The hard truth about making your dreams come true | Mel Robbins

no one's coming to push you no one's coming to tell you to turn the TV off no one's coming to tell you to get out the

door and exercise the bottom line is no

one's coming no one you may or may not have seen the TED talk that I gave a few years ago one of the things that

surprised me the most about that talk is that we hear from people around the world that write about one segment in particular and let me play that segment for you because it sets up the

conversation for today and it's this concept of parenting yourself when you

become 18 nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself and by parent yourself I mean it's your

job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do so you can be everything that you're supposed to be

and you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it and you're never going to my son never feels like getting off his DS that's my job

get off the damn vs Kendall clean up the Barbies if you're gonna have a nude party in my bathroom at least clean it

up God chew with your mouth closed we're on a barn for crying out loud all right

dinners coming get out of the pantry as parents and you were a kid your parents make you do the things you don't feel

like doing because you won't ever not now not then not ever and even when you get good at something you'll figure out something else you don't want to do and

then you'll plateau out and you'll get boring I hate this Jeff this is boring yeah but will you look for now you'll just about that one it's very very

simple to get what you want but it's not easy Wow you know that talk was six years ago I cannot believe how little my kids back then and I also hate watching it

because that was the first time I had ever given a speech so my voice is like really screechie and I swear which I typically don't do on stage ever so

Wolfe anyway this concept of parenting yourself is really really important for you to wrap your brain around and let me dig into it just a little bit I write extensively in part two of the

five-second rule book about how we make decisions and the fact that we make decisions not based on what we know we need to do not based on our goals but

based on how we feel right now it's your feelings that make the decision for you it's one of the reasons why parents are so important for kids because if we let it up to kids to do whatever they felt

like doing they'd never go to school they'd never do their homework they'd never used their manners they've never learned to eat correctly they'd never do anything they just sit around and watch TV all day that's the job of a parent

what most of us don't realize though and this is what I was alluding to in the TED talk is that when you become 18 when you move out of the house when you're an

adult you have to parent yourself here's the rub you're never ever ever ever going to feel like doing the things you

need to do in order to have what you want you're always going to need to push yourself you're always going to need to parent yourself so what is the net

advice on this what what is the bottom line the bottom line is no one's coming no one no one's coming to push you no

one's coming to tell you to turn the TV off no one's coming to tell you to get out the door and exercise nobody's coming to tell you to apply for that job that you've always dreamt about nobody's

coming to write the business plan for you it's up to you and because you're only ever gonna do the things that you feel like doing right now or that feel

good right now unless you understand that you've got to parent yourself you got to push yourself you're not gonna make your dreams come true you're just not we're not wired that way

you're born that way you weren't that way when you're going up and you're certainly not that way as an adult and there's a tremendous amount of liberation that comes when you accept the fact that

you're always going to need to give yourself a push

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