of time thinking about these because those are three really great great answers on some of the biggest

challenges with manifesting and I get asked all those questions all the time too yeah I'm happy that you've done all the thinking in between for it uh being clear about our vision I think that's the one that gets talked about the most

when it comes to manifesting it was like be really clear be really specific you hear the old examples of Jim Carrey wrote himself a 10 million dollar check and then you know then he got I think it was Dumb and Dumber that he got a 10

million dollar check for you hear those stories of people who are really clear like specific about the amount specific about the person specific talk to me about your key tenets of being clear

about the vision and interestingly by the way this is the shortest chapter in the book yeah but it's the one that people spend the most on yeah um but it of course is important I mean from a

neuroscience point of view when we have these really clear goals and when we do visual rehearsal a lot we Prime the subconscious parts of our brain to reach that goal by filtering out unwanted information and seeking out

opportunities that aligned with them so I like this step and for its kind of ability to give us this

kind of opportunity to actually figure out what it is we want from life like who do we want to be what do we want our lives to look like but more importantly what do we want our lives to feel like

you know and I think that actually just giving ourselves that space be really vulnerable and open and step back and go do I want something different do I want

to be in a totally different industry do I want a different kind of relationship you know am I actually happy where I am now or not so I think it's a really it's you know creating a vision board I always say which you know is just

creating a visual representation of what you want your life to look like it's a really sacred experience it's why I encourage people to put them away um there's two camps on this some people love having their vision boards out

where you can see I think they should be put away because I think you have to be so vulnerable with your dreams you are not going to be really honest about what you want if you think your mom is going to walk in and see it on your wall or

your boyfriend's gonna see it on your screensaver um so having this kind of clarity foreign

bravery and courage to actually be honest about what you want is all really integral to this step um and I kind of practice a ritual that I like that supports this is a

visualization meditation for me I fall asleep every night to one every night um but yeah it's it's a it's a really simple first step and I just think it is about this kind of

clarity for yourself yeah I think that's a great answer I think so many times and that's why I knew I wanted to talk to you about manifesting because I feel so often in the manifestation World someone will say yeah well pick your goal like

what is it visualize it think and I'm like well actually it's so much more about what you said it's so much more about who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world and how you want to feel because when you ask that question you then

realize oh wait a minute is that thing gonna make me feel that probably not and so I'm I'm gonna reflect on this back for the audience with my journey and how

it makes sense so when I was after I'd left the monastery and I was working a corporate job so that I could pay my bills and take care of everything around 2015

end of 2014 beginning of 2015 I felt like that I felt I was doing good at a job that I didn't really see a future in but I knew that my purpose was to help people and serve

people and I was trying to do that on the weekends and evenings but there was only so many people I could connect with and there was only so many people I could touch because I didn't have that much time and energy and there was a

part of me that felt well I have to share this with more people and so that's when I started exactly what you're saying where I started looking into what will make me feel like I'm connecting to people I've already helped

a few people very deeply what is it that I'm looking for I'd already worked and coached a few people and gone all the way with them but I was like I want to touch more people and I want to be able to reach people who their company can't

afford this they're not doing this because they have to have a coach as a business it's like this is for anyone and everyone on the planet who can access it for free who's just like me as the kid in London who grew up with no

access to any of this but got lucky that I met the monks how do I read to that person and so I fully agree with you that it was in that moment that I decided what I wanted to feel and who I

wanted to be even though I had no idea what it looked like so if you ask me to describe where I am today which is still on the journey I would never have described any of this in any specificity

because I just didn't know and if anything my goal and my visualization was far more basic and limited but it was enough to get started does that feel Fair yeah I love that and I think that's

so important for people because one of my most asked questions is what if I don't know what I want and actually what you're saying is hey I didn't know the exact things I wanted but I did know

what I who I wanted to be and how I wanted to feel that is the best starting place and I think so important for anyone listening it's also feeling really lost and people often find this practice when they are feeling lost and

when you are it is really hard to have those specific goals yeah so you you know I think that's just such an important example to share thank you yeah no no no it's just as soon as I heard you say that I was putting myself

in this shoes and I I feel that I've never I've actually never been specific about numbers things those things have never been part of how

I've manifested it I'm not saying that's bad too I'm saying that's not been my Approach and my Approach is constantly being how do I use the gifts I've been given in the service of others like

that's always been like the kind of intention but moving away from that we have this idea of like you're saying people are not always uh clear about their goals they're not

always clear about what they want but then what usually hits is this fear and self-doubt and I remember going through that as well so I want to ask an interesting question about this when you're thinking about fear and

self-doubt I feel like this is the part where we spend a lot of time and most people get stuck in fear and doubt that they never start they never try something they never give it a go because they're worried about what their

parents will think they're worried about what their family will think of them they're worried about what their friends will say when you think about figuring out what is the root of what we're really struggling with in fear and doubt like

if you really have to think about that and go what is that the core of why fear and doubt is such a hard thing to overcome in the process of manifesting I always take a breath when I think about

fearing doubt because it's so overwhelming for so many of us and it was the hardest chapter to write I believe that I believe that because how do you even begin in one chapter to

describe how to begin that healing Journey I think that you know we're born into this world kind of full of confidence and self-love and you know I always look

at Wolf and he comes home he's obsessed with himself and I love it you know what I mean I mean he's adorable oh thank you from nurse you're like oh my God Mom

like you will never guess what I said to Oliver today like you not got that kind of like self-consciousness he thinks he should have everything he wants and rightly so I mean I am the biggest

pushover as well I'm like I'm definitely like making that much worse but I love that kind of like youthful confidence and belief that they are deserving of

everything but what happens is life like life happens to us and to varying extents we come to believe that we aren't enough that we aren't good enough

as we are and I mean my personal belief around this is that I think rarely do we actually get unconditional love from our parents and this isn't to blame our

parents but the love we receive actually is very conditional it's if you are good if you behave I will love you if you

misbehave if you show anger if you are upset if you are crying I will punish you and I will withdraw that love from you and so of course we're forming these

beliefs so early on that we must mold ourselves to please those around us our parents then our teachers and our peers and the people we grow up with and then

our partners and so when you're compounding those beliefs constantly throughout our lives when we then have this realization oh my gosh I have no

self-worth anymore it's really there's a big job ahead of you to start to undo all of that conditioning and come back to that bright

confident buoyance childlike self but I think that the trick is just to begin is to begin with from a place of compassion

we can kind of Judge ourselves for having the fear and doubt in the first place you know we can be like I wish I wasn't like this I wish I had more confidence I wish this and I think even

at that very first step it's being able to go hey I'm so sorry you know to you and your inner child I'm so sorry that you don't feel like this yet what can we

do how can we heal this and then finding ways that work for you to whether it's literally reprogramming your neural Pathways and reprogramming your belief

system or I mean just it starts to come into everything that we're doing into to changing how we feel about ourselves um and for me it's the most been the

most profound Journey I've ever been on you know for me to be able to sit here and say do you know what I really love who I am is something I am so grateful for and so grateful to manifestation for

um because I absolutely didn't think it was possible like I know many people listening or feel yeah we either put up a facade of confidence or we hide our insecurities or we try and find a way to

disguise the anxiety that we feel about ourselves in order to cope with the world outside of us and I think for me

I did that for many many years and when I started to feel like I wanted to walk this path the fear and doubt that came in was fear

of failure there was a doubt around if I had the skills or the ability and just overall I think my vision had shrunk and you're so right if someone

asked me in my teens if this would have been possible I would have said yes but if someone asked me my twenties I would have said no and so it's really interesting to see that Stark comparison if if you ask me as a

15 year old if anything could be possible I would I would have been much more broad-minded and at 24 I'd become much more small-minded because you start

thinking as to what's real and what's possible and you start also looking at the people around you and going well where have they got to and and then you start kind

of you know creating a little hierarchy yeah what we say the comparison the comparison of where I am I love what you're saying about getting back to that childlike exuberance and Vibrance I

think that is the core I think that's a great answer because I feel like that now too I'd say the happiest I think I feel now is that I think I still allow myself to be a kid

and that a kid in thought a kid in activity a kid in the idea of play the idea of treating work and businesses play the idea of not taking

it too overly seriously where it stops being an expression and starts to become you know too structured and of course there's there's times in which you have

to be the opposite so I get that as well you talk about self-care being a big part of that through that time when you talk about self-care and self-love again words that are so thrown around and just

so overused that they've lost their value how have you looked towards self-care and self-love through the process of fear and doubt and in a way that actually helps you through that

toughness so I started to realize early on that self-love was something that we could nurture in every decision we were making

from the minute we wake up to the minute we go to bed we have an opportunity to either boost our self-love and cultivate

it all the opposite and so I started to become very Mindful and using a lot of self-awareness to really look at every decision I was making

what time I was waking up if I was snoozing my alarm when I was saying no to things that I actually didn't want to do and when I was just saying yes to please others

um how I was eating how I was moving my body and this kind of awareness started to change everything that I was doing

and I realized that self-love was honoring where I am today and where I wanted to be tomorrow and by that I mean that you know in

making our decisions we need to be considering who we want to become where I wanted to be tomorrow what I wanted to manifest you know who I wanted to become and if my decisions were aligned with

that but also making sure that my decisions were honoring how I was feeling each day and so having that ability to kind of check in with myself so on days where I was feeling like superwoman you know when you wake up

you've got so much energy I knew on those days I could really push myself harder at work I could you know go harder in the gym whatever it was and on the days where I was waking up and I was

because look life is still stressful you know you're not going to learn to manifest and everything is perfect but on the days where I was waking up feeling flat or lethargic or just a bit

down or sad how could I honor that via rest recharge um getting an early night

saying no to social Arrangements because that would cause me more stress or making sure I you know finish my to-do list and so it was this constant balance of like checking in with how am I feeling today emotionally physically

mentally and where do I want to be tomorrow and what are my priorities for tomorrow and finding that balance and that for me is self-love and then within that is

self-care which is routines looking after me like I have found I am someone that you know I I work very hard I'm very busy

but I don't have like Boundless Energy I think some people and Instagram probably I don't know if like I had a warped Vision but I used to see people on Instagram that was so busy and they just

seem to have all this energy for all the time and I used to try and do that and I kept getting burnt out and ill and I would get the flu and my back would spasm and I realized that my body just

can't handle that level of adrenaline and stress for long durations so for me self-love and self-care was going right

I have to take breaks for doing things that will really make my body feel better that will calm down my nervous system meditation breath work

ice baths IV drips whatever it is for me that really helps me and that's self-care yeah no I I love what you said then I think the key word that that I was taking away was priorities and

prioritization I feel like that's one of the challenges with not just manifesting but life in general where it's like you're saying if I have a sense of priorities and then I need to rest the next day to get back to the priorities

but the problem is I think all of us have a lot of priorities and we have a lot of things that we want to happen at the same time and so it's like we want the amazing career at the same time we

want the amazing social life at the same time we want an incredible vacation at the same time we want eight hours of sleep every night and it's like I don't know anyone in the world like I you know

when I met my wife and and even now in in my life like my purpose is my priority and my wife and my relationship with there is a massive part of that but

but she knows that and and her purpose and her priority is her family and so we have these what some people would think of as competing priorities and I don't see them as competing I just see them as

priorities that are different and she knows that if there's a weekend and she has a choice to spend with her family or anyone else she'll choose her family and if I had the choice in a weekend to do my purpose or anything else I would

choose my purpose that's just always the way it's going to be and I think what's really interesting about that is when people see amazing or exciting things happening in your life it's like yeah

because this is all I care about like I don't I'm not prioritizing pretty much anything else and that's kind of like a scary mindset for people because people that's an intimidating mindset a scary

mindset because people go but I don't want to live like that and the truth is you don't have to live like that no one does but I find that if you don't want to live like that it's hard to create

progress in any area whether that's being a parent whether it's being a partner whether it's building a career whatever it may be so how does manifestation and priorities work

together do you feel that people want to manifest too many things are they too different is it do we need to be more focused how do you see that when it comes to manifestation

I think that you're right in that people kind of want to have it all at the same time all together but something's got to give we're not superhuman you know

there's only so much energy and time that we have and I think that having that Clarity on your purpose on your priorities um is key it's also why doing something

you love is so important because if people are going well I don't want to prioritize my work and have to give up my social life you know or have to give up this it's probably because you're not

really that passionate about the work by the way for some people they just want to have a job and that's totally fine which will pay them so that they can prioritize their social life that is a

good thing to know yes because then you're not thinking right you know I need to have a job that is this all-encompassing life purpose actually I

just want to leave at five I don't want to stress actually that's pretty awesome you know because they want to prioritize other things travel or whatever but I think

it's also really important for people to know that your priorities will change you don't need to get intimidated by this idea that you know if my priority

now is my career it has to be like that for the rest of my life my priority this week let's say right I'm here in America and I'm have these goals that I want to

manifest my priority right now is 100 communicating my message and inspiring as many people as I want which means I have not been out for dinner once right

I'm not with my son right now that is my focus I also know that as soon as I'm home my priority is my son and I have to take a step back from work to give that

the space it deserves and so I always see your priority as being like your best friend and what I mean is that you know when you go to your best friend to answer all your decisions so you'll go

hey what should I eat tonight or should I break up with my partner or whatever your priority is your decision maker it's your best friend so when you're trying to make a decision of

should I go to this party or should I you know let's say your priority is to feel really energized and healthy should I eat this candy whatever it is your priority is that decision maker for you

and that's really important with manifestation because it's helping you to constantly align your behavior with where you want to go and who you want to become so having those priorities gives

you that focus it helps you to make decisions but I think it's also really important to know that priorities are changing like they will change day to

day week to week um and we should just be allowed to like get comfortable with that but know that there needs to be some you can't prioritize Everything at Once yeah and

I'm happy to hear that because I think sometimes people's vision boards or they're manifesting is like every area at the same time and it can be challenging but I wanted to ask you this and I feel like you're the perfect

person to ask this to the idea of mom guilt with manifesting like you're just talking about your son there and like getting back to him and he's young how old is he now three and a half yeah three and a half he's so young

and it's like I'm sure you want to be back with him and I'm sure it's hard but you also have this Mission and I feel like that's it's such a wonderful thing to see someone trying to balance it and

trying to figure it out but I'm sure it's not easy and I'm sure you know I I grew up with a Powerhouse mum who uh made me breakfast and lunch and dinner

every day dropped me to school pick me back up did my homework with me and was the breadwinner of the family wow yeah I don't know how she did it and yeah she is a super one yeah she really is and

it's unbelievable and you know I think I just wish she also found work that she loved she's good at and she's downgraded it but there's a part of me that's also like well if she loved her job too and it

fulfilled her and she had time it would have been amazing but having been the son of a a superwoman and seen an incredible mom and having such a great role model in my life

like for you how do you balance do you ever experience mom guilt because you're traveling you're on the road you're out there and how do you manage it with but I'm also manifesting the life I I want for

myself and my son like I just want to hear how that goes through in your head do you know and I don't know if this is going to be a very popular answer but I don't really experience mum girl I love that how um

because I know I I really believe I'm a really good mum and I believe I'm a good mom because I do give wolf unconditional love and space to be whoever he wants to

be and as a parent that's all we can do is be as good as parents as we can be we're not trying to be perfect parents like I'm still

I'm still Roxy I'm so many things I'm a multifaceted human being a mom is one of those I mean it of course is the most important thing but it's not all that I

am and I know that I'm giving wolfy this unconditional love safety I'm trying to create you know a life not just for me but for him as well and you know what he

is the happiest little boy so I'm clearly doing something right and I'm very lucky that Wade is an incredible dad I know that he you know wolf is

never apart from being in preschool he's never with anyone other than Mia Wade so I know that he's like in safe hands and he seems fine you know when I like

honestly before I was going to America so Wade's taken him to Australia for three weeks and I did start feeling really panicky I was feeling quite anxious like I can't believe I'm gonna leave him I'm not

going to see him for three weeks like I'm missing this special time and you know I would say day to day I'm not like a needy mom like I don't I'm

not like overly attached like in an unhealthy way because like you know wolf is not mine he's not my possession he's my son I'm here to guide him

um but he's a very affectionate little boy just for context he's very affectionate loves cuddles loves kisses like he's so cute anyway the day I was leaving he could obviously sense my

neediness and anxiety and he refused to hug me I was like baby I'm not gonna see you for three weeks and give your mommy a hug he was just like it was almost like he was like Mom you're making it

much can you just back off and every time I tried to FaceTime him for the last two weeks he's like I am having too much fun like I'm fine and so he's happy I'm happy

um and at the end of the day I'm always going to be here for him and I'm thriving as much as I can he's thriving wherever he is and I think that

I hope that in sharing that it will give other mums permission to be okay with not feeling guilty because I almost think that sometimes we have we feel guilty if we don't feel guilty

like I felt that I thought is there something wrong with me that I don't have this awful mom girl totally yeah I imagine that yeah but actually I'm pleased that I don't and I hope that it

will encourage other mums to be okay with prioritizing themselves you know our children are learning from what we do not what we say and we know that and if we are showing them that we respect

ourselves that we honor ourselves that we want the best for ourselves they are going to respond to that and learn from that and it's a really important example to give yeah I think that's I love

hearing that it's refreshing and the part that I was extrapolating from that was that it sounds like you've defined at least internally what you believe it

means to be a good mum for yourself for you for Roxy who you are and if you have that definition then you can live up to that now I may have a definition of what

a good mum is and obviously I I I'm saying this hypothetically but it's a if someone was to compare their definition to mine or mine to theirs or X to Y the problem is

you can start adding a lot of pressure to your play and as you said often get the pressure of well I have to be everything and and anything and when I was reading your book you have this

beautiful uh dedication to Wolf which is for my son wolf be whoever you want to be and and I love that and I was thinking when you changed your name it sounds

like that was a moment where you were becoming who you wanted to be how did your parents respond to that like how did they how did your family or extended family feel about you changing your name

you know I think I was so headstrong even as a child that my parent for me it wasn't like I was asking my parents I was like this is what I'm doing and I have to do it um my I'm the youngest of four my

brothers and sisters just you know mocked me obviously that's what older brother sisters do uh they thought it was ridiculous that I was now Roxy and they still don't call me Roxy they all

call me Rowan um but I love that um but yeah they they didn't try to stop me which I think was really nice you know and I think that's important and I do feel like a Roxy and

I love it when people say I love your name I'm like thank you I chose it but yeah why Roxy where did it come from oh I don't know I was with a friend and we were like what should we what should we

choose and then it was that or rocky I'm glad I chose but we changed it to an ie because I didn't want to be like the surf brand yeah the offense to the surf brand but I wanted something unique yeah

and I love I I think that's really important because so much of who we are is not chosen by us at the beginning of our lives and then it's important that we start

choosing so the beginning of your life so much is chosen for you and as we get older we only truly become who we are and who we want to be if we start choosing that

and choosing your name is is quite a big identity shift it's not small yeah and choosing it as a kid is really hard because like you said he could have ended up as Rocky right yeah we should have been here

can you imagine that it would have been a very different life yeah isn't that weird yeah like if you and also I kind of for a time I felt you know in my line your behavior I talk about kind of

stepping into the character of yourself and I guess for some time Roxy gave me this character of someone I wanted to be like I wanted to be more confident I

wanted to feel like I was included in school and so it gave me this kind of space to do that eventually it's just become who I am but you know there was always in that time when I was in my

teens it was like Roxy was the social me and Rowan was the me at home and I kind of liked that you know in a way but now it's merged into one for me my identity

became class Rebel Class Clown you know the bad the bad kid in school not imagine that it was really bad if you if you speak to any of my friends from the

age of 15 to 18 they would just be like this is Jay's a totally different human today like not not in the sense of how I am with people just what I was into and

that was the part where I was struggling where in my heart I've always been the same person I am today it's just I didn't think that for a long time I didn't believe that vulnerability was strength or I didn't

feel that love was good or that I didn't feel that serving others was aspirational because that wasn't rewarded around me so what was rewarded

around me was who's a rebel who's a clown who's who can get away with stuff like that was what was rewarded as or praised by your Social Circle and so

then I was just pretending to be someone that I wasn't even though it felt so uncomfortable uh which when we come to aligning your behavior I think that's half the issue where

my behavior when I was a teen was aligned with a reality or a truth that I would never have subscribed to like if you said to me Jay this is what you're actually doing and I think we don't we

don't really look at what our Behavior aligns with we kind of just go with it and we think it's us when you talk about aligning your behavior where are the common mistakes that we make when

aligning our Behavior because and this is what I think ultimately goes back to the first point you made where you said that we have to know who we want to be and I think when we talk about manifesting we don't I think

people talk about what their goal is yeah so someone wants to manifest making a billion dollars right making this up someone's hypothetical example aligning their behavior means doing anything to

be able to make a billion dollars like you're ready to do anything because the goal wasn't set from a place of knowing who you want to be so now it's about getting something which means you're

pretty open to any Behavior yeah does that make sense so talk to us about going back to who you want to be in aligning your behavior with that I feel like how does someone think about who

they want to be in a healthy way because I think Society is programmed us to say you want to be a podcaster we want to be an author you want to be a billionaire

like the word that follows B is rarely who that's what you want to do that's not who you want to be so true so true yeah and I guess it is you know it's

about with who you want to be it's for me that means kind of how you want to show up to the world what values are important to you what

relationships you have um how you want to feel within yourself how much Integrity you have um for me for example I really wanted to

be someone who was really confident in themselves and confident in being a kind person so it's really interesting that you touched on that but being kind

wasn't cool right at school the people that were cool were the ones who were a bit nasty who mocked other people even when we would watch TV shows you know

all the cool kids were kind of the mean ones and even like if you would look at like in the pr and fashion world like the mean people were kind of glamorized

and I've always been quite a gentle I think really nice person and that was something that I used to be quite ashamed of in a way and I used to think that people would just look down on me

because of that quality and so for me I wanted to be able to just really be authentic in my kindness and go hey I actually really like that

I'm sweet to people and I'm not going to judge myself for it I want to be someone that thrives in it that loves myself for that quality and I know that the right tribe will come to me for that

and I think it comes back to this point you made earlier about when you were talking about fear and doubt you said you know there is so much worry about external validation and in

the manifesting process one really important thing is that you have to be able to let go of the need for approval

from others energy is directional you cannot be constantly focusing on what other people want from you while simultaneously focusing on who you want

to become you can't go both ways and I describe it like this I actually describe it like this in my next book but imagine you're running a race and you

want to get to the Finish Line if you're running this race and you're looking over at the person next to you to see how far they're going or you want to see if they're looking at you you're going

to trip and fall you have to stay completely razor sharp with razor sharp focus on your own lane on your own Journey on your own alignment on who you want to be and for

that we have to be able to live knowing that and being okay with the fact that not everybody is going to like us it has been the most liberating thing

for me to understand that I don't need to be liked by everyone you know as I'm growing and spreading my message some people are gonna love me others are going to find me really annoying they're

not gonna like what I say they're not gonna like how I say it and that is okay and one thing that helped me be okay with it and I hope will help some

listeners be okay with it is that nobody on Earth is universally liked when I realize that everything changed if I look at my best friends uh people I

Inspire that inspire me in the media celebrities I love as many people love them there are others who can't stand them absolutely and that was really reassuring for me I was like hey these

people that I love have people that don't like them and hey it's the same for me as well and that let it like it Set Me Free it Set Me

Free and it gave me the space to be myself and in that I was able to let go of this need for external validation and this constant desire to be what other

people wanted me to be and actually just be who I am and as soon as I did that everything started aligning the universe that is supporting me and

I felt like you know I said in the beginning this isn't Magic but it feels magical I feel like my life is magical because not because there aren't

stresses that I have to overcome but but because I'm living in true alignment with who I am yeah I I love that phrase of it's not magic but it feels magical

because I think that's the issue with manifestation that's always been presented is magical and in that way and like you're saying that the actual

method is not magical the method is structured and there's a process and there's a system and then the result is magical and and that really aligns with me I I really really

I've never heard anyone say that before and I really love that like it really resonates and and I can say the same for me like I feel like I live a miracle every day but I know the process isn't

that and I want to talk a bit about that that part of aligning the behavior is getting good at doing things when you don't want to do them I'm getting good at things that you may not have wanted

to get good at like I think people feel that people who manifest their ideal life they wake up and they do only what they want for 24 hours in a day I don't think that's fully true and I think I

felt misled for a long time where I was like yeah I love what I do and I realized I do love what I do but I also do a lot of what I don't love doing in order to do more of what I love to do

and and I feel like that's where a lot of people leave the journey because you start doing what you love so I started making content which I loved and sharing this message and speaking on stages and

then all of a sudden I had to think about building teams and organizing and growing which wasn't stuff that I would say I love doing compared to doing this but I had to learn that in order to

serve the greater Mission and I realized if I have to learn something in order to serve my mission in manifesting then that's part of the manifesting that

isn't excluded because I don't enjoy it does yeah where does that sit with you on 100 and it's why because being clear and your vision is so important yeah because it's giving you that reason that

why why you're doing the things that you don't enjoy necessarily or that aren't your favorite part of the process but you're doing them anyway because of this greater thing and you know I think that

we kind of I don't know if you agree but there is an aversion to discomfort like we are always trying to like avoid not always and not everyone but we can

try to avoid things that feel uncomfortable hard work things that we don't want to do because our brain is always trying to keep us like as safe

and happy as possible and it's also you know a lot of that is also coming from a place of fear as well like that can't go unsaid but and I know this kind of phrase is some people don't like it but

I do believe that part of self-love is self-discipline it's be a there's a you know there's a fine line between giving yourself compassion and space to like be gentle with yourself and give

yourself space to like experience the whole spectrum of emotions then sometimes we do need to just go hey you need to finish doing your account even though it's really boring and even though it makes you feel like your

brain's going to explode but you need to do them because it's part of this greater picture and it's going to get you closer to where you want to go and it's also the same with any time you have an opportunity to step outside your

comfort zone you know to take risks to do things despite the fear of being rejected or the fear of failure or whatever it is and the more that we can

we train our brain to find this motivation and commitment to going beyond what we feel is comfortable you

know that's where we see the real growth um I always say like there's a great quote which is nothing changes if nothing changes but I also love you know I say in my book is if you want to see

and create change in your life you have to be the change like you are the driving force behind everything you talk about Envy in your book and I find Envy fascinating because The Vedas talk a lot

about it which are the books I studied as a monk I've I've found Envy to be one of the most interesting emotions it's it's fascinating as an emotion to me to have to figure out where is it coming

from what's it doing and you talk about in the book how you turn Envy into inspirational or that's what you recommend in manifesting what is Envia representation of for you

and and how have you made sense of it when you talk about turning into inspiration yeah so I think this is a really important important step for all of us so Envy comes from this scarcity

mindset that there's not enough to go around so if you have something it's potentially less for me and it's coming from this place of fear so I always say

Envy is fearing doubt in disguise what often happens is that we are constantly trying to deny ourselves of our Envy we don't want to admit when we're feeling it whenever I'm in a

workshop and I talk about Envy you could hear a pin drop because nobody wants to like give away that they've ever felt Envy before you know there's so much shame around it you know it's

definitely you know look at the Disney film that's like the green eyed monster you know they're always the villains are the envious ones and when we don't

kind of admit our Envy we pass it on often as judgment or criticism of others so true so we see a confident person walk through the door and we go oh they're so full of themselves

or we see a couple kind of you know kissing on the street oh get a room we're constantly passing this judgment of other people and I think that it's just Envy coming out and so at the very

first step what I really encourage people to do is just start to take ownership of it look out for any time you're judging or criticizing others and seeing is this really a sign that I'm

feeling envious of something that they have or something that they're doing also when you know you know we there are times where the Envy is just blatant like your friend gets a job promotion

and you wanted that job promotion or you know if you see someone getting engaged and you're really you know waiting for your partner to propose then it's more obvious but either way when we notice that Envy or we you know realize that

we've been judging someone and we've been disguising it yes I am feeling envious that's okay there's nothing wrong with that it's not making me a bad person but what is this showing me it's

showing me that something still needs healing within me whether that's an insecurity or just a real doubt that there is enough for everybody to go around

to then take it further we can turn that and transform it into inspiration inspiration is the antithesis of Envy it says that there is enough for us all it comes from a really abundant mindset

what you have something and I can have it too and I truly believe there is an abundant of Love success happiness and money in the universe for us all

and so what I encourage people to to do constantly is try to get into this habit of turning that envious thought of feeling first by owning it and being compassionate around it and then

transforming it into inspiration so for example if you see someone getting married and you're going oh my God everybody's getting married around me I'm so jealous you can transform it to

isn't this another beautiful representation of love I can't wait to have that for myself when the time is right so we always have this opportunity to transform this very low vibrational

feeling of envy and turn it into something that is high vibrational that is more empowering that feels better and it's why you know supporting each other

celebrating each other is so important that's awesome I'm so glad we talked about that because yeah I find that Envy can also be the biggest block to manifesting because if

you ultimately after doing all these steps at step six are feeling envious of others it it just takes all of that high vibrational energy back to low vibrational energy and it's Envy's one of those like

I know there's there's all these new thoughts about you know Envy's a sign of what you really want and things like that I'm I'm not fully in agreement of that like I don't I don't think that I often think that our Envy just exists

much more broadly uh if you have narrow Envy in an industry or space you're probably luckier generally we can feel envious of lots of different people for lots of different things because we don't know our own values when you know

your values you'll only be envious of people in your value space and that's helpful as a start but you're so right that yeah if you if you find yourself falling into the Envy it's not even what

you share with others it's holding that bitterness within your own heart and mind horrible it's horrible like it's just it's just so polluting and letting go of it and for me what's really helped

is again again getting really clear on what you said that if I'm doing my thing it really doesn't matter what anyone

else is doing and it won't have that someone else's moves don't influence mine and someone else's wins and losses don't influence your mind and I think it's also this is what I wanted to get

to it's also the other way around sometimes Envy is you can't enjoy someone else's wins but sometimes Envy

is you deeply enjoy someone's losses yeah so when someone loses you take joy in it and someone wins you don't care but when you take joy in someone's loss

I I see this in the news every day like when people get divorced and we're like oh we knew they'd get divorced we told you so uh someone loses a game and we're like oh you're the worst player of all time like we take so much joy in other

people's loss or in other people's failure or supposed failure and we don't realize that when that same thing happens to us we're gonna treat

ourselves the same way now God forbid you go through something similar that you condemned online you're going to condemn yourself through that whole process rather than giving yourself

compassion in space it's so true I I similarly I always say that every time you're judging someone else you are like compounding and building this fear that

other people are judging you yeah and that you will then judge yourself more so actually the less we do it for other people the less we find joy in other people's losses and the less we find ourselves judging and criticizing others

actually the less we'll do it to ourselves or fear that other people will do it to us as well so I think it's a really really important one to talk

about and I think you know personally it's something that's really empowered me to manifest because like you say of course it's a big block

because if I was you know when my book came out I'm going into this you know into having a career in the self-help you know industry let's call it if I was

thinking oh my gosh no there's so many successes the Jay Shetty is like he's got millions of followers and I'm never going to be that big and if I started

having that I would be totally blocking myself right but we're all on the same Mission we are all here to help people and inspire people and for every coach

healer author out there there are thousands of people wanting to learn yes and who listens and hears my message and takes it in yeah is supposed to be in my

tribe but I'm like I said I'm not for everyone and so for other people they'll hear you speak and that will resonate way more with them or they'll hear another coach speak or another speaker

another author and that's great yeah because we're all we're all on the same Mission and that's an abundant mindset and that's why I can look at you and brene brown and Tony robbers and anyone

in this world and go that is so inspiring I love seeing people help other people yeah exactly and I think you identified it perfectly there it's the real question is

are we here for the healing are we here for us and and that's really the question and if you're really in it for the healing then anyone who's a Healer you'll appreciate them even if their

healing style is different but that sign that sign is so clear when you're like oh yeah I don't like the way they're doing it don't like the way I don't agree with them or they're not and that's it just creates fractions and fractures internally as well so I'm so

glad you brought that up too it's beautiful and I think as you were talking I was piecing a thought together and it's this idea of how Comfort creates self-care

but discomfort creates self-respect I love that yeah and it just hit me while you were talking and I was thinking that

discomfort has actually brought me so much more than comfort and now I appreciate comfort more because I know I can get

into discomfort when I need to and so the self-respect that comes from discomfort create such a confidence and a Swagger

and an energy that then you cradle with Comfort when you need to yeah as opposed to when you've only cuddled and comforted the whole time it's really

hard to then have that feeling of self-respect so every time I go through something tough I'm like God I did that like every time I break through something I'm like I can do hard things like I can do really tough stuff and

that builds self-respect and self-respect is what I need in order to function in life to build self-worth in order to have self-belief does that yeah

oh I love that I love that and I think you're absolutely right I mean there's no better feeling than doing something that you thought you couldn't or being able to have that mindset you know even little things like little things like

for me in my ice bath yesterday six minutes I was like this is so hard yeah I was like I'm so cold ah and I just like tapped into that kind of

mental strength I was like discomfort is okay and afterwards I felt so proud of myself and it's quite similar to self-trust I always say like follow through with things that you say you're

gonna do because that builds self-trust which again impacts that self-worth that self-esteem that self-confidence you know the every time we say to ourselves I'm not gonna drink tonight and then you

go out and drink you're losing that self-trust or when you say I'm gonna finish that you know assignment today and then you don't you're losing that self-trust but when you actually do

things like you know push through discomfort or you follow through with things that you get you say you're going to do you're building self-discipline self-respect self-trust and all these

things combined is what is making you feel more empowered more confident and in that empowerment you take steps that you never thought were possible to live

a dream that you feel so proud of yeah absolutely and it's doing what what's really hitting me right now with with what you're saying is that it's doing hard things that are meaningful to you

the challenges a lot of us are doing hard things that are not meaningful for us so when you break through something hard that's not meaningful to you it doesn't feel great and so I do believe

people are doing hard things every day I do believe people are working hard every day I do believe that people are struggling every day but often it's towards something that isn't important

to them and so if we can find a way to do hard things that are meaningful to us that can unlock a whole new mindset and totally make it easy to manifest yeah

Brett's I was talking to someone about it yesterday there is this kind of feeling there that life is hard and it should be hard but in the wrong ways yes right you know whereas this is like what

we're talking about something very different it's a like and I just really resonated with that that it is about working hard for these things are meaningful yeah well it's what you said earlier and I love that that's where you

start with just being clear about your values and knowing what you want and not wanting something because someone else thinks it's cool like I do think that there are there's a mindset in the world where it's like it's cool not to care

and then right and then there's a mindset the other way where it's like it's cool to really care it's like and it's like both are fine but just choose which one you want to be like you know it doesn't like some people like oh it's

cool not to care about what you wear yeah and some people like no it's cool to care about you what you wear neither is right or wrong yeah but most of us subscribe to one because of what people around us think as opposed to that's how

I want to be yeah and and I think that that's the freeing element of all of this it's like how many decisions can you make in your day that were made because they were decisions you wanted

to make not because someone wanted you to make them not because someone forced or influenced you but that you knew they were right for you that that's really what we're talking about absolutely so I

couldn't agree more yeah yeah Roxy it has been so fun talking to you you uh are you're definitely a kind warm wonderful person in person too so and

that we both found the courage to become ourselves in public because when you said that too I can resonate with that so deeply where even for years I was just like yeah I you know you have to

kind of play this role that you don't want to play and I'm so glad I let go of that I'm so glad you did too yeah but for everyone who's been listening I want you to go out and grab a copy of manifest seven steps to living your best

life by Roxanna fousey please do not uh miss out on grabbing this book the seven steps we talked about a few of my favorite ones today there's so many more and I'm hoping Roxy will come back uh

for her next book uh but please do grab this please do use it use it practically use it as a workbook not just a reading book uh because that's what it's built

to do and Roxy we end every on-purpose episode with a final five yeah uh so I hope you haven't been practicing too much no I haven't I've Just In This Moment yeah you did did you do the first

film with Alex Cooper no no we've done final five forever but that I'm gonna do it what was the thing okay good all right so Roxy these are your final five question number one what is the best

manifestation advice you've ever received or heard that we manifest what we subconsciously believe we are worthy of receiving hmm great answer all right second question what is the worst

manifesting advice you've ever heard or received that if you think about something hard enough it will appear for you number three is how would you define

your current purpose to help and Inspire others to find The Light Within them beautiful I love that uh so clear all these answers

uh question number four is I love that you talked about keeping your uh vision board like private and sacred and like more internal like where do you keep it

do you do it on a on a board a pad a journal like what's what's your way I have the most basic vision board like you have ever seen for someone that talks so much about manifesting is

actually quite embarrassing I have really terrible handwriting firstly I'll say you'll see on your side book but um I get like an A4 piece of card and I

write in felt it brilliant I love it and that's it y'all show you because I'm gonna send you a picture it's just felt tip pen bullet points of everything I'm not a very visual person in terms of like I don't like using the magazines

and stuff like that it's just bullet points to the point all the words all the things I want I kind of put some headers on it that's it and then I tuck

it on the floor under my wardrobe I love it that's brilliant that's fantastic that's great uh Fifth and final question if you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow what would

it be I would love if there was a ban on bitching about other people like I just think it's so toxic for ourselves because if there wasn't that we wouldn't

have this constant fear of what other people think and then we would all be living in alignment so yeah that's a great answer yeah if we had the ability to evaluate and assess what people were

doing and saying as opposed to yeah directly going into that negativity yeah yeah I love that uh ever on the book again it's called manifest seven steps to living your best life uh make sure you go and order your coffee now Roxy

thank you so much for doing this oh thank you it's been such a joy talking to you I've Loved I've made so many great connections in this conversation which is what I count as a good conversation so you've inspired me in so many ways and so many ideas that came

out and I'm so grateful that you're doing the work you're doing thank you so much for thank you leading this path to redefining manifesting thank you and uh everyone is watching or listening make sure you tag Roxy and I on Instagram on

Twitter on any social media platform you use on Tick Tock share your highlights from this interview uh if there are any Clips or any insights that stood out to you please pass them along and make sure

you share this with a friend and start manifesting thank you for listening and I'll see you next week on on purpose if you want one you know that you can now get my

book think like a monk from think like a monkbook.com check Below in the description to make sure you order today