We Went to China! | The Yard

And then I would scream in the bathroom and like talk to Atriarch while I was in the toilet. But I had to hear 54. Aiden,

the toilet. But I had to hear 54. Aiden,

what's wrong?

What's wrong?

Are you okay?

We just got to get home. We might cop right now.

[ __ ] scared.

Don't be scared. We're chop.

We were going to shoot the podcast on this boat, but then we ran into some chop and it looks like the police boat right over there is telling us to to dock because there's too much chop.

It's Michelangelo.

I'm from Welcome to Where you from?

You had to tie us up. man to take us back.

There was too much chop that take us back. We're going back.

back. We're going back.

Rule one was no partying.

Rule one is no party. Rule two, we party.

Lwig will he we've hung out with him for like 5 hours right now. And he does this thing where he'll like casually he'll be like laidback and he'll like bust out this like what sounds like flawless Chinese cuz I don't know any. And then

I'm like, "Wow, he's done it." And then the person he's speaking to will just do this like Yeah.

Look at him like he's just drooled all over himself.

It's so But he gets there. Dare I say he does get there. Dude, it was so Okay.

Welcome to China.

Welcome to China.

If you saw, we were on a boat. We ran

into some chop. We're going to do an episode on literally a boat in the water.

So perfect.

We found I mean the chop found us really.

We were scrambling around all day looking for a film location. We see the boats. We're like that's going to be

boats. We're like that's going to be perfect. We get on the boats. We get

perfect. We get on the boats. We get

into the water and then the chop came.

The the So like the boat like managers, they're not cops. They just they take you to the shore if it gets too windy.

They come by and they're like yelling at us and Lwig's like talking back to him and stuff and they had like this exchange and I'm like Lwig, what do they say? He's like, "Oh, I don't know."

say? He's like, "Oh, I don't know."

They talked for what felt like 5 minutes and said, "I don't know what they said."

Walking eyes. It's not only paying attention. He's like, "Do it. Do it. Do

attention. He's like, "Do it. Do it. Do

it. Do it. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Do it.

I have mastered the art of making them think I know what they said.

And yeah.

And they they see five they see five wire get on the get on the [ __ ] lake and they activate the chop.

And what's the word? Schwagan.

What is it?

It's when you say hello to someone handsome. Five fivewaga. Get on the

handsome. Five fivewaga. Get on the lake.

What's handsome again?

Oh, right, right, right. I thought it was white guy.

Do you know that one? What's the gein equivalent?

It's not white. It's foreigner. Wiglo.

Oh, yeah. Ah.

See, okay. There's a very high possibility, high chance during this recording that we will break equipment.

Things will fly around. Something will

go wrong.

This was our last chance. So, we're

walking. We're just walking. We're like,

"Okay, figure out we these guys fly out in like a couple hours. Like, how how do we do this?" And then a man is standing in the doorway of what is the number 21 Beastro. the view and chill.

Beastro. the view and chill.

The view and chill.

A man is standing in the door with a view and chill. He's looking at us.

We're trying to figure out and he's doing this.

I literally I looked up and I saw the sign and I went, "Huh? View and chill."

And Lwig just walks in like like he couldn't have helped it. Like Like that was his sleeper agent call, dude. And shout out, they gave us a

dude. And shout out, they gave us a whole roof to film on.

Yeah.

They they cooked us up with some food. I

had happy face French fries like BJ's in California. if you come to Beijing,

California. if you come to Beijing, check out the view and chill.

She was like, she was like, you should come tomorrow. The weather's bad today.

come tomorrow. The weather's bad today.

I'm like, we're here for one day. And

then she just laughed at me. I was like, yeah, you're lucky.

And then Lewig's using Chad GPT to have a conversation with this woman, which is immediately a surrendering. Well, you

don't get to see that on tipto cuz he doesn't have a phone. He's using and then the Chad GPT guy in the phone is like, "Sorry, you've ran out of tokens for today."

for today." He's just like, "Okay." He's like, "I thought I had pro. My name is Aiden Calvin. I'm going to Sam Olman.

Calvin. I'm going to Sam Olman.

No, no, no, no. It's me. I'm going to do that. You don't need to make a joke of

that. You don't need to make a joke of it. I'll do that.

it. I'll do that.

Say, it's good to be back.

It's good to be back.

And I And I love that we're all here together.

We are back, bro.

This This trip This trip has been a [ __ ] disaster.

Has been a disaster, bro.

Speak for yourselves.

This disaster is a nominal trip. We we

had phenomenal trips, but once we came together became a disaster.

They they uploaded an episode of Lemonade Stand on was it was it Billy Billy?

Uh the Bill somebody ripped the episode and then they translated translated it and uploaded it in like three different parts.

Were they calling you bald too?

H bald.

No, he No, he blends right in here. I'

I've been walking around. You actually

have You have like maybe the longest hair, dude. I don't translate it. It's like

dude. I don't translate it. It's like

the tall the tall gayl looking one makes some great points.

He seems to be the soul of this podcast.

There was one guy. I'm I'm like scrolling through Billy Billy comments translating them to see what they have to say and see if there's any haters on the Chinese side of the internet. There

are. It turns out there are.

His haters are funny though. I've seen

the comments on Tip to Tip and it's like it says like he is like a calm ape or something like that. Like they have like very like funny things that they're calling you.

They've been calling me Captain America.

That's good. They've been calling me Jim Carrey.

Dude, I I found it something [ __ ] hilarious. There's a nickname for the

hilarious. There's a nickname for the people like the kids on social media that try to circumvent the sensors. And

because League was it was or is so popular here. A lot of League

popular here. A lot of League terminology is like just leaked into everyday life, especially online. And

they call the people that like try to tow the line around the sensors and figure out what you can and can't say tower divers.

Oh my god, that's clever.

That's clever.

That's good.

Do you think if I did tip to tip maybe with like Nick we I could they make call me volie bear you guys. So I watched your vlog. Yeah.

you guys. So I watched your vlog. Yeah.

Were you upset with that we kind of did it better?

First of all, it's not a vlog. It was

definitely some other [ __ ] Some [ __ ] We don't even know that [ __ ] It was vlog and you guys wouldn't last 3 days.

Do you see us hatch the plan without first off great plans? I love

them.

The plans were good, but you guys are just getting scammed left and right. Like, you did not get scammed. What are you talking about?

scammed. What are you talking about?

You need a friend. Is that could that possibly be a scam?

You don't know how to haggle. You don't

even consider doing how to haggle.

Literally, are you kidding me?

No, you didn't.

Those Ray-B bands were really Have you seen the ASAP Rocky Ray-B band collaboration?

Yes. And do you realize that I got $1,000 Hong Kong dollars off?

Is that a big number to you?

You think about that part, bro? It's like you see you see the

bro? It's like you see you see the price, it goes minus 89%. You're like,

that's a good deal.

It's better deal.

Happy 5 days into rural China, broken men with Rolexes covering their arms. No money left and like a cyborg.

Mick struggling to see why no one has a vanilla latte for him. It's just

It's actually been quite the opposite.

They got vanilla lattes. He's been to Hong Kong and Beijing.

He's been to Hong Kong and Beijing.

Yeah. I have I brutally verbally beat down a woman from $3 to $1.

That was Yeah, that was unbelievable fighting her.

You imagine telling that woman how much money you make in your It ain't and it ain't about that. She would respect it cuz it ain't about how much you have.

It's about how much you know that's worth. Dude, he Lwick said he haggled

worth. Dude, he Lwick said he haggled the guy who gave him a ride here and the guy was just complaining about it to himself while while driving. He was like I do

love the game. He's like I'll give you a rickshaw ride 50 you want? He's like $8.

And I was like I was like I was like 30 I can't do more than 30. And he goes is he goes 40? I go and I walk away and he goes 30 is fine. 30 is fine.

Let's go. The walk away is is level one barter move.

And then he's in the rickshine. Don't I

I make the locals pay 50, but I paid him 50 after. I paid him 50.

I do have these scenarios where we were we were taking the the car like DD's at the beginning of our trip and we were getting like 30 minute rides for like 25

yuan, which is like [ __ ] $3. And I'm

like starting to do the math like the cut out of like his pay on this his time. I feel like guilty doing it. It

time. I feel like guilty doing it. It

doesn't It doesn't make me We've gotten So the Our Uber prices used to be insane. Remember Remember Uber?

Remember Uber share and you'd have to just sit with other guys?

Aiden's dream.

I remember my dad's first through my journey.

My dad's first time getting in an Uber.

He didn't know what that meant. So he

calls a pool on accident and gets in one with a guy who has like the flu and he's like hacking. And then he just told me

like hacking. And then he just told me he's like, "Uber sucks. They put me with sick guys."

sick guys." He was ahead of the wave. It does suck now. Yeah. Uh, it does blow my mind how

now. Yeah. Uh, it does blow my mind how cheap China is.

This is No, this is a chop. This is

Listen, listen listen to the chop viewing the chop. This is what happened to us on the on the waves when it when the waves when the wind like really picked up and we were on the boat and there was kind of like it it

got really hard for a second, but then it got even harder and then we could not move the boat with the little engine that it had and it started to rock. I

was like, "Dude, if we flip with all the equipment out here, I think You're not going to flip, bro. You're not going to flip.

As the captain of the vessel, I knew we were not going to flip and I knew that you would be a child.

We have a strong captain, bro. This

schwaga up front. I would almost throw you in the brrig. Okay. The brrig would have Well, we got a wo for people like you.

Is Schwagga the noun that you call somebody or is it like a p like a schwaga is a handsome person?

You're thinking too much about it, man.

Yeah, you're being an [ __ ] What you want us to man?

He's a schwaga.

Okay. And right now you're kind of talking like a wagu on God too.

Can you not be both?

Yeah. Yeah, you can. He's right.

Oh my god. Do you guys see this? It's

unignorable. You have a a blown out white hair.

Yeah. That's some I actually thought it was a piece of fuzz.

No, these are sputs.

No schmutz.

No, it's some schmuts.

Oh, it's sputz. I actually think it's ash from my cigarette.

Oh, man. We saw some minor attracted uh French people in the damn Hong Kong restaurant. I was so so I so

restaurant. I was so so I so just heard someone speak French. This is

what's going on. He's telling you he saw people speaking French at a breakfast a very nice establishment and they were being very nice to everyone around them.

Yeah, but they were clearly minor attracted just visually based off the way they spoke.

Yeah. No. No. Okay. I had this bit. I

had this bit. It's it's lemonade stand and I want you to jump in on this cuz you you've been hanging with Michael for like 20 days who's great. Different

sense of humor, different He's more forgiving, but I want to throw you in the shark tank. It's a bit It's lemonade stand, but Atriarch and Doug have found out that Aiden is a non-offending pedophile.

Not offending minor attracted person. They'd be cool with it.

He's my [ __ ] friend. Yeah,

he's my [ __ ] friend. What [ __ ] do?

Uh, I don't know, man. Do we Do we just get him off the show? I

um Claude Claude, what do you do when your friend is a map? Sorry, MAP. This

is the the data is from after 2014. So,

I'm I'm not offending.

He's not offending.

What do you want me to do?

He's a non offending my [ __ ] friend. Like, I maybe maybe just whatever. Like, just just blow

just whatever. Like, just just blow around.

So, should we just kill every French person? The non-offending. Should we

person? The non-offending. Should we

just kill them?

This is the kind of stuff we were just like talking about. Wait, we just talk about that walk. Spent 500. Walk

out.

Lots of healing. No, those were healing.

Those are doctor items. Yeah, dude. We we literally became

Yeah, dude. We we literally became health gurus and you're and you're downplaying it. It's disgusting.

downplaying it. It's disgusting.

It's just crazy because China is the cheapest country I've ever been to. Like

people talk about Japan's so cheap.

Hotels here are on average like $25.

It's absurd. And then and then you guys are out here just drop in a,000 yuan.

Number one, Hong Kong special administrative region.

Yep. True.

So chill on that.

Okay. Number two.

Yeah, we spent a lot of money. But but

the thing is we did it better than you could ever have done it.

Is that true? How about this? Everyone

close your eyes.

Okay. Eyes have been closed.

Open your mouth.

I mouth is open. It's hard little game.

Keep it open without ever closing it.

But okay.

This is ready for anything.

Okay. All right. Put I don't like the mouth open. Close the mouth. Close my

mouth open. Close the mouth. Close my

mouth.

Mouth is closed.

All right. This wagon needs it from you.

Put your hand out. Put your hands out.

Put your hands out. is a most handsome Greek man. It's heavy.

Greek man. It's heavy.

Yeah. Yeah. Hold it. Hold it.

Did you give me a tungsten rock?

Okay. This one is for you.

What is this?

Wait, don't look yet. And then this one is for you.

Okay.

Okay. Okay. I got you all gifts. Okay.

You guys can open your eyes now. Take a

look.

Wait. Mine's the one who can't see. So,

I got I got you the one who can't see, right? Okay. Funny. Poor eyes.

right? Okay. Funny. Poor eyes.

Uh, I got you the one who can't hear cuz you don't [ __ ] listen or one thing at a time. And I get you the one who should

a time. And I get you the one who should speak less.

Why?

Cuz that's what the monkey does.

You're so cute.

Cute.

Thank you for this monkey. What's it say on the bottom?

On the bottom it says hung.

Is it monkey?

Not translated.

How would I clean my monkey?

Huh?

You don't clean.

What if it's Monday?

You don't clean the monkey?

I can clean your monkey. If you go if you come to my house, I'll clean.

I'll never clean my monkey. How clean

your own monkey? Well, I clean your own.

The traditional I would spit shine your monkey. That's the traditional way to do

monkey. That's the traditional way to do it.

My monkey.

You got to spit on your monkey and clean it. But if you clean your own monkey,

it. But if you clean your own monkey, you're going to lose all the love.

Oops. My friends are keeping it clean.

This swagger's got a monkey for everybody.

So anyway, enjoy your monkeys. Thank you

for my monkey.

That's very cute.

I ask you a little bit of a rose bud thorn moment for your tip the tip journey.

Dude, a lot of it.

RBT if you was the first thing you said when we got in that boat. Oh, I got stories. Dude, that's what you said

stories. Dude, that's what you said cuz last day some [ __ ] went down.

What went down?

We can't put it in the video.

Won't it be out by then? It's a week from now.

We can't put it in the video.

It can't be even in the video, but he can describe it to us.

Yes, I can describe it orally.

You got [ __ ] that you can't put in tip to tip.

You give me a monkey.

What? Like, like what? Like any stuff between you and I hit a car.

No, you got hit by a I hit a car.

It's crazy. Got hit by You're on a bike.

Yeah.

So, it's crazy to hit a car. Meaning you

were the one who kind of offended it. I

was a bit of an offender. What happened?

I wouldn't know anything about that.

You Well, because you're not offended.

I'm I'm offended.

I'm offending. And I'll tell you what.

Yes.

No.

Aiden with a little bit of advice as your attorney. Don't lean in to the

your attorney. Don't lean in to the You should adamantly reject the bit.

You should Yeah, you should.

I don't understand. I haven't

We're going to keep running into the nonoffend.

I haven't done anything wrong. Respect

on that. for yourself. By the eyes of the law, I have not done anything wrong.

Exactly. Right. And lean into that.

Legally, you're clear.

So, what happened?

Uh, so basically, I was driving and uh it was like a super tight under a bridge tunnel backed up. Imagine like [ __ ] 40 cars, mopeds driving through, people

walking through. It seems like the most

walking through. It seems like the most bustling like you might imagine Indian street bus. There's there's 100 people

street bus. There's there's 100 people and and we're driving our bikes through this. We're like, I don't know if we're

this. We're like, I don't know if we're supposed to be. So, we're driving our bikes through it and it's real tight.

And my bike's wider on the back than the front, which is weird.

Well, custom for you.

It's like your body.

It's like your body.

No. What's that mean? It's

just like how your body is. It's like

how your bike is. Maybe that's why you were drawn to the bike.

What's the back of your bike jiggling?

Is something wrong with it? It's

jiggling as you ride.

Well, it's cuz I I had three cases on the back. Okay.

the back. Okay.

For like carrying [ __ ] I see.

And so, it made the back wider. So,

usually when a motorcycle, your handlebars are the widest part.

You can see it from the front.

My butt's wide. So, I'm driving and I and I'm driving and I go and I get it's like little squeeze. I'm going real slow. Hit a guy's car.

slow. Hit a guy's car.

And And guy's driving a beater.

All right.

And I'm like I'm like, "Fuck, did I [ __ ] it up?" And I look at it and there's

it up?" And I look at it and there's nothing there's nothing wrong with the car and I'm like I'm like [ __ ] But I'm like I you know I need to make this cuz he's yelling at me. He's yelling I don't know what he's saying. So I

Are you Uh-huh. Mhm. Yeah.

I'm like, well, I know what solves this money. So, I pull out just a hundred 100

money. So, I pull out just a hundred 100 yuan. And

yuan. And how much is that in American dollar?

It's like $14.

It's actually worse than giving him no money.

Disgusting.

100 yuan covers a hotel voice.

Disgusting.

It's like licking your thumb and and going through the same $1 over and over.

It's all I and I'm trying to hand it to him. I'm trying to say sorry. Sorry.

him. I'm trying to say sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. But I kept saying bukuchi.

Bukuchi. Bukuchi. Which is You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome.

welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Oh, bro.

Why can't you put it in?

Huh?

Why can't you put it in?

Put what in the video?

Uh cuz cuz I hit a car and I'm yelling you. You're welcome. And I didn't make

you. You're welcome. And I didn't make the call. This is like This is the

the call. This is like This is the editor.

You don't make the call. You're

Bloodwig.

I don't watch the video. I don't watch the videos.

I don't watch the videos. That's the

whole point. I don't [ __ ] make the editors made the call to take out the most interesting shot of the day.

Disgusting. That's the operation he wrote.

They were like, "Hey, you come off horrible in this."

in this." I guess the one watching it watching it eyes bagged in hint is obvious.

Yeah. Yeah. But what actually happened when it's translated is a guy's car get hit and he's like, "Will you hit my [ __ ] car?" And I'm going, "You're welcome. You're welcome. You're

welcome. You're welcome. You're

welcome."

So funny.

And what I stay there for a while, but another guy comes in. He's like the director of this traffic. And I

understand him because he just goes, he goes, "I don't know how to like, you're good. You're good. You're good. Go

good. You're good. You're good. Go

ahead. You're good." Then he turns and turns the guy goes, "He's your car's a beater in here."

in here." Oh my god. Speaking of, we we told the the story right before you left of uh the Armenian guy and the delivery guy.

I heard I heard.

And And basically I that guy did that.

He mediated the situation in a way that you would.

Yes.

And I'm I like that. I like how you But nobody said the N word.

Um unless I mean you've probably heard it.

Yeah. The

the Chinese What? What is it?

Well, so there's what is it?

It's no right.

There's jugger for this and then there's na g for something. That's that

the you got to have a box. It is unfortunate that one of the main that one of the main words it's also like a thinking word instead of um Yeah. Yeah. It's like they'll like

Yeah. Yeah. It's like they'll like stutter on it and say it like a few times in a row in certain dialect cuz we drove all across certain dialects and me and M were talking about this like doing you

know etmological forensics to find out which Chinese province says it the most accurate to the nword.

Oh my god.

Cuz some of them some provinces you drive through it just sounds like they just rip it. But I discovered another one. A lesser known one.

one. A lesser known one.

Oh, really? A rare cop.

A rare one.

If you want to say like if I took a picture like cuz a lot of people just ask for pictures of me cuz I'm cuz I'm white.

Yeah, that's fun.

Cuz I'm a wow. And then or I'll take a picture of them on like my Digi and they'll be like send it to me and that's f Aiden please. All together now.

Aiden please. All together now.

That's good.

Send it to me. What? Send it to me.

Talk to me. That's That's how bro walks.

That's when Aiden's in pain.

Oh man, the language is so beautiful. It

is beautiful.

I mean, that's why I think when me and Nick did the thing, it was a couple days ago as we record this, but it was very fortunate that Hong Kong is like a weird like British enclave. Like most people just speak English, so we were able to Yeah. I didn't meet anyone who couldn't

Yeah. I didn't meet anyone who couldn't speak English.

Haggle and like you got to thank the Opium Wars for that one.

Yeah. And and I I do every day.

Every day I thank them.

They burned down the summer palace.

Oh my god.

The British and French teamed up. They

hate each other. They teamed up just to come and ransack China so that they would open their borders for trade. And

they did.

They did. The Japanese took back uh Hong Kong during World War II. Did you know that? They took back what was theirs.

that? They took back what was theirs.

Well, let's not phrase it like that.

Well, they they took back they took a lot of [ __ ] they shouldn't have taken.

But then the British came and took it back when World War II ended. So they

took back what was theirs and then China took and then China turned it into special administrative region took back what was there must have been a staff involved in this somewhere maybe in between all these places. They were all they were

these places. They were all they were all gunning for cuz the staff becomes gets between us all.

I mean it does right because it holds immense power. Yeah,

immense power. Yeah, dude. I had to the staff from the staff

dude. I had to the staff from the staff from the video that healed Aiden. I

asked for it back cuz I'm a doctor now and I I really wanted to take it with me to fly from Hong Kong to Beijing and and it's a really long annoying item. So, I

tried to mail it. I go to the post office in the airport in Hong Kong. The

guy's like, "We that we stopped uh mailing [ __ ] to the US a year ago. Only

documents." I'm like, "Fuck." Okay. So,

I go I go to check in. I have my carry-on bag in my backpack. So, I'm not checking anything. And I'm like, "Hey,

checking anything. And I'm like, "Hey, uh I need this." And this lady, she's like, "Her English isn't great." and

she's, you know, she's being very helpful and she's like, "Oh, why?" And I was like, "Leg problem." She's like, "Life's like walking with her and I'm

like leaning." Okay. So, so Nick and

like leaning." Okay. So, so Nick and Rich have left to go food and and I'm sitting on a bench and I can I'm like across the atrium from Anthony and I can

see him at the counter mimming this.

Like I'm not close enough to hear anything, but I can clearly see the whole interaction and I'm filming it.

And at after he explains that he has a leg problem, he leans over and starts using the cane for the rest of the interaction.

After you have to tell her that and so and so the lady was like, "Okay." And

she does a lot of typing and it's a tense moment because our our producer Rich actually had like an error in his name and they had to wait 30 minutes to get his ticket. So it's like things can go wrong. It feels like it's a tense

go wrong. It feels like it's a tense moment. She types, she's like, "Okay,

moment. She types, she's like, "Okay, I'm sorry. I had to change your seat.

I'm sorry. I had to change your seat.

you were in an emergency row, but because you're handicapped, I need to put you in a different seat."

And I said, "Thank you. That's very

considerate." And then I walked through security with a limp the entire time.

Are you guys not using translators? Cuz

I feel like you guys just walk up places and you try to just English.

Everybody spoke English here. We haven't really been here, but

here. We haven't really been here, but yeah, I I use a translator for like breakfast and stuff.

I use one all morning.

Feel really helpless, dude. We We had an interpreter for the

dude. We We had an interpreter for the entire Lemonade Stand trip. You're a

little baby. You're a little bow bow.

[ __ ] amazing.

That's what you sound like. Bow bow.

Multiple hour interview. And you said, "Perry, get your [ __ ] ass up. It's

time to record him to the phone."

We went to We went to like a ninestory mall and he had to go throw up in the bathroom at a ntory mall.

Chop chop.

Look at Wellfed Rich gets KFC. Wellfed

Rich, he gets free chicken. Rich gets

[ __ ] chicken for free. And Perry

don't get [ __ ] No. No. Barry was fine.

No. No. Barry was fine.

Barry was fine.

He was fine. He was fine.

Perry's the lemonade stand and stop.

Hey, next time you see him, don't talk to him. Don't ask him any questions. I'm

to him. Don't ask him any questions. I'm

tired of I'm tired of you guys talking to Perry.

If he makes eye contact with you, you tell me.

And I'm not offending.

Dude, I uh I I was walking through the mall, so we had to edit that episode. It

was like it was like an old summit event where we had to do it all that night.

Horrible. It was really annoying. And

Nick's like, "I need a mouse." I'm like, "Okay, I'll get you a mouse." You guys were dump the footage. They were dumping the footage on my phone.

Dan, he's Cam.

Yeah. No, I was No. No. I'm Cam.

I'm Dan and Cam.

Yeah. I I'm like I'm like still Slime at BTS.

And I But I have to go through this mall that's attached to the hotel and I don't have my phone and I'm I have to find a mouse. That is my job. And I'm walking

mouse. That is my job. And I'm walking through and these two high school kids go slime. And I'm like, "What?" And they

go slime. And I'm like, "What?" And they they flag me down and like, "Dude," and they're like geeking out. They're huge

fans. This one kid's like, "Dude, I saw you beat the Ender Dragon." And I'm like, "This is Hong Kong.

That's awesome. You knew about Barnabas.

This is crazy. Knew about Barnabas and everything." And they're And I was

everything." And they're And I was talking to kids. I'm like, "Are you guys busy? Cuz I need help." And they're

busy? Cuz I need help." And they're like, "No." They're like They're like

like, "No." They're like They're like Starruck. I'm like, "Hey kids, you

Starruck. I'm like, "Hey kids, you busy?"

busy?" Yeah.

My friend is not offending, but I need you to help me find him.

I'm not offending and you need to help me find kiddos.

So, we did. We walked through this mall and they're like asking me all these questions. I'm giving him insider info

questions. I'm giving him insider info on tip to tip. You know, I'm telling you. And uh we get there, we get a

you. And uh we get there, we get a mouse. I have my phone or I don't have a

mouse. I have my phone or I don't have a phone. I have my card. I pay for the

phone. I have my card. I pay for the mouse and I'm like, "Nick also wanted boba. Do you know a boba spot? I'll get

boba. Do you know a boba spot? I'll get

us all boba for your for your troubles.

Help me." We go, we find a boba spot.

It's four bobbas. The lady's like, "1und Hong Kong dollars," which sounds like a shitload. And nothing.

shitload. And nothing.

And then she's like, she's like, "Uh, tap." And it doesn't work. She's like,

tap." And it doesn't work. She's like,

"Oh, only cash or octopus." And I just look over.

kids.

And I'm like, and the kids bail him out, bro.

You got to help me one more time.

And I'm just like, you just saw me kill that Ender Dragon.

How much was that worth, kids?

I was like, well, but it was cool. And

then and then I I told them I'd shout them out. So, shouts out, guys.

them out. So, shouts out, guys.

So, they basically you you screenshot picture Archie. Screenshot picture of

picture Archie. Screenshot picture of Slim and them. They got a picture.

You took advantage of these kids, took their money, and then they get a shout out.

I didn't take advantage of them. They

were No, they were impressed by this.

actually great and he's he's paying them back with the shout out, of course, but also with free merch from you.

I told him I I was like I felt so bad. I

was like, "Bro, I you know what? I'll

tell Aiden to get you a merch code cuz I felt like shit."

Okay.

Uh cuz 100 Hong Kong dollars sounds a lot. No, for no

lot. No, for no that's coming out of your pocket. That

comes out of your pocket.

The code. Okay. Tell them then. Say

Samuel and Andrew. Tell them to the camera.

Samuel and Andrew, you're not getting it. I don't give a [ __ ]

it. I don't give a [ __ ] Sorry. I really tried.

Sorry. I really tried.

I don't give a [ __ ] I really tried.

Please don't hit us up for any help on support cuz guess who replies, okay?

100 Hong Kong dollars is not It's like what? Like 16ucks by seven sounds like a

what? Like 16ucks by seven sounds like a lot. I don't know. Like what?

lot. I don't know. Like what?

It's 100 15. Yeah,

the seven thing's a little off because I used the divide by seven thing for uh the the pig ear we bought, which is actually fish mall I learned from a lot of comments. And uh I did the divide by

of comments. And uh I did the divide by seven. I'm like, "Oh my god, we spent

seven. I'm like, "Oh my god, we spent $70." Went home. Actually, we spent $89.

$70." Went home. Actually, we spent $89.

$89.

It would be even more.

Are Hong Kong dollars different than R&B presumably in their exchange rate?

The the exchange rates similar but not the same.

My one complaint about Hong Kong is uh you were there two days. And I got and I'm an expert. I can speak. I think

you'll I think you'll actually agree with this. Not a single bathroom I used

with this. Not a single bathroom I used had a bedet.

Oh my god. There's no bed in all of China except for one place.

It's actually so the world.

No, dude. This restaurant,

dude. our hotel that we're well I don't even know if you're going there today but the hotel we're staying in tonight is super nice and I got in the room I saw the day and I was like and I just sat on it and I just let it ride for a

little toilet the bathroom situation is it cuz in Hong Kong it's actually immaculate because what it is in most of mainland China is squatty potties with

no toilet paper. You have to carry around your own tissue to wipe your ass and you have to squat to [ __ ] Yeah, you got to hear you got to hear it go.

We use those.

Okay, don't slap their thumb.

They do have a lot of squatting. The

squatties aren't bad though. I shouldn't

want night one.

Yeah, but I'm bad at squatting like that.

Yeah, that's fair.

We all are.

Oh, bad mobility.

We're all bad like that. I squatted this morning.

I got bad squat.

I'm good at it, bro.

And then I don't carry around. I was not prepared. I'm carrying around tissues

prepared. I'm carrying around tissues and also cuz I've been sick, dude. I've

had diarrhea for like six days.

Oh, you had mud. You had red butt, dude. I've been I've been like fighting

dude. I've been I've been like fighting I've been finding rats in my body. I've

been I've been exercising the [ __ ] the ghouls and the rats.

Bring the monkey with you. Let him watch next time.

Dude, there was a moment where But he can't hear it.

He doesn't want to hear what's happening. It's terrible. But he'd love

happening. It's terrible. But he'd love to see.

It was really the first the first like two days. What? I was I was in the hotel

two days. What? I was I was in the hotel room with Atriarch and I was having so much fun because I I have to get up to go [ __ ] like every like 40 minutes and then I would scream in the bathroom and

like talk to Atriarch while I was in the toilet. But I had to

toilet. But I had to and then you hear F5.

Aiden, what's wrong?

What's wrong, Aiden?

Are you okay?

I had to [ __ ] I had to [ __ ] so much that this just wasn't fun anymore. Like it's

like you were having weird fun with it.

I'm on I'm on day three. I'm out. I'm

out of bits. My [ __ ] hurts.

Aiden had to [ __ ] really really bad and he's like he's like holding his butt as he runs up to the hotel room and Atrox's in the shower and he's like, "Dude, I just got to go." And he goes in and he just shits while Atriox's just in the

shower.

I can't imagine the smell in there. Like

when your dad does it cuz me had to wash his house for him have already like we've already been to like uh like like bathous and stuff together, right? So I was like it's an

together, right? So I was like it's an emergency. It's an emergency. I

emergency. It's an emergency. I

It's so funny, bro.

I don't care if I see Atriog naked. And

I'm like you see the penis?

Yeah. Multiple times. And I knock and I'm like I really need to go. And he's

like, "Yeah, yeah, it's fine. Whatever."

But then I sit down and I'm like I'm like screaming and I'm like Atriarch.

It's like Squid ink Atriox. God, bro.

I was in the hotel room like playing Slay the Spire on my laptop.

Yeah. Was it like that when you got the the FP?

Dude, it was like everything inside my body my body is like you get to get it out once. So I threw up like crazy. Like

out once. So I threw up like crazy. Like

everything that was in me. And then we me and Michael were two different beasts. One of us only shits. The other

beasts. One of us only shits. The other

one only throws up.

He was the only [ __ ] I was the [ __ ] Oh, you were the [ __ ] I threw up initially like twice and then I threw in a trash can like six times.

Rip right?

Yeah, I did throw up in a trash can in a public street and it was just bread.

Is the Is the theory just Oh, the gong and bread. Yeah, it was the gong and

and bread. Yeah, it was the gong and bread.

[ __ ] That's the theory at least.

I've never heard about getting sick from like I've never gotten sick from bread in my life.

No, me neither. But it had like a little like paste inside.

It wasn't just straight bread. Yeah.

Do you think you got spiked?

No. I think they try to get you.

I think what it was is just like day old bread that they were keeping out cuz the price for it was three for a $130, dude.

And you're like, well, a deal is a deal.

I think it was just like super super spoiled. Cheap.

spoiled. Cheap.

You know what would genu you know I think and I don't say this to harm you.

I think one of my favorite videos you've ever put out ever is you just riding your bike in China for an hour saying nothing. It is so serene. unoffended.

nothing. It is so serene. unoffended.

It's a It's an amazing video.

We always get hit, huh?

In that video, there's fall asleep to it.

There's a at the way in. I'm like, we're on the side of the road. We're parked. A

[ __ ] car like we're past the white line, drifts into the white line.

That's scary, bro.

You do a freeze frame on that [ __ ] That guy almost [ __ ] killed my ass.

Did you notice in the in the moment or like you hear it in the video? I go,

whoa.

[ __ ] Do you think after this trip, you know how with Japan you kind of went through that Andy drops his toy moment? You

don't want I don't want to play with it anymore.

You're done. You're done. You're done.

You were done. Are you done with Are you done with China after this? Never gonna

talk about China again.

Of course. Of course. Dodgers are

playing again.

Oh, Japan's back in season.

He's going to go back to He's going to go right back to Japan.

Right back to the lawyers.

No, I think I think first off, I think I want to learn about Chinese. There's so

much I don't know that we just we just we were only questions, no answers, cuz you can't look [ __ ] up.

Yeah. And you really learned everything about Japan.

Yeah, Japan. I got it all. I watched the Bill Wartz video. I'm good.

That's an amazing video to this day.

And there's not a Bill Wartz.

What?

There's not a Bill like there was a guy in that just rip.

Yeah.

Don't put the mic down there.

It sounded like a speaking man.

Oh, dude. I got hit by it.

Oh my god. I'm going to hit the I'm going to hit the locals. I'm going to hit the locals.

You're going to hit the whole deck. It

sounds burnt.

Don't try it.

I want to try it.

Don't play.

I want to try.

Just play.

I got you.

They're right about everything they say about our country and everything they think about us. They're completely

correct.

I'm in I'm in a taxi yesterday. Me and

Michael are going to just get some Beijing cowya because he's been feeding for it all trip.

Some Beijing tail. What did you say?

Some Beijing cowya duck.

Oh yeah.

He been feing and we haven't No spot does it really outside of Beijing or like a big restaurant. So, we're on the way and the cab driver's talking to us and I have a translator and like I hear

what he says, but there's a buffer before the translator hits and we're like, "Oh, he must be asking about like where we're from." And the translator's like, "So, what do you think about what's happening in Iran?"

And and and and I've been 18 days dry off a phone.

It's developed.

And and I'm and I'm like, "What's happening?"

happening?" Turns out it's been getting pretty crazy.

It's been it's been heating up. I

thought it was just the Ayatollah and done.

No, no. I think that's what they thought too.

It's kind of It's actually the opposite.

Yeah.

Sounds like they're going for thirds and fourths.

If you want to hear more about that, you can head on over to No, no, no, no.

You can head over to non-offending podcast.

Yeah.

Take a look at the map.

I think it's important to remember that we're all non-offender.

Yeah.

All three.

Everybody is a non-offender until they're not. And at any moment, it

they're not. And at any moment, it kills me so much. Uh, no. Okay, I have an idea. It's tip to tip. This is your

an idea. It's tip to tip. This is your next destination. I've already mapped it

next destination. I've already mapped it out for I've talked to Dan, talked to everybody. It's you and Michael in

everybody. It's you and Michael in Switzerland. Tipto tip on the search for

Switzerland. Tipto tip on the search for Nazi gold.

Wow, that's good. And we have to keep going until we find it.

Until you find any Nazi disappointing end.

What are you talking about? You would

find a trove of it. All the skulls and [ __ ] You think we would find it?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I'm I'm with it. I'm with

it. I Dude, it's funny because people ask for pictures. I don't know if it's happened to you. Probably not cuz you went to Hong Kong and Beijing.

Has anyone asked you for a picture just because you guys are foreigners?

Probably not.

Me?

A man asked if I wanted a Rolex.

I got proposition for sex.

Well, not proposition. I got proposition to pay for sex from a prostitute.

You're leaving out of detail. They also

thought he was a gay man.

Well, no. So, it it was this this woman.

She's like, "Are you a tourist?" I'm

walking up the steps to get into the hotel and I'm like, "Oh, yeah." And

she's like, "You want a massage?" And

I'm like, "No." And then she's like, "Oh, okay." I keep walking and she's

"Oh, okay." I keep walking and she's like, "We have men, too." I'm like, "Well, now you got my wait."

wait." So, so I tell So, I tell her, "Yes."

Right.

Walk up into the hotel, walk into the room. They say, "We already sent him up

room. They say, "We already sent him up there. Atriog naked."

there. Atriog naked."

And then and then he covers up and he goes, "Oh no.

Oh no."

And then he leaves cuz he's like too old.

Yeah.

Yeah. His his giant 300lb frame just like, "Oh, this is embarrassing.

Do you have any food?"

They had to take him to his room in one of the luggage trolleys. They had to wheel him in into the elevator.

So this must happen a lot. Did it happen a lot to you? Like people ask for pictures?

Only happened once. I think in big cities like you're just sure to white people only went to tier ones.

Greetings from the future. Lewig is

dead.

He's gone.

But the problem is I have access to all of his finances cuz I have his passwords and I have all his personal information that I still kept from when I was in the company and I kept it all and I hoarded it.

Okay. And

Aiden might get it, but you got it.

No, I got it. No, I have it.

Not in the staff.

I'll talk about the staff. The problem

is all of his finances have all of these charges and I'm trying to get rid of them cuz I'm trying to get his money to make me money. Postumous and it sucks.

There's hell of stuff there. Dude, he's

got Hulu. I don't think he's ever used it.

I don't think he knows what Hulu is.

No, I think he thinks it's a Chinese word.

We don't need to look at We don't need to look closely at any of Lwick's spending.

I It doesn't matter. But what I'm saying is there's all these things and I don't have the time to go through them because I'm busy doing other stuff with this staff. Did you know that Rocket Money is

staff. Did you know that Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions or Lwigs? Monitors your spending or his and

Lwigs? Monitors your spending or his and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Do you understand that?

Again, it works if it's not mine.

It works if it's not yours specifically.

Yeah. Cuz you have access to all his finances. But if you just download

finances. But if you just download Rocket Money, take all the passwords that you've put, I think, in the staff, and you zap them into the app, then you can just delete all his Hulu subscriptions, it'll put them all in one place, and I can his money can start making me

money even though it's not me. my

account. It's his account. He's died.

You could take all the money saved from subscription like Hulu or, you know, like pharmacy stuff that gets sent to his house that he needed that he doesn't need anymore and you could put it into into the NASDAQ.

Oh my god, that's such a relief.

Money will make you more money.

I thought it was just going to drain him until it was over and I wouldn't be able to.

It's like we don't even need to mess with that though because it's like what if he was paying for another close friend's subscriptions? A lot of stuff.

friend's subscriptions? A lot of stuff.

Well, the beauty of the app is that you would see that also in one place. It

would put those things which he probably doesn't have.

Do you know about something? Is there a reason you're bringing that up?

No. No. It's just like we don't want you to be too crazy with the cancel feature because it's like we might still be using.

I'm going to get crazy with it. I'm

liquidating everything. That is my right. I earned this. Okay. I earned

right. I earned this. Okay. I earned

this when we started the company. It was

me, Rats, Ads, and Lwig. And now I get everything.

Let Rocket Rocket Money is going homeless.

Let RocketMoney help you reach your financial goals faster. Try for $0 at rocketoney.com/theard. That's

rocketoney.com/theard. That's

rocketmoney.com/the

$0 and this staff of passwords. Let's

get back to the episode with our dead friend Lwig.

I watched a lot of tip to tip. Our

experience has been drastically different than yours.

Oh, I think so.

That makes sense. I mean, we went to like at most a tier three city, like a couple million residents, you know, not nowhere near the size of Shanghai or Beijing. And places we would go, they

Beijing. And places we would go, they it's like George Clooney walking through an airwan. It's like everyone [ __ ]

an airwan. It's like everyone [ __ ] stops. Like there's this girl who almost

stops. Like there's this girl who almost [ __ ] crashed her her like scooter cuz she's driving, sees, she goes wo and then turns and almost hits another guy.

The guy that she almost hits turns after she says wos. They both get off and ask us for pictures. Neither are mad about almost crashing.

That's crazy.

We did with the one place was when we went to the the factory that makes the clothes for mogul moves in the yard and that was in a smaller city where they don't get they clearly do not get

tourists. still a huge builtup city.

tourists. still a huge builtup city.

It's not like a rural area. And

literally like we left the factory to go get food and every single person that walked into this little shopping center where the food was stopped to look at us.

How was the factory?

Uh it was cool. All chip shape. Loaded

with kids.

Loaded. Just Well, a good thing you're not offending. What?

not offending. What?

Oh, now you don't like it.

No, because this is in a working context. This is

context. This is strong working hands. Don't bring the offense to work.

You keep that for play. That's for fun.

No, the factory was actually great. It

was their note and all adult workers.

All adult hats and [ __ ] And uh the owner very very nice. We

actually got dinner with him later on with in Hong Kong with his son, too.

Shout out Cyrus, his son. He uh he he's just like a super lit 24year-old who loves basketball and lives in America.

What's his team?

Uh Lakers.

The Lakers, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Cuz he grew he went to high school. He went to high school.

school. He went to high school.

I don't watch uh NBA. I watch CBA.

Oh, really?

You love CBA?

CBA? Yeah. I'm with the Ching Dao Ching Dao Eagles.

Is that a real team?

Yeah, Ching Dao.

Eagles.

The Ching Dow Golden Eagles. Yeah.

That's tight as [ __ ] Uh we were talking to his son and he was like, uh, cuz he went to college in America and he lived in America, but he moved back here recently and he was like, "Oh, where do you guys like where you guys from like in America?" And I

was, we're like, "Oh, California." He's

like, "Where?" I was like, "Oh, I'm from somewhere called Orange County." He's

like, "Where?" And I'm like, it's a city called Yurbinda. Dude, he lived on my

called Yurbinda. Dude, he lived on my street in my like where I where I grew up. You live there?

up. You live there?

Not like the culde-sac, but like my culde-sac spills out to the main road.

He lives on the main road.

That's so funny. Him and Nick are having this insane moment.

I'm like on a map where you lived and I'm like my without moving the map, my house is on the map.

It was so crazy. And it's funny cuz like we're in Hong Kong, but also he like he he lived in a location that he can't even tell other people that live in LA where he grew up because they don't know where that is.

And he was like, "Oh, and there was this older woman that was just a babe that'd be walking around getting the mail and [ __ ] We're talking about my mom." This is the joke is saying my mom was walking around

and Cyrus was like, "Holy shit." You

know, no. Go on. No. No. Don't be afraid. Go

no. Go on. No. No. Don't be afraid. Go

on. You know,

really bad babe walking around.

Babe, what? Dude,

this camera. This camera. She's

watching, so say it to her.

I'm not going to sit here and say that you aren't a babe. Nick's mom.

You're beautiful. Is that a crime?

Sorry. I'll say it in China, too.

Say it. Say it in Chinese. Lock me up in China.

Would you guys all get up to while Lwig was gone?

Uh, let me guess. Slay the Spire.

Yeah. Yeah,

jerking off with some non-offenders, dude.

They get together. They have a Discord.

Uh, tweeting at people.

Oh, so much tweeting.

There we go.

I I tweet the same amount I would always tweet.

I don't like this for you. You don't

like it now? No. I don't like being lumped in because I went on a gigantic cultural tour of the country, right? We

interviewed people for hours and explored cities.

It's like when you you snow, you lose your breath at night. I'm I'm [ __ ] getting lumped in with two years ago, bro. No, no, no. I [ __ ] Did you know

bro. No, no, no. I [ __ ] Did you know what happened while you were gone? I

lost 10 lbs. I became a Minecraft YouTuber.

I've heard this. I watched a Last Yard episode.

Okay.

And And I've heard you talk about Minecraft. It was so embarrassing.

Minecraft. It was so embarrassing.

What are you talking about? What's

embarrassing?

It was like It was like if Nick were to come to the pod and be like, "Dude, I discovered the NBA." And then like listening to Nick's knowledge of the NBA. And then two guys who don't know

NBA. And then two guys who don't know [ __ ] anything. So I'm like, "Oh, wow.

Cool." No, they all thought it was funny right?

You're like, you're like, you're like an elytra, and they're like, "Oh, yeah, an elytra."

elytra." Explained it succinctly. But I will say, and then the warden, but you don't want to fight the warden.

You don't want to fight the war. He's

scary. I think the most the most uh touching thing I've ever created, unfortunately, is me flying with the elytra at the end of the Minecraft video. It's really It's like an ironic

video. It's really It's like an ironic Greek joke that like that I demand like No, more like a Greek hell punishment.

Like I I demand like artistic like endeavors from the world. And then the thing that makes people actually cry, literally actually cry, was me playing Minecraft.

Well, grandson, yeah, we flew to Beijing and I told them about how my recreation in Minecraft was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever made.

I'm sorry.

They they like Minecraft here. It's on

every TV you'll see in your hotel room.

I saw a little kid running around with a Minecraft t-shirt on.

They call it MC.

MC MC. Dude, it's funny.

Why not skellies in it?

I don't know. I I didn't get that cuz the only way I've seen it is on TV they have some American YouTuber who does like shitty Minecraft animations and

they have like 2,000 episodes of some story fully dubbed in Chinese there there so you know the book um [ __ ] threebody problem there's a scene from either the first book or the

second book in the series that is a a really intense action scene but it's recreated in I think Roblox and it's amazingly cinematic. It's It's

amazingly cinematic. It's It's beautiful.

Animations of Roblox can be really beautiful and and it's a it's like a Chinese like Roblox animator and he made like a cinematic masterpiece of this piece of the book. It is unbel It's beautiful and

the book. It is unbel It's beautiful and it's in Roblox or Minecraft. I can't

remember.

Uh very different things. Very different

things. But yeah, I think I think your experience must have been very different from mine.

Yeah, 100%. I'm excit I'm cuz I saw the real China.

Huh?

You saw what people wanted you to see.

The tier ones, the big pills.

flashy restaurants, you know. We're We're in the We're in

you know. We're We're in the We're in the mud.

You're in the mud.

We're in the mud, dude. I saw the Chinese excellence,

dude. I saw the Chinese excellence, the the how they've built up their country.

Uh yeah, proud. You didn't see was the 207 and

proud. You didn't see was the 207 and how they're still building that [ __ ] road.

Yeah, they got to build. They got a lot of [ __ ] And you're driving your motorcycle going, there's an excavator on the right and a compactor on the left and you're like, should I be here? And they're just come on, bro.

I'll tell you that. Look, they're sweet and they're sour with everything. But

let me say this. You walk out in the hotel this morning and it was like a campfire in the air, dude. So,

dude. So, there's there's good weather's bad.

It's funny cuz you hear how bad the the air quality is in China and or like that they've improved it a ton over time. And

every city I've been to so far has been totally fine. And then I woke up this

totally fine. And then I woke up this morning and I looked out my window and Beijing looked like dude. And I was like "Dude why?"

It looked like a draw distance on a Nintendo 64. looks like Nocturn to Toten

Nintendo 64. looks like Nocturn to Toten like rebuilding zombie windows. I was

like, "Okay, how bad is the air quality?" And I pull up the index. It's

quality?" And I pull up the index. It's

like so far in the red. It's like in that warning where like you shouldn't really go outside and it's just like we got one day to shoot. Here we are.

Here we are on this beautiful planet.

They are trying to prove we actually looked into it. They uh cuz we passed like 4 billion truckers. There are I think more truckers in China than people in Florida. Yeah,

in Florida. Yeah, there's like 25 million. Yeah. Yeah.

There's like, you know, big country.

Five, six times more truckers here than America.

And they're all going to have to learn to code.

If we send every Floridaian and every Chinese trucker in a and we put in a big field, no weapons.

Chinese truckers win.

You think?

100%.

Floridaians without their assault rifles, they have nothing.

You have to bear in mind that presumably get their guns.

You guys are thinking about Florida guy.

No weapons.

He said no weapons. But if they have weapons, obviously the Americans win.

But you're thinking of Florida man, but you're not thinking of Boca Raton elder.

A Boca Raton elder. Yeah, they're it's Florida. They're many many frail people.

Florida. They're many many frail people.

What's What's that to a guy who's fought a gator?

They don't fight gator.

They do fight gators.

I've seen some of the truck drivers, bro. Like they're kind of beast mode.

bro. Like they're kind of beast mode.

Real quick, though, since you've been offline, uh update on clvicular uh lately. So, he's actually gone to jail.

lately. So, he's actually gone to jail.

I'm not kidding. He gone he went to jail for on camera. You

sure you're not just getting clickbait?

Uh no, it really happened. He mag dumped a pistol into a dead gator in Florida and now he's uh he's been he's been arrested for that.

Gator had it come. My boy Cloud wouldn't do that unless that gator says something real [ __ ] up and already didn't ask him good enough questions in that interview. So he

that interview. So he he stood up and he [ __ ] left.

Yeah, he left that he left that guy.

So he stands on business and he kills offending gators. Yeah. Anything else I

offending gators. Yeah. Anything else I should know about him?

So yeah, I just wanted to keep you updated cuz I know I know that was probably on your mind the whole time.

check his phone in 20 days. By the way, I don't I think you you failed the side quest of your mission here with uh with Michael in China. You didn't ask people whether or not Jack Black or Show Otani was more famous.

I didn't do that. I also have another side mission I still have to do today. I

forgot about it.

What do you think though of that side mission if if you had to estimate based on your experience in China?

Uh I think they would know Jack Black more. Ah, it's tough because I think

more. Ah, it's tough because I think they would like show has like the uniform.

It's not tough.

He like the picture of him. He'd be like in the B. They'd be like baseball player and it' be tough for me to differentiate whether they know him or they're just looking at the uniform.

Sure.

But I look we watch a couple movies here.

One was called 731.

731.

Yeah.

Good flick or what?

You guys know about that?

No.

No.

Is this Chinese cinema?

Jack in it.

Chinese cinema. It is Chinese cinema.

Yeah. It's about uh Is it like Wolf Warrior?

Nope. Nope. Uh, what you guys know about Naning?

Oh, no.

What's that mean?

Uh, well, kiddo.

Oh, wait. Wait. Well,

what's that mean? Mom and dad, we we watch this movie. It's called 731. It's

about unit 731.

No. Oh my god.

Really?

Yeah. It's like a Yeah, it's like a fictionalized retelling of it and it's like it's a pretty gripping movie.

They make a movie about this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think they have a few movies about it, but this one came out kind of recently, and we basically scroll through movies until one has English subtitles. This is one of like 30 that have it, and it's like

this really harrowing tale about like a true story of basically a genocide of people in like northeast China. But

we're watching the movie and they say this line like two, three times and it and it was drilled in a way that I feel like it's a thing here. They were just like, "No, Japanese go to heaven."

Yeah. And then that that was weird when you said that while we were setting up.

Yeah. Because because me and Michael have been saying it. So So here's the deal. I don't think the test would be

deal. I don't think the test would be like a fun like Jack Blacker Show. Like

you hit the wrong person. They're like,

"Oh my god." Yeah, cuz he's Japanese.

They're saying that they're saying that right after you give Rich the chicken.

We this guy we met on the train and hung out with for a while. He was very, you know, very pro-China.

Uh dad in his 40s, had a lot to say. We

talked to him for a long time and he it came up in conversation that Doug was going to Japan after after we were done with China. And he just says

uh he he just says, "Bad to go to Japan right now. Don't go to Japan right now."

right now. Don't go to Japan right now."

There you go. Did you say why?

It's No, he didn't explain. But it's

politically like the uh Takichi been talking some [ __ ] about Taiwan. So

it's the China state TV is is like really hammering like don't visit Japan.

Japan's not chill right now. I don't

know what that is.

Wait, what does that mean? You keep

doing that. That like like good.

No, it means bad.

Middle finger.

You're the pinky, bro. You're the pinky.

You're the bottom. Oh, you've been doing this though.

Le is that like rock out?

Cool guy.

Cool guy.

Latte. Cool guy.

But if you just turn it, it's bad.

Middle finger.

Bad.

You're the pinky.

You're the pinky. You're You're lower than the lowest of the low.

Tiniest.

Yeah.

Wow. Okay. Good to know.

Yeah. We've been learning some things.

Got pulled over by the police.

Really?

Mhm.

What' they say?

Is it on cam and [ __ ] Ask too fat for the road.

What happened, dude?

They roll you. [ __ ] bad things, man.

What' you say?

We [ __ ] up.

You're [ __ ] up.

[ __ ] up.

What happened out there?

They take your passport.

They asked for everything.

Did they hassle you?

I [ __ ] up.

Did they throw you on the ground?

They're [ __ ] kissing us.

They spit you. They spit on you.

Spit on us.

Did they Did they push Did they push your breasts together?

And then they said, "Push your elbows together." Sounds like

together." Sounds like they said make your elbows touch.

Yeah, fat American pig. Make your elbows touch.

Did they take Did he take it and go?

I hate when you do that.

Keep tapping the tongue.

Yuck.

Dude, you keeping the tongue twice.

It was It was uh we we drove to Aaronhot, which is You keep talking about Awan, bro. Like,

we have that already.

It's the basically largest border town between China and Mongolia. also where

they discovered the the Gigantoraptor dick dinosaur.

Oh, it's funny. You go to Arenhot, you drive

it's funny. You go to Arenhot, you drive there, the road, there's two giant uh long neck dinosaurs on each side of the road and their heads meet in the middle and they're just tongue [ __ ] each other.

Oh, they're in love.

Like their t but it's really aggressive with the t like they are licking each other's tongues deeply.

Why do they make it like that?

I don't know. Don't you think I [ __ ] Dinosaurs have the best sex?

You saw some turtle bags.

They invented it. They invented sex.

They did not invent sex. I think sharks did.

No, man. I You're right. It is something in the water, but at what point did it become sex? So, I feel like it's at one

become sex? So, I feel like it's at one point it was just kind of we were just splitting splitting.

What was the first animal to give head?

That's my question.

That that probably had to be a whale. A

monkey pretty early, right? I bet it was a whale. Well, no, it was way before

a whale. Well, no, it was way before Neanderthals are pretty old, bro.

I think like a bronosaurus sucking another one off.

No.

Oh, maybe [ __ ] Oh, what about what the long neck sucking himself off?

That doesn't cut his head.

Yes, it does.

That's a good question.

When I do it, it does. So, when they do it, it does.

Why Why does this dinosaur have four ribs removed?

How did it do that?

What are your other What are some of your other You're juicy. You're juicy.

Police about the dog.

They throw him down. They start kissing him.

They start kissing his neck.

So, they're kissing you. So, so what hap what happened is we get to Arhot and it's a border town and we're there and we're like at the actual border and it's

like it's like a really cool it's labeled as like a tourist attraction. So

like these these big gates that you see and uh and we're not sure if it's the border. We're like is that Mongolia

border. We're like is that Mongolia right there? So we go up and and we're

right there? So we go up and and we're on the bikes and then there's like a guy working on the gate and I'm like can I because there's a gate blocking. And

he's like, "No."

And I'm like, "There's a little guy."

When you're dude, when the charisma check just fails.

Oh my gosh.

And he's like, and he's like, "That's that's Mongolia."

that's Mongolia." Uhoh.

Guys, they're kicking us out, which is totally cool. So, we're going to get on

totally cool. So, we're going to get on the mobile and we're going to continue this story where the cops kiss Lewig on his lips.

And we're back.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Look who we found.

Look what we found.

I keep holding I keep like squeezing his hand. I'm with the hamburger and my

hand. I'm with the hamburger and my monkeyy's out.

This is our third.

You're a thr.

We're a thruple. This is our third.

That's beautiful. Yeah.

I got into something with the Chinese hamburglar.

Dude, do you guys know who is the leader of like the hamler burglar town?

Ronald McDonald.

Ronald McDonald. Surely.

It's Mayor Mche.

Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense.

He's the mayor.

Is Ronald Is Ronald just like a lit teenager? Ronald like why do they all

teenager? Ronald like why do they all receive his name?

I think he's more like a celebrity. It's

like it's like there's the mayor of LA and then there's George Clooney Cruz. No, this is like this makes sense.

Cruz. No, this is like this makes sense.

Lazy like Lazy Town had had a mayor, right? But the cool guy was the was the

right? But the cool guy was the was the fitness man was sporty.

Was a fitness manicus.

Also, Lacy Town. Does this

Lacy Lacy Town's show something?

It's a children's show. It's

He teaches you how to like be lit. If

you knew how to vote Republican with your eyes closed, not knowing what anything means.

Sorry. Sorry. My children's show teaches them how to keep mad cuz Lacy's lit and he's up.

He is lit.

And y'all ain't up.

Uh, by the way, this is like uh the picture of us with virtual where it's Aiden except this is me.

Yeah. Like if I just get out the yard the yard podcast.

He's so straight.

It'd be no offense. It'd be a better pod.

You mean that?

He's obviously a non-offending French man.

You guys, he's a criminal. You guys like constantly trying to get it on track.

You guys want to go steal some burgers?

God, I can really get like a burger for free.

That was a really funny bid. I'm hungry.

Is that hungry and broke?

Hey, we're 200 episodes in, man. You got

to stop.

You don't think this guy would burn down a forest?

This guy.

Okay. Okay. Chill, man. Allegedly.

Damn. He needs some braces, too, bro.

One brace.

It looks like he has he always had one tooth.

I don't know. I don't know if this is more like a Beijing's take on the hamburger.

No, it's definitely just a hamburger, bro. This is what every American kind of

bro. This is what every American kind of looks like in I think the Chinese mind.

I think it's what every French person looks like in the American mind.

Feel his hand. It's very like is it It's weird, right?

Let him touch.

You like it?

Let him touch slime.

Oh, please give him a touch.

No, let him touch you.

Oh, touch my dude. Come on. Come on. There's a kids

dude. Come on. Come on. There's a kids park across. Okay.

park across. Okay.

No, there's not.

Yes. So, what happened with the police?

So, we're your Okay. So, we get to we get to the

Okay. So, we get to we get to the border. We drive up

border. We drive up and I'm like, "Is this the border?" And

can I can I go? He's like, "No, you can't. It's [ __ ] Mongolia." And then

can't. It's [ __ ] Mongolia." And then a border cop comes out and he's like he's like, "You got to turn around." I'm

like, "All right." And we [ __ ] off for a bit. Come back like 30 minutes later.

bit. Come back like 30 minutes later.

We're shopping. And we're like, "We both we both just we just want to have a toe in Mongolia." So I'm filming him right

in Mongolia." So I'm filming him right at the gate and and Michael dips a towin and then I go and he films me and I do this. I go

this. I go malicious compliance but for state lines.

The land mine goes off immediately.

Michael is in seven different places at once.

Borders between sovereign nations famously not a great place to [ __ ] around for malicious compliance. You

don't treat it like the dishes at home.

We were there real quick, bro. And

here's the deal. We just we just like and I can say now I've been to Mongolia.

It's all right.

It's all right. It's all right.

So wait, that was when you finished the trip?

Yeah. It's like the very end. We just we dip a we dip a finger in. Don't think

about it. Go. We have a awesome dinner.

It's a bunch of yurts cuz Mongolians have yurts cuz they're Somebody ought to smoke that yurt.

The the mom's in Mongolia and it's a nomadic tribe so they got yurts and they have all these yurt little like uh recreations where they have like dinner table. We have a family. There's beautiful night. There's

family. There's beautiful night. There's

a big fires fireworks. We dance.

It's like the end of like The Legend of Zelda. It was like the end of

Zelda. It was like the end of the end of revenge. Uh return. Yeah.

It's everyone's going yubn.

Who is the force ghost?

Uh it is definitely Cam off 10 siggies.

Yeah. I'm like and one and one of you's kissing your sister.

And everybody's having a nice time.

Yeah. Oh man, dude. Luke was bagging his sister.

That was cool.

Yeah.

And and so we're and we we go to we go to bed. We're like, "Fuck, man. We did

to bed. We're like, "Fuck, man. We did

it. Awesome." Wake up the next [ __ ] day.

We go downstairs.

Cops downstairs. I'm packing all my [ __ ] They're with Dave. Okay. Dave's

been like an editor along the trip with us. He don't speak a lick of Mandarin.

us. He don't speak a lick of Mandarin.

So he looks at me and they're like, they're like, "Do you speak Chinese?"

I'm like, "Little bit." And they're like, "Come with us." And they bring us in the hotel room. We gather the whole gang. And

gang. And basically they had tracked us from the border the previous night to the hotel we were at and they had like two policemen and like

one I'm assuming like [ __ ] detective cuz he's like kind of in street clothes and he's kind of leading it.

Was he wearing stripes and have one tooth and maybe looking for Yeah. He's like he's like [ __ ] I could

Yeah. He's like he's like [ __ ] I could use a [ __ ] he was in the back of his squad car. She's like, he's like, "I've

squad car. She's like, he's like, "I've already got one per tonight and now I got my eyes on you, Americ."

Uh, but he they they basically like they're like, "Yeah, we saw you filming at the border. You like we're wondering what you're filming. You can't be filming at the border." And Elisia's,

you know, speaks Chinese, so she's handling all of it. We're just [ __ ] dumb. They come and take a picture of

dumb. They come and take a picture of each of us and we're just sitting there and uh they had tracked us down to where we were and then they were like looking through our cameras and [ __ ] and they're

all formatted already.

So like media they're like what's on it and then Dan's like and they're like nothing and then they look through like my Digi and they're looking through the pictures.

I'm like those are my friends.

There's Michael's butthole spread spread with two hands.

There's a bunch of very tast on the hotel bed like this.

They're way more tasteful than that.

The next one I love throwing up.

Michael, he's deep throating like like a long piece of bread cuz he likes doing that.

He does.

He loves you. Remember remember in Italy when he did at the restaurant like four times?

He likes to put stuff in his mouth. He's

like Aiden in that way.

They're like babies.

So they're looking all through these pictures.

They're looking all through the picture.

They're trying to see if we have like if basically we've been filming [ __ ] we shouldn't cuz you're not supposed to film like and it's probably the most tense part is like any border crossing.

How many cops are there?

There's three. There's three. There's

two cops. There's one who's like kind of smiling, laughing, one who's like just [ __ ] poking through all her [ __ ] and then the detective who's like, you know, [ __ ] arms folded and he's like, "So,

what's where were you doing?" Zen and Well, well, well, you are hiding the Michael under the house. Yeah.

house. Yeah.

And old man, the one who spread is in there.

He's German. Why is he I think I know how to find him.

pointing the gun and then and then and then he comes out with a steam bowl of rice and Michael drifts over with his nose and I go found him.

Uh, and we can't show any of the footage basically. Well, but you got Wait, you

basically. Well, but you got Wait, you got footage of it? Who was filming?

Me and Michael were filming each other do it like put our Oh, you can't show the footage of you going in Mongolia.

Oh, okay. But this this altercation with the police was not filmed.

No. At one point I'm like, "Ooh, it might be cool to film." I whip out my phone. Cob comes over. He goes, "Can't

phone. Cob comes over. He goes, "Can't film." And I didn't even have my camera

film." And I didn't even have my camera out. I go, "I I don't know what to say."

out. I go, "I I don't know what to say."

So I go, "Well, the man you pa," which is means that's my lady friend because cutie had texted me. And he goes he goes "Nice dude."

dude." But we're there for like a straight hour of getting grilled.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Did they leave pissed off?

They left fine. They were just like, "Fuck, don't film it.

You can chill here cuz we're at the hotel. This is great." Not many have

hotel. This is great." Not many have probably played the I'm not touching you game with an entire country.

Yeah.

Well, see the thing about me and Nick is we're more gorilla journalists than you and Michael. We don't get scared. When

and Michael. We don't get scared. When

we go up to a crazy man's little room with a shower in it for some reason, we turn on the camera.

The police come to me. I say, "I've got a plan and we're going to hatch a plan and we're going to probably need a box. We need a container to put your ideas in. Officer,

what are your ideas?"

Imagine though, he's like, "Well, I guess I don't have a box of ideas. I

guess my I guess my my policeing He turns around like box box of ideas.

Is that part Anyone have a box of ideas?

Tell us more. What do you know?

He turns back. We're gone.

A cloud of smoke from Scooby-Doo.

What happened, dude? I just had the craziest dream.

dude? I just had the craziest dream.

What was it? What did you dream?

We were all We were all Chinese. We were

in China and we were all Chinese and we were doing the podcast like normal.

I don't know. Wash your me.

Did it actually happen?

Wash your pony. We were at this place called View and Chill, which I felt was a very American.

Hello, guys.

Hello.

You guys speak, you guys speak English, right?

I've been I've been struggling to sleep and I've been having these weird crazy dreams. Do you know of anything that could help me sleep?

No one understands you, Nick. No one

will ever understand you again.

What? I don't understand you. What

did What happened to How did this happen to you?

I can only hear Chinese, but I can only speak English.

What happened to you?

I don't know. I think it's my mattress.

It's very It's It's It's really lumpy on one side, and it's really hot on the other side.

You slept on the mattress of terror.

The mattress of terror?

No, it's the mattress.

I told you not to.

What do I do? I don't know how to get another mattress.

We have sleep. WE'VE BEEN SPONSORED BY IT FOR YEARS.

OH, I've had it for so long, but mine fell. It fell.

fell. It fell.

Mine fell. Lucky for you, they got they've got a fall policy.

It fell.

And you could take I know you could take the sleep quiz to get, you know, the best type of mattress for your type of sleep. You check the box. Your first the

sleep. You check the box. Your first the first question on it is uh do you want a mattress of tear? Most people check no.

You probably check yes, bro. And then

and then and then the next section on the sleep quiz is actually in the bottom right. You toggle the language that

right. You toggle the language that YOU'RE MOST FAMILIAR WITH.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS THERE.

And you probably pick Chinese. So that's

you're off to a bad start.

Look, we'll get you right. You got your Sleep Jones to customize your sleep. You

get free shipping and seamless delivery in the US. 120 night sleep trial. A

limited lifetime warranty. All this in yours. Okay.

yours. Okay.

Where do I go?

You could go to go to helixleep.com/yard

for 20% off sitewide. That's

helixleep.com/theard

for 20% off sitewide. Okay. And we'll

get you right and you won't have these crazy weird dreams where everything is the same language but different.

Okay. Well, I'm going to go back to sleep and when I go to bed, none of you guys get Chinese again. Okay.

All right. We won't. Let's hope you don't wake up in a restaurant.com/theard.

restaurant.com/theard.

It's Yeah, you can just go. Just don't

let it fall. How many things are deleted and or can't go in the actual show? Like

do you have a bunch? Do you have a little treasure trove?

Yeah, for sure. There's like a bunch like every day there's some [ __ ] like I [ __ ] I almost hit a dude.

Do you have any Do you have any cutting jokes? Like you're like ah it's a little

jokes? Like you're like ah it's a little too far.

Oh, way a lot.

A lot.

A lot.

Wow. You're getting a little edgy with Michael.

A lot.

That's what they did in Japan, bro.

They were saying some [ __ ] They were saying some [ __ ] cuz we're talking to each other, you know? We're

with each other every day, 24 hours a day. kissing, scissoring,

day. kissing, scissoring, and like we can't put that in.

Yeah. Can't put saying crazy [ __ ] about Taiwan.

You know what Nick said? The first day the the first episode came out, he's like, "Have you watched too?" I'm like, "Yeah." The thing is, I can't watch it.

"Yeah." The thing is, I can't watch it.

I can't watch the whole episode cuz I get jealous, not necessarily of Michael, but I just wish I was there. And so I It's like the sun. I can't watch it too much right?

But he was like, but Nick was like, "Dude, they're in love." And I'm like, "I know, bro. They're just in love with each other. You just you just That's

each other. You just you just That's your beard." Oh, no. Cutie is your

your beard." Oh, no. Cutie is your beard. Sorry.

beard. Sorry.

God forbid I love him, man.

Would you have to You have to pick between Michael Reeves and Connor Dog's VA.

Yeah.

Oh, between them two?

Yeah.

I shoot you three.

Yeah.

That wasn't It's weird cuz it wasn't a part of the But yeah, I get it.

Yeah. And then I [ __ ] I'm not offending by the way. So it's

like why would you kill you three? [ __ ] Conor Mary Michael for sure.

Yeah, that you don't get to No, it's more like shot all three. I have three bullets. You have three bullets.

bullets. You have three bullets.

So it's a FMK KKK.

I do one.

And one bullet takes three out. And then

I do two more just cuz for slime cuz he's a big horse.

Triple triple.

He's a big horse.

I'm just like he's like oh then another please.

Yeah. There's a uncut version that you could make that would be a bit ranch.

Dude, you should do a you should upload the uncut version to Patreon. Uncut tip

to tip and you guys are tongue kissing and saying crazy words or straight up Billy Billy.

That would be the worst site to put it on.

Yeah, cuz they see it.

Why?

You're not coming back. You've taken

back with yours already.

But he wants to be let back in.

Yeah, I want to be let back in, bro. I

still got a visa.

So do I.

I got [ __ ] to do. I still got to go to Yunan.

You think Yunan? Why?

It's supposed to be like the prettiest part of China. Oh,

I do. You're not You're not casting away this toy.

No, I haven't been to Yunan. And I and I I got a friend now, bro. I got Lee.

He He's [ __ ] around. I think I think he's going to touch down on American soil. He's going to have a big stinky uh

soil. He's going to have a big stinky uh Arch, which is a new burger that came out from McDonald's.

And he's going to have that. Don't let

this guy hear about it, by the way.

True.

And and he's going to sit down and he's going to be like, "You know what? I did

100% China. It's over now."

You Well, you know about Lee, right? Did

you see that episode?

Yeah. The guy with the Yeah. I saw you got interviewed by Chinese state media, too.

Yeah, you got interviewed by like a huge newspaper or some [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I guess.

Oh, news a local newspaper. That's what

it wasn't even local. It was the provincial one.

Oh, that was that was a wholesome episode.

Uh, he did. Okay. Am I crazy? Does he look

he did. Okay. Am I crazy? Does he look like Jeremy Rener?

Yeah, you're crazy. You're insane.

I feel like he does.

You're batshit crazy.

He kind of like looks like Jeremy Rener.

Am I crazy?

I He looks like he'd be on the app maybe, but you don't look like Jeremy Rener himself. Now, we uh we we talk daily.

himself. Now, we uh we we talk daily.

No, me and Lee. Yeah, I talk to him every day.

That's so fun.

FaceTime last night. He's coming to the States.

Oh, Lee's coming.

We made a friend, too.

Wait, he's he's visiting.

How's How's a custom suit sound? Good

enough for Paul Pierce.

What about a custom? Okay, that's who I thought it was.

Yeah, you got lucky, by the way. Why is that?

Cuz he is wet from three.

Yeah, cuz that could have been Kevin Garnett.

You I really would have said that about any basketball player.

Yes. And Paul Pierce. Paul Pierce can shoot. There were the first day we got

shoot. There were the first day we got to Hong Kong. We were getting a coffee in the morning. It was just me and Nick and there's this uh guy in a suit sitting at the coffee shop. He's an

Indian guy and I ask him where we can go get suits tailored cuz I just kind of want to see if he has an answer and I kind of want to make conversation and he's a British dude. Just almost

disgusted. I asked the question, I would say like he he's cuz he's like he like you guys like get a suit. Sort of an air of I've just gotten here. I'm disgusting.

And I was like, "Yeah, we need one for like a gag we're shooting."

We're going to go to Macau. We never got to go.

We're only here for a day. And he's just like a day. Like I couldn't. And I I I immediately wanted to retract that. I

had asked. I was like, I I've engaged with posh British man who douch. So he

was a a stuffy Hong Kong British guy.

Was he British or from Hong Kong?

He's he's British. I mean, he's ethnically Indian, but he was very British.

He's lived in Hong Kong for like six to eight years.

Hong Kong.

The hamburglar is confused by these concepts, by the way.

The hamburger.

Did he have a Did he have a burger?

Yeah, he was a little bit of a doubt.

The coffee the coffee shop. Did it have any burgers?

I don't I don't really know what I don't really know what this guy's deal was, but I think it was because we were saying like a mixture. We were being fairly confused. It was a little

fairly confused. It was a little confusing.

Aiden was like, "We need suits." And

he's like, "Oh, so you want a nice suit?" And he's like, "Well, it doesn't

suit?" And he's like, "Well, it doesn't have to be that nice." And the guy's like, "So you don't want a nice suit?"

And he's like, "Well, we want it to be nice."

nice." Leave it to Aiden to overexlain. I got

It was a lot of overexplaining. He's

like, "We're shooting a" And he You could tell he didn't want to explain what YouTube was to the man, but he was like, "We're shooting like a video."

That's why you just lie. Like take a take a page out of me, Nick, and Lwig's book.

My first question. Don't put don't put me in the same way you guys.

All I asked at the beginning was, "Hey, do you know a place where we could get suits?"

get suits?" Yeah. And that was your first mistake.

Yeah. And that was your first mistake.

That's all I said.

That was your first mistake.

You lied when we were at that restaurant setting up. He did he kept doing this

setting up. He did he kept doing this thing where he he was pretending to the the woman that was helping us that Nick was his boss. And so he would like rush to like put a chair near Nick and help him out. And

him out. And if I start cleaning something, love's like, "No, no, no. Let me clean that."

He did this for no reason. He's like,

"He's my boss. I have to do what he says."

says." Wa dagger.

Yeah, bro. That's boss. You good? By the

way, you need any water?

Me?

Yeah.

Why you saying that? Boss,

did you need boss?

Oh, yeah. I need water.

Okay. Yeah, I got you, boss.

Do you have a hamburger?

You got a cigarette?

Do we have any burgers left in there?

Dude, being uh being here makes me want to smoke a cigarette for sure.

Yeah, man.

Everyone just like it's like a currency.

Do you want to try your first one?

Nothing will happen to you.

You'll cough a lot. There are three facts about China, right?

Nothing will happen to me except addiction.

Three facts.

One, [ __ ] everyone smokes.

Yeah.

And and kids, too. There's one kid I met cuz we're getting gas. Five kids pull up on like dirt bikes and [ __ ] Okay.

I'm like, damn, what the hell? And we're

talking to him a bit and then they go to give me a cigarette and um they look like I don't know, high teens, early 20s.

Okay.

And but one of them looks like he's a 17-year-old. And so they all give me a

17-year-old. And so they all give me a cigarette. So then I give them one

cigarette. So then I give them one cigarette back except for the 17-year-old. I go I go too young. And

17-year-old. I go I go too young. And

then they all laugh at him. Then he

pulls out a cigarette, puts it in his mouth.

Damn.

And like I'm trying to I'm so I'm like I'm like I'm like how old are you? He's

like 17. I'm like okay. You smoke? 17.

He's like yeah. I'm like you smoke 16.

He's like yeah. I got down to 11. And

the dude's like yep. That's when I started 11 years old. He started

smoking. Was he Was he three feet tall?

He's tall as hell, actually.

He was like cooler Aiden, bro. Yeah,

he was tall. Lanky smoked.

If Aiden started smoking at 11, it would have changed everything.

God, you would have been so [ __ ] You'd be so cool.

But you're not.

You're just not.

Yeah, Chinese kids are cooler, bro.

Kidtown. There's a place we went.

You say Kidtown?

Yeah, there's Kid Town.

It's like something I would make up an hour ago.

Kidtown is my favorite episode.

No, we No, no, no, no. That That's Kid Day.

My bad. Sorry. Confused. Kidtown is

episode 12. We go to Kidtown. These two

these two kids bring us to Kidtown. It's

not out yet. These two bring kids bring us to Kidtown. It's like a pool hall with like a hundred kids and they're all [ __ ] playing pool smoking outside.

They all have their own Yeah.

Like like that uh part of Pinocchio when they go to the Magic Island.

Yeah. With all the donkeys.

Dude, it honestly felt like what ' 70s America was like.

You You can walk through if you want.

No, you don't have to apologize. Don't

worry about We're just hanging out with a hamburger.

But yeah, we uh the kids town, like the kids here, they're [ __ ] cool.

Yeah, they're cool. Yeah, they smoke. Everyone

they're cool. Yeah, they smoke. Everyone

rides a scooter.

Yeah, that's cool.

Like at age like like kids like little babies are on scooters.

Yeah, you're charmed.

It's like our introduction to China was so like stereotypical. We got off the plane, the first thing I saw was a video of a break dancing robot and then slime immediately had a robot make him boba.

I had the Yeah, I had the robot make me a boba drink. Oh, hell yeah.

And it and it did exactly what I needed.

You know, it was very different than Hong Kong. It would have felt, I guess,

Hong Kong. It would have felt, I guess, less like that, but it was we were saying auto should we should get one of those for the warehouse and auto can like mount a 50 cal to it or something.

Like he could he could make that thing sane.

We No more packages stolen.

They love having robots do [ __ ] here.

Like when we were at Jade Garden getting dinner, there was robots like picking up the glasses and the dishes everywhere.

It was honestly pretty undignified. that

I kept saying because it's like there there are nice weight staff in this place that is trying to look nice and then there's like these dinky shitty stupid robot. I hate robots.

stupid robot. I hate robots.

You just hate robots.

I think I hate robots and your American mind makes you want to have them have guns.

You bring a [ __ ] flipper zero here.

You can just make everyone fall over like pluribus.

Yeah, they just pass out in the street.

Oh yeah, the three facts. Everyone

smokes.

Everyone throws their siggies on the ground after they're done.

See, I didn't do that.

They throw them on the ground.

Everything you did?

No, I picked it up. You threw it down the ground over there instead.

Oh, over there. But I didn't do it here because I'm near I'm near Sorry, I didn't realize we were talking about over there.

I'm just saying I'm near the hamburglar.

I'm saying right now I picked it up because I thought it'd be rude. But I

guess Yeah. The thing is cuz we've asked

Yeah. The thing is cuz we've asked several times cuz I'm always like, "Where'd I put the cigarette?" And they just go You feed it back to the earth.

You feed it back to wish it.

The streets are kind of clean because every single street, even the most rural area, has like a task force hired just to sweep.

That's cool. Stimulates the economy. We

put the cigarettes on the ground. You

guys clean it up. Everyone has a job.

If you don't throw it on the ground, there's no job to help.

Exactly. Well, you want robots to do that too.

Yeah.

If I don't throw my cigarette on the ground, everyone will be unemployed.

Yeah. Everything kind of crumbles beneath our feet.

It feels bad. Like, I've seen like I'm like in a cab and the guy just throws a water bottle out.

I'm like, that's Oh, damn. That's That's

probably That's big trash.

Yeah, that's big trash, dude. We left.

dude. We left.

Little trash is okay. in Hong Kong. So,

we I had to edit the uh the episode of The Yard last week and we we we hadn't eaten and so I was like, "Rich, please give me food. I don't care what it is." And in the mall, our hotel was above them all. And in the mall,

there was Shake Shack. And I'm like, "Give me Shake Shack. [ __ ] it. I'll eat

Shake Shack." We I don't know what happened, but we kept the bag of Shake Shack on our bed.

Oh, it like Yeah.

And when removed, there was a burger stain.

It like peed itself there. Yeah. It the bag like peed itself

there. Yeah. It the bag like peed itself and there was just a big burger stain on the bed which I left. It was really scary. I don't know.

scary. I don't know.

There's I can't think of anything else that was in the bag that would leave a brown stain.

Wait, wait, wait.

Okay, there was a burger stain.

Wa.

It was so gross. It looked like I like I like ejaculated on the bed, but really big. And

big. And Have you guys Door Dashed?

No. I was telling Nick about this.

Yeah. Last night, Aiden was saying that you can get a robot to bring you boba to your hotel room on any floor and I was like, that's the most lit [ __ ] ever. I'm

I tried for like an hour.

I think it was like the first night in Shanghai. Uh Atrik orders just food to

Shanghai. Uh Atrik orders just food to the hotel and he got three meals for $12. Delivery fees included.

$12. Delivery fees included.

Dude, I Yeah, I ordered some [ __ ] The delivery fee was a dollar. I'm like,

"This doesn't make sense."

The economics aren't here.

What What is some some young guy showed us? He was like, "Here, let me show you

us? He was like, "Here, let me show you and I'll I'll like order this like cleaner." It's like a $2 cleaner all in

cleaner." It's like a $2 cleaner all in shipping from Shanghai to Shenzhen, which is like the entire like coast of the country. That's how much it costs

the country. That's how much it costs for him to ship that and arrive to him and it comes in like a day for $2.

For $2.

What the [ __ ] What did they figure out?

I don't know, bro. But like that's so many workers are Door Dash drivers and it doesn't make economic sense. We

interviewed one of the the drivers on the the like second or first day we were here. He was like 21 years old. He had

here. He was like 21 years old. He had

immigrated for another province to Shanghai. And he was just talking about

Shanghai. And he was just talking about Yeah. Like literally work seven days a

Yeah. Like literally work seven days a week. All I do is drive. And he showed

week. All I do is drive. And he showed us the app like how much money he makes.

He gets like 7 yuan 10 yu on a ride.

71's a dollar.

Yeah.

And uh and he said he makes$10,000 a month. 10 which is like $1,400.

a month. 10 which is like $1,400.

Yeah. It's not a lot. But then also everything's [ __ ] cheap as hell.

Well, wait. What if dream with me?

I'm dreaming.

What if we all became What if we all moved to Macau for 10 years?

You couldn't last for 10 years.

He keeps saying Macau.

It would be awful to No, it wouldn't. We could become poker players.

Year two. What's the big difference in year two for us than year one?

We know we know a year's worth of more of information. So by by year nine are

of information. So by by year nine are we have a business together or we just Year nine we're probably billionaires poker billionaires.

Yeah, we're poker billionaires because we played so good.

Yeah, we we we basically take Dan Bazarian for all he's got and then we bankroll Tom Dwan to get his money back from the Chinese.

So Tom Dwan's finally free.

He's finally free. Free Tom Dwan.

He has to work for it.

Yeah, there's no free lunches. But that's

because we've become such an immense good poker. Do you know Tom?

good poker. Do you know Tom?

He doesn't gamble.

It just steals.

You guys don't want to move to Macau for 10 years with me.

No, dude.

Just say no. Don't but don't string me along.

I didn't. I said you said no. Kind of

shut up and kind of don't string me along.

Yeah. I think it would be hard to live in China. Cuz if you lived here 10

in China. Cuz if you lived here 10 years, year 10, you'd have people coming up to you being like, "Whoa, you're a foreigner.

You speak Chinese."

But we actually asked this guy. There's

a dude we met that works at a university. He's like a program director

university. He's like a program director there. White American guy. He's lived in

there. White American guy. He's lived in Shanghai for 30 years. And I was like, doesn't it get like at this point, wouldn't you get like kind of jaded or annoyed? And he's like, Happens every

annoyed? And he's like, Happens every time without fail. They like can't believe I can speak the language. It's

just kind of awesome. It's just the way it is.

I guess you are constantly being flattered. Yeah.

flattered. Yeah.

It's like It's like everyone's always impressed at you.

It's like walking around like Markiplier in LA.

Yeah. Everyone's looking at you like, "Whoa, whoa, dude.

Can I get a picture of you?"

Look, you have a future here in in a different type of content. It's I guess tip the tip was kind of this, but if you you know, like those like white guys speaking impeccable Mandarin videos.

Yeah.

You But like you still title it that, but it's just speaking the level of Mandarin you can now and like everyone is just like doesn't You're saying like I am a cheese baby to people.

I could be gimmicky foreigner.

You've never learned 10 years of not learning a lot. foreigner in China would be so easy, but it wouldn't be it it would it would basically be let's be monkey.

Let's be monkey.

Yeah, the the joke runs out pretty quick. Chinese is such a funny language

quick. Chinese is such a funny language and maybe ours is the same as well, but basically it's a beautiful language. It's tonal.

It is tonal and it is beautiful, but you change you change one thing and it turns from like hello, it's nice to meet you to like prostitution truck in my house.

Yeah, last night. So it's just so you were saying cat loud to so many people.

Last night me and Michael are just with like his phone trying to get like the translator app to understand us saying hotel.

So we're just going we're going Judian and we do like 10 rolls in all 10. It's

like it was like pig trotters like [ __ ] slave shack. I was like what do what the [ __ ] am I saying dude?

Yeah. I I like before I came here, I was like, I got to know one phrase. Like I

need like a I need like a go-to. And and

the one it was kind of a dumb one to learn, but I was like, do you speak English? I was just going to learn that

English? I was just going to learn that one. And on the car ride to the airport,

one. And on the car ride to the airport, I'm like to my girlfriend, I'm like saying it over and over and over and over again. And the first thing I do

over again. And the first thing I do when I get off the plane, it's like, Aiden, Aiden, tell me if I say this right. And I I try it and he's like, I

right. And I I try it and he's like, I have no [ __ ] idea. I don't Let me try Let me try to remember it. I lost it cuz Aiden told me it was wrong. So I was like, oh, I don't need it. I'm not going to be able to say it right. Uh uh.

It is funny. It was like one of the only things I can say.

Uh something, dude. What the [ __ ]

dude. What the [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was it.

That was close.

Ying is the word. I I couldn't remember.

So, off.

He's cuz he's just going.

Say Say ying again.

So, you kind of missed the Y. You kind

of skipped.

Yeah, you skipped the Y.

inguen penguin.

Yeah, sometimes because when you say you're American, that draws it's like, whoa, you're American.

Sometimes if it's like an older Chinese guy, I'm like, yeah, I'm British, but you don't have an accent.

Yeah, they don't know. We're speaking

Chinese to each other, dude. I did when So, we got on the boat before the chop came for us and we're and we're setting up and there's these two there's these two like

maybe like 30year-old Chinese guys that got on a boat near us and and they're pumped. They like yell across. They're

pumped. They like yell across. They're

like, "Are you guys like where are you from?" And uh the Lwig's like, you know,

from?" And uh the Lwig's like, you know, we're we're American in in Chinese. And

then he he's his new bit is where are you guys from? Are you Chinese?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If they ask where I'm from, I go Megaran. They go Megaran. And

I go you.

We had a video of it. Maybe we can insert it here. But there was a beautiful transaction. Lo was like, "Do

beautiful transaction. Lo was like, "Do you want a cigarette?" And we had to back the boats up. It was like Michelangelos.

Yeah. And there was like a reach. It was

like It was Genesis.

And they took it and they were so thrilled. And then they gave you what a

thrilled. And then they gave you what a a bum ass cigarette.

Gave you some bum ass Beijing siggy. And

I gave him the [ __ ] Hanan Gold Leaf.

Yeah. I bought

But that's cultural exchange sometimes.

I bought a pack cuz it had a cool yellow monster on it. It was like a like a weird de banana demon, but then they were so thin and they were feminine cigarettes. And I you can tell the pack

cigarettes. And I you can tell the pack and I smoked one and then I I became I have group breast.

Then I became a manu.

What's a manu?

Uh pretty lady.

You go menu which is which is waitress check please.

Manu Yeah. I mean, you

Yeah. I mean, you check please.

How do you say missionary?

Do you know that one?

Did you learn that one?

Not him and Michael don't do that [ __ ] No, no, no.

Why would he learn that that word that he will never need?

Maybe uh schwang engine.

Wang engine.

Yeah.

What does that translate to?

Missionary.

Michael's lowkey the top in that relationship.

100%.

Yeah. You're a power bottom, obviously.

I I think I think Ludwig likes the foundation of a bottom, right? Like the

they do all the work. Well, power bottom generator.

You think you were doing all the work?

Power as the bottom. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

I meant on the trip.

No, I think we are we are very like welloiled machine together. We require

both parts.

Mhm.

Uh and where I falter, he picks up and where he falters, I pick up.

What are the what are the strengths and weaknesses of you both on the trail?

Like I have boundless confidence.

Yeah. to engage in an interaction or make a decision and then he is DPS. I'm

tanky's DPS.

DPS in what sense?

Like he can what? Speak better.

He's language.

No, he's just more tactful. So like what will happen is I'll tank and then slowly like I start losing HP cuz they realize I can't speak Chinese and then they turn to Michael and Michael the whole time is

just thinking of one thing to kind of get us through the interaction.

Are you It sounds like you're like pickpocketing people. So you you give

pickpocketing people. So you you give it sounds like you just go first and he goes second. I don't think that there's

goes second. I don't think that there's no time to charge.

What happens is because they're slowly realizing I don't speak Chinese. They

give up on me and they turn to Michael, you know, who has more of a what have you?

More of an Asian look.

Okay.

And they're like or they're like, "Oh, this guy knows." And he could say the same thing I say, but they'll get it when he says it sometimes.

Interesting. Yeah. I think

Wait, do they think he's white or Asian?

They must think he's white. I think they think he's white, but you know, sometimes maybe they have a question.

I think to to many people, you appear as Michael's dog.

Are you I was I was wondering after this after Chip Tip's over, are you like pumped to go home or do you actually wish you had more time here to just enjoy it and like not be on camera?

I think two weeks is a great amount. I

think we This was a bit long.

Really?

Yeah. I mean, just especially the food poisoning.

Oh, yeah.

Cuz like the days after the food poisoning were just [ __ ] and we got less confident in our Chinese. We felt worse.

We're sad and then it picked up again. So, it was like nice towards the end, but I think we both were like, "Fuck, this was long."

long." Do you think do you like feel you're way less equipped than you were in Japan?

Cuz it looks like that.

Well, yeah, because Japanese you can do some B. You can just speak in a accent

some B. You can just speak in a accent and say English words and that gets you a far.

Okay.

You can go to Sure.

My my opinion was watching was that like I feel like you guys cracked it cracked into a code like not being as good at the language. I think it made the the

the language. I think it made the the series better by a lot.

It was so many of I think what other people's favorite moments were and like my personal favorite moments were were when you would go up to a guy and be like I am a cheeseburger AK-47 and then the guy would look at you like

what is going on and then that like like don't get any ideas. Those are like my favorite moments, but I feel like they just happened way less often in Japan because you guys got better at the language.

Yeah. Well, also I think in Japan like the way like people I think were just less interested I think people are very nice and very polite and like tried to help us as best they could. But here I

think is like they just don't see many foreigners. So they were just like some

foreigners. So they were just like some people are just super [ __ ] pumped which didn't really happen in Japan has the opposite problem.

They're kind of not trying to see foreigners. They're they're they

foreigners. They're they're they sometimes people get mad about the foreigners here. We go to a [ __ ]

foreigners here. We go to a [ __ ] random ass village. They're like,

"You're the first person who's white who's ever stepped foot here."

You were the king now. Welcome. So,

well, not the king. Not the What do you want to name it? No, that was way different than Japan. But also led to like I have

than Japan. But also led to like I have like 20 people's WeChat chat.

Oh, wow.

You should get have a group chat and you should just send updates every quarter uh with all these people in every fiscal quarter. Nikki In types out a giant

quarter. Nikki In types out a giant Chinese message in the WeChat chat group for all the people Lewig met along the way.

I genuinely spoke to some of them like two words and I got their WeChat chat. I

mean, some I'll probably keep in contact with for a little bit.

Yeah, dude.

Lee, I'll be a lifelong friend.

Did you see maybe you did see it, but someone uh it was an April Fool's joke where it's like you went live on April Fool's Day. Uh I think maybe it was a

Fool's Day. Uh I think maybe it was a screenshot or someone did it as a joke.

Maybe it was Tim or something. I

actually don't know. But Yingwing

freaked out on Twitter and he was like, "Oh my god, is he back?" And everyone was clowning the [ __ ] out of he fell for it.

He fell for it. And he's Yingling.

He's the guy with all the tools to not fall for.

He's He's the guy that Yeah, but he's also the guy who falls rap fools jokes.

Dude, he was It was It was like I felt kind of bad cuz it's like this is the thing that make fun of you for and you can What can you do?

You want a little Chinese tip?

Yeah. America. What? How does the nod work? Like if you see someone walking

work? Like if you see someone walking by, how do you nod at them?

Oh, you go up.

Kind of.

Kind of.

You go up if you know them, down if you don't.

Sure.

I I like giving up nods even if I don't know them.

I know. I think I Well, personally, I think down nod is like I'm trying to get by you. Like

by you. Like that's someone you don't know. Yeah.

But but but even if I if I just see someone and I'm walking by and I'm trying to say hello, I'm going like Yeah. That's usually someone you know,

Yeah. That's usually someone you know, right?

No random person.

I am an upnodder a lot. I love upnots.

What do you do?

I I upnod if I know him. I down nod I don't.

For me up is up nod is hello. Down nod

is like I I'm needing something.

I think your rubric is what I do.

Excuse me. Down is excuse me. That's

that's what it is.

What swaggers do is upnot if you know them. Down not if you don't. Okay. I

them. Down not if you don't. Okay. I

don't know what the menus do. I'll leave

that to you guys. Japan is

I'm I'm not a menu.

I'm up I'm up nodding everyone I see.

Japan's like 80° of nods down.

Yeah.

I being in the Tokyo station and watching a group of people do the thing where they like all stay there and like back away as they bow over and over again. Have you ever seen that?

again. Have you ever seen that?

Yeah. Yes. Oh my god. It's actually real to see in real life.

It's It's like they're both trying to escape the interaction.

And then as soon as you like this invisible line eventually breaks with enough distance where they can like turn around without feeling guilty. It looks

exhausting. It's like It looks like buying a car.

Yeah.

And then in China, it's just a process.

China, you only upnod.

You only upnod.

I would. That's why I would fit in.

What would down mean if I did it?

They don't do it. It's I mean, they would get it.

Okay.

But it's an upnot society.

Oh, it'd be like upnoding a Japanese guy who's downing you.

Oh my god.

You're going the wrong way.

And he parries it.

I'm going to upnot every person I see on the way back home except you.

Oh, he's happy. I've never seen him like this. And he got some toothpaste on his

this. And he got some toothpaste on his shirt.

Dude, who's getting the best? Who's

getting the best head?

It's definitely Grimace. It's definitely

Grimace.

Wait, you said there's Ronald?

Yeah, I'll go see Ronald.

Dude, he got [ __ ] on him.

That's exactly what I was saying.

It's toothpaste on his shirt. Come on.

Atriarch in China.

I haven't talked to him in real life.

First thing I said to him is, "Are you flying to Israel?"

Yeah, I heard that.

He's a fresh painted McDonald. I think

they I think they do rounds. Dude, this

is a nice This is probably the nicer McDonald's I've been to.

This is exactly how I think I look to everyone here. They see me walking

everyone here. They see me walking around, they see this guy.

They see Ronald McDonald clown shoes.

He should be a legendary Bellatro card.

I don't know why he's not.

Wow, that's a good idea.

The McDonald's collab.

Yeah, that'd be sick.

Oh my god, you're a thinker.

Think of the merch.

The Bellatro McDonald's merch.

Imagine the hat in the tea.

I'm surprised they haven't made him a Magic card.

Oh, hey, that with that dumper, man. I

don't know if you're a little big. He You're kind of break. You're kind of breaking him.

break. You're kind of breaking him.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh, I can't sit on Ronald.

Sorry for my large friend.

Oh, I can't sit on Ronald McDonald.

I'm sorry.

It's just I'm sorry.

Okay. So, so real quick, what's your what's your Rose Bud Thorn? What's your

What's your highlight? Your video

all of China.

Yeah. All of China.

I think the rose is like like the people I've met.

Like there were some cool people in tip to tip one, but like Oh, they got Wendy, too.

Who's Wendy?

I actually don't know that one.

She's a chicken.

Oh, like a nugget.

She represents nuggets.

She represents getting eaten.

Me, too.

Hell yeah.

She represents nuggets.

Yeah. I think probably the people cuz there were some awesome people who I'll probably keep in touch with, too. My bud

is like looking forward to. That's funny to say cuz I'm [ __ ] leaving.

What are you talking about?

He said rose bud form. I I prefer I prefer high, medium, low.

Stem. I prefer stem.

Oh, yeah. The butt is the middle.

yeah. The butt is the middle.

That's not what it is. No,

the butt is the thing.

The original road bud.

Oh, it's just a worse format.

So, we we ch we adjusted this to stem my stem.

Yeah. The most middle part of your trip is probably the driving.

But don't you love the motorcycle?

I love the motorcycle. There's some beat ass roads in the Chinese.

I got a question. How what percentage of when you guys are driving are you talking to each other like not on the video like in real time?

Uh it depends on the day like the sick day like very minimally. If it's raining or cold or a mountain pass very minimally.

If it's like a nice day and we're just riding we're talking like pretty much the whole time.

Wow.

Was there was there any time that you guys were mad at each other?

No. He want he he thought he spit on my hand once and he asked me like a hundred times if I was mad at him.

Oh, he should just to mess with his head. He should have said yes.

head. He should have said yes.

Well, he I he asked me once and I was like, "No, no, I didn't even think about it." But then he kept and then he

it." But then he kept and then he started asking as a joke. He goes,

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

Uh, no. We never really get mad at each other.

That's beautiful, bro.

Look at that, Rich.

A pretty ass view.

It did clear up quite a bit in the morning. It was pretty bad. This is the

morning. It was pretty bad. This is the chop, by the way. Hey, no one's allowed to be on the water right now.

There's some chop out. I really wish we were my thorn is that damn chop.

What's the thorn?

The outside of the chop.

Outside of outside of food poisoning.

Outside the chop.

Outside of the chop and food poisoning.

Yeah.

[ __ ] Probably probably the Chinese language.

Wow.

That [ __ ] is hard.

Yeah, you guys are not very good. But

I'm actually impressed at how good you got.

It just feels sad when you it's like a long day riding, it's raining, and you're like, "Where's the hotel?" And

they're like, "Pig trotters, are you hungry? Are you hungry? You want to

hungry? Are you hungry? You want to treble on the ground?"

And I'm like, "No, Judy." And they're like, "No." No, it's six. I'm like,

like, "No." No, it's six. I'm like,

"Fuck."

Yeah. It's just real hard.

Saying cat loud and getting the door slammed in your face.

Yeah. And I can't blame them. Like it's

not them [ __ ] up. I definitely when we were in Hong Kong like I was like, "Oh my god, everyone speaks English. It

is so nice." And the moment we got to Beijing, the first person I needed help from I talked to that knew I had no idea what I was saying.

He lost his passport.

Yeah. Well, I left my passport on the plane and I deboarded.

Wow. You're an idiot. And I was just like, "Oh my god."

Downstairs waiting in the atrium and they're they eventually ask us what we're doing cuz we've been there for like 25 minutes and they're like, "What what happened?" And our friend lost his

what happened?" And our friend lost his passport. They all instantly laugh.

passport. They all instantly laugh.

Yeah. They just start laughing.

Yeah. That's the right call.

I had to go bang on the glass and like all these people were like like scared cuz I'm making all this noise. But like

I had no option. I'm just like I need that. Like if I don't get that I'm

that. Like if I don't get that I'm [ __ ] You want me to wrap up all of China?

Like all of it.

All of it.

I guess it's the friends you make along the [ __ ] way.

It's the chop that you drive through.

It's okay.

All right. Well, that's been the yard with Lewig of video games and now China.

We're reunited.

It's nice to It feels so good to be reunited.

It's nice that you guys are still my friend at the end of this. Honestly,

you were disgusting this whole trip.

I've never offended. I don't understand.

And he never will until he does.

Anyway, uh when you see us again, we'll be back on our big fake uh set that looks like it's outside, but it's inside. Everything will be back to

inside. Everything will be back to normal, and Lwig will be collabing with Lacy like God for RT rotoscope AND A SHARK. WHOA.

DOES CHINA use a big vacuum on the sky to fight pollution?

Just wanted to see you type that.

I mean, maybe Gemini, get back to me on that.

Yes. Well,

there you go. AI Sam Alman Sam Alman and his disgusting scat fetish brain tells us that yes, China has experimented with large industrialized airs.