What I’d beg every woman in her 20s to know about morning routines

Why do we crave routine? Like I was saying, some of us crave routine because we feel a lack of control. But what is it about routine that makes us feel in control? And it's that sense of

control? And it's that sense of familiarity. It's that sense of knowing

familiarity. It's that sense of knowing what to expect. And the reason why it feels good is because your nervous system can finally relax. It doesn't

need to worry about what comes next and how to prepare for what comes next.

[music] [music] Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of The 20s Detox. I'm

Bianca, your host, where we dive into all the things that I'm learning and unlearning in my 20s to elevate this decade. If you're listening on Spotify

decade. If you're listening on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, make sure to follow along. If you're watching on YouTube,

along. If you're watching on YouTube, make sure to subscribe and put the notifications on so you don't miss a post. As you guys already know, I mainly

post. As you guys already know, I mainly do my episodes after a journal dump.

What came up for me a lot right now is the theme of routines. I used to have a very interesting relationship with routines. And I think as I've navigated

routines. And I think as I've navigated my own ways of living to become more flexible after therapy, after going back and forth through the soft life and

hustle life, I do have an entire podcast episode that I just released a couple weeks ago about that. I have created a much healthier relationship with

routines. And because I've been on both

routines. And because I've been on both ends of that extreme spectrum, I can recognize in other people, and especially creators online, when they

are maybe on one extreme more than the other. You might see this a lot about

other. You might see this a lot about keywords that say "becoming that girl" or "getting my life together." You might follow YouTube creators that have new

routines that pop up. I used to be someone that would create these amazing perfect routines on paper. And it

excited me and it was like, this is what's going to get me up in the morning and this is what's going to be perfect for me after I'm done work for the day.

And I have lost the plot really on what routines are. I think a lot of people

routines are. I think a lot of people actually forget the point of routines, the the purpose of them beyond [clears throat] trying to have your life

feel all together. And before I get into how I approach my routines now, I wanted to just tell you a quick story time because I'm about to go on a trip. I'm

recording all of these in advance. So

actually I'm on the trip right now. As

I'm preparing for this trip, it made me think of the trip I did a full year ago today.

Very last minute, I was given the opportunity to go on a retreat. It

changed my life and our days were set up in a way that was really about slowing down. Okay? Like there was no get up at

down. Okay? Like there was no get up at the crack of dawn to do yoga. Like no,

we did we did that at like 9:00 a.m. So

we could sleep in. We had a lot of free time. We had co-creation workshops,

time. We had co-creation workshops, which means that a lot of the time that this host of the retreat creates our workshops, it's also around who's showing up and with the types of people

that are coming. And I was on this retreat, I was talking to one of the girls who I was becoming close to.

And she was saying like, I actually have been like having a really hard time that I and I wasn't going to I wasn't expecting myself to feel this way on this retreat, but I think it's because before this trip, I would wake up at

this time, I would have my green smoothie, I would do this, I would do that. I'd have this routine. So like

that. I'd have this routine. So like

having my routine all shaken up has kind of affected me in the ways that I feel about myself and I'm feeling a bit more insecure, I'm feeling a bit more in my head and it's frustrating me. One of the

things that I told her that I had learned was sometimes when we have been feeling really out of control of our lives, maybe it's just

that season in our life when a bunch of uncertainties have happened, things are kind of falling out of control, let's just say. You are not able to control a

just say. You are not able to control a lot of things that are happening to you.

It's natural to start to feel a little bit out of control with your life. And

so, what can happen is we latch on to what we do have control over. And for

the most part, those are our routines.

So, when you are placed into a situation when our routines are out the window, and you already were experiencing a lot of uncertainty in your life, no wonder you're like craving for that again

because your nervous system is dysregulated. And I want to just like

dysregulated. And I want to just like pause for a moment to have you reflect on a time when you might have been going through these cycles in your life of

trying to find this perfect routine. And

you might have followed a lot of YouTubers that talked about it, and also might have emanated that type of energy.

And I think deep down you know, like, but something isn't working here with this way that I'm approaching routine.

It feels good when I can check everything off, but it is almost debilitating and makes me feel even worse about myself when I might mess

something up that day. One day when I had gone through years and years of that cycle, years of trying to find the perfect routine, would stay up a little bit too late making it look all pretty

in my notes app, and checking it off on what happened in the morning, when I would do something in the afternoon, or my evening routine, or my workout routine. Something clicked in me. I

routine. Something clicked in me. I

threw routine out the window. Like, I

just had zero routine. And that also didn't feel good because I felt a little bit out of control. And here is the balance that I was starting to realize.

Why do we crave routine? Like I was saying, some of us crave routine because we feel a lack of control. But what is it about routine that makes us feel in control? And it's that sense of

control? And it's that sense of familiarity. It's that sense of knowing

familiarity. It's that sense of knowing what to expect. And the reason why it feels good is because your nervous system can finally relax. It can drop some of that into the parasympathetic

nervous system, which is the calming nervous system, because it doesn't need to worry about what comes next and how to prepare for what comes next cuz you

know what it is. That is the beauty of routines. That is the actual purpose of

routines. That is the actual purpose of it. The thing about that is when you go

it. The thing about that is when you go for the approach of I am doing this to regulate my nervous system, then you no

longer attached to how it looks, but more about what those activities are making me feel like. When you approach it that way, you'll notice that you're

kind of in this in-between of being that very put-together, organized routine list maker, and also at the same time,

you might be going with the flow.

Especially if you are somebody with a uterus and your hormones change on a daily basis.

You might need to sleep in a day. You

might not be able to make it to your 6:00 or 7:00 a.m. workout. You might

also have a completely different chronotype in the sense that you actually function better in the evening or you have better time getting yourself in the mood for workouts that might be

in the mid-afternoon than right in the morning or right at night. I think the first thing I'm going to tell you right away is because of that, we really

cannot follow another person's routine.

And also, I can almost guarantee you that that person that you follow on YouTube that is creating like the that girl routine or the ultimate morning

routine, ultimate evening routine, they are going to change that in maybe 6 months or a year because just following a routine so specifically to the point

where you can't even budge from it is kind of losing the sense of that routine in the first place. Because now you're not even allowing yourself to relax.

You're not even allowing yourself to reap the benefits of what that routine was put in there in the first place. You

know what's also just as common as wanting to latch to something out of a sense of like you feel out of control is your desire to rebel when something

becomes too rigid. Your desire to sabotage the situation when you feel like you're doing it out of duty, even if you've put it on yourself. And that's

why sometimes our routines don't stick and they don't work. What my routine used to look like when I was 22, 23,

that's when it was like super peak like I need my routines to be perfect or I can't function era. And that was because I had graduated from university. It was

my first year of post-grad and was feeling a lot of uncertainty. Was going

through a lot. Friendship breakups

because I moved away from a lot of my friends and we just like kind of fell apart. I was living like an hour and a

apart. I was living like an hour and a half away from my boyfriend. I was

navigating a change in career path. I

felt so out of control. And that right there it was what gave me the experience and perspective to notice in this girl a year ago being like, "Girl, I've been there. And this is okay that you feel

there. And this is okay that you feel this way. And I think it's almost

this way. And I think it's almost necessary for you to remember that you've had those experiences so you don't slip into it later in your life.

We need that experience. We need those learning lessons. What my routine looked

learning lessons. What my routine looked like at this stage in my life was, you know, like I'd wake up at a certain time. I'd have to wake up between this

time. I'd have to wake up between this buffer. I'd have I'd meditate. I would

buffer. I'd have I'd meditate. I would

have to journal for like 10 minutes.

I'd have to eat a certain breakfast between this time. I'd have to follow a certain workout routine to a T. And

then, you know, I'd maybe have to be like, "I have to go get my sunlight." Or

I have to have lemon water. And I have to do this. And I have to do that. And I

was also super over consuming lifestyle content.

People were sharing their routines and what they found is the best practices within the wellness world for them to do.

And so, it ranged from, "Okay, I need to have my coffee at this time. Oh, just

kidding. I need to have it an hour or two after waking up. Oh, just kidding.

It needs to be 30 minutes after waking up." And so, I felt pulled in these

up." And so, I felt pulled in these directions, super confused. My routines

never stuck because I was also reaching All of this was out of perfectionism, from a lack of control. Now, how do I approach routines? Routines are a way

approach routines? Routines are a way for me to regulate my nervous system. In

order for me to know what the routine is going to look like, I need to understand where my nervous system is at. And how

can that look like right now? Right now,

as I'm preparing for a trip, it means when I get really overwhelmed mid-work day, because I feel like I am not doing as much as I would like to do, I'll

notice this like resistance within me.

And I'll be like, "Okay, I need to stop what I'm doing. And and need to go for a little walk." 10 minutes of fresh air,

little walk." 10 minutes of fresh air, 15 minutes, either listen to music that will make me feel good, or I'll listen to the birds, or I'll feel like I'll throw on a book, or I'll listen to a

podcast. I listen to what my body wants.

podcast. I listen to what my body wants.

And I listen to what I want. I'm not

going to make reading a book, music time, walk time on a specific schedule, because it takes away from the fun of life. I don't want your routines to

life. I don't want your routines to start to take away from improvisation, spontaneity, playfulness. You can blend

spontaneity, playfulness. You can blend that into your life, as well. You can

have routines and rituals in your life, allow for flexibility. What could my routine also look like right now?

Um it's the time of the month for me, so it means that I actually need way more hours of sleep. Am I going to sleep in to noon? No. But I'm going to let myself

to noon? No. But I'm going to let myself get maybe an extra hour of sleep, so that I'm able to not feel so exhausted throughout my day, because I am on that

time of the month.

And naturally, our energies are lower. I

think that in general, you need to give yourself that flexibility, because if flexibility is not there, then your routine is no longer doing its job for you. But

you. But I know what you guys want. You want a little bit more about what I like to do for some of my mornings and for some of my workouts and my evenings. So there's

a bit of non-negotiables that I do have.

I just really wanted to talk about my experience with routines first and why I do them. So, the first and foremost

do them. So, the first and foremost thing you have to do is listen to your body. What that will tell you is the

body. What that will tell you is the habit within that routine or ritual might look a little different with what your body wants. So let me talk about

some of my morning ritual routines. My

non-negotiables, the two things that I go for is mindfulness and joy. And that

might look different depending on how I feel. For mindfulness, I usually lean

feel. For mindfulness, I usually lean towards a meditation. If I feel like I can't really get in the mood for a meditation, then I'll spend a few

moments in silence. I'll sit outside.

I'll just have a sense of mindfulness moment in the way that works with me.

Sometimes my meditations can be 5 minutes, other times they can be 30.

Sometimes they're self-guided, sometimes it's just with music, sometimes they're sitting in silence. Why is this all over the place? Once again, because my energy

the place? Once again, because my energy levels can be different, my anxiety levels can be different, how my nervous system feels that day, my

readiness levels, how my sleep was, my hormone levels, all of that changes the way that I show up for that. But it is a non-negotiable to practice mindfulness

in the morning because I know that when I practice mindfulness, that sense of awareness and tendency to jump towards observation over judgment

is more likely to happen when I have moments of mindfulness in the morning.

And also, I have always gravitated towards doing it in the mornings because that is when I can have me time. My

boyfriend doesn't wake up till a little bit later, and he is a huge night owl.

So, I usually have no evenings to myself. And so, my mornings are the time

myself. And so, my mornings are the time when I can be with myself. Also, with my family, they are I mean, my dad wakes up early, but for the most part, my mom's a

night owl, my sister's a night owl.

They're going to be up later. It's

louder in the evening, and so I don't really have the the the opportunity. Another way that I like to practice mindfulness, I'm really, really, really trying to get

into this so that I have a real I have a hard time with it. And it's journaling.

I don't know what it is.

Actually, I do know what it is. It's

hard for me to stay still, and journaling does not come naturally to me, so it takes some time. I don't always find

that I have the time before work day or I make the time before work day for me to journal the way that I would like to.

I want to do like the morning pages.

That can take me upwards towards like 30 to 45 minutes in the morning. I don't

know I don't know if it takes you less time or whatever, but it takes me that much time.

And I sometimes find myself not having the opportunities to be able to do that before I have to get into work. So, I I am navigating that. I know that a lot of those I put on myself. Like, I could

just show up. I could do it in a different way. I could have lower

different way. I could have lower stakes. I have to try and get in a

stakes. I have to try and get in a better mindset about journaling in general. So, that's something I'm

general. So, that's something I'm working on, okay? But, there are sometimes once a week that I will have this desire to sit down and journal and

do the morning pages. So, that is another type of mindfulness to have myself become even more aware with my inner voice and kind of unlock some more

creativity and have a sense of catharsis of things that have been on my mind. So,

journaling is also really great for that. The other thing that I have that's

that. The other thing that I have that's a non-negotiable in my morning is joy.

One thing that gives me so much joy is my coffee ritual. I love coffee. I have

a traditional espresso machine. I grind

up the coffee beans in the morning, froth my milk, sometimes I put a slice of like 95% chocolate in my coffee mug.

I even have a little mug that I've made in a pottery class. I'll like put on powdered cocoa powder on top or cinnamon. And all of that gives me like

cinnamon. And all of that gives me like a really great sense of joy. I I kind of have this joke of the fact that it's the reason why I get up in the morning is my cup of coffee. It's not going for that

like caffeine boost. I love the taste of espresso. I also find that it's a really

espresso. I also find that it's a really special ritual for me. Like it gives the the process of it gives me joy. When I

got the espresso machine, I thought that I would find the whole act pretty tedious because it takes some time. Like

you have to make sure that the espresso, whatever that thing is, device is cleaned, ready. You need to make sure

cleaned, ready. You need to make sure that your coffee beans are grinded up properly, making sure it's spaced out right. You need the water level to be

right. You need the water level to be right. Frothing the milk can take some

right. Frothing the milk can take some time and some sort of craft. I haven't

yet gone to like making cappuccino art or latte art, but I'd like to reach that point. I think that would be kind of

point. I think that would be kind of fun. Anyhow, I thought it would be

fun. Anyhow, I thought it would be tedious, but I found that it was something that was kind of a crossover between joy and mindfulness of just

doing that every morning. And I And I enjoy it. So, that's something that

enjoy it. So, that's something that gives me joy. Another thing that gives me joy that I think some people would have Some people that are like hardcore routine that girl productive routines

would find this not so great is sometimes I put on like a little bit of a TV show before I get into my work when I have my breakfast and my coffee in the morning. I'll play feel-good things.

morning. I'll play feel-good things.

Like for the longest time I would watch Heartland in the morning. I've been

watching Bridgerton. And I'm not watching an entire show. This might be like 10 minutes of a show, 15 minutes.

That's why Sometimes it can take me an entire week to get through like one TV episode, but I find it nice to

start the day doing something that gives me joy. I also was like binging the

me joy. I also was like binging the Fourth Wing series throughout the winter winter and I would read a little bit of that book in the morning before my work

day. I used to think, oh, I need to read

day. I used to think, oh, I need to read a little bit of a personal development book or I need to read a little bit of a spirituality book for me to feel like

I'm doing something good for myself before getting into work. But naturally

with my work, I am not just tuning into my sense of creativity but about the personal development world I'm writing about all day. And so I found myself

realizing that if I dive right into personal development, it kind of feels like work for me.

It feels like I'm going into work. And

then I'll catch myself at the end of the day realizing I had not done anything

all day that was just about fun and play unrelated to a way of monetizing it for myself. So, that's why watching a little

myself. So, that's why watching a little bit of a TV show or reading a little bit of a fiction book in the morning is actually so important for me. And in

fact, by doing so replenishes this creative energy within me so that I can show up even more creative for the rest of the day. And I I don't know,

like I encourage you to think about ways of bringing more joy into your life.

Like we are being a little bit too serious now. I think it's a byproduct of

serious now. I think it's a byproduct of social media and hustle culture, capitalism, a lot of our western

culture. And as a result, we kind of see

culture. And as a result, we kind of see these little acts of joy and play as very frivolous. And we forget that it is

very frivolous. And we forget that it is what fuels our creative energy. It is

what makes our mood higher to be even more productive at work, to be happier.

It also allows us to stay within this momentum to continue and keep going. You

need a little bit of of that flexibility and balance. I think regardless, I've

and balance. I think regardless, I've let go of these metrics behind my routine and what it needs to look like in that sense. I go for how it should

make me feel. Afterwards,

I feel consistent. And I want you to think about this. If you were somebody that is still unconvinced about a a more flexible way of approaching routines, I

want you to reflect on how you feel after your routine. Do you feel good consistently after your routine every day? And if you do, great. You might

day? And if you do, great. You might

have this like perfect routine that just works for you. And you just know yourself so well that you've created that. But I can almost promise you that

that. But I can almost promise you that most of you don't. Maybe you feel good a little bit in the beginning. Maybe you

feel amazing if you can click it all off, and then maybe a week or two will go by, and the fun of it, or the pride behind doing well with it, just goes

away. And you'll realize that the reason

away. And you'll realize that the reason why it's not sticking is because there isn't a lot of intrinsic reasons for it.

It's coming from a sense of external pressures for why you're doing these routines, cuz you want to look put together, cuz you want to say that you've done these things productive in the morning, because you want to say

that you're working on your brain and your spirituality and mindfulness in a way that's by the book. That is where we lost the plot, because it's not going to

benefit you as much until you listen to what your body and your mind is telling you. If you don't feel regulated after

you. If you don't feel regulated after you perform a certain routine, what are you even doing it for? Routines are

supposed to regulate our nervous system to feel good after so that you can carry on with your day because you know the rest of your day will be full of uncertainties. But if your routine is so

uncertainties. But if your routine is so that it looks good on paper, but it doesn't actually make you feel regulated, that's when you go on that trip, you're going to feel unbalanced.

That's why when you don't follow it to a T, you're not going to feel good about yourself because it's not for the right reasons. More of my routines, what do I

reasons. More of my routines, what do I do after work? One of the things that I absolutely do after work is something that grounds me. My mornings are for

like opening up, feeling connected, centered, and then after work, it is more for turning back inward, grounding, connecting with what matters. So, one of

the things that I love to do is go for walks, be out in nature, reconnect with something that puts things into perspective because after a work day,

it's very natural to get sucked in too deeply to your work, to that industry, to your life, and things feel a lot bigger than they really need to be. And

what always puts things into perspective for me and feel small, but in a good way, is going out in nature because I realize, "Oh my gosh, like this is what life's about. This is not really

life's about. This is not really all those little things that I was stressing about doesn't matter to this like extreme-ness that I'm doing to

myself here." So, nature super grounding

myself here." So, nature super grounding for me, specifically nature walks, being in nature where I don't see a lot of man-made things. That helps me out a

man-made things. That helps me out a lot. Another thing that I do like to

lot. Another thing that I do like to have within my evenings is I usually spend a lot of that time with my boyfriend. Like we that's our time to be

boyfriend. Like we that's our time to be with one another because even our weekends are kind of all over the place and we don't always have the opportunity to spend time with one another. Um Um

so, sometimes, like I'd say more than not, the weeknights are when we can have like a date's time together. Our weekends are way more for

together. Our weekends are way more for family and friends because there's usually always an event happening, or we create the event for ourselves.

Sometimes I will also feel called to have like an evening workout. We have

like the amazing ability to have our own gym here in this condo building. There's

also a steam sauna that I love to do when I need extra grounding. Like

sometimes when I notice, "Oh my gosh, that was kind of a stressful day." The

best thing that I like to do is I go for a nature walk, and then I'll come back, have a really nice dinner, and then I might do some stretching, some yoga, and then I'll do a steam sauna. And like

I'll just feel renewed after. Sometimes

though, I have a lot of energy, especially when I am in my follicular and ovulation phase, and so I might go

for a run. I might do an intense workout routine downstairs. I personally,

routine downstairs. I personally, um just with my schedule, morning workouts just don't work for me. I have

too many people texting me about things that need to get done. I'm not an early morning riser, and so my mornings are not really for intense energetic things.

Workouts happen afternoon, early evening for me. So, occasionally I'll find

for me. So, occasionally I'll find myself pulled to want to get a little bit more energy out and do a workout routine. I will say something about my

routine. I will say something about my workout routines. I go by the quarters,

workout routines. I go by the quarters, and I will change my workout routine quarterly. Especially in the wintertime,

quarterly. Especially in the wintertime, that is when you're eating heavier foods, more comfort foods, it's darker out. So, naturally I'll feel more pulled

out. So, naturally I'll feel more pulled to lifting heavier, doing less cardio.

I'm building the strength there because our foods in general it really gives bulking season. Cardio doesn't really

bulking season. Cardio doesn't really fit as easily into into there, although I do try and do that for my my heart health, of course. When it is the spring

summer seasons, I will lighten the weights, do a little bit more cardio. I

also will alternate on a quarterly basis of the exercises that are working for my body and not. Something one of my she's a personal trainer. She's been doing this for a very long time. She's my

parents age. I go to some of her workouts. My dad and mom have been doing

workouts. My dad and mom have been doing her workouts for well over 20 years. And

something that she was saying is we are born genetically with maybe some muscles and tendons within our bodies that are

more developed than others. And because

of that and and not just to mention how long your limbs are and how your body is formed, some workouts and exercises will benefit you more than

others and vice versa. So, when I am trying to develop like a workout split, I'll tweak it almost every quarter to know how my body is reacting to it. And

sometimes I will notice like I experienced when I had this really bad back injury a year and a half ago, one of the things that I realized I needed to do more of was more stretching, more

Pilates work, more core, um yoga especially. That was the thing. Yoga,

especially. That was the thing. Yoga,

yoga, yoga. And I was doing too many exercises that were for the big muscles and I was neglecting the smaller muscles. And now that I have a better

muscles. And now that I have a better balance, I feel way healthier and if not stronger than before because I started doing that. And that's why I like to do

doing that. And that's why I like to do the quarterly workouts because it gives me 3 months to just focus on something and not have to think about too much on a weekly daily basis. You're able to

have a good amount of time to reflect on how things are working with you. And

especially if you want to work with the seasons, then you can change your workout routines to align with this new energy that you're trying to embody.

Right? Like so in the wintertime, we talk a lot about how it's a time of hibernation, a time of turning inward, of getting away from this like fast,

productive, intense life because that is what we experienced the whole rest of the year.

And leaning into the darkness that's around you, leaning into the heavier foods. I used to be so hard on myself

foods. I used to be so hard on myself with how my body looked in the winter.

And I know I'm not alone when it with it. And

it. And it was a thing that we almost resisted so strongly and wanted to be the better person to be like more disciplined and ripped in the wintertime, not just the

summertime. And all that is BS. Like you

summertime. And all that is BS. Like you

think about on a nature basis, there's a reason why we're craving warmer, heavier foods. It's because of how cold it is

foods. It's because of how cold it is outside. And so it can be a beautiful

outside. And so it can be a beautiful time to be able to strengthen your muscles so that come the following seasons, you have that strength to be

more athletic and do all those things that might be easier to access in the summertime cuz I know that winter sports can be quite expensive and inaccessible

for a lot of people. Fall, I usually spend that time like slowing down my workout routines. Has a little bit more

workout routines. Has a little bit more cardio, faster pace things. In the

spring, I'm it's a similar season to autumn when I am like leaning into a faster workout routine, but I'm not going to overdo it because that'll shock my body. Summer is the time when it's

my body. Summer is the time when it's like super fast and I'm doing a lot of cardio naturally because I'm swimming, I'm running, I'm biking, I'm outside

playing so many sports, and I'm still doing, of course, strength training.

But, there is a season for everything, even our workouts. And then, the last thing that I wanted to share is some occasional things that I like to do in my life. Some things that I like to do

my life. Some things that I like to do is I do like to travel, and I do like to go on a vacation. And I know myself, and

because of how I am self-employed, and my work needs to continue working while I'm away, I like to not go on vacation

too many times throughout the year, but I do when I do it once, it's a big one.

I prefer that because that is better for the way that I operate and how it makes me feel. So, I'm going to be going on a

me feel. So, I'm going to be going on a trip for almost a month, and because of that, I'm going to be having a bit of a time away from active work, but it will

allow me to replenish some creative energy with some things that I really, really want to jump into for the summertime. Other things that I have

summertime. Other things that I have been very much leading towards, cuz like a huge part of my job is with social media, I try and stay off of social

media on the weekends and reconnect more with what matters. It can be really uncomfortable to be off your phone when it you're so used to that stimulation,

but when you have 2 days to reset your nervous system in that way, it really helps you throughout the rest of the week when you are dealing with difficult

things at work, when you do want to sit down for a meditation, when you do want to step away from the work, or or when you want to lock in on something and not

feel distracted. Having times where you

feel distracted. Having times where you are like disconnecting from stimulation, specifically technology, getting your

hands a little dirty gardening or going for a longer nature walk, going camping, spending time with friends, family, not bringing your computer, just being present with them. It's a really, really

great reset. And that's another thing

great reset. And that's another thing that I like to do. Family is so important to me. So, I do try and see my family as much as I can, specifically my grandparents because I know that I'm not

going to have as much time with them as I would like. And there's the chance that they might not last another year or two or three. So, I want to make sure that I'm not regretting those

opportunities that I can just spend like an afternoon with them. I think maybe what you could also think about is like your values in life. What are they? And

how often are you prioritizing that?

Because it can be the reason why you feel angry, resistant, anxious, sad, disconnected. Maybe because your values

disconnected. Maybe because your values are not being valued. They're not even being acknowledged. And how can you do

being acknowledged. And how can you do that on the weekends? How can you spend more time on the weekends or on the times when you have opportunities to

focus on them? Because more than not, doing what you value also will reset your nervous system. And it will allow you to continue with your day. So, yeah.

I feel like I've rambled a little bit a lot on routines. I'm just going to summarize a few things about this episode so that you kind of have it just get it right here in the CliffNotes. One

of the things is if you are feeling drawn to being super strict with your routines, I want you to think about what is happening in your life that is making

you feel out of control for you to do that. Right there will let you know a

that. Right there will let you know a little bit more about your tendency to want to latch towards these routines.

The second thing I want you to think about what is your nervous system need because we're not going to be able to control a lot of if any of these uncertainties. We're not going to be

uncertainties. We're not going to be able to control anything that is outside of our control making you want to latch to these routines, but we know how to respond to them better.

And it's not by making a really strict routine list and you know, if you don't follow it to a T then things are even worse than they they began. Think about what your

they began. Think about what your nervous system needs and give yourself permission for it to look a little bit differently than any other routine out there. If that includes watching 10

there. If that includes watching 10 minutes of a show in the morning, working later so that you can have a longer morning to yourself. On the

weekends, what can that look like for you? And if you are a bit confused of

you? And if you are a bit confused of what can regulate your nervous system, two things that I always lean towards is what is going to make me feel grounded.

So that can lean towards mindfulness practices meditation journaling going out in nature, things that make you drop into your body. That can also be playing

an instrument, singing. And the second thing is what is going to evoke a sense of playfulness and joy. So that can look very differently from people. That can

also cross over towards some mindfulness practices like making your coffee in the morning, like playing an instrument. So

whatever that may look to you, I think that that is a better way to make you navigate this uncertainty because you're going to make sure that you're doing things for you. Your inner child is going to be happier. You're going to feel more replenished there and you're

going to be able to tackle these uncertainties throughout your day with a lot more grace. And lastly, I want you to not jump back into this sense of rigidity again by choosing these things

that will make your nervous system feel regulated and saying that they need to look a certain way. So if it is a sense of mindfulness and you're going to decide on meditation, that meditation can look differently. It can be 5

minutes, it can be 10 minutes, it can be 30 minutes, it can be self-guided, it can be not self-guided, and all of that is okay because we're not going for what it looks like. Once again, we're going

with how it makes you feel. Have that

flexibility. Make sure it connects with what the purpose of routine is in the first place. It's familiarity and

first place. It's familiarity and regulating your nervous system. That's

all it is.

That's really the point of routines. The

point of routines is to make you feel more grounded in your life because everything else is a free-for-all. I

think I I'm yapped on this enough. If

you are this pull towards seasonal living, I know some of you are feeling this pull towards seasonal living. I

talk about it a lot. And if you resonated with a few things within this, where you noticed you have these perfectionist traits and you and you go

to the rigidity type of routine list, then maybe living seasonally is what you need. And I have an entire guide out, a

need. And I have an entire guide out, a workbook. It's divided into four

workbook. It's divided into four different parts aligning with the fiscal quarters and seasons so that you're able to have a new fresh approach to every single quarter in a way that allows for

flexibility, but also structure at the same time. So, it's the best of both

same time. So, it's the best of both worlds. It's essentially trying to have

worlds. It's essentially trying to have you find your sense of inner balance.

One of the things that I as I'm working on being a uh a health coach myself is protecting one's autonomy. I'm not going to tell you I'm sorry, I'm not going to tell you what it needs to look like in

your life. You know what it needs to

your life. You know what it needs to look like. And this workbook allows you

look like. And this workbook allows you to to explore what it will look like for you so that it's sustainable, so that it sticks, and so that it feels good to you, and it's you-coded. Thank you so

much for listening. I also have a weekly newsletter that goes out every single Sunday connecting to the topics of the episode alongside giving you some more tips. So, if you feel like, I want a

tips. So, if you feel like, I want a little bit more of a free taste of of what I offer, it's completely free to sign up. It goes into your inbox every

sign up. It goes into your inbox every single Sunday. It'll give you some some

single Sunday. It'll give you some some prompts and exercises so that anything that I share in this episode, you can try and do things for yourself to align it more in your life. So,

thank you so much for listening. I hope

that you enjoyed this episode. If you

did, share it with a friend. Make sure

to download it, save it, and yeah, I'll see you next week. Bye.