The Truth About Building a Great Team: The Science Behind Why Most Teams Fail

Welcome to the Dr. Leaf Show, everyone.

And I'm so thrilled to have John back again. John and I go back a while. We've

again. John and I go back a while. We've

interviewed each other a few times and always have we always just have lovely conversations. And we both know Craig

conversations. And we both know Craig Seagull. He's a mutual friend and we've

Seagull. He's a mutual friend and we've been on his in his Instagram lives together. So, we kind of really

together. So, we kind of really complement each other in the work that we do. John, you're a prolific writer. I

we do. John, you're a prolific writer. I

mean, I thought I wrote a lot of books.

I've written 19. You've written 32.

You've written kids books. And you've

got a new one coming out, The Seven Commitments of a Great Team. I love

that. So, John, welcome. And just tell our audience a little bit about who you are and what you do, and then we'll dive into your new book.

>> Sure. Yes. The Seven Commitments of a Great Team. It just came out. It was my

Great Team. It just came out. It was my book, and I really believe it's my my favorite book I've written. It's my best book. I feel like I've been writing this

book. I feel like I've been writing this book for 54 years. That's how long it took to write this book because it's a collection of my experiences. And it all started with me back in the day growing

up in Long Island, New York. I went to college to play lacrosse in college at Cornell University. Had incredible

Cornell University. Had incredible experience there. And I say that because

experience there. And I say that because Coach Richie was my coach and he's also the main character in in my book, The Seven Commitments of a Great Team. Coach

Richie really impacted me in incredible ways. So I get done with college. I'm

ways. So I get done with college. I'm

trying to find my way. Caroline, I

actually opened up a bar in Buckhead when I was 24 years old. I got some investors together, opened up this bar after I got my masters in teaching. So,

I taught for a year and then I went into the And then I went into the bar business after teaching for a year.

>> I love it. You needed to drink after teaching, did you?

>> Exactly. Exactly. And but I but I consider myself a teacher to this day.

You're a teacher, I believe, as well.

And and we teach.

>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously you're a scientist and and so much more, but but you're also a teacher teaching us about our brain, about our mind, about our health, and and everything that we need to know to live better lives, to live

more optimally. And so, in many ways,

more optimally. And so, in many ways, I'm a teacher of positive leadership.

But this is ironic for me because I grew up in many ways negative and I had to work at being positive. And so my family was often negative growing up and I had to learn how to be positive because my

wife was going to leave me at 31 years old. I had

old. I had >> wow >> sold the bar and then eventually a couple other restaurants that we had.

Sold them back to my partners. I went to go work for this.com where I thought I was going to make my fortune. And then I lost my job during the dot crash in 2001. And I'm being really negative. I'm

2001. And I'm being really negative. I'm

really fearful. I'm miserable. I'm

negative. and and I'm blaming my wife for why I have not lived up to my dreams, why I have not reached my potential. And that was wrong of me to

potential. And that was wrong of me to do. And she had enough of my negativity.

do. And she had enough of my negativity.

Said, "If if you don't change, we're over." And that was this huge wakeup

over." And that was this huge wakeup call for me because she was about to walk out the door.

>> And I in that moment said, "I will change. I will work on myself. I will

change. I will work on myself. I will

become more positive." I was dealing with depression and anxiety and fear and worry and not being enough. And I had these issues of the past that I had not dealt with in terms of of fear, anxiety,

abandonment. My biological father left

abandonment. My biological father left when I was a year old. So I had all these past issues that I hadn't healed or dealt with, right? Wounds of the mind and the soul that we we talk about. Yes.

>> And and when she threatened to leave, it really forced me to look at myself and say, I need to get better. So I began researching all these ways I could be more positive. And this was during the

more positive. And this was during the emerging field of positive psychology.

And so I began practicing some of these ideas I was reading about. And then I came up with my own because in many ways I'm a coach teacher that takes these concepts and then applies it to how we can implement that in our lives. And I

began doing some of the things like one was you can't be stressed and thankful.

So I began taking these walks of gratitude every day. I called thank you walks. So every day I was walking saying

walks. So every day I was walking saying what I was thankful for on the walk.

Within a week, I noticed a difference in my spirit, my soul, my mind. I felt

better. My wife noticed a difference.

Within a month, big difference. And over

time, I was doing those walks every single day, noticing greater and greater results and happiness. But I still had a lot of angst in my soul in a lot of ways. And that forced me to do a lot of

ways. And that forced me to do a lot of spiritual work. And then began praying

spiritual work. And then began praying on those walks. And so the walks of gratitude and prayer really began to shape and change my spirit and how I

viewed the world and everything. And

from there I began writing about what I was doing in my own life and sharing these via a e newswsletter, a weekly positive tip back in 2002. I began these

weekly positive tips. People were not doing that back in the day and and people started to read those tips and started to share them. And that led me to then begin begin writing books and

speaking because people started to ask for for more. And then I wrote the energy bus in 2006 came out in 2007.

That's still my most popular book. The

energy bus which is all about fueling your life work and team with positive energy. I took positive psychology wo it

energy. I took positive psychology wo it into a story combined it with some universal truths and spirituality. Wrote

the book in three and a half weeks. Wow.

That book has now sold over three and a half million copies. And that book changed my life because people started reading it, bringing me to speak to their companies, their organizations. I

speak to a lot of corporate companies, a lot of sports teams, which I love to do, a lot of healthcare organizations and school districts. So, I get to work with

school districts. So, I get to work with a lot of different leaders from all walks of life. And and that's who I am.

That's what I do. I mean, I should say that's what I do. Who I am is a father, a husband, and someone who is really here to develop positive leaders and make a positive impact.

>> And you play pickle ball. I saw that, too.

>> Oh, big big big time pickle ball, competitive pickle ball player. And a

lot of people don't expect me to be good, but they don't know that I was a division one athlete. And so when I get on the court, I'm I'm a pretty good pickle ball.

>> Good for you. I've never played it and never even tried to play it. It just

sounds so funny, pickle ball. But I'm so glad that you found that that it's good exercise and you love it. Great with

hand speed, great with the great great great it's like tennis and raet ball combined with squash and like it's it's a lot of fun. You play doubles and the ball comes at you quick and it's

actually research shows it enhances your longevity. The the kind of racket sport

longevity. The the kind of racket sport it is enhances your longevity and your your health.

>> That makes so much sense cuz I used to be a big tennis player and squash used to play squash and those they they are so good for your mind and your brain and your body. So that's amazing. Wow. This

your body. So that's amazing. Wow. This

is I mean you just walked through like a whole lot of years and you of of of experiences and I love this. I remember

you talking before to me about the thankful walk how you started that. I

mean that really was a trigger point in your life and with your wife turning around saying if you don't change you know and it's so good to have that experience of someone in your life who says something and then you either can

run with that and go in one direction or you can ignore that and go land up going in another direction. So I'm so pleased that you took that. I think there's a lesson for us all to be learned, which is obviously what people love to learn

from you is when when these things hit us, when someone says something to us like that. We've got a choice and the

like that. We've got a choice and the choice is going to be to change or to stay the same. And that's not going to be get well get we never really stay the same. We just get worse or we get

same. We just get worse or we get better. So, I love that you listened to

better. So, I love that you listened to her and you made a decision and you did something simple. You decided to do a

something simple. You decided to do a thank a thankful walk. I mean that it's not like you did some huge scientific study or you did something that was you know the biohacking movement and wellness movement now you can get overwhelmed by the amount of things that

you need to be doing. You did something simple go for a walk and be thankful on the walk. So let me ask you about that

the walk. So let me ask you about that thankful walk and then I want to dive into your into your book. So did you go in with the intention I'm going to walk now and my intention is I'm going to not allow myself to think anything negative.

I'm just going to find things to be thankful for. Was that the goal of the

thankful for. Was that the goal of the walk? The goal of the walk was to walk

walk? The goal of the walk was to walk and while I was walking to identify things I was thankful for and then to speak those things out loud. And it was to start with the small things and move

towards bigger things. So I'm thankful I can walk. I'm thankful for the ground

can walk. I'm thankful for the ground that I'm walking on right now. I'm

thankful for the grass that's growing right over there. I'm thankful for those beautiful trees. I'm thankful that I

beautiful trees. I'm thankful that I that I'm healthy. I'm thankful for my kids even though they may be driving me crazy right now, but I'm thankful for them. I'm thankful for my wife. I'm

them. I'm thankful for my wife. I'm

thankful that I have a roof over my head. I'm thankful for the restaurant

head. I'm thankful for the restaurant that I that I have right now and that I own and even though it's not going great right now, I'm thankful for that. So, I

would literally just start with small things and then move to bigger things.

And over time, you know, the bigger things I realized were so often the result of just being grateful. Like the

more I was grateful, the more I found things to be grateful about. I became a gratitude magnet. And so the more you're

gratitude magnet. And so the more you're grateful, it just comes back to you in in incredible ways. And that changed my psyche, my soul. And again, because you can't be stressed and thankful at the

same time as I'm practicing gratitude, I'm also keeping the stress away. So I'm

flooding my brain and body with the positive emotions that uplift me rather than the stress hormones that slowly drain me. And you you know this from a

drain me. And you you know this from a neurob biology standpoint. And when I'm doing that, I'm creating a fertile mind that is ready for great things to happen. And so I was literally by being

happen. And so I was literally by being grateful, I'm now like expecting and attracting great things into my life. So

all of a sudden my fortune started to change. Things started to align. Things

change. Things started to align. Things

started to to happen. People showed up.

It's incredible how I can see when I look back. It was the most important

look back. It was the most important thing, the best thing I've ever done in my life. And every book I've written,

my life. And every book I've written, all 32 books have come from those walks.

>> That's phenomenal. So two questions I want to ask you around what you've just said and the the the one is um let me say it like this there. How was it the very first time that you started that?

Did you find it difficult the first day?

What was that experience? Cuz people

will say that's fine. We hear about being grateful and I love how you've described it but it's not easy if you've been negative or if you're in a bad place. So can you talk about like the

place. So can you talk about like the first time it started and then when your first time you started? How difficult

was it and how did you manage that? what

did you do to start changing? And then

the second thing that is is just I've actually got a question. You interviewed

me and we were talking about the fact that um when we manage our the sort of toddler mind, we step into the parent mind and we access wisdom. That's kind

of what you done when you said there that you opened up and suddenly all these people came in your life and things were happening. Well, you found you opened up the doorway literally through gratitude and being thankful and

shifting your mindset to the possibilities within our spiritual realm in our non-concious mind. and you

started activating all of those and finding them, but it wasn't just an instant overnight thing, which comes back to our first question. It's very

hard at first. So, let's talk about that hard journey and how you got through it and what advice can you give someone who's maybe where you were whatever 30 odd years ago.

>> I'm so glad you asked that and I know that you actually have this experience.

It's a little intimidating talking to someone who's had so much experience, so much scientific research and knows this, but but you recognize that it was hard and you knew it would be and it was hard

initially. It felt very awkward. It's

initially. It felt very awkward. It's

like you get in the car every single day >> and that radio station you've been listening to years to years is automatically on and all of a sudden you're now changing to a new station, but you're not ready for that new

station. It's weird to hear that new

station. It's weird to hear that new station because you've been programmed and tuned into this other radio station for a while. So, the key is you got to keep on listening to the new station. At

first, the gratitude walks were very awkward. It felt very weird. Like, what

awkward. It felt very weird. Like, what

am I doing? Like, come on. Like, I'm

really going to do this. Like, I don't even feel grateful right now. So, I

didn't feel grateful. You sort of feel like a fraud. You feel like an imposttor.

>> Fraud. Yeah. I was going to say you feel like a fraud.

>> Imposttor. Anyone listening? anyone

watching me, >> right? And what am I doing? And my

>> right? And what am I doing? And my

neighbors are watching and I'm talking and I'm saying this out loud. But but I just told myself just keep doing it because I knew it felt weird because I hadn't done it before. I had to build up

the gratitude muscle. But yes, at first it was very weird and I tell people when they want to do this, it's not going to feel normal at first because you're not used to it. But the more you do it, the

more normal it'll become. So that's what I did day in and day out. It started to feel more and more normal. But it took probably a few weeks before it started to feel normal after the first time.

>> Couple of months.

>> Couple of months.

>> A few weeks even it started to feel more normal after a few but about few months it felt like okay this is now a part of me and I'm probably going to do this for the rest of my life because I would come

back and I was tuning into that higher frequency of positivity of love that greater spiritual realm you're talking about instead of the lower frequency.

Gratitude connects you to yourself, to others, and spiritually to God. When you

are ungrateful and you're constantly complaining, that disconnects you from yourself, from others, and from God, and spiritually from the greater consciousness. So, I'm I'm convinced

consciousness. So, I'm I'm convinced that those gratitude walks, as you said, opened me up. But yes, it felt weirder at first. Just like anything, if you

at first. Just like anything, if you start lifting weights that first day and you haven't lifted in your life or you haven't lifted in 10 years, it's going to be weirder first. If you try that new

habit or that new exercise, it's going to be weird at first. I remember trying to play tennis at first as you brought up tennis. It was so weird. I didn't

up tennis. It was so weird. I didn't

even know how to swing the racket, but then you learn the stroke and you learn low to high. And as you get into that flow of tennis, all of a sudden that swing becomes second nature. Same thing

with golf. Golf is is not an easy sport.

At first, trying to swing a a golf club, very strange, but then you get used to it. Same thing with roller skating or

it. Same thing with roller skating or ice skating. So, any skill, so gratitude

ice skating. So, any skill, so gratitude is a skill and practicing it is going to take a little time. But now, years later, we're talking over 20some years.

I'm now tuned into I literally rewired my brain. So, I'm now tuned into that

my brain. So, I'm now tuned into that gratitude, into that different mindset.

And so, it's so natural for me to go there. So the guy who was always

there. So the guy who was always fearful, worried, anxious, and stressed is completely different. My friends from college, these are my teammates who I

played lacrosse with in college, can't believe what I'm doing now because I was a mental wreck in college. And they're

like, "You're the guy who now works, you now work with the greatest athletes and coaches and leaders in the planet. Like,

this is what you do." Like, yep. They

can't believe it because I was not that person back then. But I truly attribute it to these gratitude walks, walks of prayer, doing this work and also my faith. I definitely became a person of

faith. I definitely became a person of faith and that transformed me as well by praying so much.

>> Wow. So there's so many things here that I want to highlight. Thank you for sharing that and that that's I mean it's hard to even picture you being negative because I mean I've every time I've spoken to you, you're always so full of

life and energy and you know going and smiling and it's just that that's part of your nature. So you said something interesting. You said your friends from

interesting. You said your friends from college that you played lacrosse with, they didn't they didn't recognize you and that you changed. I want to throw something out there. You actually became John. You weren't John.

John. You weren't John.

>> That is a great point. I love that.

You're right. I was the worst version of me back then and I became now who I fully am and who I fully meant to be because I've always had the smile and I've had the energy. I've had there's

there was an eternal joy. You're right.

But there was always this clutter and angst and fear and worry that was always cluttering it up and clouding it up. So

the real me shines through a lot more.

That's a great point >> and that's wonderful. And you said something I really like that. And you

said something about it became part of me and it took you a few weeks and and you know from my research to change a a pattern a habit it's it's at least 6 to9 weeks or closer to 9 weeks and then it

becomes part of you. toward you and that that was the clue when I said that you just became John. It became part of you.

So, you activated the natural thing. And

this is literally what I think you're trying to tell people is it's in you.

It's what I tell people. It's in you.

But we get so clattered as you to use your word with life that we lose a lot of who we truly are. And it's you got to work at that. And gratitude was a big door opening moment for you. But now

there's more things that you've learned because you've written all these books and you've just released this other one, the seven commitments. The seven

commitments of a great team and I know gratitude is not the only one. So can

you tell us what what are these seven commitments? I want to know the next

commitments? I want to know the next installment.

>> Yes. Well, the key about commitments is that we live a life so often writing down our goals and talking about our goals. But your goals will not take you

goals. But your goals will not take you to where you want to go. Well,

>> I love that.

>> Your commitments will. What are you committed to? Your commitments lead you

committed to? Your commitments lead you to your goals. So what will you do on a daily basis? What will you commit to

daily basis? What will you commit to doing that will help you reach your goals? And as you commit and you

goals? And as you commit and you implement these commitments, you begin to see these actions ultimately change your life. And so there are seven

your life. And so there are seven commitments that we have to implement if we want to be a great team. I wrote this for relationships. I wrote this for

for relationships. I wrote this for teams, sports teams, business teams, work teams. It's all about having these commitments that allow you to be your best. And if you commit to me and I

best. And if you commit to me and I commit to you, we're going to be better together. You and your husband commit to

together. You and your husband commit to each other, you're going to have a better relationship. You commit to your

better relationship. You commit to your work team and they commit to each other, everyone's going to perform at a higher level. And it starts with the commitment

level. And it starts with the commitment to the vision and mission of the team.

Like where are we going and why are we going here? What is it that we want to

going here? What is it that we want to build? What is it that we want to

build? What is it that we want to create? And everyone commits to the

create? And everyone commits to the vision and mission. So often teams are not aligned. They don't even know the

not aligned. They don't even know the vision. they don't have a mission or

vision. they don't have a mission or each person has something different in mind. This is about creating an

mind. This is about creating an alignment that allows us to be stronger together. And then there's the commit.

together. And then there's the commit.

>> I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I want to stress something that you said and I want everyone to get this this point that you made. You said here goals.

Everyone's so focused on goals. And I'm

so happy someone else is also saying please just, you know, stop the goals talk.

>> Yes.

>> You know, let's get the and I didn't I don't use the word commitment. You've

actually I love how you've said seven commitments. That's so powerful to

commitments. That's so powerful to actually because everyone let's have a meeting on our goals. Actually, it's

what are we going to commit to? This is

the vision, but what are we going to commit to to get to that point? So, I'd

love to know more about this. Can you

explain what those it's obviously seven commitments that you feel are fundamental? Could you tell us what

fundamental? Could you tell us what those seven are?

>> Well, real quick on that, what I had a team do one time was I had them had them write down their goals and then I made them rip it up and they're like, "Why why are we ripping up our goals? You

just had us write us write them down." I

said, "Because everyone has the same goals as you." Everyone right now in every room, cuz this was a sports team, has a goal of winning a championship.

Can every team win a championship? No.

You have a goal to win a championship, but not every team can win one. Only one

wins one. So, will your goals take you to where you want to go? No. Well, your

commitments will. So, then we discuss their commitments. And some guys are

their commitments. And some guys are like, "All right, I'm going to commit to exercising more and working out more."

Another guy was like, "I'm going to commit to eating right because my body often breaks down because I don't have a healthy diet." Another guy committed to

healthy diet." Another guy committed to more recovery time. I'm going to commit to recovery time to get get my body back in shape so it heals faster. Another guy

said, "I'm going to watch more film. I'm

going to commit to that in order to get better." The conversation changed

better." The conversation changed completely because now we're talking about >> So interesting.

>> Yeah. Things that they're going to do that will then take you to your goal.

So, it's the process of doing it daily that ultimately leads to their bigger goal. So, I want to change the

goal. So, I want to change the conversation. And I believe this book is

conversation. And I believe this book is definitely going to change the conversation where we don't just talk about goals. It's it's okay to talk

about goals. It's it's okay to talk about goals. Here's what I say. Goals

about goals. Here's what I say. Goals

are great, but commitments lead you to greatness. Goals will not take you to

greatness. Goals will not take you to greatness, but commitments will take you to greatness. So, as a team, we commit

to greatness. So, as a team, we commit to the vision and mission. We commit to giving our best to being our best.

You're not always going to be 100%, but you can always give 100% of what you have, which is important. That's very

good. Just say that again. I like that.

>> You're not always going to be at 100%.

You might be at 60%. 70%. Caroline,

sometimes you're going to give a speech and you don't feel like you're at 100%.

I don't at times, but we can always give 100% of what we have. That's the key to ultimately being a great teammate and committing to being our best. There's

the commitment to getting better. It

sounds so cliche, but it's true. We have

to commit to getting better individually and collectively. And how do we do that?

and collectively. And how do we do that?

Three questions. Three questions that every individual, every team should ask every day. What did we do well? What can

every day. What did we do well? What can

we do better? What did we learn that will make us better? And if you just ask those three questions on a daily basis, you're going to get get better individually and you're going to get

better collectively by focusing on those questions. Now, the other key is

questions. Now, the other key is >> we do better.

>> Yeah. And what did we learn that will make us better?

>> What what did we learn that will make us better? I love it. I hope they all got

better? I love it. I hope they all got everyone got those questions that will make us better. Got it.

>> And then the other part about being a great team together is you have to make each other better. And you know what that includes? A lot of love, support,

that includes? A lot of love, support, and accountability. This is where most

and accountability. This is where most don't implement the process to be a great team. They don't challenge each

great team. They don't challenge each other. You do have to challenge each

other. You do have to challenge each other. There are moments and times where

other. There are moments and times where you have to challenge each other in order to grow. And because you love someone, you're not going to let them settle for anything but doing their best. If you have kids, you know that

best. If you have kids, you know that you have to challenge them at times, but first they have to know you love them.

So, you have to earn the right to challenge them by building a great relationship, by connecting, by supporting, by encouraging. But then

when you see someone not performing well or not giving their best or not living up to the standards or they're just going through the motions, that's where you challenge them and say, "Hey, what's going on? Here's what we expect from you

going on? Here's what we expect from you and here's where your performance is and we know that you can do and accomplish so much more, but you're not. So what do you need from us to help you? But also

we got to challenge you to get there and get better. And so challenging each

get better. And so challenging each other is a key part of it. And my wife will challenge me at times. I remember

when our kids were young, she said, "You need to be a better father." And I wanted to respond and say, "You need to be a better mother." But I didn't. I

wanted to help in a hurry moment. Help

in a hurry moment.

>> Yes. I I followed your advice. Help in a hurry moment. I literally regulated

hurry moment. I literally regulated myself in that moment. I said, "Okay, make me better. I'm open." 3 hours later, she was done telling me what I could do better. No, I'm just kidding.

It wasn't three hours, but maybe maybe 15 minutes. She said, she told me and I

15 minutes. She said, she told me and I implemented it and I listened and I did it. She challenged me and I followed

it. She challenged me and I followed what she said and I did it and it it did make me better. So, we need truth tellers in our lives and great teams have the difficult conversations

in order to get better. So often we don't want to have the difficult conversation because we don't want to rock the boat. We want to stay surface level. We want to stay in a like. This

level. We want to stay in a like. This

is a world of likes today on social media.

>> Amazing.

>> But but greater relationship, greater connection involves us having difficult conversations where we where we speak the truth and love, where we help each other get better. And in doing so, these

conversations lead to greater intimacy, connection, and real relationships. So,

I'm a big part I'm a big big proponent of of making sure that we're challenging each other, but having the conversations necessary to get better. And then

there's the >> John, can I can I comment on that? I I

love that because you said something that you haven't emphasized um a lot but you said it a few times and that is the challenging with kindness. You mentioned

the kindness aspect and it reminds me of some research that there's beautiful actually did a whole podcast on this the fact that when you challenge someone cuz I mean that's so good when you challenge someone it's got to be in kindness but

it's also you got to kind of couch it in you know the compliments and I don't know if you've seen the research but it actually they've shown that if you are giving someone feedback and challenging them you've got to couch it in around

about five compliments to every sort of feedback if that makes sense. So you've

got to literally and you could do it three compliments with one bit of feedback or whichever way around but the ideal sort of number is around five to yeah

>> yeah there you go and it's got to be done in kindness and authenticity. So I

just wanted to I knew you knew about that. I just wanted to stress that

that. I just wanted to stress that because people might think okay I'm going to challenge I'm going to go out there. I'm going to confront. But if

there. I'm going to confront. But if

it's not done in kindness and it's not done in the correct balance and with authenticity it doesn't go off well.

It's just going to create friction. I

don't know what you what your take is on that.

>> I love the research on that in terms of the 3:1 there's also 5:1 the ratio includes individual relationships couples and also teams. Here's the interesting thing. When the ratio goes

interesting thing. When the ratio goes to 13 to1 the team falls apart because it's not real. It's not authentic. No

one's >> too many >> confronting the real issues. So it's

almost too much positivity in essence.

>> Got to find the happy medium.

>> You got to be real and you got to be truthful. But this goes to my my

truthful. But this goes to my my favorite part of the book, I would say, is the commitment to staying positive together. And I knew you'd love this.

together. And I knew you'd love this.

>> As a as a team, we have to stay positive together through our challenges. And we

have to make that decision up front like, okay, we're embarking on a new product, a new mission, a new vision, or this work that we're doing. We're going

to commit to staying positive through those challenges, through the adversity, through the setbacks. So, I actually created five ways to stay positive for this book, and it's live. Yeah. live

light. L I G HT T which is an acronym for these five ways.

>> And the L is love instead of fear. So we

focus on love instead of fear. And the

minute we focus on love, fear dissipates. The I is inside out. Knowing

dissipates. The I is inside out. Knowing

that we create the world from the inside out. The power is not on the outside.

out. The power is not on the outside.

You have power over your circumstance.

So reminding yourself that you create and live inside out. Now each person on the team is doing this to create a collective optimism and belief and positivity of the team. The G in light

is you get to do this instead of have to. So focus on the gettos instead of

to. So focus on the gettos instead of have to which we've been hearing a lot about recently. Everyone's using the get

about recently. Everyone's using the get to versus have to. I wrote about in 2008 in the no complaining rule. Get to

versus have to. So that's important because once you focus on get to >> you focus on appreciation. And when you appreciate, you elevate your mood, your performance, and the people around you.

So get twos are key. And then the the H is have faith. So as a team, sometimes when everything's going wrong, you just got to have faith and believe that tomorrow is going to be better than today. It's essential. And you're going

today. It's essential. And you're going to love this one. The T in light is talk to yourself. Don't listen to yourself.

to yourself. Don't listen to yourself.

So everyone on the team is talking themselves with positive words of life, encouragement instead of all those negative thoughts that are coming in.

live light. And I'll leave you with this last commitment. I'm not going to share

last commitment. I'm not going to share all of them, but the last one I think is probably the most important is you commit to each other. So, as a team, there has to be a commitment to each

other that you will sacrifice for each other. And I write in the book, and it's

other. And I write in the book, and it's a fable, it's a story. And I write in the story that when you serve and sacrifice for each other, and you commit to each other, it's going to cost you

something. There is a cost to commitment

something. There is a cost to commitment but the cost of commitment means greater connection greater relationship greater accomplishment together. So I have to

accomplishment together. So I have to give you I I give you in the relationship in this commitment in this team but I also have to give up things

along the way. But as I give up and I give what happens is I gain so much more and that leads to greater collective success, greater collective growth. And

then as part of a team, you realize how special it is that we're we're made for relationship. We're made for connection.

relationship. We're made for connection.

>> Yeah. Meaningful connection. Yeah.

>> And we are made for commitment. We're

made for service and sacrifice. The

world says go and get yours, but you know the research when we serve and sacrifice and we give, we're happier, healthier, and made our quality of life so much better.

>> Exactly. There's actually research showing that um if you're in a bad place that the best way to get out of that bad place quickly is to go and do something for someone else. I mean, I'm just paraphrasing, but there's actual statistical research showing that. So,

this is wonderful. It's very exciting and very interesting and I think it's very necessary. I love the have to

very necessary. I love the have to versus go to and I mean got to and I mean have to versus get to. That's so

good. And the light thing. This is so good. John, where can people can you

good. John, where can people can you hold up your book?

>> Yes. Yes.

>> Can you hold it if people can have a look at it?

>> Yes. Hopefully they can.

>> And it's available now. So, where can people get obviously wherever books are sold? So, it's available now, isn't it?

sold? So, it's available now, isn't it?

>> It's available now. Yep. the seven

commitments of a great team. They can go to sevencommmitments.com.

to sevencommmitments.com.

That's the number7 commitments.com.

They can also go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble. And what's cool is we have a free

Noble. And what's cool is we have a free action plan we give people so they can actually use this action plan with the team to build a stronger, more united team. I wrote this book because I wanted

team. I wrote this book because I wanted teams to be stronger, more united, more connected, more committed. And the cool thing, Caroline, people are saying this is my best book. those who have read it

and read my other books, they said, "Wow, John, this is I think your best and I'm more excited about this book than ever."

than ever." >> Oh, I'm so that's wonderful. Well,

congratulations and I'm I'm so excited for you and I'm very excited what you're bringing to the table. You know, getting beyond this chase just after me me.

Let's get back into connection which we all know and you given a nice game plan and yeah, it's let's get from the me to the we what a great way to end the podcast.

Let's all get from me to we. I love it.

Sounds amazing. Well, John, thank you so much again for sharing your wisdom and for being on the show with me and it's always such a pleasure to talk to you and I always feel like I learned something. So, thank you.

something. So, thank you.

>> Well, I learned a lot from you. Thank

you Caroline.

>> Look forward to the next time. Thank you

everyone for joining us and we'll see you again next time. Thank you, John.

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