When a meme prescribed self-care

discussion keeps the world turning.

>> This is Roundtable.

[music] You're listening to Round Table. I'm

Steve Hatherly. Today with Yusan and Fei. Coming up, forget lifestyle gurus.

Fei. Coming up, forget lifestyle gurus.

In late 2025, the most resonant piece of self-care advice in China came from an internet meme. A linguistically clever

internet meme. A linguistically clever phrase born online became a cultural phenomenon by repackaging a universal truth self-love into something that felt

intimate, sharable, and distinctly modern. We'll discuss. Our podcast

modern. We'll discuss. Our podcast

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well. So send your thoughts our way to Roundtable Podcast at qq.com.

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[music] And now, imagine an online phrase so intimate and cleverly playful that it becomes a national shortorthhand for a

generation's new priority. In late 2025, a heartwarming meme swept across the country here in China, swept across social media, capturing a profound yet simple message, the radical act of

loving oneself. More than a direct

loving oneself. More than a direct translation, it carries a bit of a twist, a blend of humor, vulnerability, and creative word play that turned a personal reminder into a shared cultural

rallying cry for young people. We're

going to talk about the story behind this viral sensation, why it resonated, what it says about modern pressures, and how a few simple characters can reframe

a fundamental act of care. So, let's

start with the phrase itself. What is it in Chinese and how does it translate exactly?

>> Well, the phrase is actually called Well, it takes me some time to fully understand what this phrase stands for.

So, basically translated into English means love yourself.

>> Yeah. I that's I love you, right?

>> Yes. Yeah. But is the tricky part. Um so

comes from this phrase called meaning oneself myself or yourself and la is is you know the word that we will add a ton

of familiarity like a dressing node friend for example's surname is Leo I can call her lao >> excuse me >> sorry [laughter] um la meaning old but

la old leo >> I was wondering what drew that reaction I feel like I'm 50 years old yeah But that's the way I think when you reach a certain level of um friendship, new

friendship is the way to address one another, especially I think your dad would be called Laio multiple times before. Um well, but now that people are

before. Um well, but now that people are combining these two words together, meaning they're addressing themselves in

a very friendly and old friend vibe.

>> Yeah. It's like the word you use or add before a formal addressing to lessen the formal tone of that addressing.

>> It can be following like llama as in mom instead of mother or like the I was teasing you earlier f like loo some of my buddies my friends they also call me

that. So it's just a a matter of tone.

that. So it's just a a matter of tone.

How a simple addition or of addressing changes the tone of how you address people. And when we're addressing

people. And when we're addressing ourselves instead of we call well young people nowadays call themselves in a way hey buddy I love you. Love you

buddy.

>> I get it right. It's almost like hello old friend >> but talking to yourself. Right.

>> All right. So what's the c cultural significance of this? I mean why did it take off do you think?

Wow. I think it's it has something to do with how young people perceive themselves nowadays. One very

themselves nowadays. One very interesting example that I saw when I was swiping my phone on social media last night would be um there's a post about how a girl sharing that my

boyfriend saved me the best looking piece of fried chicken that we ordered.

And then in the comments instead of people saying, "Oh, congratulations. Oh,

your your boyfriend is so thoughtful." A

lot of people just commented, "Hey Lousie, do you want fried chicken too? I

can order some for you." Now,

>> that's the spirit among nowadays, young people nowadays, we use this um tone of third person personification by referring to yourself as loud as if

it's in the first person angle. You kind

of create this mild psychological distance that help you reduce self criticism and just pour in that love that you would pour onto any of your friends into yourself.

>> Do you remember I was talk you were on the show that day and I was talking about the story about how when I went on vacation by myself the first time I didn't enjoy it because I didn't know

what to do with myself. I didn't know I didn't know anything. I felt kind of weird about it. Then the second time I went, um, I started each day by kind of

just saying to myself like, "Okay, buddy, what do you want to do today?"

Like treating myself as if I was another person. And I remember when I was

person. And I remember when I was explaining that, you looked at me like I had like three heads, [laughter] >> like what is wrong with you? And that's

the this exactly what we're talking about today is kind of the thing that I was trying to get across. like almost

looking at yourself from an outside body and then looking at that person you with love and care and attention

>> and sort of that I'm not sure I'm using the right word here justify a lot of actions that you would take to to care for yourself like ordering fried chicken

or book a very fancy restaurant or take a rest >> and I think that's also the reason that this phrase is basically took off. I

think one of the typical um phrase pair for would be paired with you tomorrow. So

the catchphrase is love you myself tomorrow which is kind of create this self-care gentle promise to yourself

that I would care myself in the future.

M >> but I think it sort of also translates to other things like if I want to have take a break, take a lazy break and not

feeling guilty about it. And this is the cure of that mentality that you're not lacking behind, you're not lacking off, you're just taking care of yourself.

>> Yeah, >> that doesn't answer the question in terms of why though.

>> And this is kind of what I want to talk about. We know we know what it is now

about. We know we know what it is now and it's it's really cool that it's taken the internet by storm. But why why do you think all of a sudden this real

focus on self-love, self-care, self-attention has suddenly has suddenly just become a thing?

Well, I think first of all um when it comes to a lot of um problems that we have in life um I think one of the concept is you are the root of it. Not

saying you are the problem or you're the cause of it, but saying that how you look at different things, the perspective is defined by you. That if

you can form this mentality of love yourself, treat yourself kindly, gently, and then when you run into very

difficult situations or hardships, I think it will help you to navigate through a lot of the hardships. Uh so

you don't end up blaming yourself when things go wrong.

>> Yes. I think and I think that happens to a lot of people that you think yeah maybe I'm the reason that person is not happy right now. Is that me

>> or um this this project is falling apart? Is that because of me?

apart? Is that because of me?

>> And I think with this mentality of I love yourself you're taking this blame away.

>> Yeah. And I think that can kind of manifest itself in many different ways.

That self-lame. For example, a lot of people if they text someone and then the person doesn't respond for a while, they think what? They think, "Did I do

think what? They think, "Did I do something wrong?

>> Did I say something wrong?"

>> Yeah. Right. They immediately climb inside their own brain and start blaming themselves for something that isn't even real. They're creating a story inside

real. They're creating a story inside their own brain to punish themselves for something that didn't happen. That's a

real problem, but it's so so so common.

And the way I see it is that the younger generation nowadays they and this is also something that my generation if not the previous generations are still

looking and navigating which is to stop seeking answers or validation or any kind of comments from the external side

but rather look inside see what I am feeling right now and why I'm feeling like this right now. So loi the whole

term here just amplifies on the term Z which is the self ultimately we are it's all about you we are the like you said f the root and also we are the operator of

ourselves so this is like how you pull out of your own decisions and cast an influence from inside to the outside instead of like me personally for

example like when I was younger I always rely on what I hear from other people as a way to judge myself or to adjust my actions or words and everything. So,

it's the opposite way. Now, that perhaps answers the why this is now.

>> That's a really good way to put it, right? Most people look externally for

right? Most people look externally for their validation >> when in fact your validation can come from inside yourself and it's probably

the most important place for validation to come from.

>> Yeah. Exactly. And I think it's not only a young people's thing. It also is happens across generations that especially you depend on comments from

other people to sort of to see whether I'm doing this correctly or I've reached to a level of success.

>> Mhm.

>> But not within. And I think another part of this phrase comes from accepting yourself.

>> Acceptance.

>> Yeah. Just accepting that I want. It can

be as small as I want a milk a glass of milk tea right now or as big as you know this is who I am.

>> Even though um I'm not saying that you shouldn't listen to other people's comments. I'm not saying just stick to

comments. I'm not saying just stick to yourself and and not listen to to other people. It's just accept sometimes I

people. It's just accept sometimes I have my advantages and my disadvantages and doesn't mean I need to correct all of my disadvantages. I cannot be perfect

and I accept I'm this is the person that I am and for for example in a relationship.

>> Um just don't blame yourself for not being able to do certain things.

>> There's lots of internet examples.

Worked overtime. These are posts. Worked

overtime till midnight. Cooked a hot bowl of noodles for myself.

>> Teach me how to say that one more time.

Li >> Uh, here's another one. Felt Oh, you just said milk tea. Felt like having some milk tea. So, Laoi bought me a cup.

Love you myself.

>> Here's the last one. Uh, today I I let Laoi take a lazy break with no guilt at all. [snorts] Yeah. Um, when So,

all. [snorts] Yeah. Um, when So, obviously I'm an expat in China and I was an expat in Korea for a long time and then I'm from Canada. So I have all these different observations about my

own cultures and then the cultures of other um countries that I've lived in and people always want to know what's different right people asking me now you know what's different in China living in Beijing what was different in Seoul when

I lived in Korea what's different from Canada you know what the answer is nothing >> people live with and this is big city examples

you know and obviously I can only see the surface or at least culture to a certain extent when you're when you're an expat. Um but still based on my

an expat. Um but still based on my observations, people have the same stresses. You know, everybody wakes up

stresses. You know, everybody wakes up in the morning and goes to work or goes to school and they want to do well with their jobs and their lives and their personal friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, all

feel the same pressure. All put the same pressure on themselves to perform well.

And when they don't perform well, they blame themselves. They try to find

blame themselves. They try to find happiness in the big city where they can when they can because everybody's always busy. It's the same. That's why I always

busy. It's the same. That's why I always keep saying to people, the world's a lot more similar than you think it is.

[laughter] It really doesn't change that much when you go from big city to big city. And again, you know, I'm talking

city. And again, you know, I'm talking surface level cultural experiences here, but still that's been my observation.

>> Yeah, exactly. Especially when you're considering you know when people gather together as one community a lot of you will have relationship problems for example that's universal you know the

difficulties that you run with your partners and that's universal and when it comes to working place for example the problems can also be universal you

know there will be some misunderstanding among co-workers and that leads to problems in communication regardless of what cultures you are based on that's

just um and I think by this spirit coming from love yourself you are accepting it you are putting yourself on top of a lot of considerations is

helping to address of a lot of the difficulty that you run in relationship and in in work life.

>> Yeah. And even if when there are such challenges happening it's okay at the end of the day we're just human beings and it's okay. We love ourselves and we are going to deal with it.

>> Yeah. But we always say that, don't we?

Like why is it so easy to say but so hard to implement?

>> Well, I think first of all it's just very difficult to put other people's comment aside. Even though for example

comment aside. Even though for example in a lot of um scenarios you're saying that I'm acce accepting myself as it is. If somebody

comes out now and says, you know, you just sound really awful, >> that will [clears throat] stick for a long time, no matter how hard you try to just take it away.

>> And I think that's one of the core reasons why the spirit of love yourself is difficult to, you know, executed throughout generations.

One thing that I've been trying to do lately, you're right, Steve, that it's so hard than done, but the biggest lesson that I found is that you keep on

practicing it and then as time goes by, it's going to be yours. For example, for example, if someone says to me that, uh,

Yusan, you're so selfish. That sounds

harsh. A year ago, two years ago, I'll be like, I don't deserve that. Why? How?

Why am I selfish? But today I I've been trained to think from the other side of that comment or or whatever comment that you are given especially when it's negative. Somebody else call you

negative. Somebody else call you selfish. It's because that person that

selfish. It's because that person that individual didn't get gain any advantage from you. So he or she may have this

from you. So he or she may have this comment on you but that doesn't mean that you have made any mistake or you have done anything wrong. It's just them not gaining upon the things they want

from you. things they want from you.

from you. things they want from you.

Exactly. So that's something that you need to train yourself to think back when you are just trying to find a solution or result for whatever comment you receive.

>> That's funny. When somebody says to you, "You're being selfish." What that means is, "Hey, you're not thinking about me."

>> Mhm.

>> Which is, >> why would I think about Yeah.

>> Well, but that's selfish to say that.

>> What's wrong with being selfish for them to say that?

>> Exactly. That's where I think the where I think cultures overlap because in Canada and America and Western culture in general, we're taught to take care of

others first. Um, it looks different on

others first. Um, it looks different on paper sometimes. You know, the like the

paper sometimes. You know, the like the the familial hierarchy and and the responsibility of taking care of your parents when they get older in Asia and Korea and China looks looks different than it does in the West. It looks

different, but yet at the same time, the concept of taking care of someone else before you take care of yourself is still a part of Western culture, too.

And I think that's why it's so hard to implement self-love is because we're brought up, we're raised from when we're children,

do something for someone else before you take care of yourself. During holiday

giftgiving time in the west, there's psychology that says giving is better for you than receiving. So again, that it's ingrained into our culture and into

our brains. If you do something only for

our brains. If you do something only for you, that's bad. That's wrong. And I

think that's why it's so hard to put these practices into our daily lives is because we've been trained since we were babies that it's not right to take care of yourself first.

>> Yeah. And I think I I start to think of this sketch from France is that Phoebe, the character Phoebe argued >> um that it can be a selfless good deed

in the world. And another character Joey said, "No, Phoebe, because the reason for you to, you know, do a good deed is for you to feel good." So it's still a

selfish reason for you to do that. And

they sort of start this this argument about >> a philosophical debate.

>> Yes. So, and this feels like a black hole, isn't it?

>> Yeah, exactly. Is and therefore is anything not selfish. I don't know.

Yeah, we could talk about this all day.

But we can't because we're out of time.

Uh that will do it for today's round table. Thank you very much for being

table. Thank you very much for being with us today. Thanks to Yan and Fay to you. Thank you for sharing your time

you. Thank you for sharing your time with us. Happy New Year to you. And I

with us. Happy New Year to you. And I

hope you give yourself a little bit of self-love today and join us again next time.