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The Secret to Building Wealth from Nothing (It's Not What You Think)

By Mel Robbins

Summary

Topics Covered

  • You're More Capable Than You Think
  • Failure Is the Gateway to Your Biggest Success
  • Dyslexia Made Me Successful
  • Get Going With a Halfbaked Plan
  • Competitor, Not Woman

Full Transcript

gave me $1,000 to start my business.

That was the lucky break. When he said, "You'll never succeed without me." I

knew I'd rather die than not succeed.

Thank God he said that. He was wrong. I

sold my business for $66 million about 20 years later, and he was out of business in 3 years. Today, our guest is the one and the only Barbara Corkran.

She is one of the original sharks on Shark Tank. She's a real estate mogul,

Shark Tank. She's a real estate mogul, one of the most influential, self-made women in business. She's going to look you straight in the eye and call you out on every single excuse that you've been

hiding behind. And if you've been

hiding behind. And if you've been telling yourself you're too old and it's too late, you better buckle up because she's got some things to say to you.

When I was building my business, the Corkran Group in New York City, you have to appreciate that all the businesses are owned by men. None of the big boys watched me and I creeped up on them, bit their from behind. They never knew what

was coming. How did you become a judge

was coming. How did you become a judge on Shark Tank?

Well, I was hired and then fired before I had a chance.

Wait, what do you mean? Why did they fire you? Well, they fired me because

fire you? Well, they fired me because they I actually had a very happy childhood. I was very poor, but I was

childhood. I was very poor, but I was happy. My mother had 10 kids. It was

happy. My mother had 10 kids. It was

crowded and it was competitive. I was

always competing for my mother's attention, so I got good at talking.

That's a gift I got out of being dyslexia. Oh, I think dyslexia made me

dyslexia. Oh, I think dyslexia made me successful. I don't think I would have

successful. I don't think I would have been successful without it. You can

create exactly what you want, but I think the key there really is moving on something, anything. Just get yourself

something, anything. Just get yourself moving and then the idea becomes itself.

Barbara Corkran, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

Thank you very much. I have been looking forward to this because I have met you in passing a number of times. I admire

you so much. I'm a fan of Shark Tank.

I've heard your keynote address. It's

extraordinary. How might my life be different if I take everything to heart that you're about to share with us and teach us today and I apply it to my own life or my business? I would love people

to appreciate and believe that you're far more capable than you think you are.

I've never met a person who wasn't more capable than they gave themselves credit for. And I'd like people to really

for. And I'd like people to really understand that you don't have to do it the way everybody else does. It's not

the way that you're going to do it.

You're free to do it exactly as you please. I know that so many people are

please. I know that so many people are going to listen to this and they're going to share it particularly with the women in their lives that are doubting themselves that don't think they're

capable. So could you speak directly to

capable. So could you speak directly to the person who maybe received this from a friend or a sister and they're feeling full of doubt.

They've lost some confidence. They're

feeling a little stuck. What do you want to say to that? Well, I think everyone feels stuck. I'm probably feeling stuck

feels stuck. I'm probably feeling stuck four or five times a month. Really? It's

not important whether you feel stuck or not. just assume it's a human condition.

not. just assume it's a human condition.

We all feel that way. But I think you can do a lot to change yourself to being unstuck. And one of the best ways to do

unstuck. And one of the best ways to do it, or at least I started with it, is to change tape in your head. I had a tape in my head like intimidation all the way until I decided to change it from

Barbara, you're overstating. Barbara,

you can't get there. Barbara, you can't can can't can't. And replace it with Barbara, you're incredible. Now, did I believe it? No. But I made the habit of

believe it? No. But I made the habit of changing every time my mind went down that hole. I changed it to Barbara,

that hole. I changed it to Barbara, you're incredible. And eventually I

you're incredible. And eventually I started believing it. We all have lousy tapes in our head left over from childhood. Man, I have a little I think

childhood. Man, I have a little I think the the woman that gave me the worst tape in my head was Sister Stella Marie the nun from hell in third grade who said, "You're always going to be stupid because you can't read." It took me

probably eight years to get over that.

And I said, "I'm not going to be stupid." And that's I decided not to be.

stupid." And that's I decided not to be.

I mean, it's a shame that how dare someone make you feel less than you are.

You've got to come back strong. Well,

and oftenimes, Barbara, and I think you know this, too, because you just talked a little bit about how you were like, "Barbara, you're doing this. Barbara,

you're doing that." And you started saying, "Barbara, you're incredible."

And then the more you repeated it, you started to believe it. But often times, the person that's beating us down the most is ourselves.

Yes. Very much. So, for the person who's listening right now who feels like, "Okay, Mel, Barbara, I love both you ladies, but it's too late for me. I have

screwed up too many times. I have not gotten myself together. It's too late.

I'm too old." What do you want to say to that person?

I'm It's never too late. Obviously, you

know that. I know that. But I think you just have to pause and realize I have always done a simple exercise. I've

counted the years I have left and think of how many more mis can I get in those years. So when I was 46 and sold my

years. So when I was 46 and sold my business, I thought I sold the golden goose and I thought I would never ever create another business again like that.

I thought I had sold my best business.

Not that I didn't want to. I wanted to.

But then I realized I was the golden goose. You can create exactly what you

goose. You can create exactly what you want. I mean I laid eggs again and again

want. I mean I laid eggs again and again and I reinvented myself over and over again. But I think the key there really

again. But I think the key there really is to believe that you really have to get good at trying. Because the minute you try, an opportunity is right there and you go, "Whoa, I didn't think of that." But it's when you're in that

that." But it's when you're in that still position, or at least for me, when I'm in a still position, I could sit at my desk and try to invent an idea, forget it. It's about moving on

forget it. It's about moving on something, anything. Just get yourself

something, anything. Just get yourself moving and then the idea becomes itself.

And by the way, about failing at stuff, which I find just stops a lot of people.

they feel they've had two or three failures and oh, I'm not going to do it.

I just don't believe in that. I think

they just didn't hang around long enough to see the flip side of failure because all my good stuff happened after a big failure. It almost seemed like for me,

failure. It almost seemed like for me, the bigger the failure I had, the bigger the upside, but I was dogged enough to just stay there and see there's got to be something here.

There's got to be something. And I think just waiting around for the something to find it and believing there's something there. I don't think you're ever wrong.

there. I don't think you're ever wrong.

I think there's always something there and you can get something started again.

You said something that really caught my attention, which is you do this thing where you count the years you have left.

Yes, I do.

So, do you have a number in mind for how long you're going to live?

Yeah, about 105. Okay. 105. So, let's

just take that away as something you can grab from Barbara. You're going to live to 105. You've got that many years left

to 105. You've got that many years left and I love what you That's a How many Mis can I pack into?

Probably about another two. But they've

got to be different. They've got to suit who I am at that juncture in my life.

Oh, I love that.

I could never build another real estate business with the energy it took, the people I had to hire, the financial stress I went through. I'm older now. I

just can't handle that. It's got to be appropriate to who you are and true to yourself at that point in time because your experience changes you. You're

still the same Barbara, but you're slightly different. So, it's got to fit

slightly different. So, it's got to fit you very well. How do you know what fits you and what doesn't?

It feels right. I don't have a plan necessarily. I might have a vague plan,

necessarily. I might have a vague plan, but I have confidence that I'll find something and that it will feel right when I see it. Like I did this last go around when I sold the Corkran group. I

tried cooking lessons. I was going to be a chef. I tried artistic lessons. I I

a chef. I tried artistic lessons. I I

was going to be an artist. I have all those capabilities, but nothing felt right. I saw a PR company for about

right. I saw a PR company for about three months. It didn't feel right.

three months. It didn't feel right.

Threw that away. And the fourth one I landed on. I became a an expert in real

landed on. I became a an expert in real estate on the Today Show and all of a sudden I was getting work and I said, "Hey, this feels right. Let me do it.

I'm good at talking on TV." And off I went. And that right there is an example

went. And that right there is an example of exactly what you just told us to do.

You have to try. You're also known as one of the most accomplished investors and founders today. But what people

don't know is how the story begins. And

so what I want to do is go all the way back to growing up in New Jersey and talk about what life really looked like.

I got a little photo for you of you and your siblings.

Oh, sure. I love this photo. That was my sister Ellen's idea. Thank God we pose for it.

You don't get those opportunities easily enough. Talk about what life really

enough. Talk about what life really looked like when you were growing up in New Jersey. Well, I actually had a very

New Jersey. Well, I actually had a very happy childhood. I was very poor, but I

happy childhood. I was very poor, but I was happy. My mother had 10 kids. Her

was happy. My mother had 10 kids. Her

father was My father was her 11th child.

I think she he was the hardest to manage of all of us. But it was crowded and it was competitive. I would say those two

was competitive. I would say those two words come to mind. Always crowded. So,

you had to make do all the time and finesse all the time and competitive.

You had to compete for my mother and father's attention. We each got very

father's attention. We each got very little attention. It was doled out in

little attention. It was doled out in tiny little pieces. And I really believe that's the reason I've needed a lot of attention my whole life, making up for that or something. But it was chaotic.

But my mother had a great ability for systems. She had a system for everything in the household. And with her systems, we were always well-dressed. We were

always had good meals. We always

celebrated holidays. And we felt like we were the rich kids in town, really. But

we weren't. But what a great upbringing I had. Really? So, you grew up in a

I had. Really? So, you grew up in a two-bedroom flat with 10 siblings. How

did that shape the way you approach life? I was always competing for my

life? I was always competing for my mother's attention. So, I got good at

mother's attention. So, I got good at talking. I got good at entertaining the

talking. I got good at entertaining the kids, entertaining my parents, and I was always wanted in the group. You know,

you kind of had to be invited in. When

you have 10 kids, you play with whoever you want. I was always one of the kids

you want. I was always one of the kids they wanted to play with cuz I was fun funloving. So, I learned how to make

funloving. So, I learned how to make fun. and I just carried that forth to my

fun. and I just carried that forth to my business. I think I was the most fun

business. I think I was the most fun boss in the world and that made a big difference. It made people love me. Did

difference. It made people love me. Did

having a ton of siblings and growing up in an environment that was crowded and competitive help you learn how to read people? Because I think one of the

people? Because I think one of the things that I've noticed about you, especially in your role as a judge on Shark Tank, is you seem to be an instant

judge of good or bad character or of a founder you want to invest in and somebody you don't. You know, we were kids. My mother was a great judge of

kids. My mother was a great judge of people. She had a crazy thing she did

people. She had a crazy thing she did when she brought the kid home from Holy Name Hospital. She'd unwrapped him and

Name Hospital. She'd unwrapped him and say, "Meet your brother Tommy. He's

going to be a magnificent dancer." Wow.

Oh, a dancer in the family. And she

coined what everybody was going to be when they grew up. She was amazingly accurate. The reason she made that

accurate. The reason she made that prediction about my brother was he had fat legs and he was kicking like hell.

But he became a ballet dancer for Alvin Ali Dance Theater.

He did for Alvin Alley.

For me, she said when I came home crying out of school that sister Stella Marie had told me I was stupid again. She said

to me, "Don't worry about it. You have a wonderful imagination." And she

wonderful imagination." And she announced that when I was born and she put me in that role all the time and she said with it you'll fill in all the blanks. So I grew up really thinking I

blanks. So I grew up really thinking I had the best imagination in the world.

So judging people I think we're all in our family great judges of people because my mother was my mother could judge anyone from a mile away and she was accurate. I remember when I was

was accurate. I remember when I was running my business I hired bookkeepers to be salespeople, salespeople to be bookkeepers. switch things around

bookkeepers. switch things around because I just envisioned them in a different role. I saw that capacity and

different role. I saw that capacity and I had the empathy to walk in their shoes and understand them. And as a result of that, I really hired good people. I

really think that was my secret, but I got it from my mother. I never had a mentor, but I had my mother. You know, I you told the story about that awful nun who said you were stupid from hell.

The nun from hell. And what you didn't know at the time is that it wasn't that you couldn't read, it was that you had dyslexia. Yeah. And like

dyslexia. Yeah. And like

they didn't have a name for that. I

don't think then they they definitely didn't because they really weren't talking about it much when I was in school and I'm a couple decades younger. You just a couple. They

decades younger. You just a couple. They

had a special class and not they did down the hall.

Ah yes. But I found out that I had dyslexia

yes. But I found out that I had dyslexia late in life just like you did because our sons were being diagnosed.

Yes. That's usually when you find out.

So, do you think being underestimated or having to figure out different ways to solve problems is part of what's made you successful? I think dyslexia made me

you successful? I think dyslexia made me successful. I don't think I would have

successful. I don't think I would have been successful without it. You know, a lot comes with being dyslexic. You look

at the world differently. You interpret

it differently. You're overprepared

constantly. Or I am. I'll prepare like seven hours for a 1-hour speech. It's

ridiculous. Do I know this stuff? Of

course I do. But I'm so insecure because I never want to be called on again and not know the answer. You know, nothing's worse than being a dyslexic child and being judged by how well you could read or write. The worst thing for me was

or write. The worst thing for me was being asked to read out loud in front of the other kids. You're the the the you definitely looking stupid. But you know what? It brings with you a different way

what? It brings with you a different way of thinking. I sat in that classroom six

of thinking. I sat in that classroom six hours a day and just imagine things I never paid attention. And it's right that today I could think of an idea a minute. I could just think of solutions

minute. I could just think of solutions really fast. That's a gift I got out of

really fast. That's a gift I got out of being dyslexia.

I think also that with dyslexia, people underestimate you. So, you don't read at

underestimate you. So, you don't read at the board meeting and they write you off because you're you're stumbling, but they don't know your imagination and what you're thinking about and how you express yourself with your mouth as a

result of not being able to write. I

mean, I got very goofed my mouth. I got

very funny. You and I are so similar.

Really? Yes. And if you can't do what's being asked of you, you find other ways to matter. You find other ways to

to matter. You find other ways to express yourself. I mean, it's not

express yourself. I mean, it's not there's no way.

Put your muscle somewhere else.

Yes. Do you think it's interesting because I think a lot of people are afraid of being underestimated.

But for you and me, come on. Talk to me about what it means to be underestimated.

When I was building my business, the Corker Group in New York City, you have to appreciate that all the businesses are owned by men. All the people who work for the businesses were wellconed.

I hired everybody that nobody else wanted. People wrote me off. They

wanted. People wrote me off. They

weren't watching me for like 10 years.

None of the big boys watched me. That I

was the girl that wasn't going to do any anything really spectacular. And I

creeped up on them. They weren't

watching. I bit their ass from behind.

They never knew what was coming. I was

able to try marketing ideas that they never thought of. I did business a different way, you know. I was able to hire gay men. No one was hiring gay men.

But what dedication I had for my gay salespeople. I hired everybody who

salespeople. I hired everybody who didn't want to. But what a team we felt.

And everybody was getting even proving that they could be a somebody. And I was there to tell them they were better than they ever were and they were really going to be a somebody. And guess what?

Everybody did. Even a guy I hired as a concierge desk at the Pier Hotel became my secretary. And he later went on to

my secretary. And he later went on to run my arch rival and almost put me out of business. My god, I just had a gift

of business. My god, I just had a gift for knowing what people would do well.

You know, one of the things that I also love about you is I think there's very few people that could outwork me, but you might be one of them.

Oh, I could outwork you. No doubt. I've

never met anyone who could work harder.

Yes. You work very, very hard. You

worked 22 jobs. Yes.

Before you started that real estate business, including being a receptionist, a waitress. I want you to walk me through that chapter and what

did those early jobs teach you? The

early jobs are invaluable and you know today people think they should know what they want to be when they grow up and they get right into that track. I think

it's such a terrible mistake. I spent

those 22 jobs most importantly learning what I was good and what I was bad at.

So I was a great waitress. I at times had three waitress jobs at once. But I

could charm anybody. I could serve them faster than anybody. Get that coffee there, call the guy handsome if I couldn't remember his name from the day before. And it helped me tremendously. I

before. And it helped me tremendously. I

was a nurse's aid and I had to post temperature charts and I got the numbers to mix up. I knew I didn't belong in a business with numbers at all. I learned

that I could sell more hot dogs at a hot dog stand than the next kid because I had the gift of gab. I learned exactly what I should be at. And I learned really, most importantly, I was great at sales. And that's what I wound up being.

sales. And that's what I wound up being.

When I went into the real estate business, I knew nothing about real estate and never really learned anything about real estate, but I knew how to make people happy with their real estate and talk them into things they really

loved and were afraid to make the choice about. What What do you think makes

about. What What do you think makes someone good at sales?

I think it's being genuine.

I don't think you can fake it. I think

people know when you're selling selling them something they don't want to buy, talking them into it. I think you just have to make someone comfortable with what they're going to choose anyway.

Give them reasons why it's a great choice. Make them feel justified in

choice. Make them feel justified in going up to a higher price that they deserve that apartment at a higher price or they deserve the better view or whatever.

I think it's making them feel comfortable with you. It's really more what seals is about comfort. I agree.

And I think that's a lot of what comes through those early jobs. Yeah. is

getting comfortable with yourself and comfortable with people of different moods as you're serving them. But thank

God I had the chance to try out 22 jobs.

You know, when I went into Bloomingdales to buy my first coat, which was an extravagant coat with my first commission check, I didn't know what I'd look good in. I

tried on a million coats. And it's kind of the same way with jobs. I think you got to just try on a million stuff to see what you're good at. Just doesn't

come naturally. You know, I have a photo of you. Um, where are you getting these

of you. Um, where are you getting these photos? seen this when you're 23 years

photos? seen this when you're 23 years old.

That's the coat I was telling you about.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah. I swear to God. The first coat you bought at Bloomingdales with $330 and I had a $340 commission check.

Okay, hold on a second. So, you earned $340 on your first real estate transaction and you spent 330 of it on a coat.

Yeah, I blew it. And so what would you tell that version of you, the 23-year-old Barbara, about what's possible? I would have told myself,

possible? I would have told myself, you're dead on. You look and feel like a million bucks. You're going to act like

million bucks. You're going to act like a million bucks. I wanted to be the queen of New York real estate on day one in the business. I saw it like I could taste it, touch it, saw it in living

color, but I had a ratty outfit on, you know? Yeah.

know? Yeah.

So once I put that coat on, I wore it for the next six years up and down the streets of Manhattan. But I felt like a fancy lady. Everyone would have told me

fancy lady. Everyone would have told me what a stupid thing to do when you only had $1,000 to stretch. It wasn't a stupid thing. It was probably the best

stupid thing. It was probably the best thing I ever bought. How come? Because

it made me feel like who I wanted to be.

Well, you know what I love about this story? There's really important wisdom

story? There's really important wisdom to pull out of it that I want to make sure as you're listening or watching that you don't miss. So Barbara, even at

the age of 23, you had this sense of clarity to be able to say to yourself, this is what I want. And without that sense of clarity and the permission that you give yourself to say, you know what,

I want to be successful in real estate.

I want to be the queen of real estate in New York City. Why the hell not?

Declaring it is the first step. And then

you started to think about what are some of the small things I need to do to feel like it. And the coat was the first one

like it. And the coat was the first one to embody it, to look like it, to feel like it before you were it.

Yes. So, let's fast forward seven years.

You're 30 years old. Your boyfriend, who also becomes your business partner. Why

the hell are you in business with your boyfriend Barbara?

I was a diner waitress and he came in one night and he was charming. He had

jet black hair, aviator shades on. He

was sexy. I had never had a boyfriend.

So, at 23, I really wanted a boyfriend.

Y and he later, two months later, once I was his girlfriend, gave me $1,000 to start my business. Where the heck would I get $1,000? That was the lucky break.

That was the lucky break. And I started the company first with him. I needed

him. I didn't have the confidence at the time to think I could really do it, but he told me I could. And then I believed it. He told me he was successful in

it. He told me he was successful in business. He was charming. And he said,

business. He was charming. And he said, "You'd be great at real estate sales."

So I said, "Okay, that's good enough. I

could always go back to the diner. And

that's exactly what I did. I started the business. So he left you. Yes. Married

business. So he left you. Yes. Married

my secretary. That [ __ ] Well, now you want to thank her probably.

Yeah, probably.

But he also told you that you'll never succeed without me.

Well, I don't blame him cuz I was going out the door. divided the business in half and left him on a Friday afternoon and took my half of my business out with me. And I think he was angry. I don't

me. And I think he was angry. I don't

really think in the hindsight when I think about it that he meant it, but thank God he said it because when he said, "You'll never succeed without me."

I knew I'd rather die than not succeed.

And when I was in bad times and didn't know how to keep the business through all the upheavalss in New York City, going bankrupt, the stock market crash, 9/11, when I was always be out of cash,

I would think of his words. I would just come back on me and I would always think of some other angle to keep in business.

So, thank God he said that. He was

wrong. I sold my business for $66 million about 20 years later and he was out of business in three years. So, go

figure. Go. I you what you almost said I heard. So,

heard. So, Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Yep.

So, how do you build confidence when you're scared or when you're unsure?

You know, I have all my confidence for one thing only, and I don't think people appreciate it. They think if you're

appreciate it. They think if you're successful at what you attempt even in a particular chapter in your life or a day in your life, you grab from that your confidence and you have more confidence

for the next time. It's never worked for me that way. I've tried everything. I've

failed, you know, most things, but most things in my real estate business were flops. But when I had a success, I found

flops. But when I had a success, I found my confidence wasn't built. But what did build my confidence and made it rock solid is I knew I could outwork and

outry anyone. And I knew I'd be back if

outry anyone. And I knew I'd be back if I failed. I just knew in my heart I was

I failed. I just knew in my heart I was going to stand right back up. And

knowing you always stand back up and try again. You're confident. You You look

again. You're confident. You You look confident because you are confident. You

might not win again. You might fail again, but the next one will be a win.

So I just keep trying trying trying. I

try so much. Say anything that's new out in the social space. I try it. That's

where I get my confidence from. That's

the best definition of confidence because I think most people say my confidence is in the thing I'm accomplishing. And you just said, "No,

accomplishing. And you just said, "No, confidence, true confidence is knowing that you can count on yourself to keep going and to pick yourself back up and

keep away from you."

That's right. Nobody can take that away from you.

What is the biggest failure that you've had? You keep talking about failure.

had? You keep talking about failure.

What's someone that was like, "Whoa."

Well, any of my failures, the biggest ones were always my biggest success.

Probably the one I what lost the most money on. Would you say was a failure?

money on. Would you say was a failure?

Sure. What was that?

That was homes on tape. I announced to my salespeople, you know, we're going to take all your apartments and put them on videotape. This was before the advent of

videotape. This was before the advent of the internet. That sounds brilliant. It

the internet. That sounds brilliant. It

sounds brilliant. They cheered me on and I felt like a goddamn genius. So, I put everybody on videotape, including my salespeople. did their makeup, did their

salespeople. did their makeup, did their hair, made them look beautiful, and no one handed out the tape. I I couldn't believe that it would be I spent $77,000,

which was my first profit, on the what I thought was a great idea. It failed

miserably, but I was with my husband that weekend right after the failure and feeling sorry for myself for about a minute and he mentioned he was playing war games on this new government thing

called the internet in real time. And I

took my tapes and put them on the internet that Monday morning. And I

registered all my competitors URLs. So I

own them. And we sold two apartments in out of London in one week. Boom. Boom.

It just hit. And that was the advent of the internet, which was going to change the real estate business more than any other thing has changed it. But I had almost two years to play around on the

internet before my competitors woke up.

And when they woke up, they always called me asking for the URLs back.

That's how I knew they were waking up, you know. But now look at that. That was

you know. But now look at that. That was

the worst disaster moneywise because it was my whole profit. But in the long run or even in the short run, it was my biggest success. The internet took me

biggest success. The internet took me from maybe 12th, 13th position and made me number three. Boy, I was coming within shooting range after the internet cuz I was there early and it was simply

happen stance. I hung around. That's all

happen stance. I hung around. That's all

I did. I hung around and used it. What's

your advice to somebody who's listening right now who's just starting their career, who's trying to figure out their future? You're not going to figure it

future? You're not going to figure it out from afar. Just try a lot of stuff on. Forget about what mom and dad said

on. Forget about what mom and dad said or whatever. Just figure out I think a

or whatever. Just figure out I think a good guide is to figure out what you're good at and figure out what you're not good at. And if you don't know, get out

good at. And if you don't know, get out and play in the traffic and find out.

See if you're good at this or that. And

that makes for a happy and successful career. If you could wrap a career

career. If you could wrap a career choice around something you're naturally good at, you have nothing to do but win.

You really will win with it. Because

that's what I did. I only I only use utilize in my business a few traits that I have and that's good enough. What are

the few traits? Judging people,

marketing, and salesmanship. That's what

I do. Well, when I sold the Corker Group, I sat down with a legal pad and wrote down everything I was good at and everything I was bad at to try to think of what I would do. And there were only

three things I could do. One of them was TV, one of them was a PR agency, and one was an advertising agency. Would utilize

my traits of being good on camera, being a good salesman, and liking a public speaking. Those were the three that were

speaking. Those were the three that were on the list. And I went into the TV business. Thank God. I could have done

business. Thank God. I could have done it in the PR and advertising space, I think, just as well.

Well, you said you tried it, but you didn't like it. It didn't feel right.

Yeah, I didn't. That's why you got to get in traffic and play around because then you're going to figure out what actually feels right and what doesn't.

You know, there's a lot of people that are losing their jobs right now. And

also, I read this stat that 69% of Americans would quit their job today if they could afford to. Is that true?

Yep. I didn't know that.

They do not like what they do.

What do you think the single most valuable skill right now is that someone should focus on learning? Well, technology, of

on learning? Well, technology, of course, AI in particular. I've I can't imagine running my business without it.

I've just gotten on it six months ago or so. You know, that's important, but I

so. You know, that's important, but I think far more important for anyone thinking of how they should spend their time. I think when you pick a job, you

time. I think when you pick a job, you shouldn't be choosing what job you want, but you should be looking for a good person to work for. When you've got a great boss, it's far far more important

than a great job because the boss has got your back. He pushes you ahead. He

believes in you and you have a heck of a fun time working for him. But most

people choose a position over the boss or the chances of promotion over the boss. When you have a good boss, you got

boss. When you have a good boss, you got the right thing in your own corner. How

do you know who is a good boss? Like

what would you look for if you were going out and you're not Well, obviously you're Barbara Corkran, so you're not going out looking for a job, but maybe Well, maybe. Who knows? But if you were

Well, maybe. Who knows? But if you were looking and assessing, you know, who do I want to work for? What would you want that boss, him or her, to have in terms

of making them a good boss? I would say the most important trait is have them speak about who works for them. Who do

you have working for you now? Who's your

favorite person? What do you do with them? You know, how long have they been

them? You know, how long have they been here? Like, you're actually finding out

here? Like, you're actually finding out if they're working for the people versus the people working for them, which I think is really the key to being a good boss is to work for your people. You

want someone who's going to say he's got this guy got promoted blah blah blah. If

you just get a guy who wants you to do your job and that's it and you don't prod him to tell you about the people, you really won't learn about his attitude toward people and you don't know what you're working for.

What do you think the difference is between somebody who's a boss versus somebody being a good leader?

Well, I guess a boss tells you what you ought to be doing, which is valuable.

You want to know what your job is, but a leader inspires you and gets you to believe in their dream and see things the way they do and makes you willing to climb up the

mountain behind them. I think being a leader is not easy. It doesn't come to everybody.

Yeah.

But I think it has to be 100% genuine and you have to be on the employees side. If they feel that, they'll follow

side. If they feel that, they'll follow you anywhere. They really will.

you anywhere. They really will.

How can you be a good leader? like for

somebody who's listening that wants to be better in a leadership role or to just be a good leader, what are some of the things that you would tell them to think about? And

think about? And I think the most important thing is to speak genuinely. I mean, you know, when

speak genuinely. I mean, you know, when you're being con and bosses are great at economy. But if you're a great leader

economy. But if you're a great leader and you speak genuinely as to why what you want them to do is good for them, not for you, they'll listen to you and they'll follow you. I think you have to

put it in their terms why it's good for them because the the good leader is always working for their employees if they have their head on straight and that's how you get it done.

What are the characteristics that would make you fire somebody like you're out?

Wow. Only one thing. I don't mind ineptitude. I don't even mind people who

ineptitude. I don't even mind people who aren't putting in the effort. I can

change that. I can inspire them and change it. But I can't change a

change it. But I can't change a complainer. If you're a complainer, I

complainer. If you're a complainer, I get rid of them. It's like a cancer in a company. One complainer feeling sorry,

company. One complainer feeling sorry, oh poor me needs, oh poor you. And it

it's contagious. It catches on and becomes incestuous in the company. I

don't tolerate complainers. I got rid of them as fast as I could because they were dangerous and they were attacking my people. I felt the negative attitude

my people. I felt the negative attitude was attacking my positive people. So I

got rid of them. And you know why does teamwork matter so much? You've talked

so much about team. Why does teamwork matter? And how do you build trust with

matter? And how do you build trust with your team? Because especially like if

your team? Because especially like if you think back to building your real estate company, people go between real estate companies all the time. They get

poached all the time and it takes trust to stay somewhere.

Yes. Well, in the real estate business, there's tremendous turnover, roughly 60% a year. I never had anyone leave unless

a year. I never had anyone leave unless I fired them. They never wanted to leave. They were having the most fun at

leave. They were having the most fun at my company. They liked me more than any

my company. They liked me more than any other boss out there. And they most importantly liked each other. It was

their family. So, they stayed around.

And how do you inspire that? By letting

them know at every turn along the way that you're for them. I'm here to serve you. What do you need lately? How can I

you. What do you need lately? How can I make your job easier? What would you like to be when you grow up? Where do

you want to be promoted to? What do you want to do? I just had their viewpoint in my head. It didn't make a difference what I thought. But what happened naturally was they became ferocious and

on my side. And besides, you know why you basically need a team? Because you

can't build a business without it. I've

never seen anything without people building. So, you have to inspire your

building. So, you have to inspire your people.

Well, I think people forget that companies are actually people. It's made

up of the people that work there.

It's easy to forget the higher up.

It's very easy to forget. What is the most effective way, Barbara, to ask for a raise?

Tell the person what you were hired for with a list of what you did what you were hired for. Specific, as specific as you could be. If you have 30 items, put it on the list. Walk in and show them

that list compared to the list you're actually doing. Because people are

actually doing. Because people are always hired for less work than they're actually given. And you say, "I'm doing

actually given. And you say, "I'm doing all these other duties now. 20%. I'd

like a raise." And you name the amount.

You name the amount. Most girls don't name the amount. Most girls don't ask for raises. Men ask for raises. Women

for raises. Men ask for raises. Women

don't. That's been my experience in running the Corkran group. We had a thousand people,025 or so working there.

And I can tell you twice did a woman ask me for a raise in the 15 years. Yet the men always ask for raises and told them how told you how great they were. And I had women that were much better than the men. You

just have to get in there, make the appointment, show them what you're doing and ask for a specific amount. And you

can't fall for the typical thing that big companies say is there's no not in the budget. Someone's getting a raise,

the budget. Someone's getting a raise, but it's not you, but someone's getting a raise. You know, one of the things

a raise. You know, one of the things that um I always think about a lot too because I think that's excellent advice to document everything you're doing because your boss has no clue and you're doing a lot more than anybody realizing

sorry for yourself over Yes. And if you don't have a big list,

Yes. And if you don't have a big list, you have no business going and asking for a raise.

No, I don't want to pay you more for the same thing you did yesterday or less than what I'm actually expecting you to do. But I also see people making the

do. But I also see people making the mistake of doing one of these glass door searches and looking at comparable positions in a company and then coming in gives you a barometer.

Maybe I want to see what you're doing.

I want to actually see what you're doing because if you've got evidence of all the things that you're doing now I know what the value is, not title to title.

You're right. You don't want to walk in and quote the average price that people are being paid for your position. That's

what you mean by that?

Yes. Yes. If you I'm sure you must get asked this question a million times, which is I have no money. I have no connections, but I want to start a business. Where do you start? Start

business. Where do you start? Start

online. You don't even have to have a product. You could have a drawing of a

product. You could have a drawing of a product and sell it and make it once you get orders. I mean, the world is open to

get orders. I mean, the world is open to you. Everything is equal today. When I

you. Everything is equal today. When I

started, you needed to have the right competition, the right person supporting you, the right money, the right connections. Today, it's really not

connections. Today, it's really not worth anything. I hear more people say,

worth anything. I hear more people say, "How do I get the right connections?"

I'm like, "The right connections, there's no such a thing." You know, everybody you meet for me was a connection. I talked to everybody. But

connection. I talked to everybody. But

when I was talking to them, I really wasn't talking to them. I was

interviewing them. I wonder what they could do for me. I wonder what their talent is. How could I use them? And

talent is. How could I use them? And

then I would take them into my firm and employ them in the best use of them. I

want to make sure that as you're listening and watching, okay, that you got that amazing piece of wisdom that Barbara just dropped. She basically

said, "Stop obsessing about connections because every human being you're talking to is a connection."

You've got the best one on the internet.

A connection to the whole world.

Yes. But what I love that you said is you're like, when we were talking, I wasn't talking. I was listening and I

wasn't talking. I was listening and I was interviewing them. I'm interviewing

them from how could this person help me?

Are they interesting? Are they not? Are

they wasting time?

I interview you now. Oh, even though you think you're interviewing me. Ooh. What

are you looking for?

I'm going to hire you as my assistant.

I don't know if you can afford me. No,

I'm just kidding. No, I can't.

I actually You want to know something?

I'd be a horrible assistant.

Yeah, you probably would.

No, I would be a horrible skill set at all.

Not my skill set. I'm terrible. Can you

talk?

I can talk.

I would send you out my sales force.

You'd be number one.

Probably without a doubt.

Yeah, I would because I understand if you could take the heat. There's a

lot of heat in that business.

How so? You know, you get like 10 rejections for every one. Yes. And then

the most important trait you have is not feeling sorry for yourself. Or at least if you feel sorry for yourself, give yourself an hour and get back up. You

know, my best salespeople had just as many leads as a worst salesperson. And

the worst salesperson always kept in the house for about a week feeling sorry for themselves when they lost a good customer. my best salespeople would lose

customer. my best salespeople would lose customers all the time and dust off and stand up and get back in the game. And

that wound up dividing the people making three $4 million a year from my average salesman at the time who's making 60 $62,000 a year. Yeah. I think in life

there's a there's kind of two different types of people. There's the kind of person who looks who gets, you know, in sales you get dealt a hand because here's your leads, here's your here's

your like whatever your regen, you're this, you're that. And so you get handed cards and there are people that either [ __ ] about their cards and blame their lack of results on the cards that

they're holding. Boss isn't being fair.

they're holding. Boss isn't being fair.

Yes, boss isn't fair. These are bad leads. Blah blah blah. And then there

leads. Blah blah blah. And then there are people that realize it's how you play the game. And if the cards suck, you got to move through them fast so you can get another hand or go somewhere else.

Yes. Yes. But you're in control. You're

in control versus the boss in control.

That's what fools people. People think

when they're working for someone that is their definition of their opportunity.

The real opportunity is in their own chest. They could leave that day if they

chest. They could leave that day if they chose. You know, one other question I

chose. You know, one other question I had cuz I I hear this a lot especially with people to want to start a business or somebody that's trying to reinvent themselves. are like, I really want to

themselves. are like, I really want to do something, but I'm trying to come up with an idea. I'm trying to think of a problem. I'm trying to think of a of a

problem. I'm trying to think of a of a product that's not out there. I'm trying

to If you could give somebody advice about how to think about the idea itself,

what is the way to generate ideas around a business to start? I think you could do anything you do in your day-to-day life. Stop, examine everything that's

life. Stop, examine everything that's happening and think, is there a better way to do this? not just by yourself, but what other people are doing. If

you're at a local store and it's taking too long to check out the on the cash register or if you're you know, whatever you're you're encountering in your daily life, just look at it and say, "How

could I do that better?" And within that are great products. All the great products at Shark Tank are better ways of doing the same old same old. Even

it's making a pizza pie with a new pizza box. I mean, as ridiculous as it is, I

box. I mean, as ridiculous as it is, I invested in it because it was a better way of delivering pizza. You know, that kid, that's his only idea. And that's

what he ran on Shark Tank with and that's why he's built a business business, just making pizza boxes, but he was trying to solve a problem better than the last guy. And that's always where you find your solution to a new

business. So, Barbara, what do you think

business. So, Barbara, what do you think the worst advice is that you could give somebody starting a business? Oh, the

worst advice, the same advice my mother gave me. And yet, my mother usually gave

gave me. And yet, my mother usually gave me great advice. She told me when I was a waitress, when I announced I was starting my own business with Ray Simone, she said, "Why don't you hold on to your job? You change so often. You

need a resume. Build up your resume and if you still feel that way in a year, go out into business, but you should have a good resume." She was preparing me for a

good resume." She was preparing me for a mundane job. Actually, she didn't know

mundane job. Actually, she didn't know it, but that's what she was aiming at, you know. I ignored her and started my

you know. I ignored her and started my business. You know, it's so sad. I meet

business. You know, it's so sad. I meet

so many entrepreneurs that plan and plan their business for months and the best time to do is the second you have the thought and the minute you get out in the field, you find out what's wrong with your plan and change everything.

But you don't have to get it right. You

just have to get it going. And my mother did not understand that mantra. She

thought I should wait a while. Boy, if I had waited a while, I would have thought of five reasons not to do it. But I

didn't wait. I jumped right off and did the business and I was successful from the beginning. And what would you say is

the beginning. And what would you say is like the best advice you can give to somebody that is starting a business.

Get going. I give that advice all the time. Even with a halfbaked plan, I say

time. Even with a halfbaked plan, I say get going because I know when you're in the field, you find out the real plan, what's going to work and what's wrong with your idea and what's wrong with you and everything else that comes out

because it's the real world. You can

plan things. I think business plans are so overrated. My god. But to plan from

so overrated. My god. But to plan from afar and think I've got to get it right before I jump out, forget it. It just

never happens. You think of reasons why not to do it and you've wasted all that valuable time. You know, one of the

valuable time. You know, one of the things you said earlier is so true and it's brilliant, which is with all the technology in the internet today, you don't even have to truly quote start the business.

Yes.

You can create a prototype that's even built by AI, you can create a weight list.

You can. And so somebody comes to you with an idea. They say, "We've got a 100,000 people that have signed up for the wait list to be notified when the product is about to drop." That weight list demonstrates that people are

interested in the offering, whether it's a service or it's a product. And so that was not even possible a couple decades ago.

Not at all. What really happens on Shark Tank is entrepreneurs will come in once in a while with nothing more than a prototype and they'll pitch how great it's going to be. They have no proof of sales. They don't know who they're going

sales. They don't know who they're going to sell it to. They don't know what they're going to do with it, but they believe in it. And if I believe in the person, I'll buy in. Now, once they're on Shark Tank, people call in to order.

They go on their line and they order thousands of copies of whatever they said. They don't even have it, but

said. They don't even have it, but people will wait. They say, "Oh, I'm sorry. We've had overwhelming response.

sorry. We've had overwhelming response.

We'll have it ready in three months."

And now that's exactly when they'll build the product. And their business has started late, you might say. but

they had the courage to get out there with the prototype or a drawing or something like that and people believed in it and that's a great barometer that they're going to be successful right from the get-go. How did you become a jug judge on Shark Tank?

Well, I was hired and then fired before I had a chance.

Wait, what do you mean? Why did they fire you?

Well, they fired me because they landed on another woman. They said they preferred her after I signed the contract, which I reminded them and they said yes, but we didn't sign it. I had

already told all my friends I'm going to Hollywood. I was so embarrassed. I

Hollywood. I was so embarrassed. I

bought two new outfits, new luggage.

There I was going to Hollywood and it was cancelled. So I suggested to the

was cancelled. So I suggested to the producer that all my good luck came after rejection and I considered his rejection a lucky charm. And I wrote a short tur email to him and suggested he

invite me out with her and compete for the seat. And that's exactly what he

the seat. And that's exactly what he did. Thank God. You're

did. Thank God. You're

kidding me.

Really? I turned my good fortune around by doing what I did best, what I always do best. getting back up, taking another

do best. getting back up, taking another swing. Just took another swing. Do you

swing. Just took another swing. Do you

know what? The first day on Shark Tank, my producer said, "You know, we rejected 42 men that wanted the position in the other seats." I said, "You're kidding."

other seats." I said, "You're kidding."

He said, "Not one wrote to me.

Not one wrote to me objecting to the rejection. I These are successful

rejection. I These are successful millionaires, billionaires. That's

millionaires, billionaires. That's amazing that they didn't." You know what I find interesting is so many people are not willing to ask for what they want.

And that's one thing about you. You do

ask for what you want.

Well, I've learned not easily. Not

easily. Women have a hard time asking for anything. You know what happens? I

for anything. You know what happens? I

find you could want to climb a mountain with your team. When the men are halfway up, they'll say, "I'm the king of the mountain." And they'll brag about it.

mountain." And they'll brag about it.

Women will climb all the way up, set up the tent, make sure the kids are fed, everybody's happy, and say, "I had all the help of my team to get here." Women

don't take credit. They don't ask for help. They're shy. What a waste. Open

help. They're shy. What a waste. Open

your mouth. My god. Opening your mouth gets got me everything I got. Without

opening my mouth, I would have nothing.

How many seasons have you been on church? Like you're

church? Like you're thousand like 18 something whatever out from the beginning.

So I would love to have you kind of put us right at the scene because every single pitch is a founder.

Yes.

And an idea. And Yeah. You got a sales story or not. Yes.

But when you're sitting there as an investor and a judge, Yes.

What are you evaluating?

I'm just evaluating the entrepreneur. I

couldn't give a damn about the picture of the business that they're painting.

Really?

Usually, very often, the numbers are exaggerated. Everything, you know,

exaggerated. Everything, you know, you're getting a sales pitch. I'm

looking at that entrepreneur and saying, do I believe them? And in most instances, I'm not believing the sales pitch, but now I'm looking at the person and focusing on the person as to whether

they're a capable entrepreneur. And what

I look for is something they've done in their life that was hazardous, something they did in their life that they failed miserably. They have a father who is

miserably. They have a father who is drinking, a mother who damned them to hell, something they have to prove. And

if I find that fire in them, they might not have anything but that, but I buy in because they will always be successful.

They want to get even. They haven't had a chance. They want to get even. And

a chance. They want to get even. And

that burns so deep that I believe in them and they're great partners because when the business is sold, they're so appreciative of their success, their dream come true. That's so thankful. And

it's so satisfying for me to see that full circle of success. When you are listening to a pitch, what is the difference between somebody that has that fire in their belly and they're

really confident versus somebody that is so overbearing? Well, one is, do you

so overbearing? Well, one is, do you want to spend any time with them? With

when someone's overbearing, that's the last thing I need in my life. They're

out right away. I won't say I'm out right away. I have to stay in the show.

right away. I have to stay in the show.

But, you know, I have a a simple test I do many times on Shark Tank. When I'm

not sure about the person, I think, would I put my baby in their arms and could I come back and find my baby in good shape? And that's my test. I think,

good shape? And that's my test. I think,

yeah, I would trust them so they become my partner. I make a big

my partner. I make a big an excellent way to judge anybody.

Well, it sizes everything up. How do you know if you're built to have your own business versus being somebody that should just work for somebody else and

be great at building a career inside somebody else's company?

I think it's a real dividing line. I

think someone in their own business loves risk. They're not afraid of the

loves risk. They're not afraid of the risk. Whether it be money, people, what

risk. Whether it be money, people, what they do with their day, their ideas that they have, they're not afraid of risk.

It turns them on. It's kind of like a trait in their personality. And I think someone who's good in business has a good time getting back up. It's almost

like a jack in the box. If you're the type that says, "Hit me again. I'm a

jerk. Hit me again." Chances are you should be an entrepreneur. But if you're not enjoying risk and you can't take a hit, you're better off working for somebody else. It's hard to develop that

somebody else. It's hard to develop that skill in you if you don't have it.

I think you either have it or not.

Yeah, I I do agree with you on that.

I do.

That's what I'm trying to size up on Shark Tank all the time. Do people have those two skills? How do you figure that out? I asked them, you know, we have an

out? I asked them, you know, we have an hour and a half on Shark Tank. Like,

really? That's how long the pitch is?

It's 8 minutes at home, but it's an hour and a half on Shark Tank in real time.

Wow.

So, we get a chance to ask them all kinds of questions that don't make good TV, but are very good for us as investors. And I le What did you do

investors. And I le What did you do before? What did you think about that?

before? What did you think about that?

Did that feel? Oh, how did you feel about that failure? What did you do after that? So, I'm trying to find

after that? So, I'm trying to find someone who's strong, who's capable of running a business. And someone who put all their bets on their business, and they lost, what do I care? That's a good sign. They're willing to put all their

sign. They're willing to put all their bet on one business and they lost. I

love it. But a guy who's telling me he's going to go back to mom and pond and get family and friends financing again and he's going to change direction means they're going to lose you money again. I

hate that kind of stuff. I never invest in rich kids. I always invest in poor people on Shark Tank because they have a burn in their belly on something to prove and they're my kind of people and I want to give them the opportunity that

I was given. I mean, the one ticket that they might have their dream come true and I can make it happen is much more exciting than putting myself in line with the rich parents who funded the

first business. Forget it. What are some

first business. Forget it. What are some of your favorite things that you've invested in?

My favorite entrepreneurs, and it's always about the entrepreneurs, not the businesses. I almost forget at times

businesses. I almost forget at times what business they're in even though I'm helping them all the time is the cousins main lobster. I love those guys because

main lobster. I love those guys because the day they came on Shark Tank. They

lied to me and I love them for the lie.

They What did they lie? They told me what their sales were per month, but they never told me they were only in business for a week. I thought I was buying into a big business. No, I was not. It was

just one little lobster truck and they had been only open one weekend. But they

had taken all the questions from Shark Tank for three years and they had practiced answering them and they were slick. They could sell. I love them and

slick. They could sell. I love them and had to buy them. What is your three-month rule? After 3 months, when I

three-month rule? After 3 months, when I close on a deal on Shark Tank, I invite the entrepreneur into my office and we review where he's going to go with their business. That's always the time when

business. That's always the time when something goes wrong. The prototype

didn't come in right. The order was promised that wasn't delivered.

Something goes wrong. So, I just sit there and ask, "What do you think about what went wrong?" And the people who blame somebody else, I drop. I mean, I they stole my money, but I take their

picture off the wall or I turn it upside down more often. But the people who take it in the chest and take the blame that they should have thought of this or they should have anticipated and they I know they're going to be successful because

those are the people who are always successful. The people are honest and

successful. The people are honest and say, "I'm in charge. I should have been in in charge of this and I'm taking the blame.

I agree. Let's talk about preparation because you and I are both people that will outwork anybody. Preparation.

Preparation. Preparation. Why is that such an underrated habit and skill to understand

that overpreparing is a key to being successful? Do you

know why? I think when you overprepare, you don't realize it, but you're building your confidence. And when you build your confidence, you come across more naturally, more believably, and you

usually get the order. I've overprepared

for everything in my life. I remember

going and speaking with the Corkran Group agents at junctures along the way where I had cold sores over both my lips cuz I was so nervous preparing for two weeks for an 1-hour presentation

to people who work for you.

Yes, they did. They were going to accept whatever I said, but I wanted to impress them. I wanted them to be motivated. How

them. I wanted them to be motivated. How

will I do it? Will I say it this way, that way? I had to go on vacation right

that way? I had to go on vacation right after as a salesman or what? I would

have had a heart attack. But I

overprepared so I could stand up there with confidence. And did I come across

with confidence. And did I come across with confidence? You betcha. Did I cover

with confidence? You betcha. Did I cover all the millions of points I wanted to cover? No. Did I motivate them? Motivate

cover? No. Did I motivate them? Motivate

everybody there? Yes, I did. Because I

was confident. They wanted to be me. And

you were confident because you prepared.

And I think it's such an important story because here these are people that work for you.

Yeah.

And you're not winging it. You're

preparing because it matters to you and you want to do a good job.

Well, the more you know people, the more difficult it is to impress them because you take it more personally. You know,

one of the things I'm curious about is, you know, having such a big public career and being somebody who's so competitive and entrepreneurial.

How have you been able to have successful romantic relationships, marriage, when you're out in the world? This is

something a lot a lot of women navigate these days. Like, how do you balance

these days. Like, how do you balance Barbara out there in the world versus Barbara the mom and Barbara the wife?

Honestly, it's probably the largest challenge to a successful woman. Now, I

married Bill in a second marriage and he was the right husband. Bill is Bill.

He's not going to change whether he's talking to a porper or a pope. Bill is

Bill. And when I got really heady at times, he would squeeze my head in and tell me to keep it in. Don't get too confident. So, I loved him for that. But

confident. So, I loved him for that. But

the thing that worked the best out of everything I tried was getting a separate bedroom honestly and getting a separate bed from Bill cuz I would invite him in and it added the romance into the marriage. And that's really the

best advice I could give. It's really

hard to be powerful and have a man who's not deasculated. You have to pick the

not deasculated. You have to pick the right guy.

It's so true.

You know, my my husband Bill would call me and pretend he was a New York Times reporter if he wanted to speak with me.

I so expertly separated business from home. You wouldn't dare call me when I'm

home. You wouldn't dare call me when I'm working and my kids didn't dare call me unless they were dying and then I would hear from them. I don't think they ever died. But likewise at home, people at

died. But likewise at home, people at work would never call me at home. It's

my family time. So separating the two pieces was the only way I survived. And

I didn't do a great job of it, but I did the best job I could. I'd love to talk a little bit more about your just insights about women and success

and being successful because there is a lot of pressure.

There is bias in the workplace, but you have always seemed to just pick yourself up, shake it off, and plow forward regardless of what was going on around you. You built one of the most

you. You built one of the most successful real estate businesses in a maledominated business. How do you want

maledominated business. How do you want women to think about both the very real things that are against us in terms of the way the business is structured, but

the opportunity that that creates and what kind of mindset you need to have?

Well, you know, there's always real things against you, but I did it a little differently than most. I never

thought of myself as a woman. Not a

single day did I think of myself as a woman. I thought of myself as a

woman. I thought of myself as a competitor. just like a man. I was a

competitor. just like a man. I was a competitor and I was going to put you under the table without a doubt by the time I finished. All right? So, not

having that liability or thinking I was weak or had a disadvantage of some kind or of another was an advantage to me.

You know, I'll say that when we started this podcast, I had my own goal. I'm

like, "Okay, I want to be the number one ranked female podcaster in the world."

But what happened is a friend of mine said, "Well, why female? Why not just number one?

And then I was like comment actually, yeah, why am I putting myself in a category? Why am I not just saying no, I'm going to go out and be number

one, which I'm proud to say we were for 81 days last year.

And I just you limit yourself in that regard. And I see so many women. I was

regard. And I see so many women. I was

doing it to myself doing that. Like I'm

only just a mom or I'm only going to be able to compete against women or I'm only limited to this amount of success because I'm thinking about it in a certain way.

Yeah.

How does thinking about you just going out and competing? It freed me because when the boys would ignore me, I could have done two things. I could have said, "Oh, they're not being respectful cuz

I'm a female and there's all men in this room." That would only make me weak. I

room." That would only make me weak. I

take my chips and go home. But when I stood there and said, "You'll be sorry.

I'm going to out compete you and I'm going to take your bacon." That was a whole different I conducted myself differently. I acted differently.

differently. I acted differently.

Imagine how different it would have been if I said, "Treat me with disrespect cuz I'm a woman. That's unfair. How am I going to change that?" But I'm a competitor. I have the ability to get

competitor. I have the ability to get even and I did get even. Not I make it sound like a vicious thing. It's just I didn't want to be put down or curtailed against what I was capable of. So the

minute they wrote me up, boy, that fired me up. Is that what gave you the

me up. Is that what gave you the confidence to go to keep going? Cuz you

you literally started with $1,000 and built a company that you sold for what?

$66 million?

Yes.

That's a lot of money.

Cash. I wanted the cash in my pocket.

That's a lot of cash.

Yeah. It stayed in the bank for three years. I didn't spend a dime, not even

years. I didn't spend a dime, not even on a coat. No, I already had the coats by then. I was a good coat person. So,

by then. I was a good coat person. So,

was it that I'll show you that gave you the fire and the confidence? Because I

think so many people don't have the to keep going. Well, it egged me on because

keep going. Well, it egged me on because each look at me or each demeaning way they treated me was so insulting. I

wanted to get even because I was vicious and competitive by nature. But that

didn't give me the confidence to go on.

The confidence that gave me was everything I tried. Even if I tried 10 things, five would be incredible. And

they had never thought of them and they would look and say how silly until it was working. Then they all imitated me

was working. Then they all imitated me and they were too late. By the time they imitated my Corker report, which I was publishing for four years and collecting press on it and becoming the sweetheart

of the New York press, they started all publishing reports. What a joke. The

publishing reports. What a joke. The

space was taken not by a girl but by a competitor myself. And that's just the

competitor myself. And that's just the way I saw myself. I chose not to see myself as a woman ever. Well, you know, as soon as I see people imitating me, that's when I know it's time to pivot.

Yes, you're absolutely right. Which is

going to happen soon. I think it's already happening.

In fact, I'm going to start a podcast for women only. Well, I'll tell you what. I would love to have you be a

what. I would love to have you be a competitor. And here's the other thing.

competitor. And here's the other thing.

I will teach you everything that we do because I know that even if you have the formula, you still have to do it and it's very difficult and nobody's going to do it the same way you do even

if they have the formula. And I find people to be very very stingy with sharing information. And the what I've learned about business is the more generous I am

with what we're doing, what's working, the big mistakes that we've made, the bigger our business is. It's not in hiding things and being like scarce about things. It's almost like that

about things. It's almost like that philosophy that there's blocks in New York City where there's lots of restaurants and they're all successful.

Yes.

Because more restaurants bring more customers for everybody.

Yes.

Do you have a similar philosophy about You know, something happened to me as a young salesman that I never forgot. I

want to start a marketing company. So, I

went in disguise with a wig on to a competitor's office which is owned by a woman of on-site marketing company for the first time owned by a woman and I got copies of all of her forms and I

actually stole them and I went back to my office and I was fully equipped to start and go in competition and she called me on the phone in the morning. I

died. She said, "I understand you were in my office yesterday. Come over and make an appointment. I'll show you everything I know." She was so gracious.

I was so ashamed of myself and I realized what a mistake that was.

Generous people who give it away have no threat. They know they're the best.

threat. They know they're the best.

They're always the people who give it away. So, I've always been trying to be

away. So, I've always been trying to be gracious to imitate that one time experience that I had.

I hadn't thought about the fact that when you're generous, it's because you have confidence in what you're doing, so you're not threatened by what other people are doing. for somebody that's feeling like they're too old. I mean,

you uh you know, your mom at 46, you found the most success in your career.

Well, actually, in your 50s, 60, 70, like you're continue, you're not slowing down.

I hope not.

No. What gave you the courage? And how

can somebody else find the courage if they're at a point in their life where they're hearing you? cuz I know a lot of daughters and sons are going to be listening to this, sending this to mom,

saying, "Hey, mom, 50 or 60 years old, you're not old. Get going. Listen to

Barbara."

Like, how do you muster up the permission or the courage to go for something when you've already always pushed yourself into a certain role, you know? You know, I think the times where

know? You know, I think the times where I was stopped or hesitated about trying something new, it was because I was afraid of failing and I was afraid of a as life went on more of a public

failure. I didn't want to get out there

failure. I didn't want to get out there and let everybody see me fail. And you

can't help when you're scared to think you're going to fail. It might not be real, but you think you're going to fail. What I learned as a young woman,

fail. What I learned as a young woman, nobody was watching, and nobody gave a damn. They admired me for trying. So,

damn. They admired me for trying. So,

all you want to do is get the brownie points for trying, getting out there, and getting going. Your kids aren't going to love you less. Your friends

aren't going to say, "Oh, poor her."

They're going to admire you for it. Even

if you fall flat on your face. But I

think you really just have to get out there. I mean, so many people just don't

there. I mean, so many people just don't get out there when they have a dream and what they want to do, just get out there and you'll find all the answers usually.

But even if you fail, what's so bad about that? I remember I used to ask

about that? I remember I used to ask myself constantly, "What happens if I fail?" And I would say, well, I could

fail?" And I would say, well, I could always get the job as a waitress at the Fort Le Diner again. I was happy then.

That got me to do a lot of stuff in the early years cuz I knew I could be a waitress again. I was a great waitress.

waitress again. I was a great waitress.

I could go back there. So, I don't really think there's much to be afraid of. The worst that happens is you go

of. The worst that happens is you go home. Big deal. You're back where you

home. Big deal. You're back where you were. You lost nothing really. And if

were. You lost nothing really. And if

you think you lose face, you don't.

People admire you for trying things.

They just do. They don't hold a failure against you. You hold it against

against you. You hold it against yourself, though. It's so true.

yourself, though. It's so true.

What a waste of time.

What a waste of a life. What a waste of a life. Isn't that true? Yes. What are

a life. Isn't that true? Yes. What are

you most excited about right now going forward? What I'll do for my next

forward? What I'll do for my next business? I feel like there's a next

business? I feel like there's a next business in the offing. And I can feel it in my bones. And as usual, I don't know what it is, but I know it's going to show me the face. So, I'm looking

around every corner and I feel something good every day. But you know that Maria song on Westside Story? That's how I feel like something's coming. So,

something good. But what it is, I don't know. Oh, I love that as just an

know. Oh, I love that as just an attitude about life. Well, it is what life is about. There's always something around a corner if you're curious enough to take a peek. Always something around

the corner.

You are so cool. Sometimes talk to my husband, Bill. He wouldn't always agree

husband, Bill. He wouldn't always agree with you.

Well, neither would my husband, Chris.

Oh, good. If you had to distill down everything that you have shared with us today.

Oh boy.

And there is like one takeaway that you think is the most important thing for the person who's been with us listening to just take away from this. What would

it be?

Always the same. You're much more capable than you think you are. I don't

care who you are, who's listening, you're more capable than you think you are. You just have to think that way and

are. You just have to think that way and find out what it is. Really, I hate people wasting their life on what they're not really liking.

It's such It's sad cry. It does. It It

makes me It's why I do this.

It's really why I do this because I feel like the biggest thing that I'm trying to change is the discouragement that people feel that makes them never

do or try anything that makes their life better.

Yes, I agree with you.

That's kind of like what I'm doing on Shark Tank.

Yes.

Yes. Same kind of thing. Farber Corkran,

what are your parting words?

I think to waste a life is such a shame.

To have a dream about what you may have been, what you could be, what you didn't grab a hold of, and what you regret is such a waste of time. It's just a now.

And just think about how many years you have left to be the new you. The new

you. You might say, "I could never do that." Well, you're a mistake and you

that." Well, you're a mistake and you can do it. If I from New Jersey, a poor kid, could become the queen of real estate. That's perfect proof that you

estate. That's perfect proof that you could really become anything you want to be. Anything. There's no barrier.

be. Anything. There's no barrier.

Nobody's in control of you but you.

That's all. That sounds hokey though when you say that, right?

I don't think it does.

No. Okay, good. Cuz I do feel that way, but it sounds like Why do Why do you feel it sounds hokey?

Because I feel I've heard it all before and it sounds like rahrh. I'm not doing a rahrh. I'm doing a reality check on

a rahrh. I'm doing a reality check on what really is possible and what's not.

And because I see it as real, it hurts me so much. When people don't really accomplish it for themselves when they desire it.

Yes.

It just seems wrong. Just seems wrong that they should have a life that's fulfilling and have a life that's exactly the way they want it to be. And

I really do believe people could just make their life what they want. I do

too. And I I like I don't think it's hokey at all. I think it's the most important thing you could say. And the

reason why is you and I have done it.

Yes. So we have the right to say it, I guess. And we also know how it's a

guess. And we also know how it's a matter of stepping through something that you've erected in front of your ability

to just start trying and to have the clarity to say, you know what, I'm tired of the way my life feels. I want it to be like this and I'm going to just wake up every day and do something to walk

toward that until I freaking get there.

And you're right about doing something to walk toward it. Most people find it insurmountable like how could I ever get to be it's not that it's the first baby step is everything that counts and then

the next baby step and the next baby step. It's believing a step at a time.

step. It's believing a step at a time.

It just never comes overnight. You know,

it never does. And what I also love that you said over and over is you can always go back to where you are. You could

always go back. What's the worst that could happen? If you could do that, you

could happen? If you could do that, you can do it. Absolutely. The worst that could happen is that you never tried.

Yeah. Barbara Corkin, thank you so much.

I love you. You're the best.

I love you back.

And I love you. I love you for making the time to listen to something that can help you see a bigger possibility for your life and help you achieve the

dreams that you have. I hope you really took to heart what Barbara said. What a

waste of a life if you just sit back and think about what you want. Take

everything that you learned and get out there, follow the rules that Barbara taught you, and do it. And in case no one else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love

you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life.

And it would be a waste if you didn't get out there and try to create a better life. I really hope you do. All righty.

life. I really hope you do. All righty.

I will be waiting for you in the very next episode. I'm going to welcome you

next episode. I'm going to welcome you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there. All righty. Thank you for

there. All righty. Thank you for watching all the way to the end here on YouTube. I really love being here with

YouTube. I really love being here with you. Thank you for sharing this episode

you. Thank you for sharing this episode with everybody in your life who needs a little Barbara Corkran. And one more thing, if that subscription light is lit up, it means you're not a subscriber.

So, here's my ask of you. Please hit

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you who watch the Mel Robbins Podcast on YouTube are subscribers and that way you don't miss a thing. So, thank you for doing that for me. I really appreciate it. All right, the next video you're

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