You’ll Regret Playing It Safe in Your 20’s & 30’s

what advice would you give to people that are in their 30s are entering their 30s about how to operate in life I think it's really situational I don't think there's a user's manual I think

there's some best practices and I don't think it's that much different than in your 20s um the first is very Primal I think every person in their 20s and 30s should lift heavy weights and run long

distances in their brain and in the gym push yourself really hard when you're in your 20s and 30s you don't even realize how old are you 34. okay so like you

look like a beast in in 20 years you're just going to look back on how strong you were and just marvel at it and you're going to wish as strong as you were that you even push yourself harder I rode crew it was such a valuable part

of my life I did at the age of 19. and I

remember in the midst of a race it's a 2 000 meter race and I remember not being able to feel my legs starting to black out and having to concentrate on not blacking out from

exhaustion my and the the oxygen or the air going down my esophagus was on fire tastes like blood and metal in your throat yeah and that was at 800 meters

and you'd go 2 000. and that ability just when you think just when you think you can't take any more that means you're about a third of the

way to your limits as as a as a human as a species learning that as a young man or woman is a blessing because what it means is you have the confidence that

when when things are hard physically emotionally mentally you realize oh my God I could take so much more and still be fine and when I worked my first job

was a Morton Stanley Investment Bank and I was undereducated relative to my peer group not because I didn't go to a great school I went to UCLA but I spent the majority of my five years there making bongs out of household items and

watching Planet of the Apes so I wasn't as skilled as my peer group so I decided every Tuesday morning I was going to come into work and I wasn't going to leave till Wednesday night and I'm like I can do that I'm

physically really strong I'm mentally really strong and it sent a signal to the rest of the organization that I came to play develop that kind of grit and strength emotionally physically and

intellectually in your 20s and 30s you're capable of it you're just going to look back on that errand like just marvel it out out of [ __ ] control strong you are both mentally and physically

2. get to a city if you can and that

2. get to a city if you can and that sounds very practical or wrote but you'd rather be good in a big city than great in a small City before you collect dogs and kids you know being in a city is like playing

tennis with Roger Federer or Nadal when you play with people much better than you your game gets much better you're playing against the best when you're in a city uh

find create as many opportunities to find a mate now what do I mean by that get out as often as possible accept invitations force yourself to go out

force yourself to meet strangers develop the skills uh start whenever you're waiting in line at Starbucks talk to the person in front of you talk to the person behind you

develop the skills to begin opening and establishing relationships and it's uncomfortable and it means getting used to rejection and by the way the only thing I can guarantee you in life

is rejection and the only thing I guarantee a lot of if you want to be successful is a [ __ ] ton of rejection being an entrepreneur just means you're willing to take out a big spoon and eat

[ __ ] all the time talking people into working for you talking clients into to to to engaging you talking investors into investing and having 90 plus percent of them saying no and the same

is true with successful mating the most important decision you'll make in your 20s and 30s is where you live where you work what industry you're going to it's who you decide to partner with specifically who you decide to

ultimately have kids with and I have close friends who are monstrously successful by every external metric and they don't have great lives because they don't have real Partners in their

spouses and I have other friends who struggle economically and it's hard but everything's a little easier for them because they have a real partner and the way you punch above your weight

class and find a great mate uh you know emotionally intellectually from a value standpoint sexually is you give yourself as many opportunities as possible and my

story is I met uh my partner who I had kids with at the Raleigh Hotel at the pool at the Raleigh Hotel in South Beach about 17 years ago it was the middle of the day and I walked in and I think it's

important to do this I walked in and I saw someone I was really attracted to and I said I'm going to talk to this person before I leave and I promise myself and I went up

in the full light of midday sun when she was sitting with another guy and another girl and opened and without the aid of alcohol that is not easy that is not

easy and fast forward my oldest son's middle name is Raleigh if you nothing wonderful is going to happen to you unless you take an uncomfortable risk so

get good at taking them get good at sending blind emails to LinkedIn contacts to ask them for coffee to see if they'll talk to you about that industry

reach out to people tell them you admire them try and become friends with them you know you're you're an interesting guy I was just thinking to myself I'd love to know this guy does he live in London he just seems very cool get

comfortable taking those sorts of risks get comfortable with rejection nothing wonderful will happen to you unless you take an uncomfortable risk the most important thing you can find in your life in your 20s and 30s is something

that you're good at so that you can start building a base around Economic Security but the the real key is to find a great partner and that is going to be a

function of liquidity how many great Partners potential great Partners you approach and unfortunately the far left of which I'm apart as tree

as as counseled men that if you start talking to a woman at work and you express any sort of Interest it means you're toxic no it doesn't if you don't know the difference between expressing interest and having coffee with someone

and harassing them you've got much bigger problems a third of relationships begin at work I'm not suggesting anyone should ever abuse their power I'm I'm not suggesting you shouldn't be very

careful that you're ever leveraging power making anyone uncomfortable but for God's sakes go up and talk to strangers there's nothing wrong with that and if you approach a strange woman

and and try and express get a conversation going and she's not interested you're both going to be fine you're both gonna be fine and what I see as a generation of men who don't take

care of themselves physically and become so isolated that the idea of talking to a strange woman is so alien and alien and uncomfortable to them they just

rather stay home and do something else and I don't want to stereotype all introverts is is leading to bad places that's not true at all but the majority of men you talk to they want to be

financially successful and they want to have a great partner at some point and that is a function of of your willingness to put yourself in uncomfortable situation so anyways get mentally and physically strong take

economic responsibility for your household get out of the house as much as possible try and find things where you're building something in the agency of others I don't care every day you should be be around strangers every day

like if it's work I don't know if it's church I don't care if it's non-profit a softball league the gym classes whatever it is you need to be around a massive number of strangers and finding reasons

to have bump off of them and find economic and personal and platonic opportunities as often as possible we are a social species to get to a city get around a lot of people get out there

every day start making money and become really strong you should be able to walk into any room in your at your age and think if [ __ ] got real I can kill and eat everybody or outrun them one or the

other one or the other now I'm at the point where I can do neither I'm not strong and my knees are going but anyways at your age it should be one or both you could pay someone to kill

everybody or coming there you go that would be awesome there you go yeah what's happening people if you enjoyed that then press here for the full unedited episode and don't forget to

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