The Psychology of People Who Treat Their Pets Like Their Children

Look at your phone. Look at your camera roll. What do you see? Is it selfies? Is

roll. What do you see? Is it selfies? Is

it photos of your lunch? Or [music] is it hundreds, maybe thousands of photos of a creature that isn't human?

Look around. We have strollers for dogs.

We have birthday parties for cats. We

have people who will proudly say, "I don't want kids. [clears throat] I have my dog.

Some people laugh at this. They think

[music] it's silly.

They think it's just people playing pretend.

But it's not pretend.

Psychologically, the brain does [music] not know the difference. When you look at your pet and you feel that rush of love, your body is releasing the exact same chemicals it would release [music]

if you were looking at your own human child. We are not just pet owners

child. We are not just pet owners anymore. We are parents to a different

anymore. We are parents to a different species. But why?

species. But why?

Why are we doing this now? Is it just because they are cute? Or is it because we are lonely?

The answer is much deeper.

We treat them like children because they offer us the one thing human children can never give us. A love that never grows [music] up, never judges, and

never leaves.

Today we are going to look at why your brain treats [music] them like children.

Why that is actually a sign of high emotional intelligence and why [music] this relationship might just be the most honest one you will ever have.

Let's start with the most obvious reason, the concept of the forever child. If you have a human child, your

child. If you have a human child, your job is to raise them to leave you.

That is the hard truth of parenting.

You teach them to walk so they can walk [music] away.

You teach them to talk so they can argue with you. You raise them to become

with you. You raise them to become independent adults who eventually won't need you [music] anymore. But a pet, a pet is the child that never leaves.

[music] For people who have a deep fear of abandonment, or for people who need to feel needed, a pet is the perfect solution.

They will never pack their bags and move to college. They will never get married

to college. They will never get married and forget to call you.

They stay in that toddler phase forever.

They always [music] need you to feed them. They always need you to help them.

them. They always need you to help them.

They always want to be near you.

This creates a sense of permanent safety for the owner.

You don't have to worry about the relationship changing. [music] It is

relationship changing. [music] It is frozen in time.

It is a bond that is safe from the pain of growing [music] apart.

Have you ever looked at your dog or cat and felt a sudden overwhelming wave of aggression?

a feeling like you want to squeeze [music] them or bite them or you just can't handle how cute they are. That is

called cute aggression and it is your brain trying to regulate an overdose [music] of love. But why do we feel it?

It's because of a concept called neotini.

Humans are hardwired to protect babies.

Evolution installed a code in us. If it

has big eyes, a round forehead, a small nose, and clumsy movements, you must keep it alive. This is the baby schema.

Human children [music] grow out of this.

They get lanky. Their features sharpen.

They stop looking [music] like helpless infants.

Your pet never grows out of it. A dog, a cat, even a rabbit. They are

biologically designed to remain [music] in a permanent state of baby.

When you look at them, your brain releases oxytocin, the exact same hormone that bonds a mother to her newborn. This isn't a metaphor. If we scan your brain while

metaphor. If we scan your brain while you look into your dog's eyes, the chemical signature is nearly identical to a parent looking at their child. So,

when you call yourself a mom or a dad to your pet, you aren't roleplaying.

You are describing [music] the chemical reality of your blood.

You're a parent because your brain has decided you're one.

But biology is only the hardware. Let's

talk about the software. Let's talk

about attachment theory. In human

relationships, attachment is complicated. Children grow up. They

complicated. Children grow up. They

learn [music] to speak. They learn to judge. They learn to say, "I hate you.

judge. They learn to say, "I hate you.

They leave for college. They form their own lives.

Human parenting is a process of letting go.

Pet parenting is a process of holding on.

For the person who treats their pet like a child, this animal represents something [music] that human children cannot. The eternal innocent. Your pet

cannot. The eternal innocent. Your pet

will never [music] become a teenager who slams the door. They will never criticize your career choices. They will

never move to another city and forget to call. Psychologically, the fur baby

call. Psychologically, the fur baby offers a secure base without the risk of rejection. If you are someone who has

rejection. If you are someone who has experienced abandonment, [music] or if you are someone who finds the complexity of human relationships exhausting, the pet is the antidote.

It is a relationship frozen in the honeymoon phase of parenting. It is the joy of nurturing without the pain of separation.

You are drawn to this dynamic not because you are avoiding [music] reality but because you are seeking a safe harbor. You are creating a bond that is

harbor. You are creating a bond that is unbreakable by time or maturity.

You are choosing a child who will need you, [music] love you, and stay with you until the very end. A pet offers simple love. This is a massive draw for [music]

love. This is a massive draw for [music] people who have high anxiety or who deal with a lot of stress in their daily lives. When you come home to your

lives. When you come home to your [music] fur baby, you don't have to explain your day. You don't have to apologize for being tired. You don't

have to pretend to be happy. They just

want you exactly as you are. Maybe you

felt judged by your own parents. Maybe

you feel judged by society. But your

dog, your cat, they think you are a god.

This is why we spoil them. This is why we cook them special meals and let them sleep in [music] the bed. We are

rewarding them for making us feel safe.

We are giving them the best life possible because they give us the only place in the world where we [music] are enough.

Now let's look at you, the human.

Who are you really?

Society likes to paint the pet parent as someone who fills a void. The crazy cat lady, the couple who couldn't have kids.

This is a lazy analysis. The truth is, [music] people who treat pets like children are often highcapacity nurturers.

You have a surplus of caregiving [music] energy. You are likely the person in

energy. You are likely the person in your friend group who makes sure everyone got home safe. You're the one who remembers birthdays.

You're the one who worries. For the

millennial and Gen Z generations, this is even more [music] profound.

The world is expensive. The future is uncertain. Traditional milestones like

uncertain. Traditional milestones like buying a house or having a human family feel out of [music] reach for many. But

the nurturing instinct, the need to take care of something doesn't just go away.

It is still there.

It needs a place to go.

So the pet becomes the recipient of all [music] that energy.

They are not a replacement in a bad way.

They are an alternative. They allow

people to have a family without the crushing weight of modern [music] financial stress. They allow you to be a

financial stress. They allow you to be a caregiver without giving up your entire freedom.

They are the light version of parenthood [music] that fits into a busy modern life. This is you claiming your [music]

life. This is you claiming your [music] identity as a caregiver.

You are saying, "I have love to give and I will give it to the creature that appreciates it the most." And for many, that bond is just as real and just as

important as a blood relation. It is a family chosen, not born.

There is another layer here, a darker one. It's about control. Raising a human

one. It's about control. Raising a human is messy.

You can [music] do everything right and things can still go wrong. They make

their own choices. But with a pet, you have almost total control.

You choose what they eat. You choose

where they go. You choose who they play with. And for people who feel like their

with. And for people who feel like their own lives are out of control, maybe your job is chaotic or the world feels scary, raising a pet perfectly becomes a way to

cope.

You see this in the owners who are obsessed [music] with the perfect diet for their dog or the ones who have a strict schedule for their cat. They are

channeling all their anxiety into caring for this creature. It feels good to be the master of a small world. It feels

good to know that you can keep this one living thing happy and healthy even if the rest of the world is falling apart.

Just like we analyze the animals, we need to analyze the types of pet parents.

Because not all of you are doing this for the same [music] reason. Which one

are you?

The guardian. The anxious [music] protector.

You are the one who doesn't trust the dog walker. You have cameras in your

dog walker. You have cameras in your house to watch them while you're at work. You worry if [music] they sneeze.

work. You worry if [music] they sneeze.

Psychology says you're likely a person with high empathy but also [music] high anxiety.

Your pet is your external heart.

When they are safe, you are safe. When

they are vulnerable, you feel exposed.

You treat them like a child because you know how fragile life is. You are a protector of the innocent. [music]

Your love is fierce, vigilant, and all-consuming.

the soulmate, the deep bonder.

You don't just take care of them, you talk to them. You feel like they understand your words. You prefer a Friday night with your dog to a night

out with friends.

Psychology says you are seeking intellectual and emotional intimacy.

You treat them like a child, but also like a partner. You value authenticity.

Humans force you to wear a mask. Your

pet allows you to take it off. You are

likely [music] an introvert, a thinker, someone who values deep, quiet connection over superficial noise.

The redeemer, the healer.

Maybe you [music] rescued them. Maybe

they were broken, scared, or sick when you found them and you fixed them.

Psychology says you are a restorer. By

saving them, you're often healing a part of yourself. Every time [music] you show

of yourself. Every time [music] you show them kindness, you're proving that the world can be good.

You treat them like [music] a child because you want to give them the childhood you perhaps didn't have or the safety you wish you saw more of in the world. This is the most noble form of

world. This is the most noble form of [music] projection. But just as we can

[music] projection. But just as we can heal them, they can heal us, specifically our inner [music] child.

This is the most powerful point. When we

treat [music] our pets like children, we are often fixing the way we were treated when we were small.

Think about it. The way you talk to your dog, you're so good. You're so smart.

[music] Look at you. Is that how your parents talk to you?

If it wasn't, then you are doing something called [music] reparing.

You are giving this animal the love, the patience, and the safety that you wished you had.

Every time you buy them a toy, you are healing a little part of yourself that didn't get enough toys.

Every time you hold them when they are scared of thunder, you are [music] healing the part of yourself that was left alone in the dark.

You are proving [music] to yourself that you are capable of being a good protective parent.

You are breaking the cycle of pain [music] using a different species.

This is why it hurts so much when people [music] make fun of pet parents. They

don't see that it's not just about the dog. It's about the person [music]

dog. It's about the person [music] trying to put more love into the world than they took out of it.

Because we love them like children, we grieve [music] them like children.

This is the hardest part of the psychology. When a pet parent loses

psychology. When a pet parent loses their baby, society often tells them [music] to get over it. They say it was just a dog. But the brain [music]

doesn't agree. The brain has lost its

doesn't agree. The brain has lost its primary source of oxytocin. It has lost its daily routine. It has lost the creature that relied on it for everything. The pain is often

everything. The pain is often disenfranchised [music] grief. That means it is a grief that

grief. That means it is a grief that society doesn't respect. This makes it [music] even harder to heal. If you

treat your pet like a child, you need to know that your pain is valid. You are

losing [music] a family member. You're

losing the only witness to your private life. The silence in the house is heavy

life. The silence in the house is heavy because the child who filled it with life is gone.

So where does this leave us?

We are living in a time where the definition of family is expanding.

For thousands of years, family was about survival and lineage. Today, family is about connection.

If you treat your pet like your child, you are a pioneer of this new emotional landscape. You are proving that biology

landscape. You are proving that biology doesn't define [music] family. Love defines family. You are

family. Love defines family. You are

proving that a soul is a soul regardless of the body it comes [music] in.

There is a profound spiritual maturity in looking at a creature that cannot speak that looks nothing like you [music] and saying, "You are mine and I

am yours."

am yours." So, if you are one of those people who calls your dog your son or your cat your daughter, don't [music] let anyone make you feel stupid. You are simply a person

with a lot of love to give. And you have found the safest, purest place to put it. You have found a relationship that

it. You have found a relationship that [music] is free of lies, free of judgment, free of the [music] complications of human ego.

You have chosen to be a guardian to a soul that cannot speak. And in [music] return, they have given you a love that does not need words.

Whether it is biology or trauma or [music] just the need for connection, it is real. So go ahead, buy the sweater,

is real. So go ahead, buy the sweater, [music] cook the chicken, talk to them in that silly voice. [music]

silly voice. [music] Because in a world that can be so hard and so cold, loving something with your whole heart is never a mistake.

So, if you made it this far, and you know exactly what I'm talking about. If

you have a fur baby who saved your life just by being there, hit that like button. Let's show the world how many of

button. Let's show the world how many of us there are.

And if you want to understand more about the hidden reasons why [music] we do what we do, tap subscribe.

And remember, [music] family isn't always about whose blood you have.

Sometimes it's about who is waiting for you at the door when you get home.